Chapter 100
Ubi bene, ibi patria
"Where you feel good, there is your home."
"I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment only.
I would like to be that unnoticed
and that necessary."
—"Variation on the Word Sleep"
Kagome had fallen asleep against him in front of the fire, and he was more than willing to let her lay on him as much as she wanted to.
She shifted onto her side a little bit more, and he moved his leg to make sure that her ankle stayed propped up.
No sense in letting it swell up even more.
"I will admit, I thought she'd be more," Miroku hesitated for a moment, "upset about everything."
That had been a very real fear for him too, but she'd pulled through and didn't seem to be any worse for wear.
So she'd been a little clingy. It wasn't like he was going to complain.
Or stop her.
Or discourage it in any fashion.
Clingy Kagome might be one of his favorite versions.
He liked all the versions but sometimes he wanted pork flavored ramen over chicken.
Neither one was bad but some days required different flavors.
"Kagome's tough," he said, reaching up to push a piece of hair that was drifting over her cheek back behind her ear, letting his fingers graze her jaw.
She twisted around onto her side, tucking her face into his throat, and he just barely stifled the pleased whine in his throat.
"It's a good thing you don't have a tail," Shippo said, sipping from a cup, "or else we'd never get any sleep with it wagging all the time."
"I'm going to kick your ass, Shippo," Inuyasha whispered, just loud enough that he knew the kitsune heard him, judging from the way Shippo yelped quietly and ran to hide behind Miroku.
"Shippo, we've talked about this. I'm not going to stand in the way of Inuyasha."
"You're just afraid 'cause he hit you that one time."
Miroku snatched Shippo by the tail and tossed him towards Inuyasha.
"Here, play 'slay the kitsune,' would you?"
Inuyasha pinned Shippo's tail against the floorboards, preventing the kit from running.
"You gonna be a shit or are you going to let Kagome sleep?"
"I'm not—"
"You make me get up to kick your ass, and you're gonna wake her up."
Shippo whined, loud and high pitched. Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at the kit, who finally quit his squirming and just accepted his fate, hanging limply from where Inuyasha held his tail.
He let him go, and Shippo scampered off towards Sango, who was returning to the fire after straightening the sleeping bag and crawled into her lap.
Sango took out her mending and worked next to the fire for a piece of time.
Kirara crept over to Miroku and curled up into his lap, attempting to wiggle her way into his robes.
"Kirara, we've talked about this," he whispered, pulling her free as she trilled angrily, wriggling to climb back inside as Miroku struggled to keep her in his lap. She tried using her paws to pull on his fingers and hands as he tried to block her from climbing between the layers. "No, you're going to climb inside and then when I stand up, you're going to fall out and be mad at me and neither of us wants that." He held her up under her front legs, letting her back legs dangle a bit.
Kirara mewed sadly, body hanging limply.
Miroku set her down, and Kirara just laid limply across his lap like he'd sapped all the life from her. She mewed weakly.
"Stop that," he hissed, very lightly tapping the mark on her forehead. "You're not dying. You can lay in my lap just fine."
Another small mew.
"I'm not letting you lay in my robes again."
A mew so high pitched that Inuyasha wasn't sure if Miroku had even heard it.
"Fine," Miroku muttered, and before he could even move, Kirara was up and shoving herself into his robes, the mass of fabric shifting as she curled about.
Inuyasha snorted as Kirara trilled happily from inside the fabric den that she'd created.
"Oh please, like you're not wrapped around her finger," Miroku said, a subtle eye shift to Kagome to make his point.
"And?" Inuyasha asked, fingers still running through her hair, twisting at the end and wrapping the strands around his fingers. "Something wrong with that?"
Miroku stared at him for a moment, mouth twitching at the corners.
"No, I suppose there isn't."
Another long pause as Sango worked on her mending, and Shippo draped himself on her knee.
"Do you think we should stay another night or press onwards?" Miroku asked.
"I'd like to go if it's possible," Sango said. "I want to put as much space between us and that village as possible."
"Inuyasha?" Miroku asked, and Inuyasha scowled at the fire, watching the flames for a beat.
He wanted to go. Wanted to flee the area and get her somewhere safe. He wanted to get out of here. Take her somewhere he could trust and let her rest.
But he didn't want to rush her, make her injuries worse in his haste.
She'd already suffered so much, and he just wanted to make it easier on her.
