Chapter 65
S
tatio bene fide carinis
"A safe harbour for ships"


"Truth is you're not okay,
but you will be."
Whiskey Words and a Shovel


A loud, earth-rumbling crack made her bolt upright. A small ball of fluff mewed unhappily as she whipped around to face the source of the noise.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha asked to her side, and she turned to face him, arms out in her new gesture of wanting comfort.

Inuyasha spoke her silent language and leaned forward so she could wrap her arms around his neck.

"Kagome, how do you feel?" Sango asked, and Kagome nodded, arms trembling around his neck. "Kagome?"

"For fuck's sake, give her some space," Inuyasha snapped, waving an arm at Sango.

"I'm fine," she mumbled into his shoulder.

"See, she's fine," he said, shooing Sango away from them.

Inuyasha huffed, and after a few moments, she pulled away from him.

"How's your ankle?"

"It's not really hurting right now," she answered, shifting as Inuyasha grabbed the zipper tab and pulled it down enough to allow her to move her leg outside the bedding. It was a gnarly swirl of black and blue bruising, and she winced as she tried to rotate it, testing its sensitivity.

"Oh, Kagome, that looks so much worse than yesterday," Sango said, already turning to the medical kit.

Clawed fingers gently pressed on her ankle in spots, watching her face as she winced.

"Is it broken?" She hissed as he pressed on a particularly painful spot.

"Don't think so," he answered. "Looks like you just knocked it around a bit."

"Probably when I fell down into the ravine," she said, and he gave her a blank look. "Where you found me," she clarified, and his face paled.

"You fell down that!" He leaned away from her slightly.

"How did you think I wound up down there?" She asked him, tilting her head, and his mouth opened and shut a few times as he stared—completely wide-eyed—at her.

"You're sure you didn't break anything?" He asked, suddenly all hands, running them along her arms and shoulders, feeling for anything that was out of place. His fingers danced along her neck and head, applying gentle pressure until she winced as he touched near where Kouga had thrown her.

She winced again when his fingers skimmed near her temple.

"Ow," she mumbled, pulling away from him and his prodding fingers. He stopped pressing against tender flesh, drawing his hands away from her head. "My ankle is the only thing I'm worried about."

Well, and her bladder that had decided to sing the song of its people. She looked outside. The rain had lessened to a slow trickle, but it was clear that it would open up and pour down any moment now.

"Hey, Sango," Kagome said, twisting to look at her friend. "Can you help me outside? I need to use the little girls room."

"Yeah, of course," Sango said, and Inuyasha scoffed as Sango leaned down to help her up. He smacked her hands away, scooping her off the ground, and walking to the opening of the cave before anyone could protest.

"Inuyasha, you are not helping me do this!" Kagome said, still holding onto his haori.

"Fine," he grumbled, turning back to look at Sango. "You comin'?" He snapped, and she shot him a glare as she stood up to follow them. "Ain't like we got all day before the sky opens up again."

"Watch it," Sango warned, sticking her finger in his face.

Inuyasha scoffed, turning and walking out into the mist with Sango following them closely.

He carefully set her down on the soft earth, and her toes dug into the mud from where it had rained. His hands lingered on her waist, as he made sure that she was steady before taking a step away and turning around.

"What're you doing?" Kagome asked as Sango stepped up beside her.

"Well, you gonna piss or not?"

"Not with you standing right there!"

"Well, 's not like I'm going anywhere, so deal with it."

"Inuyasha, I am not—"

At that, Inuyasha whirled on his feet, snapping a finger to point in her face.

"You were fucking kidnapped! You've been missing for however many fucking days it's been! You think I'm gonna let you out of my sight? You aren't getting five feet from me, woman!"

Kagome sighed, reaching her hand up to his angry scowling face. It was so hard to take him seriously when he scowled and leaned into her hand when she touched him.

"I'm not saying leave me alone here, but can you please go a little bit farther where you at least can't see me?"

"No," he growled back.

"Please?" Kagome asked again.

"We can stop by the stream on the way back to rinse off her feet," Sango added, and his eyes snapped towards her. "You can even run a quick perimeter to double check and make sure that there's no danger. We should be done by the time you get back?" Sango's gaze flicked to Kagome who smiled gently and nodded.

"See?"

He huffed, looking away from her face but not breaking contact from her hand.

"I'll be right here, Inuyasha," Sango added.

"And what good did that fucking do earlier?" He snapped, a hand reaching up to lightly touch her waist.

"That's not fair, Inuyasha. We didn't know that he was a problem. We know now."

"Inuyasha, please?"

He huffed again, not looking at her, and she pressed her hand against his cheek until his eyes refocused on her face.

He let out a low growl, and she knew that she had him.

"Fine," he growled, eyes shifting to Sango. "You got three minutes. And if anything happens to her," he flicked his gaze to Sango, "it's your fucking ass."

