Chapter 88
Pari passu
"Moving Together (hand in hand)"


"Words that, against her will,
swarmed within her, now fly around her, shrieking,
while others that she still holds back,
lurk in the caverns of her eyes,
waiting for night."
—"The Sybil"


The events of the day had taken it out of her, and it was shortly after dinner that she felt her eyes drooping, even though she really wanted to stay awake. She wanted to be awake in case Inuyasha returned. But it was when her head lolled to the front for the fourth time that she realized that she wasn't going to make it much longer.

"Here," Sango said, tugging the blankets away and helping her shift her bedding so that she could stretch out.

The fire was still roaring.

"Sorry," she muttered as she moved slowly and carefully and with help.

"What are you sorry for?" Sango asked, as she tucked the blanket around her.

"Because I'm so tired all the time! And it means that you feel like you can't do anything, and it makes me feel bad—"

"Kagome," Miroku started, interrupting her tirade with a hand on her shoulder, "I assure you, neither of us feels anything other than relief that you are recovering. We would much rather let you rest and enjoy the quiet while we have it."

"I'm still sorry," she mumbled, and Miroku patted her shoulder.

"What if we put up the screens, so the light doesn't bother you?" Sango asked.

Maybe that would make them feel a little better and not that she was almost a third wheel to their relationship.

It was starting to feel like that was the closest she was going to get to one anyway.

"Do you think that he's going to come back?" Kagome asked after a moment.

Sango winced.

"Inuyasha will come back," Miroku said as Sango quickly rose to drag over one of the privacy screens to place around her. "He merely needs some time and space to think. We both know that he's not one to sit and stew over recent events."

She knew that. She knew that he liked to move and do things over sitting still. Especially when he was frustrated or upset. But it didn't make what he did feel any less like abandonment.

Miroku helped Sango shift the screen into place so that it blocked the direct light from the fire.

"There. Is that dark enough for you?" Sango asked.

She probably could've slept regardless of the screens. Her body dragged under the exhaustion, and it was a heavy weight that pressed down on her so that even her eyelids were forced to close.

She gave Sango a small nod, and Sango tucked her blankets in around her shoulders.

"Call if you need anything, okay?"

Another nod, and Sango slipped out between the screens, and it wasn't but a moment longer that she slipped away.


The room was significantly brighter than before, and Kagome groaned quietly as she stretched her legs out a bit, feeling and hearing the joints crack as she moved.

It was quiet, so she assumed that everyone else was still asleep. Rolling onto her back, she stared at the ceiling and attempted to piece together her thoughts and feelings. She couldn't handle the thought that she'd somehow screwed up. Maybe she could've told the story better, instead she'd just info-dumped all of that right onto him, and it probably made her sound more guilty than she already was.

Rubbing her face with her good arm, she attempted to quell all the riotous thoughts that were happening before she wound up crying again. Her eyes still felt sore and puffy from yesterday, and no doubt they looked as awful as they felt.

Inuyasha hadn't been back, and he wasn't in the room. She tried to reach out with her reiki, but she couldn't feel him, but she also struggled to feel Shippo and Kirara. Though it was probably still weak from everything that had happened.

She'd screwed up, hadn't she? Even though she'd only meant to try and help Kikyo.

Something was wrong with her, and Kagome had only just the barest of information about it.

Her bladder gave a loud protest, almost cramping, and she didn't want to wake anyone else because she had to pee. Kagome rolled onto her side to try and push herself up. There was no reason that she couldn't try to get the job done herself.

They'd already done so much, and they deserved to sleep in.

Taking a deep breath, she rolled onto her knees. Her ankle didn't feel quite so tender, and she used the wall to help steady and pull herself up. Pressing more of her weight onto it, she felt it twinge a bit, but nothing like before. She could probably make it on her own.

She took a tentative step towards the small opening in the screens, and her ankle seemed to hold her just fine. Letting go of the wall, she moved slowly and delicately through the opening, limping towards the door to the porch.

Sliding it open, she hobbled out a few steps before leaning against the column to make sure that she could handle it on her own and not collapse halfway to her goal. She felt pretty solid, though her leg would probably be smarting a bit later. It wasn't like they had big plans to do anything dramatic later anyway.

Red dropped in front of her vision, and she started.

"What're you doing out here?" He asked, already shedding off his haori and wrapping it around her shoulders. It was so warm against the cool morning air.

