Chapter 102
Sunt lacrimae rerum
"There are tears for things"


"The soul, fortunately, has an interpreter–
often an unconscious,
but still a truthful interpreter–in the eye."
Jane Eyre


Inuyasha never considered himself a smart man. He never considered himself intelligent, actually.

He knew he wasn't dumb, but he was smart enough to realize how much he didn't understand in the world.

Namely, people.

That was why unless shit needed to be taken care of, he let the monk handle the people portion of their group.

Inuyasha knew he'd fuck it up more than he'd help, which was why he only interjected when he deemed it necessary.

Inuyasha knew when to keep quiet, believe it or not. He also knew when keeping quiet wasn't going to solve matters.

They left the village at a normal pace, and he hoped that they'd leave their struggles behind them.

But even he wasn't that hopeful or naive.

Kagome had been fine—fine!—until they'd gone to leave.

He'd wanted to go, sure, but when she'd agreed as well, he'd thought that everything would've been fine.

Honestly, he didn't know why he didn't know better by this point. Nothing ever went smoothly for him.

And it seemed like everything in existence was damned determined to try and push him away from Kagome.

But he knew what he wanted, and he wanted her and he was going to fucking get what he wanted for once in his damned life.

So when she'd acted like she was going to climb down and walk on her own, he'd gripped her legs tighter and held her closer to him. Because those assholes had already done a number on her ankle and he wasn't about to let her make it worse.

While he would never wish her harm or even consider the option, he also didn't exactly mind that he got to hold her the entire time and all the time while her ankle was healing.

But that little bitch fit earlier made everyone raise their eyebrows.

She was mad about something, even though he had no clue what she was suddenly so pissed about. At least Miroku and Sango seemed to be just as confused as he was judging by the raised eyebrows and concerned looks that they shared between them.

But she seemed to have settled down a bit and was no longer shifting madly in his grip.

He glanced down at her, and he wanted to prod and pester until she told him what was up and what she needed—so he could fucking fix it like a good—uh—friend—he wasn't going to press, even though it pissed him off not to ask about it.

It had been a harrowing twenty-four hours and he wasn't going to be the thing that added to it.

So he'd just walk in silence too, and let her stew and figure it out and when she was ready to talk to him, then he'd be right there and all ears.

He just had to wait.

And be patient.

His specialty.


It was past lunchtime when they decided to stop for a break, and Kagome hadn't said a single thing to him.

They found a defensible clearing—which might've been the reason behind their delayed stop—and Shippo was the first to leap off and go find branches and sticks for a fire. Miroku quickly offered to go help, and Inuyasha found a grassy spot that looked like it was getting some decent sun that would keep her warm in the chilling air.

While it wasn't cold out per se, it was definitely on the horizon, and he'd wager that it wouldn't be to long now before they saw their first snow.

His ears pricked forward at the sounds of the woods around them, taking them in and ensuring that the group was safe.

Setting her on the ground, he let his arms and hands slide out from under her, letting her rest on the sun-warmed grass.

He turned to get a bottle of water out of her pack and a sob broke out of her.

His head snapped back towards her, eyes widening as Kagome fully broke down into a crying mess, and he had no fucking idea why.

"Ka—Kagome?" He asked, hands unsure of where to go for comforting.

"I'm sorry!" She blurted out in a sharp shout, and he physically reeled back at the volume of her voice.

"Wha—?"

He found himself looking at Sango who was just as surprised and bug-eyed as he was.

Kagome's sudden lunge towards him caught him off guard, knocking him over from his kneeling position and sending him flat back on his ass.

His arms wrapped around her, hand covering the back of her neck and head as she pressed her face into his collarbone and her arms tightened their hold around his chest.

His other arm braced the both of them before slowly wrapping around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, but quieter this time.

"Kagome?" Sango asked her, moving to slowly kneel beside the openly sobbing girl.

"I'm so sorry!"

"What are you sorry about?"

Another loud body-wracking sob, and Inuyasha winced, curling his body just a little—just enough to embrace her fully and wrap himself around her.

He had no clue what the fuck was wrong, but she was apologizing to him, so at least he hadn't been the fuck up for once.

"I just—I'm sorry!"

"Sorry for what?" Sango asked, and Inuyasha let his claws lightly scratch her scalp through her hair.

"I yelled at you!" She wailed. "And I didn't mean it!"

Inuyasha's gaze shifted over to the slayer, who was frowning, which was good, because he didn't think that yelling at them would send her into a crying jag like this one.

