Chapter 99
Dulce est desipere in loco
"It is sweet on occasion to play the fool"


"We are more together
than we know, how else could we keep on discovering
we are more together than we thought?"
—"The Country of Marriage"


Whatever dream she was having, she never wanted it to end.

She inhaled deeply, drawing a hard breath in through her nose, and all she could smell was Inuyasha.

Shifting a little, an arm tugged her closer, pressing her against the firm body that could only be Inuyasha's. She'd never feel this safe anywhere else, and she never wanted to leave. She could lay here forever with him.

Someone spoke softly, and warm fingers drifted across the planes of her lower back.

They were careful. Delicate.

And she was loathe to actually rise up from where she was wrapped in her sleeping bag.

It was a long and quiet time between them, but his fingers and claws picked up strange patterns and shapes as she laid there.

If he knew that she was awake, he said nothing of it. Instead opting to stay just as quiet as her. Maybe he didn't want to move either. Maybe he was content too.

She'd thought that maybe she'd be afraid, having someone—a man—so close to her like this. Like before almost. Because she did remember what had happened to her and she doubted she'd ever be allowed to forget. But if there was one thing that she found solace in, it was him.

The men in the forest had been trying to give her to the healer there, to sell her off to someone, and she had been afraid for a long time that her fight, her vim and vigor had not been enough. That she hadn't fought hard enough or long enough and that she hadn't bought them enough time to find her.

Or worse, that someone had done something to her friends. Harmed them in some way.

And then he'd shown up like some sort of avenging angel—well, an angel that cursed more often than not. But definitely avenging.

And she honestly wouldn't change him for anything or anyone else.

His nose bumped her forehead, and she buried her face into his neck and chest, refusing to acknowledge that she'd have to get up.

"Come on, they're bringing dinner."

She let out a low whine, clenching her eyes closed as tightly as she could.

"Come on, you need to eat," he spoke lowly, and he lifted himself from her sleeping bag.

Was it wrong that she'd hoped that he'd press his lips to her head again, like he had in the forest?

Probably.

It didn't stop her from wanting it more than ever though.

Kagome looked up at him as he rose, blinking in the dim light of the room.

The shadows danced off his features, illuminating him and making him ethereal, like he'd always been.

To her at least.

He did and could do so many amazing things, and somehow he always thought of himself as less than, and she didn't know how to make him see that he was so much better than anyone could imagine.

His features turned into a frown as she didn't move to get up.

"You hurting?" He asked, fingers reaching out to drift over her cheek, and she could feel the tenderness of the skin under his touch.

"No," she whispered with a small, minute shake of the head.

He watched her for a bit, searching her face as though she was lying to him.

When he seemed satisfied that she was telling him the honest truth, he broke his diagnostic stare, ears turning towards a noise that she wasn't hearing yet.

And sure enough the door opened a few moments later and quiet voices were exchanged before the sound of fabric and soft footsteps followed and then the door closed behind them.

"Here," Inuyasha said, flipping the blanket back and letting in all the cold air.

"Cold!" She yelped, and a grin broke out over his face. "My feet were finally warm!"

"I'll put you by the fire," he said lifting her up from the sleeping bag and walking around the divider and setting her down by the warmth of the flames.

"How are you doing?" Sango asked as soon as Kagome was sitting on the ground.

"Okay, I guess," she looked down at her ankle for the first time, realizing how swollen it had become since she'd been snatched from their previous room.

"That's good to hear," Miroku said with a smile. "We were worried about you."

So much for being able to walk on her own. Hopefully, it wouldn't take nearly as long for her to heal up again.

Stupid kidnappers.

"Sorry," she answered, and Miroku shook his head.

"No apologies needed," he said, as Inuyasha took a tray and brought it to her, as Sango handed her a cup of tea.

"I know, but I feel like I've set everything back by days."

"Nonsense," Miroku answered quickly, taking a small sip of tea. "We had no plans, and we have information that we didn't have before. All good things."

Kagome shot a glance at Inuyasha.

"And I'm sure that Inuyasha won't mind if you require a bit more assistance." She caught the angry glare that Inuyasha sent his way as Miroku sipped his tea, which made her question things.

She wanted him to show the same feelings that she had, and she was trying to not to project her own feelings onto his actions, but it seemed like he had the same feelings for her. Maybe not the exact same, but he seemed to feel something slightly more than friends for her. Right?