But he agreed with Sango. The more space between them and the village the better.
"I'd like to get back as soon as possible, but," his eyes glanced down at her hair.
"We don't want to cause her further injury either. It's a question that can wait until morning as it is," Miroku said. "I was only curious as to your opinion on the subject."
Inuyasha continued playing with the strand of hair around his fingers, rolling the softness across the pads and then combing through with the tips of his claws.
It was such a small thing, but he was allowed to do it. She didn't push him away or shun him. And he was so grateful for it.
He kept saying that he'd manage to survive if she didn't want him, but he was pretty sure that was a lie he was telling himself at this point. He'd never survive without her. He needed her more than he probably should, but as long as she stayed with him—or let him stay in whatever capacity she allowed—he was fine with it.
It didn't matter that he needed her more than she needed or wanted him.
"There is a small matter that we should probably discuss," Miroku said, "but we may want to wait until we are a bit more level headed."
Inuyasha shifted his gaze to the monk, narrowing his eyes.
"About what?"
Miroku sighed heavily.
"Did you miss who the healer said prompted her to do this?"
He had, and he'd been trying to just ignore for the last twenty-four hours, but he supposed that he was doomed to fucking talk about it.
"Yeah," he sighed out.
"Your thoughts?"
He didn't really have any.
"Doesn't change anything. Kagome takes priority. You should know that."
"Yes, none of us doubted that, but I fear that we may be approaching an altercation that can not be avoided."
"Your point?" Inuyasha bit out, fingers tightening their grip on her strand of hair, though not pulling it any.
"We are only worried," Miroku hesitated, "about the both of you. We do not want to see either of you hurt."
Inuyasha shifted his gaze to Sango, who sat there—giving him a sad look.
"Shut up, the both you. We'll figure it out when we get there. Like we always do. I—I'm not going to let anything happen to her—to Kagome. So just have some faith in me, alright?"
"None of us think you will allow anyone or anything to harm her," Miroku said quietly, patting the small lump under his robes, who chirped happily. "But nonetheless, we don't wish any of this on either of you, my friend."
Kagome shifted a bit, tugging the blanket down, and he pulled it back up over her shoulder.
"It's late. I'm going to put her to bed before she gets a kink."
Miroku let out a chuckle, and Inuyasha snapped up his head to glare at him.
"What?" He asked, and Miroku only shook his head with his usual teasing grin on his face.
He could see the monk devising some sort of thought or comment in his head, and Inuyasha was not in the mood.
"What're you going to say, monk?"
"Nothing," Miroku said with a shake of his head. "Nothing at all."
Inuyasha opted to glare at the monk for a moment longer before carefully extracting himself from under Kagome and put her to bed.
He carefully picked her up from the ground, and she made a soft noise—something between a heavy sigh and a snore which was still somehow absolutely fucking adorable—but she didn't wake.
She deserved to sleep.
Moving slowly and smoothly, he moved her, lifting her from the ground and carrying her over to the sleeping bag. He slid her feet in, being overly careful of her ankle, and then she stirred, looking up at him with those doe-like eyes as he set her head down on the padded sleeping sack.
"Shit, I didn't mean to wake you," he whispered as he tugged the blanket up around her shoulders and zipped it closed.
His hands worked to tuck her into her bag, and she wriggled a bit until her hands grabbed onto his sleeve.
"Stay?" She whispered to him, and he looked down at her, staring at her doe-eyed look back at him. He couldn't focus when she was giving him that look—the one where it looked like she thought he was the undefeated champion of everything. It was like his brain just stuttered out to a stop and nothing worked like it supposed to. It made him feel impossibly large and small at the same time.
"Let me check on things, and I'll be back."
She nodded, curling up slightly in her bedding, and he quickly stood and walked around the small room that had been made for them—for her. Definitely just for her.
He was just allowed inside, and he was so happy that she let him in.
He squatted down next to Miroku.
"Yes, my friend?" Miroku asked, as Kirara let out a low rumbling purr and Miroku winced with a hard grimace on his face. "If Kirara becomes anymore content I'm afraid that she'll disembowel me."
Inuyasha stifled a laugh at the monk's discomfort, and he glanced over at the door.
"You put up protections, right?"
"I have wards up on the doorways, and I believe we will all be keeping an ear to floor in case anything should happen."
Inuyasha shook his head.