His eyes turned back to her, lingering for just a moment, and then he took a step back before disappearing into the trees. His youki drifted away, and Kagome let out a soft sigh. It made her nervous to have him so far away and out of her touch, but she really needed to pee. And there were some things that she wasn't ready to let him see—or hear—just yet.

"I honestly don't know how you deal with him," Sango muttered, helping Kagome lower herself to awkwardly squat without putting any real weight on her ankle and also not peeing on herself or her clothes.

"It's not so bad. He's just worried."

"We were all worried," Sango added. "But we're not being jerks about it."

"Yeah," Kagome whispered, looking off into the trees.

Finished, Sango pulled her to her feet, helping steady her as she redressed.

"Would you like to do the honors?" Sango asked.

Kagome turned towards the direction of the youki, and she took a small breath.

"Inuyasha," she called, albeit not loudly. There was a part of her that was still afraid that Kouga or something else was lingering off in the distance, just waiting. His youki bounded towards her, and it was only a moment after she'd called his name that he reappeared, a brief slide in the mud nearly toppling him over.

Sango snorted behind her hand, and he glowered at her.

"Smooth," she commented with a laugh.

"Oh, fuck you, Sango," he snapped, quickly scooping Kagome up off the ground and heading not towards the cave.

"Where are we going?" She asked him, struggling to look around the trees. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, but she'd like to know what was happening and where they were going.

"To the stream so you can rinse your feet off. Pretty sure you don't want muddy feet in your bedding."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks."

Inuyasha stepped into the stream, and gently lowered her into the water, steadying her with hands on her hips.

"It's cold," she whispered, lowering her injured ankle into the water. But it did feel good against the swollen joint.

"Sorry," he mumbled, looking down at her feet.

"It feels good against my ankle though," she admitted, hands resting on his wrists as she twisted her ankle around in the crisp water.

He tugged her into a hug, holding her close to him, and she buried her face into his chest as he buried his into her good shoulder.

A few quiet moments passed between them, and she took a deep breath of his fire rat. He was warm and safe, and even though she was out in the woods, outside their tiny safe cave, she felt okay.

A loud clap of thunder—the type of thunder that churned and echoed, crackling as it rolled over the ground, and she jumped at the ear splitting noise.

"I guess that's our cue to go back," she mumbled, shifting her gaze back to his. His tongue ran out over his lips, and her felt her heart leap into her throat, skipping around frantically as she watched him.

A sharp crack of lightning split a tree nearby, and before she could even react, Inuyasha had already shifted them so that he blocked any shrapnel from hitting her.

"Are you okay?" He asked, and she nodded.

"Can we go back now?"

He swung her legs out from under her, making quick work of darting through the trees just as the rain began to come down. Large fat raindrops fell on them as he made it to the cave and the sky really opened up.

"You made it!" Shippo shouted, and Kagome turned to look at him as Inuyasha walked inside, setting her back on her sleeping bag, settling in beside her.

Shippo crawled into her lap as she leaned back against the wall, curling up as she stroked the fur on his tail.

"Here," Sango said, holding a wrap for her ankle. "Let's wrap this and have you elevate it while we wait out the storm."

Sango tenderly took her damp foot and began wrapping it with the bandage, using her backpack to help prop it up.

"It's not too tight?" Sango asked, and Kagome shook her head.

"No, it's okay."

Miroku brought her over a small bowl of breakfast.

"Here," he said, "it may be closer to lunch time now, but you haven't eaten much."

"Thanks, Miroku," she said, giving him a small smile. He smiled back, rising up and moving to the entrance to replace the wards and set up the barrier again.

Kagome ate a few bites of food as Shippo lounged in her lap.

"The reiki doesn't bother you?" She asked him, and Shippo shrugged.

"It tingles at first, but that goes away."

She looked at Inuyasha, who also shrugged.

"Like the runt said. Feels weird at first, but then it goes away. I only notice it if I get close."

"So you can still feel reiki?" She asked him, and he sighed, looking at her.

"Eat, Kagome," he stated, and Shippo nudged the bowl slightly with his hand.

She took another bite, and Inuyasha leaned his head back against the wall.

"Are you tired?" She asked him.

"What part of 'eat' aren't you getting?" He grumbled, cracking an eye open to look at her.

She gave him a small smile, giggling as a blush spread up and over his cheeks. Leaning against his arm, she continued to take a few small bites of the meat. It had a distinct gaminess to it, but she'd gotten used to that ages ago.

Shippo happily laid in her lap, head resting on her raised leg, as he played with his spinning top, fingering the edges of his small toy almost like Buyo did.

Shifting her leg, she moved her foot, wincing at the sharp jolt that ran up her leg and the dull throbbing afterwards.