The letdown if she was wrong would be devastating.

But she knew Inuyasha and he didn't just kiss anyone, friend or not.

So what did it mean?

Because she knew what she wanted it to mean.

She knew that she was his friend. Perhaps even his best friend. Though he might not know the difference.

In short, they were close.

So was that just a friendly 'glad you're not dead' kind of kiss or a 'I like you more than a friend' kiss?

"Kagome?" Inuyasha's voice scattered her questions to the wind.

"Yeah? What?" She quipped, shifting and taking a sip of her tea.

"You're just staring at your food," Sango pointed out, and Kagome internalized her wince.

"Oh, I'm fine," she picked up a bowl and took a bite of the rice in hopes that it would appease everyone and get their eyes off her.

She was a little hungry. Hungrier than she'd been in a few days at least.

Everyone seemed happy that she was eating and returned to their own meals.

"So, where are we going?"

"We're heading back to Kaede's. I think we need time to regroup."

"And you need to rest," Inuyasha added with a hard look at her, like he was expecting her to argue with him about it.

It would be nice to rest somewhere she knew she wouldn't be bothered or in danger.

She wanted to relax somewhere safe.

Preferably with Inuyasha, but she'd take just somewhere safe at this point.

Kagome nodded.

"We're going to stay here for the night and then head back towards Kaede's starting tomorrow," Sango explained. "We wanted to make sure that you were able to get warm."

"Everything went okay when we left?" She asked.

"They were almost sad to see us go," Miroku admitted, taking a sip of his tea.

"I even left them a gift," Shippo added with a flick of his tail.

Sango snorted into her tea, and she looked over at Inuyasha, who would tell her the truth.

Because something had happened while she was asleep, and she wanted to know what it was.

"What?" She asked him, and he glanced to the group for a second. "Tell me," she whined, reaching out to grab onto his sleeve. He stared at her for a moment, and she swore that he blushed just a little before turning back to his meal.

"Ask the monk."

Kagome turned towards Miroku, still holding onto Inuyasha's sleeve.

"What did you do?"

"Why does everyone assume that I did something?" He looked to Sango, who only rolled her eyes. "This is quite unfair! I am a monk!"

Shippo let out a snort, and Miroku snapped his chopsticks next to his ear, making the kitsune jump.

"That was rude. Let me tell you about the mark Shippo left."

"No!" Shippo yelped, leaping up from the ground to Miroku's shoulder.

"Oh yes, that's a great story, as we were leaving, Shippo—"

There was another shout by Shippo as he leapt off Miroku and onto Sango's shoulder trying to cover her mouth with his tiny hands.

"It was quite a show indeed. So there we were—" Miroku ducked with a laugh as Shippo leapt back to his shoulder.

"The monk had already ripped off his ofuda blessing the place, and Shippo—!" Shippo leapt across the group, stopped by Inuyasha's arm as he bit into his sleeve.

"Shippo decided to help out, and he—" Sango cut off as Shippo bounded from person to person to stop them from telling the story.

"He used his foxfire to—"

"He burned a mark into the wall, and told the guy—" Inuyasha caught Shippo as he paused talking. "You wanna tell Kagome what you said?"

"Not really," he whined.

"He told the owner, 'I'm going to leave a mark for future kitsune, so they know that you've wronged me."

Shippo drooped from where he was hanging by Inuyasha's claws.

"The best part was where he told the monk that he left fake blessings all the time so why couldn't he leave fake curses?" Inuyasha let out a barking laugh, releasing Shippo onto the ground.

The absurdity of it was beyond her, and she covered her mouth as she laughed.

"You're not mad?" Shippo asked, small hands resting on her thigh.

She shook her head.

"No, why would I be mad at you?"

"It wasn't very nice."

"No, it wasn't, but I can't say that they didn't deserve it after what they did. But we should keep our pranks and tricks to a minimum."

Shippo grinned up at her, tail flicking, and she scratched his scalp, and he pressed his head into her hand. Kagome smiled down at him before sweeping him up in a hug as he let out a surprised squeak, quickly holding her back.

She hadn't held him in what felt like forever.

Her shoulder twinged as she squeezed him, and she had to let him go earlier than she wanted.

"If I'd been there, I would've kicked their ass for you Kagome," Shippo said as she lowered him to her lap.

"Language, Shippo," she warned and he winced, but she knew exactly where she'd picked up the language problem.