"I'll keep watch tonight," he said. "I can go longer without sleep than you two. Get your rest. You'll need it when we start back."
He rose to his feet without another word, returning back to Kagome. If she wanted him to stay with her, then he would happily sit with her, keep watch over her, and protect her with everything that he had.
She was on her side, slightly curled under the blankets, and he realized just how close things had come to being over last night.
She'd fought back with everything she had, and he was so lucky that it was enough, because he hadn't been.
And she still wanted him around.
She didn't begrudge him for letting this happen to her again.
It could've gone so wrong, and she'd proven just how strong she was.
And he was so fucking proud of her.
Words couldn't describe how fucking proud he was that she'd fought off two men the entire fucking night without him and without knowing when they would come for her.
He finally moved forward, watching her twist to face him with that look on her face—like he was some kind of hero.
And he was hardly that.
"You good? You need anything?"
Kagome shook her head, reached out towards him.
And who was he to deny her?
He motioned for her to scoot back, and she wriggled against the seam of her bag, giving him room to stretch out beside her.
He'd told himself that he would sit up and keep guard, and there was no reason that he couldn't keep watch from beside her.
He watched her face for any signs that she was uncomfortable as he stretched out on the same blanket that wrapped around her. He never wanted her to think that he would do anything like they would. He'd give as much as she wanted, and if that was less than he was willing to offer her—well, then he'd learn to cope.
When she showed no sign of unease, he carefully slid his arm underneath her head, letting her use him as a pillow, and she did—almost eagerly.
Some self-satisfied part of him was thrilled that she felt so comfortable with him that she could sleep on him and with him just right next to her.
After everything she'd gone through because he hadn't been enough, she still trusted him to keep her safe.
He carefully rested his arm over her side, and he dragged in a deep breath as she moved to rest right against him, so close that he could feel her breathe into his chest, and she just went limp against him.
He let out a breath into her hair and tugged her a little closer with the arm resting around her waist. She made a soft noise in her throat, and he tugged her in tighter as his fingers ran through her hair.
"Thank you for staying with me."
He exhaled a low hum.
"Dummy," he whispered. The thought of abandoning her was incomprehensible. Like he could just leave her anywhere. He had no intentions of leaving her anytime soon. Not until she told him to stop.
And he hoped that she never asked him to do so.
"You're the dummy," she muttered into his throat, fingers shifting a bit, and he let his fingers drift over her back, running a simple pattern through the blankets.
"You're the one who said she was tired."
Was she really going to try to argue with him over it?
"Yeah," she sighed, body slackening, and he felt his chest tighten just a bit.
"I'm so proud of you," he whispered, nose buried into her hair, and he felt her breathe soft and even. Good. She deserved to sleep. She'd fought long enough, and she'd earned it.
He stayed awake the entire night. Kagome breathed soft and even into his chest, and he listened for any sounds, any noises that might give away an enemy's approach.
He wouldn't be caught unawares twice.
He wouldn't risk losing Kagome to anything or anyone.
Never again.
He tugged her in a little closer under his chin.
Pressing her in close, he stared at the privacy screen. It was quiet enough for an inn. He dragged in another deep breath of her as he stayed awake listening.
She shifted just a bit, nose pressing in close to the soft spot of his throat.
No one seemed to understand—well, Shippo did, but even he didn't grasp the importance of the act. Inuyasha let her near his soft spots. Let her near all the places that she could do real damage if she wanted. If she had the teeth, she could rip out his throat, tear out his heart, damage his lungs so badly he wouldn't survive long enough for his body to repair itself.
As it was, she could already destroy his heart if she really wanted.
But he let her into these places, slept next to her, let her sleep next to him, use his clothes for protection, because he loved her, because he trusted her, because he knew that she'd never hurt him.
Kagome made a small noise in her throat, and he pressed his lips to the crown of her head.
"I love you," he whispered. "I'll do better, I promise."
Kagome shifted again, pressing closer to him, her nose in the hollow space of his collar bone and he could feel the soft breaths across his skin.
He let his fingers drift through her hair as he listened to the muted and quiet sounds in the room and outside.
It was so soft, and she was so soft and kind and fierce and loyal, and he'd do whatever necessary to make sure no one hurt her ever again.
A noise came from outside—the sound of a distant door sliding and then the soft padding of footsteps as they came towards their room and then continued down the hall. Letting out the breath he'd held, he continued rubbing his thumb along her lower back.