"What is it?" Inuyasha asked, already moving towards her ankle.

"I just moved it too much," she answered, trying to appease him, but he was already holding her ankle in his hand. He pushed her pack closer to her knee before setting her leg back on top.

Sango was digging through the medical box, holding up the bottle of painkillers to check the dose before dumping two into her hand.

"Here," Sango said, handing the pills over with a fresh bottle of water. "That should help with the pain too."

Kagome took the pills, swallowing them down quickly.

Sango reclaimed her seat near Miroku, and Inuyasha returned to his spot beside her.

"Kagome," Miroku started, clearing his throat. "Do you feel up to talking for a bit?"

She stiffened at the question, and Inuyasha tensed beside her.

"About what?" She asked, already knowing the answer to the question, and already knowing that they were going to make her talk about it, whether she wanted to or not.

"We're concerned about the shards," he continued, and her hand came up to the necklace around her neck. "After what Inuyasha told us about Kouga."

She glanced up at the half-demon beside her, afraid of what he'd told them.

"You said they felt corrupted," Inuyasha continued.

Kagome looked back at the others, who were staring at her almost expectantly.

"What else did you say?" She asked quietly, shifting her gaze back to her lap. Her fingers found a snag in her nail and picked at it in an attempt to smooth it out.

His fingers slid over her own, stilling them completely as he wrapped them around hers. Shippo shifted in her lap, slowly rolling over so that his face had buried itself into her stomach.

"Just the stuff about the shards," he answered, and she stared at his face for just a moment, believing him completely.

"Kagome," Sango said, drawing her attention away. "The more we know, the more we'll be able to help."

Her fingers squeezed Inuyasha's, and she shifted towards him, pressing her shoulder against his arm.

She knew that. She knew that they needed to know, but sharing everything just seemed like too much and too soon.

Inuyasha shifted his arm, pulling his fingers free, and wrapping it around her shoulders and tucking her into his side. Her hands came up to clutch onto his fingers again, seeking the reassurance of his touch and presence. She shifted so that she'd turned into him a little more.

"Kagome?" Miroku asked.

"I just—I need a minute," she stammered out the sentence, pulling her arms around herself, and dragging her ankle off her bag. Inuyasha leaned forward to snag his haori from where it was piled on her sleeping bag and draped it across her like a blanket. Shippo shifted under the fabric but didn't move much other than that. He slid his hand under his haori, and Kagome eagerly slid her hand into it. His fingers were warm and steady against her trembling cold ones.

Taking a slow breath, she felt his fingers tighten their grip on her shoulder. No one said a word, and she really wished that someone would say something so it wasn't her breaking the quiet.

Licking her lips, she took a shaky breath.

"What—When—Where do you want me to start?" She asked. Her fingers ran along his claws, as he let her play with his fingers.

"Wherever you feel most comfortable," Miroku answered. "We're not going to judge you," he added after a moment.

Kagome nodded. They were her friends; they wouldn't look badly on her for what she'd been forced to do.

But the fear that she would look weak—yet again—was something she'd wanted to avoid.

"Kagome, we just want to help," Sango added, and Kagome gave her another small nod.

"Yeah, I know." She swallowed back the rising nausea, attempting to take a steadying breath.

"How about you start at the beginning?" Miroku offered, clearly sensing her inability to determine what was important. "Inuyasha missed part of that."

"Yeah, okay," she took a breath, glancing up at him. "Koga grabbed me and ran. He was really fast. Faster than I've ever seen him run." Her hands gripped his as she took another long breath. "I told him to stop, but he wasn't listening to me at all." Inuyasha's fingers clutched at hers in return as her voice broke. "I—He wouldn't stop for anything, so I—I made him." Her voice came out as a whisper.

"How did you make him stop?" Sango asked, but she saw Miroku's eyes widen with recognition. She'd used the only weapon that she had at her disposal.

Kagome pulled one hand out and pooled her reiki at her fingertips. Sango seemed to get the gist of it.

"It wasn't bad," she closed her fingers, effectively shutting her reiki off, and she stared at her fingers. "I just wanted him to stop."

"And what did he do?"

"We—we were going so fast," Kagome felt her chin tremble, and she didn't understand why. This wasn't even the worst of it; it was only the beginning. "He—When I zapped him, he just let go, and I—when I woke up, we were in a cave," Inuyasha tensed beside her for only an instant before drawing her closer, which she was thankful for. Shippo crawled out of her lap as she curled up more towards Inuyasha.

He was warm, the air felt like it had dropped ten degrees in the last few minutes.

Inuyasha scooped her up and shifted the both of them back towards the fire. He moved to set her down, and she didn't want to tell this story alone.

"Please," she asked, and he hesitated for only a moment before settling down in front of the fire and allowing her to sit in his lap. Leaning her head against his shoulder as she situated herself, she looped a finger around his beads.