"I needed to, you know," she gestured towards the trees.

He glanced over his shoulder at the treeline, eyes narrowing.

"Where's Sango?"

"They're sleeping, and I didn't want to wake them," she kept her voice low as she stared at her feet. "My ankle is well enough to walk on my own. I'm just going to go and come right back."

"You're not going anywhere on your own," he ordered, crossing his arms in front of his chest, as if issuing her an order.

She wanted to fight him on it, but she knew that he was right. How many times in the past month or more had she gone missing from right under their watch?

"I just didn't want to wake them for something dumb. I should be able to go to the bathroom on my own without being afraid of dying."

A wince passed over his face, and she felt guilty for the casual comment.

"I am sorry," she whispered, staring down at the wooden planks under her feet, "for what it's worth." For whatever reason, she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye.

"Don't be." His voice was quiet and soft, and she looked up as he took a small step towards her.

"But I—Kikyo's—" Her words stuttered out of her, and she struggled vainly to find something worthwhile to say to him, but the fact that he wasn't riotously mad at her was confusing at best. Her head tilted, and Inuyasha looked away to stare at something off to the side.

Her fingers tightened their grip on the edges of the haori as she held the front closed.

"You did what you had to." His mouth opened to say something else, but he seemed to think better of it. His arms flexed after a second, and that's when it clicked that maybe he felt just as bad about everything as she did, because he didn't seem mad at her at all.

"Inuyasha," she started, her voice low and quiet, just like his, and his eyes flicked up towards her for just a moment, and he looked every bit like he was prepared to be chastised for something that he'd done.

Except he hadn't done anything wrong.

At least nothing that she hadn't tried to do in the first place.

Taking a small step towards him, she reached a hand up slowly towards his face. He didn't back away or flinch from her, and she so pressed on. Her fingers drifted over the skin of his cheek, warm and firm to the touch. She watched her hand drift until her palm pressed firmly against the side of his face. In her peripheral vision, Kagome saw his arms uncross from in front of him.

He was no longer bracing himself, and her eyes drifted back to his. She was standing on the porch, and he was in the grass. The height difference between the two made them almost eye-level to each other now.

She took another small step towards him, watching his face. Her hand slid around the back of his head, dragging him towards her. He went willingly as he arms wrapped around her waist, tugging her against his chest. Her head leaned to the side as she pulled herself in for a hug. His arms came up around her back, and she pressed her cheek against his, as her own arm wrapped around his back.

It was a surprise to herself that she'd wanted to do something more than just a casual hug, but she was too chicken to go for it. His head pressed against hers, and she turned her face into him so that her nose was barely brushing against his hair. Inuyasha leaned his head back slightly so that he was brushing his nose against her temple.

"Kagome," he whispered.

The door slid open behind her.

"Well, glad to see you two are making up and not out," he commented.

"Shut the fuck up, Miroku!" Inuyasha snapped, arms still wrapped around her. "Go get Sango so Kagome can go piss."

Kagome sighed into his hair. She supposed it was too much to ask for a quiet morning for too much longer.

"I'm up," Sango mumbled from inside the room, the sound of blankets being flung back and Kirara's unhappy trill. Kagome could only imagine the fire cat curling back up in the blankets after Sango left. It was a well known fact that if someone didn't fold up their blankets quickly enough then Kirara would curl up in them and refuse to be moved.

Miroku had been the recipient of many a cat scratch when he tried to move her, and Kirara could only be pacified in allowing him back into her good graces by him letting her nap in his robes.

"I suppose I should become quite familiar with cream fur on all my robes from now on," he'd commented once, and Kirara had only mewed as she curled up inside the fold of his outer robe.

Kagome smiled, letting her weight sag against him, and he seemed ready to take it.

"How are you up? Why are you on your foot?" Sango asked, stepping out onto the veranda.

Kagome turned her head to look at Sango, even though Inuyasha's arms wrapped tighter around her.

"Her ankle's better. Come on, Kagome's gotta piss." He swung her off the porch as she yelped and he swooped her legs out from under her.

"Inuyasha!"

But he didn't stop moving towards the trees, and Kagome glanced over his shoulder to see Sango marching after them angrily.

"Why are you being so mean to Sango?"

He scoffed but didn't elaborate, still heading straight for the trees.

"Inuyasha?"

"Sango's been a bitch."

"I'm sure she was just stressed out. It couldn't have been easy taking care of the two of us like that."