He dragged a deep breath of her, settling his nerves.
She'd woken once in the early morning hours because she'd stretched her leg wrong, and he convinced her to lay back down with him and go to sleep.
She wasn't in danger, and there were no threats, and he'd sleep at Kaede's. It was hard enough knowing that they were hunted on multiple fronts. It was bad enough when it was just Naraku. But now they've got Kikyo on their asses, Kouga waiting off in the distance somewhere far away hopefully, and a village of assholes who wanted nothing to more than to run them off.
But they had to make a choice today. Did they stay? Or did they travel?
Kagome needed to rest, but they would be safer at Kaede's. The problem was that they had to get to Kaede's, and that meant traveling out in the open where anyone and everyone could attack them, and Kagome wasn't able to readily defend herself. She couldn't draw a bow, and her ankle was hurt again, and a myriad of other things.
There were so many things that seemed to want to drive them apart, and he had no idea how to compete with the universe.
He took a deep breath of her. She was here and safe, and that was all that he could ask for and want.
He buried his nose back into her hair as she fell back asleep against him.
Miroku was the first to wake. He could hear the monk stir and groan lightly. It was quiet for just a moment and then a soft mew as he clearly disturbed Kirara.
"I told you," he whispered, and Kirara responded with a very unhappy mewl. Inuyasha bit back a snicker, glancing down at Kagome as she slept. There were soft steps as Miroku walked to the door and slipped outside.
Inuyasha sighed through his nose, letting him breathe in the scent of her. It was quiet and calm, and he should be relaxed, but it still felt like he was going to vibrate out of his skin.
Everything in him drove to ensure her safety and comfort, except he didn't know what he wanted to do to make that happen.
It was beyond infuriating.
Because he needed to know that there was something he could do to make her safe. Make sure that no one else laid their hands on her. She deserved to have a moment of peace, and he should be able to provide that for her.
Kagome stirred a bit, shifting ever so slightly and he lifted his hand to lightly scratch her scalp.
He didn't like feeling this anxious. He didn't like feeling like he couldn't take care of her like she deserved.
Why couldn't the world just let him love her?
The door slid open again and Miroku padded back inside, closing them quietly behind him.
There was a soft click, and he could feel the monk staring at him through the screens. He was not amused, and he wasn't going to make Kagome get up for shit if she was sleeping. She'd had a bad enough day yesterday, and he wasn't going to be the one to tack onto it.
The monk peered around the edge of the screen, and Inuyasha glowered as hard as he could manage, silently threatening to end his line before he'd ever gotten a chance to start it. Though the past few days proved that he'd been making an attempt at that with Sango at the very least.
"How is she?" Miroku whispered, pointing to Kagome, like there was another fucking woman here.
Inuyasha shooed him away with his hands, and Miroku—the fucking bastard—winked and gave him a thumbs up.
Like what the ever loving fuck?
He sneered at the monk's back as he disappeared from view.
Miroku placed logs back on the fire, stirring the embers, and the light slowly grew in the room.
There was a low mewl, and Miroku sighed loudly.
"I gave you my blankets," Miroku whispered, "what else do you want?"
He could hear her claws catching on fabric.
"Are you going to scratch me if I rub your belly?" A short trill. "Do not scratch me, Kirara."
Loud purring reverberated from where Miroku sat, and Inuyasha wagered he had eight or so good scratches to make before Kirara decided that she'd had enough.
He nuzzled his nose back down into her hair, breathing her in as Miroku yelped quietly and almost right on cue, as Inuyasha smirked. He ran his fingers through her hair, enjoying the quiet for the moment. Soon, he'd have to share her with everyone, and he just wasn't ready to do that just yet.
He wanted to be greedy and keep her all to himself for just a little bit longer—a few days—a year—forever.
Was forever too much to ask for?
Five minutes seemed like it was an insurmountable task these days.
He heard Sango stir and Shippo mumble something incomprehensible.
Great, everyone was going to be up and awake, and then Kagome was going to be awake and want to sit with everyone else and he'd let her because he wasn't a manipulative and controlling asshole.
Kagome shifted just a bit, pressing her face firmly against the tender space of his throat.
"Morning," Sango said quietly with a yawn. There was a quiet pause. "You tried to pet Kirara's belly, didn't you?"
"She asked me to!" Miroku whispered loudly.
"You know she's going to bite you, so why do you still do it?"