She should've just apologized, they all accepted it, and they moved on none the worse for wear.

But this?

A full on meltdown?

Shit, Shippo hadn't had one of those in months.

So why was Kagome having one right now or something entirely insignificant?

"You yelled at us?" Sango asked, head tilting to the side a bit as she thought. "You mean at the inn this morning?"

Kagome nodded into his chest, still not letting go or looking at anything or anyone.

She took in a gasping breath before sobbing again.

"Kagome, no one's upset about that."

"Why're you crying?" Inuyasha asked.

"I don't—I yelled at you!"

"So? I fucking yell at Sango all the time when she's being a shit, and you don't see her bawling about it."

Sango glared at him and lightly punched him in the shoulder.

"Kagome, no one is mad at you."

A loud rustle that sounded like an explosion happening in the middle of the woods and then Miroku appeared with an armful of sticks and limbs.

"We heard crying!" His eyes fell on Kagome's sprawled form. "Ah," Miroku said, clearing his throat. "We'll just leave this," he dropped the armful of sticks on the ground in front of him, "here, and Shippo and I will go find some water."

"But—" Shippo interjected.

"We're going to find water," Miroku insisted. "Because you're a child and need to not interrupt."

"Oh, is this one of those 'adult times' that you and Sango have when you tell me I have to stay inside even though I tell you that I'll be good and you still won't let me go?"

Sango's face turned so red that Inuyasha was concerned that she might actually burst into flames considering he could feel the heat radiating from her face from where he sat.

Sango's gaze met his, and she burned brighter.

"They'll need bowls—bottles—things for the water," she rambled, rising up, stumbling awkwardly for her backpack and then he watched Sango practically bolt into the trees.

Sure, that's fine. It wasn't like they'd been attacked relentlessly in the present past or anything, so yeah, just fucking bolt why don't you?

Looking back at the girl, he sighed heavily as she cried against him.

"Hey," he whispered, attempting to draw her back into conversation, but she just clutched onto him tighter. "No one's mad, dummy."

He sighed heavily as he lightly rubbed her back.

Sango reappeared at the edge of the trees, having regained some fucking common sense, standing off to the side as Kagome continued to cry.

"Hey," he said, pulling the hair away from her face, so he could try to see some of her. Her cries had every part of him on edge. She wasn't happy, and he knew that she wasn't happy, but he didn't know how to fix it, and right now something told him to go get food, another told him a safe haven, water, maybe she needed to sleep, and he didn't know which voice to listen to at the moment.

Sango quietly moved to her pack and began getting out lunch as Kagome began to quiet down on her sobbing.

Did he just ask her what had her so upset? Just point-blank like that?

Maybe he should just let her cry it out, no matter how much he actually hated to hear it.

"What're you blubbering about?" He asked, hoping that she'd at least admonish him for his word choice.

"I'm sorry," she cried, and he let out a long exasperated breath.

"We already told you, no one's mad about it, so why are you crying about it?"

"I—I," she started, sniffling as she tried to get the words out. "I don't know."

He could see the tears welling up in her eyes again.

Maybe she wasn't doing as great as they all thought she was.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again.

"Stop it," he told her. "You got nothing to apologize for."

"But—" she squeaked as he tugged her ear lightly.

"You've done jack shit to anyone who didn't deserve it. Those fuckers were assholes and got what they deserved. you wanted to leave and so did everyone else. You didn't make us do anything that we didn't already want to do. And if you'd wanted to stay? Guess what, Sango could just fucking deal with it, so stop—" he lightly tapped her temple with his finger, "crying."

She sniffled.

"As much as it pains me to say it, Inuyasha is right, Kagome." He glared at Sango, who glared right back. "If you want to stay somewhere, you only have to ask."

Shippo bounded through the underbrush, exploding through the bushes with Miroku hissing at him just off in the distance.

"Kagome!" Shippo shouted. "I brought you flowers!"

"I would like everyone to know that I tried," Miroku said, climbing out of the underbrush slightly slower than Shippo's maniacal entrance.

He skidded to a stop in front of her, holding out a bundle of flowers.

Kagome's smile wavered just a bit as she looked at him and his hastily plucked flowers. The sprint hadn't done them any favors as a few were now little more than sprigs and stems.

But he'd gone through all the trouble, and clearly, he just wanted to make her feel better at the end of it, and she reached a hand out and took them as he beamed up at her, fangs flashing and tail swishing.