Oh well, it wasn't the time nor the place to discuss it. They'd all been through enough the past couple of weeks to keep them for a lifetime.

He climbed out to resume eating his meal, and Kagome picked up her own chopsticks to do the same.

When she'd reached the end of her stomach, she set her chopsticks down and shifted her legs a bit. Her muscles ached, and her ankle was sore beyond measure.

She gently rubbed her leg, trying to ease the tenderness in her thighs.

Inuyasha stood abruptly, leaving part of his meal untouched, and went to her backpack, grabbing the medical kit and digging through it.

Kagome turned towards him, watching him as he dug through her box, clearly looking for something.

"What are you looking for?" She asked him, and he pulled something out and shut the box. He sat back down in front of her ankle and lifted it up into his lap as he gently wrapped her ankle with the bandage. "I can do that," she said, reaching towards the bandage, and he shooed her hands away from her ankle.

His eyes flitted up to hers as he would apply light pressure with the wrap, gauging whether or not she was feeling any pain.

He was always so careful with her, and he had such gentle hands.

It was a shame that no one else saw this side of him, but at the same time, Kagome was proud that he was willing to share it with her. He attached the clips, holding it in place before setting her ankle down gently and moving to sit behind her.

His legs encircled her, and she shifted slightly as he moved his foot under her calf to prop her ankle off the ground. His arms wrapped around her middle, pulling her against him. There was a moment of surprise, where the sudden contact jolted her of any all thoughts, but she carefully rested her hands over his, feeling the warm skin under her cool fingertips before she sagged back against him.

He sighed through his nose, hands shifting to cover hers instead of vice versa, warming them and ridding her of the chill from the air.

How could anyone not love him like this?

How could anyone hate him?

Honestly, a girl could get spoiled with this type of treatment, and Kagome was afraid that he'd end it and that would be it and she'd be left with this empty void that would threaten to swallow her whole and completely.

She wanted to do nothing more than curl up against him like this and imagine that the world held no evil in it, and that he'd protect her always.

It was a terrible pipe dream, and she knew it.

"Would you like me to see about arranging a bath for you?" Sango asked, and Kagome shook her head.

"I think I'd just like to stay in here for a little bit. I don't want to go anywhere."

Inuyasha's thumb rubbed a short line across her stomach.

"Are you hurting anywhere else?"

"I'm just sore, and my ankle hurts."

"You got medicine for that, right?" Inuyasha asked.

"Yeah, they're in the blue bottle."

"I'll get it," Sango said, rising to her feet and walking over to her pack.

"I'm really sorry that I messed up my ankle again," she said as Sango returned with the bottle and some water.

"Don't speak of it," Miroku said, "we should apologize for not reaching you sooner."

"But there was no way for you to find me," Kagome said. Surely, they didn't feel guilty? It wasn't like they hadn't dropped everything to find her the moment they were able. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"If the monk can't apologize, then neither can you," Inuyasha said, taking the water from Sango as Kagome dumped a couple pills into her hand. Handing the bottle back to Sango, she took the water from Inuyasha and swallowed the pills quickly with a swig of it.

Sango took the water from her, putting everything where it belonged back inside her pack.

Inuyasha's hands and returned to covering hers, and Shippo dragged over a blanket for her to use.

She still felt chilled from the events this morning, and a bath was really sounding like a good idea, but she didn't want to leave the room and take risks or—to be perfectly honest—leave this little cocoon that Inuyasha had created.

He grabbed the hem of the blanket, dragging it up to her chest as Shippo deftly tucked it around her feet.

Between the blanket, the fire, and Inuyasha, she already felt warmer.


There was a soft nudge, and Kagome cracked open her eyes to stare at the hanyou above her, who was obviously working to gently tuck her back into her sleeping bag.

His hand slipped out from under her head, and she blinked up at him.

"Shit, I didn't mean to wake you," he muttered, still tucking her back in.

She moved back towards the edge of her blanket, reaching her hand out to grab onto his sleeve as it passed by her.

"Stay," she insisted in a quiet voice. He stared, giving her an almost questioning look, and she took a deep breath, hoping that he did. But before she could speak, he interrupted her.

"Let me check on things, and I'll be back."

She nodded, and he stood, walking out of her view, and she curled up slightly in her sleeping bag.