"You don't remember how you got there?" Sango asked.

"I barely remember anything past hitting the ground. We were going so fast, I must've blacked out."

Inuyasha fixed his haori so it covered her better, and she was thankful for the heat of him, filling the space beneath it.

"But that's when I knew something was wrong with him. He kept talking to someone, but there wasn't anyone else there."

"What did he say?" Miroku asked.

"He kept telling them to stop," Kagome answered. That part tended to get a little fuzzy. "He got really upset when I suggested that we leave. His eyes kept changing color though."

"What do you mean?" Inuyasha asked.

"You know how your eyes change when you transform?" She asked, and he just stared at her blankly. Right. Of course, he wouldn't know. Great job, Kagome. She turned to Miroku and Sango, who had an air of recognition in what she was saying. "Kouga's eyes kept changing from normal to gold, but the eyes themselves were black. It was almost like they were reversed colors."

"And the shards?" Miroku asked.

"I could feel the darkness. I didn't even have to look at them to know that. They've never felt that dark before with him. But when I came to, he seemed better—more like himself."

"What do you mean when you came to?" Sango asked. "Is that when you got the cut on your head?"

Kagome nodded.

"He got really angry when I said to leave, and he kinda threw me." Inuyasha tensed under her, and she continued quickly to explain before he exploded. "He felt really bad about it though! He told me to run away! He said that he would fight it to let me escape, and I just had to reach the stream but I couldn't find it, and then it was raining and dark and everything felt just like before—" A clawed hand came up almost turning her face so it was pressed into his shoulder. Gripping his wrist, she let out a low sob.

There was a lull in the conversation, and Kagome thought about the next part of her story and how much she really didn't want to tell them anymore.

"Kagome, you don't have to," Inuyasha started, but she shook her head.

These were her friends, right? They'd said that they'd care for her no matter the circumstances.

This was something that they would all have to face. If something was corrupting the shards, they need to know what they were potentially facing. They had a right to know what was threatening their lives.

"Did Kouga say anything else about who might be behind it?" Miroku asked, changing the direction of the conversation.

"He," Kagome sniffled as Inuyasha's thumb ran a soothing pattern along her uninjured side. "He was pretty sure it was Naraku."

Now that she thought about it, it made sense. It would be like Naraku to use someone against their will, except that it was actually Kouga doing the damage.

She wiped her eyes with the edge of her fingers.

Kouga would've killed her, and when Inuyasha found out, he'd kill Kouga. She had no doubts that the two of them would've gone at it, but she felt pretty sure that Inuyasha would beat Kouga in a real fight.

Two birds, one stone.

"That's what I thought too," Miroku admitted, rubbing his chin. "But we weren't sure how he was going about it. The last time, he—" Miroku paused for just a moment, "he used Tsubaki, and assuming that he's repeating the same tactic—"

"He would need another dark priestess," Sango finished.

"Or priest," he added with a slight tilt of his head. "To be fair."

"But my shards aren't affected this time."

"Maybe he was only after Kouga?" Miroku offered with a shrug.

"Maybe he was using Kouga to get to us," Sango added with her own shrug. "Naraku knows that we've allied against him. I wouldn't put it past him to start trying to turn us against each other."

But he already had, hadn't he? He'd forced Kagome's hand into nearly purifying him to save her own skin.

She'd had to turn her power against someone she considered a friend.

She didn't want to talk about this anymore.

Twisting herself in Inuyasha's lap, she hid her face in his neck and shoulder. A clawed hand came to rest on her back, supporting her.

Because she'd left Kouga alone and defenseless in the woods.

She'd left him like she'd been left behind: wounded and nearly dead.

What made it worse was that she couldn't find it in herself to ask any of them to search for him.

The warmth of Inuyasha's body didn't soothe her the way she'd hoped; instead, all she could remember was when it was her out in the woods, and how the damp coldness slowly filtered its way through her body before the inevitable darkness took her in.


A/N: Hey guys!

I'm really sorry to write this, but I'm going to have put everything (including my other stories) on hold for the next couple of weeks. My health has taken a wrong turn-not for the worse or anything-but recovery is taking a bit longer than I anticipated. I haven't been able to really eat anything of substance, and my energy levels just aren't there. To give you an idea, the most amount of calories that I've managed to eat in a single day in the past week was 700. That's the high number. I've lost 5 pounds already this week, which is not a good thing (I mean, yay, five pounds, but not this quickly). I'm a barely functional member of society at the moment, and while I'm trying to write, my brain just can't compute.

If I get better before then, I'll definitely post before then, but for right now, I just can't. "Objects in Space" is finished, and I'll continue to post those, but the others require higher level brain function that just isn't there yet.

At any rate, I hope to be back before the next couple of weeks is out. I sincerely hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and feel free to let me know what you think.