Inuyasha made a noise, huffing through his nose, and very obviously not making eye contact with her at all.

Once she was safely inside the line of trees, he sat her down but didn't move back.

Sango marched up to him, jabbing a finger into his space.

"If you've got enough energy to be an asshole then you're sparring with me later!"

Inuyasha sneered at her, but his look was betrayed by how gently he was holding her hip and the hand that was gently keeping her arm around his neck.

"Alright, you can go now." Sango shooed him away, fingers flicking for him to leave. He let Kagome slide her arm from around his neck but remained in her space for just a moment, glaring at Sango.

He made a noise and then darted off, leaving her and Sango next to the tree.

"Honestly," Sango muttered. "I'm going to beat him bloody with Hiraikotsu."

"Not too bloody," Kagome said with a smile. "Though he is being a little bit more of a jerk than normal."

"Just a little bloody then."

"Nothing broken."

"You're just worried that I'll mess up his face."

Kagome rolled her eyes at Sango's comment, trying to test out her legs and see how much help she would actually need.

"I think that I can stand on my ankle, but my legs still feel weak."

"That's not surprising," Sango commented. "It's going to take a few days to regain your strength."

Thankfully, Kagome seemed to be regaining her ability to squat and stand on her own, though she still struggled.

The down wasn't nearly as difficult as the up, and Kagome required Sango's help extensively in rising to her feet, and leaning back against the tree to catch her breath and let her legs stop shaking from the short exertion. Her head swam a bit, but that was probably from standing so quickly as she tugged her pants back up to her hips.

"You okay?" Sango asked, and Kagome nodded, pushing herself away from the trunk and taking a step away from the tree, assuming the vertigo would begin to fade. Sango reached out to steady her, and Kagome felt her balance falter as the ground started to sway under her feet. Bright white and black spots ran across her vision appearing in splotches and fading only to have two more pop up in their place.

"Yeah," she whispered, putting a hand to her head as she took another step and stumbled to the side.

"Inuyasha!" Sango called and simultaneously trying to assess what was wrong. "Stop moving. What's wrong? Are you dizzy?"

Kagome nodded weakly, swaying to the side as an arm wrapped around her waist, just as the spots swirled and danced across her vision.

"What the fuck, Sango?"

"She's dizzy. I think she just stood up too fast."

Closing her eyes, Kagome turned so that she was facing his chest, and holding onto fistfuls of his shirt as the world started to move and sway less under her feet.

Even as she tried to lean to balance out the world rocking beneath her feet, she felt the hard press of his hands into her side, probably to keep her from tumbling over.

The ground wasn't moving, she reminded herself. The ground wasn't moving. She just had to stand still for a bit and the world would right itself.

Kagome took a deep breath, feeling the world slowly stop its tilting and swaying and rocking, and she took a tremulous breath, loosening her grip and leaning away from him.

His grip on her remained firm and steady, and she slowly let her eyes drift up the line of his neck and all the way up to his face.

He stared at her intently, and she found herself in those same feelings as the porch only minutes ago. His finger flexed against her hips, fingertips pressing into the soft flesh there.

Her fingers tightened their grip on his shirt, urging him forward and down towards her.

"Well, I'm going to head back now," Sango said, breaking the bubble that encased the two of them with a harsh snap so fierce that Kagome physically recoiled. Sango turned away with a wave towards them. "Show up when you're ready."

Inuyasha cleared his throat, and Kagome giggled at the bright pink blush that spread across his cheeks as he looked everywhere but her. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing herself into his chest one more as she tried to hide the grin breaking out across her face.

"What're you laughing at?" He grumbled, and she could only shake her head.

After a couple moments, she was able to regain herself, and she stood there with him in the quiet. He didn't press, and he didn't make her move or question her any further about it. Instead, he just stood there with her, arms wrapped around her and just waiting.

"You're okay though?" He asked, and she nodded.

"We can go back," she said, leaning away from him to look up at his face. His eyes were already watching her, and she could feel herself began to turn pink.

"Yeah," he sighed. "You wanna walk or—?" He let the statement drift off, even though he hadn't let go of her in the slightest.

"I should probably walk a bit," she said, looking down at her feet. Her ankle was at least a normal color not the multicolored black and purple mass that it had been.

His hands drifted away from her hips, and he seemed to awkwardly stand there, arms akimbo and unsure of what to do.