The sudden desire to keep him close was an urge that she couldn't avoid or deny. He made her feel safe, and she needed that feeling again. She wanted to feel safe again.

Footsteps came around the edge of the privacy screen, and she looked up at him. There was a strange look on his face for a moment before he knelt down beside her.

"You good? You need anything?"

She shook her head, holding her arms out to him.

He waved his fingers at her in a motion for her to move over, and she shifted as much as she could, so that he could stretch out next to her.

He did, slowly, lying on his side, and she raised her head so that his arm could slide underneath as he shifted closer to her.

His other arm pulled her against him, and she let her body sag against his. The arm under her head, curled up, drawing her close enough that she felt him breathe into her hair.

Kagome nuzzled her nose into the base of his throat, feeling the warmth of him. Inuyasha's claws ran gently through her hair, and she hummed quietly to herself.

"Thank you for staying with me," she murmured, and he hummed in response.

"Dummy," he muttered.

"You're the dummy," she retorted, and he snorted, thumb rubbing a line back and forth along her back.

"You're the one who said she was tired," he commented quietly.

"Yeah," she breathed out, already feeling the weight tug at her, even though she'd slept most of the day it seemed.

This was nice. Feeling safe. Feeling like nothing and no one could get to her.

Her fingers clenched slowly in his haori and released, wondering as she drifted off if she could get him to do this every night.


It was the forest again.

Dark and lonely.

She looked through the trees, trying to find something that looked familiar.

But it was all dark and cold, and she remembered it. It was all the same.

A dark wood where all the bad things happened.

But that wasn't really true either, was it?

The bad things never really happened at night. The bad things almost always happened in the bright of day.

And maybe that made it all the scarier—seeing everything without the dark softening the experience.

"You made it after all," Kikyo said, stepping out from behind the trees, the glow behind her almost ethereal.

"What do you want, Kikyo?" Kagome asked, taking a small step backwards, but there was nowhere to retreat. Trees towered up behind her, blocking and prohibiting her escape.

Kikyo didn't answer, only taking slow strides towards her.

"What do you want, Kikyo?" Kagome repeated, pressing herself against the tree harder the closer that Kikyo came to her.

"What I have always wanted," she answered, fingers coming up to grasp Kagome's chin, "to live."

Sharp tines stabbed into her neck, cutting off any retort that Kagome could've made and pinning her to the tree.

"So be a good girl for once and die."

When she woke, it was with a whine as she moved her ankle and a harsh throb ran up her leg.

"What hurts? Your ankle?" Inuyasha asked, already rising up. It was so much cooler without him there beside her.

She nodded and whimpered as she tried to move it.

"Yeah, well, don't do that," Inuyasha said, and Kagome stuck her tongue out at him, making him grin. "You're okay though?" He asked, and she nodded.

"I think so."

His eyes drifted away from her ankle to her face. She gave him a weak smile, holding her arm out to him, lifting it as high as her shoulder would allow. All she wanted was to pretend like Kikyo wasn't standing there ultimately between them.

He didn't hesitate as he stretched out beside her again, slowly lowering himself as though she'd stop him or turn him away. As though she could ever do that to him. As though she'd ever want to do that to him.

He hummed, a deep rumbling through his chest, as she pulled herself closer to him.

"What time is it?"

"Early morning," he mumbled. "Everyone's asleep."

His arm slipped underneath her head, and she lifted it just a bit to let him.

"Did you sleep okay?" She asked him, but he didn't answer, just lightly running his fingers through her hair. She shifted her head a little to look up at his face. "Did you sleep at all?"

"I don't need to sleep like you do," he said, tucking her back in against him.

"That didn't answer my question," she muttered.

"Just go to sleep, Kagome." His head shifted a bit, and she could feel him breathe in deeply. Her hands shifted to hold onto his shirt, just so she'd know if he left. She didn't want him to leave. She never wanted him to go and leave her behind. She just wanted him there. He didn't even have to love her back.

But he didn't make any move to shift or leave, and so she let herself drift back off in her little nest of warm.


A/N: Not going to lie, this chapter is completely self-indulgent.

I wound up with strep and covid over the last week, and still had to go to school because admin are being their usual selves. It was not a great week. But I'm officially taking a couple days off (that were planned before all this) and I'm on the mend, so hopefully I'll get some rest in between now and Tuesday.

I hope you all enjoyed the self-indulgent snuggles, and as always let me know what you think.