"Thanks, Shippo. They're really pretty."

Shippo leaned up to her, and she reached and arm out for a hug, even as she supported herself against his chest.

His tiny ass arms wrapped around her neck, and he whispered, "if you ask Inuyasha, he'll say that you're prettier."

"Oi, runt!" Inuyasha said, and Shippo disappeared from view, taking off across the clearing with a laugh. "Little shit," Inuyasha grumbled, glaring at the kitsune, and she leaned back ever so slightly to see him.

The little shit wasn't wrong, but he didn't have to say it.

She was always pretty.

"What did you do?" Miroku asked Shippo in a hushed voice, bringing over the rest of the wood to begin the fire. "Start this and only this," he told Shippo, pointing to the wood pile.

"You know the bigger a fire, the faster the food cooks," Shippo stated.

"No, the bigger the fire, the faster it burns," Miroku corrected as Shippo used his fox fire to start the campfire and Sango helped bring over the pots and packets.

They murmured quietly to themselves, and Kagome pushed herself up a little to wipe her eyes.

Sango was telling him what had happened and to keep a watch on Kagome, like he wasn't capable of doing the job.

Inuyasha made sure to help her sit up to minimize the strain on her shoulder, and she clutched onto the flowers in her palm.

"Sorry for all that," she whispered.

"Don't bother," he told her, moving with her to help support her. "Ain't like you wouldn't have done the same if Sango was bawling her eyes out for whatever reason," he muttered.

She let out a laugh, wiping her eyes with her fingers and then giving him a real smile—not one that trembled under strain and weights, but a real one—soft and steady and bright.

Those smiles made him want to smile too.

Miroku and Sango made lunch quickly, handing him the cups and sitting down beside them.

Kagome stayed in the little circle of his legs, letting his body break the cold and wind and give her a reprieve against the weather. And he was happy to let her.

"Do you think that you'll be okay to travel soon?" Miroku asked as he tossed his cup into the fire.

"Yeah," she answered, and everyone gave her a questioning look. "I mean it, I'm ready to go."

Inuyasha handed his cup off to Miroku, who threw it into the fire, that had gotten suspiciously higher since it started.

Inuyasha's gaze shifted over to the kit, who was taking his own cup to the fire and throwing it in, as he glanced over at the group, and Inuyasha caught the look in his eye.

"The fire's big enough, runt," Inuyasha snapped out, and Shippo flinched.

"I wasn't going to do anything bad!" He argued. "It burns faster, and—and—Kagome looked cold!"

"She's fine! She's got me!" Inuyasha snapped back, and he saw the smug look pass over Miroku's face as Inuyasha gave him just the right opening for whatever lewd thoughts decided to pour out of that mouth of his.

"I wasn't aware that Kagome liked dog-skinned blankets," Miroku commented, and Inuyasha leaned forward, swiping at him as Miroku leaned away and laughed.

"You know a guard dog is only as good as the distance its willing to run, and you look pretty comfortable," Sango said, and he snarled at her.

To which the bitch laughed at him.

He cracked his knuckles, extending his claws, thoroughly prepared to give the slayer a good fight to burn some of the snark out of her.

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked, and his ears flicked to her a half moment before his face did.

"What?" He asked, fingers relaxing as he refocused himself onto her.

"Do you think that we can go soon?"

"Yeah," he said, ears pricking forward as he looked around to the rest of the group. "You guys ready?"

"Is something bothering you, Kagome?" Sango asked, and Inuyasha noted the way that her eyes would dart around as if expecting something to burst out of the bushes.

"No," she answered with a slight shake of her head. "I just thought it was a good idea to head out if we were ready."

Inuyasha didn't sense anything, but that didn't mean that it wasn't out there. His eyes flicked over to the monk, who seemed to be surveying the area in his own way.

"Well, if the lady is ready, who are we to deny her?" Miroku said with a sharp smile.

Inuyasha turned back towards Kagome as Miroku and Sango prepared to climb onto Kirara with Shippo in tow.

He lifted Kagome up carefully.

"I can try to ride on your back. I'm sure that's easier for you."

"You calling me weak, woman?" He scoffed. "It ain't like I'm lugging around a boulder or anything."

"I don't sense anything," Miroku stated, voice low as he climbed onto the back of Kirara. Low enough that Kagome wouldn't be able to hear him speak. "But let us hope that it is merely nerves and not an enemy we are unprepared to face."