Kagome shifted to grab his arm, tugging him beside her, and he let her move him wherever she wanted. Inuyasha waited, and she leaned on him as she took a step, letting him take some of the weight off her ankle. It was starting to ache a bit, so it was nice to be able to have a crutch of sorts.

They walked slowly, so slowly, but Inuyasha didn't once complain about it.

He'd come back. He was here.

She wanted to ask if he'd gone to see Kikyo, but she couldn't bring herself to ask. Maybe he hadn't left at all; maybe he'd just needed some space. Maybe he'd left and couldn't find her and came back. Maybe he did find her and she was perfectly fine and that's why he came back. Because if she wasn't, Kagome doubted that even she could've dragged him back here.

Inuyasha's focus was an amazing and terrible thing. She'd watched him ignore everything else and take out foes everyone else struggled against because they were simply in his way of getting to his target. But she'd seen how that focus, when lasered in on her, was a terrible and frightening experience. She shuddered with the way that he'd gotten in her face, snarling at her to stop lying to him.

"Cold?" He asked, and she shook her head, tucking herself closer to him anyway.

It was not a far walk back to the cabin, but each step began to throb and ache, and she was glad that they were nearing their room.

The crunch of grass and leaves beneath their feet were the only thing that made any noise.

Inuyasha had left that afternoon. She'd felt his youki flee away from the room, and by this morning, he'd returned. It wouldn't be a surprise to see him cover miles of ground in those many hours. Almost a full day, in fact. It wouldn't surprise her if he'd crossed all the way to the ocean's shore and made it back again.

Kikyo hadn't looked okay either of the times that she'd seen her, and this last time, the jewel shards were tainted.

Kikyo was using them, and she couldn't purify them, so what did that mean? Had Kikyo lost her powers? Kikyo was one of the strongest priestesses around; she knew everything about everything, and she couldn control her powers in a way that Kagome only ever dreamed of.

Sure, Kagome had done some things out of sheer desperation, but there was hardly anything that she'd call control. And there was the whole thing about Inuyasha being able to withstand her reiki, but not anyone else's. Which was weird. Doubly weird even.

Something had happened; something had changed, and Kagome didn't know what it was or how to fix it.

She knew next to nothing, and all she had to go on were clues and vague ideas of things that she just barely understood.

She knew was reiki was, how it worked, that a priestess could run out of it, and that she'd had no ability to use hers freely until after the curse was broken. But the curse hadn't always been there. The curse was new though, so what had changed?

That was the problem. Kagome's board looked less like a conspiracy theorist and more like someone who'd just used the last couple of post-its on a pad and never gone out to buy any more.

She winced as she started towards the porch, trying to envision which foot would be the best to step up with.

Probably not the bad ankle, but putting all her weight on it in the first place seemed like a good recipe for falling flat on her face.

But that line of thinking was useless as Inuyasha tugged his arm loose and lifted her with complete and utter ease onto the porch and stepped up behind her.

"You're done walking today," he commented, already leaning down to pull her shoes off her feet.

"I won't get any stronger if I don't use it," she reminded him and he shot a glare up at her, even as she leaned forward to rest her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.

"Yeah, well, you'll just fuck it up more if you overdo it," he added, tugging off her other shoe. He stood up slowly, picking up her shoes with his fingers, and pushing the door open. He ushered her inside with a hand to her back, and she limped in—as much as she tried to walk normally, she probably had overdone it just a bit.

Inuyasha closed the door and tossed her shoes on the floor, still ushering her towards the fire. It actually felt like Inuyasha was just herding her wherever he wanted her at this point, like some kind of sheep dog.

Inuyasha helped her sit, even though she felt sure that she was capable of doing it on her own. She tucked his haori around her shoulders as she sat next to the fire and Inuyasha sat down beside her.

She looked over at him as he put a leg behind her, nudging her in the shoulder with it. She looked over at him, and he stared at the fire, shifting his gaze over to her for just a moment as he nudged her back again.

When she finally leaned back against his leg, he looked back across the pit at Sango and Miroku.

"So," she stated plainly, "what's the plan?"


A/N: Happy Thursday! Kudos to mustardyellowsunshine for sending the epigraph for this chapter to me.

I hope you guys are all having a wonderful March! We're heading into Spring Break, and I'm pretty sure that I've never needed a break more than I do now.

As always, let me know what you think and I'll see you on March 23rd.