"Look at her, she's adorable! How am I supposed to say no to that face?"
He could hear Sango rolling her eyes at the monk.
"You can't just give her what she wants all the time."
"Why not? I give you what you want all the time, like the other day when I—"
"Finish that sentence, and I will do something violent."
"But I'm holding Kirara," Miroku countered.
Kagome stirred, eyelashes fluttering against he tender skin of his throat. Her fingers twitched lightly against his chest.
He could tell that she didn't want to be awake, judging by the way her face was practically trying to merge with his neck.
Letting his claws drift along the edge of her jaw, she made a grumbling whine and he placed a light kiss to her crown.
"Early," she mumbled into his neck.
"Not that early," he mumbled into her hair.
Another low whine and she wriggled closer to him, not that he minded by any means. He was happy to just lay here and lounge the day away with her if that's what she wanted from him.
"Go back to sleep if you want," he mentioned as he dragged his claws through her hair.
"I should get up," she mumbled, though she made no move to do so. His mouth quirked at how she remained wrapped in her blankets and firmly pressed against him.
He made no mention of her lack of movement, and instead, shifted so that he could gently rub her back with his fingers.
Letting out a low sigh, he could feel her almost melt into him.
"Feels good," she mumbled into his chest, and he heard the slight grumble of her stomach.
He waited for her to say something or acknowledge that she was hungry, but she didn't.
"You're hungry," he mentioned off hand to her.
"I can eat later," she said, hand shifting to wrap around his middle.
That didn't settle well with him, and he knew that he should get up and make her eat something, but at the same time, it wasn't like she was going to starve in the next few minutes.
There was that nagging sense that providing was his job, and he was not currently doing his job by ignoring her needs. He did his best to quell that voice and noise in the back of his head. He knew what he needed to do, but she also needed sleep, and if she was happy, then he was happy too.
Kagome groaned.
"Okay, we should get up," she said, but still not moving. He smiled into her hair as she kept repeating the phrase, but neglected to do anything about it.
After a long while, she pushed herself away slightly, just enough so that she wasn't pressed against him completely. He mourned the loss, eyes drifting down to stare into hers.
"You gonna get up this time or just whine about it?"
The pout that ran across her face was adorable, and he fought the urge to lean in and kiss it off her face completely.
"Rude," she commented, fingers falling to his beads and running over them.
"Come on, I'll move you over to the fire," he said, raising up onto his elbow to look down at her.
She huffed in annoyance, but still held her arms out to him.
Letting out a soft laugh, he shifted to kneel beside her and flip back all the blankets as he picked her up from the floor, and walked out into the main space.
"Good morning!" Sango said with a smile as Miroku flashed a grin up at them.
"Good morning indeed! I hope you slept well, Lady Kagome," Miroku said, rising to his feet. "I will go see about procuring breakfast here, and I will see you all in a few moments."
He gave a quick bow and then walked out the door.
Inuyasha sat Kagome beside Sango, reaching around to tuck his haori around her.
"Thanks," Kagome said.
Shippo stirred, stretching his limbs in all directions as he let out an annoyingly loud yawn.
"Are you feeling okay?" Sango asked, and Kagome smiled.
"I'm feeling better today," she answered with a smile. One that Inuyasha firmly believed was genuine.
"Morning, Kagome!" Shippo said as he jumped up towards her, pausing and leaning against her thigh as his tail wagged behind him.
"Morning, Shippo," she said, running her hands through his hair and he beamed up at her, fangs showing proudly. "Did you sleep well?"
"I had a really good dream! We were at Kaede's and there was a demon and you were there, and you too Sango, and so was Miroku and Inuyasha, and you too, Kirara, and we—" Shippo rambled, and Inuyasha watched Kagome focus on the runt's story, wholly rapt in her focus on him.
Inuyasha felt the smile spread across his face. Real and as genuine as hers.
A/N: Happy Thursday!
This chapter doesn't make much difference plot-wise, but the Miroku and Kirara scene is just too funny to pass up.
I officially filed my formal complaint at HR against my principal and other administrators, so I don't know what's going to happen, but it's done and out there. We can only hope that he reacts poorly and just adds to my case, because I'm pretty sure that he's pitted every single admin against me. It's so bad that *other* people are noticing it too.
But anyways, some more self-indulgent InuKag for all of us to help us cope.
Enjoy and let me know what you think!