Inuyasha hefted her up closer to him.

He didn't want to face anything right now. Least of all anything that had to do with Kikyo.

Kagome wasn't in any state for combat, and people just kept fucking taking her away, and it was really starting to piss him off.

Like he might actually gut the next person who tried to steal her away.

She was the one nice thing in his life, and he wasn't going to give her up so easily.

He could be a stubborn jackass when he wanted, believe it or not.

Inuyasha leapt up into the trees, following Kirara's lead. Kagome shifted a bit as he ran until her head leaned against his shoulder.

"You good?" He asked her, and she nodded against him.

"I'm fine," she answered, keeping her face where he couldn't look down at her.

But he didn't really think that was the case, but he didn't have the wherewithal to fight her on it either.

He just wanted to get to an inn, feed her, and warm her up—keep her warm—no—aw, fuck.

He honestly didn't know if he could ever go back to sleeping alone up in a tree. That would be akin to torture now.

He knew that he had to. He knew that it was for the safety of the group and keeping everyone—including her—safe as he could.

But fuck him if the thought of spending an entire night alone—in a tree—and it would probably be fucking chilly too—didn't sound like someone trying to come up with the worst possible punishment for him.

Leaping up through the canopy, he did a quick surveillance glance and then let himself fall back to the open clearing and continuing to follow Kirara.

"Are you okay with this?" Kagome asked, and the question nearly made him miss his footing, which hopefully she didn't notice.

"Okay about what?"

"I don't know. The whole thing? Staying at an inn? Having to carry me all the time?"

"Idiot," he told her, "you think you're heavy or something?"

"Not necessarily, but even a small weight gets tiring after a while."

"You ain't heavy, Kagome," he reiterated. "If you weren't here squawking out dumb ass questions, then I'd barely know you where there."

She opened her mouth to speak, but he interrupted her to keep her from spouting more dumbassery.

"And if I'd cared about sleeping outside so much, don't you think I would? None of those fuckers could keep me inside if they wanted too."

"But I could," she answered quietly, fingers reaching up to play with his beads.

"Yeah, if you wanted to, but you aren't going to force me to do that. You haven't even sat me in a while."

"I sat you at the other inn."

"Yeah, but that's because you were being dumb about dumb shit."

"I wasn't being dumb."

He gave her a side eyed glare as he rounded a tree and leapt back up into the canopy.

"You say all sorts of dumb shit all the time."

"I do not!" She said, giving his beads a soft tug, showing her agitation at him, and he grinned.

She huffed, crossing her arms in front of her, but it didn't take long before they were back to touching his haori or curling around the smooth beads that hung around his neck.

Once they had felt like a noose, now they felt like an anchor, drawing him closer and closer to her.


They landed at the edge of a village. Close enough that the walk would be brisk, but not so close that they'd attract any unwarranted attention before they'd even set foot inside the village itself.

Taking a breath, Inuyasha felt Kagome lean up a bit more to look at their surroundings.

Kirara transformed with Sango putting her up and holding her as they started to walk into the village.

Inuyasha followed a step behind them, and he could hear the questions already forming on their lips.

Who were they?

What did they want?

Why did they have so many creatures with them?

Who was the girl in strange clothes?

Miroku asked random villagers if there was an inn. One said yes, the other said no. Which meant that they probably wouldn't be welcomed at all.

Well, less 'they' and more 'him'. The kit was cute enough the he could probably weasel his way inside. Inuyasha would have to just sneak his way back in.

Because like fuck was he sleeping outside.

There was a brief moment of marvel at the notion that he had moved beyond such necessities like sleeping outside while traveling, but to be fair, it was only that Kagome would not be there within his view. And if anyone asked, that was his sole reason for it. He just needed to make sure she was safe and not actively being kidnapped.

Miroku asked a couple more villagers, giving them small blessings that may or may not have been real.

They maneuvered around the village streets, and while the conversations never grew more than just some investigative questions, it still irked him.

Even though he knew that he shouldn't be.

By the time they found the inn, Inuyasha felt like all his nerves had been rubbed raw by irritation.

He didn't like the questions, and he didn't like the stares, and he really just wanted to not be around people.

But Miroku had come out after securing them a room, and they quickly moved into the small space.

"Fortunately, they were very open to a free room, if we would handle some small pests they've been having. From the feel of it, it seems to be a small nest of rats."

"Kirara, do you want to go have some fun?"

The cat trilled, tails flicking, and Sango looked at him.

"Are you going to be alright by yourself?"

"Why're you asking me?"

Miroku rubbed his face with his hand.

"I think we should be more concerned with him behaving himself," he muttered behind his hand.

"You wanna say that to my face, monk?"

"What did he say?" Kagome asked, head turning between the two of them.

"Bullshit, like always."

"Come on, Miroku. You too Shippo," Sango said, pushing him towards the door.

"Why do I have to go too?" Shippo whined.

"Because you have too much energy at night. Don't think I haven't felt your little burrowing sessions."

"Aww," Shippo whined as Miroku grabbed him by the vest and hauled him up.

"Go before you really make him mad and then I have to clean up the mess."

"You honestly don't think I'd win?"

At that, both Sango and Inuyasha laughed.

"You'd hardly stand a chance," Sango commented as they walked away.

Inuyasha glared at the door for another moment before Kagome's fingers at his jaw drew him back in.

"You okay?" She asked, eyes staring up at his face.

"Keh, fine," he answered, turning back to the room and her pack. He sat her next to the fire pit and started arranging the wood to light the fire. The room wasn't cold, but it wasn't warm either, and it needed a fire in it.

Kagome dug her matches out and handed him the box. He struck it, letting it fall onto the kindling underneath and watching it take successfully.

"There," he muttered. "You need anything?" He asked her.

"Some water?" She asked, looking up at him. He could do that. He could do that easy.

Leaning just past her, he pulled the bottle free from her pack, pulling back just enough so that he could see her, and let her grab the bottle herself.

His face was way too close to be considered safe. Way too close, and he wanted to do nothing more than lean in and just feel like what her lips felt like pressed against his own.

He should.

He should do it.

Just a little one.

See if he even liked it.

He may not.

Maybe it's gross.

He inhaled slowly, letting nothing more than Kagome fill every part of his lungs as she took the bottle from his hands.

He took a deep breath, and the door jerked open, sending him nearly sprawling backwards.

"Hey Inuyasha!" Shippo said, trotting inside. "Miroku said that you had all his ofuda."

"Why the fuck would I have the monk's fucking ofuda?"

Shippo tilted his head.

"Yeah, I thought that was weird too." Shippo said, tapping a clawed finger against his chin. "I mean, you carry Kagome, but you don't carry anything else."

"Shippo," he growled, fingers cracking, "I swear, if you don't run back to the monk right now, we'll be eating fox for dinner."

Shippo squawked and darted behind Kagome as Inuyasha reached for his tail.

"Don't you dare hide behind her!" Inuyasha snarled, sliding on the floor as he lunged for the fox.

Kagome giggled, hand covering her mouth as she watched the two of them. Finally, Shippo skidded outside the door, and Inuyasha slammed the door closed behind him, huffing indignantly.

He turned to look at Kagome, who was practically grinning, the bruise across her cheek seeming to fade in the radiance of her smile.

He stared at her for a moment, and she let her hand fall away from her mouth as she began unscrewing the cap from the bottle.

It took several moments, but he eventually found his voice.

"You wanna work on that school shit?"

"I probably should," Kagome started to twist around to dig through her pack and the wince on her face kickstarted his brain.

"Here, lemme do that," he said, walking towards her and kneeling down next to the pack. He knocked her hand away.

"Do you even know what I was planning on studying?" She asked him as he pushed her hand away again.

"Something in a book?" He snorted as he pulled out her workbooks and the little bag of scribbling sticks.

"You change your mind all the time anyway," he said, pulling out a couple of large books to set beside her. Quickly stabbing at the fire to get it higher, he scooped her up, setting her in his lap and wrapping his arms around her middle as he held her.

She said nothing but leaned forward to grab one book from the pile. She opened up, leaning back against him and shifting a bit.

Leaning forward, he rested his chin on her shoulder and heard her sigh softly.

The fingers of her free hand came up and lightly scratched at his jaw, and he leaned into her touch without thinking.

"Don't let anyone tell you that you're not sweet."

"I'm not sweet," he mumbled, refusing to pull away from the light drag of her fingernails against his skin.

"You are to me."

He didn't bother to acknowledge this with a remark and instead just grunted and kept himself still for fear of losing her touch, her smell, and just her.


A/N: Happy Thursday! It's our 'fall break,' and somehow I'm more stressed out about life than I was before break. 😂😂

I hope that you enjoyed the chapter, and as always, let me know!