Chapter 117
Ubi concordia, ibi victoria
"Where there is unity, there is the victory"
"What I've started I must finish.
I've gone too far to turn back.
Regardless of what may happen,
I have to go forward."
—The Neverending Story
Kagome felt impossibly light. Inuyasha loved her, and he'd said it in exactly those words.
He loved her. Not Kikyo, not anyone, just her.
He loved Kagome, and it was all that she could do to just bask in it.
They were still on the ground, and he was holding her close to him, like she'd disappear if he let go too soon.
They were lying under the branches of Goshinboku, and she took a deep breath, rubbing her cheek against his fire rat and him.
If he hadn't been lightly rubbing her back with his fingers, she would've thought that he was asleep.
But Kagome couldn't sleep. There were too many questions.
How long had he really loved her?
Was it a thing after Kikyo said she didn't love him?
Had he loved her for longer than that?
Love to him meant the same thing as her love, right?
If Kikyo changed her mind, would he leave?
Did he want to tell the others?
Did she want to tell the others?
"You're thinking too loud again," Inuyasha said softly, fingers rubbing her back gently. "I can practically smell it."
"You can not," she mumbled into his chest.
"You don't know what I can smell."
"I know you can't smell that."
"Like I said, you don't know what I can and can't smell."
Kagome shifted so that she was staring up at him, well, the bottom of his jaw at least.
"I know you can't smell when I'm thinking."
He hummed a bit, a deep rumbling in his chest.
"Maybe, but maybe I can hear it. It sounds squeaky."
Kagome scoffed at that, shoving his side slightly.
"Maybe that's your brain, because it's not used to being used that often."
Inuyasha shifted a bit to look down at her.
"Are you saying that I don't think often?"
"I don't know, am I?"
His eyes narrowed at her, and he opened his mouth to say something when his ears flicked in the direction of the village.
"Miroku and Sango are coming," he said, turning his head slightly in that direction.
Kagome sat up slowly, and Inuyasha rose to offer her support. His hands still remained at her back, even as they both sat there under the tree together.
"I guess we should go back, huh?" She asked him, trying to feel out how he felt about this whole thing. Did he want to keep it a secret?
Did he want anyone else to know?
Inuyasha was intensely private, though that wasn't exactly new to her, but she didn't want to push him into something that he wasn't ready for.
Not when she wasn't sure herself.
Inuyasha rose to his own feet, and Kagome started to push herself up, only to find that he was already lifting her effortlessly to her own.
He stood there, hands on her sides, staring at her.
"Do you want to walk back on your own?" His ears swiveled back against his head, and he looked off to the side a bit.
She'd kind of assumed that he'd at least want to walk back with her, but maybe that was thinking a little too highly of herself.
"If you don't want to walk back with me, you don't have to."
His ears perked forward, and his head tilted as he stared, eyes narrowing at her.
"That isn't what I said!" He snapped out, and Kagome jerked slightly at the fervency of his words. "Do you want to walk, or do you want me to carry you?"
"Oh," Kagome whispered, staring up at Inuyasha's face, who was still scowling at her. "Can I walk?"
He raised an eyebrow at that.
"I don't know. Can you?"
"Jerk," she said, shoving his arm, before leaning in to wrap her arms around his middle. He hugged her back, placing a kiss to the top of her head.
"Dummy," he muttered into her hair.
"We should go," she mumbled into his chest, not really wanting to leave.
Part of it was fear, concern that everything would slip off and go back to the way things were. That the moment that they left the woods, the world would seep between them, separating them to what they were before this.
It wasn't a rational fear, and Kagome knew this.
Inuyasha wasn't a wishy-washy person. He'd never pretended to be something that he wasn't in the entire time that she'd known him.
Kagome pulled back a bit, and Inuyasha let her, looking down at her as she looked up at him. She knew him. Really knew him. Knew him better than she might even know herself.
So why was this so hard to accept?
She'd always thought that she'd feel so happy about him saying that he loved her, that he wanted Kagome over anyone else, but instead, it was—it was—it was scary actually.
She'd spent so long convincing herself that this would never happen, but she'd never considered that it possibly could and what she should do if it ever did.
She'd never thought that she'd be both happy and terrified when the moment came.
She turned towards the path and took a couple small steps, looking back at him to see if he would follow. He didn't, instead remaining standing where he was, and looking down the other path.
"Are you coming?" She asked him quietly.
"Thought we were going to meet Miroku and Sango?" Inuyasha asked with a slight head tilt.
Kagome blinked at him, pointing to the trail that she was heading on, and Inuyasha pointed to the trail going the roundabout way towards the village.
"Oh," was all she whispered, watching the corners of Inuyasha's mouth quirk up a little.
"Come on, you dummy," he said, holding his hand out to her. She reached out, and he snatched it, tugging her close. He pressed a kiss to her hair, guiding her down the pathway.
Kagome walked beside him, and he looped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into him.
"See, Sango? I told you everything was fine," Miroku said as they came into view. "Absolutely, nothing to worry about."
"They've been gone for hours," Sango countered, walking over to her. "Are you sure that you should be walking this much?"
"Oh, I haven't been walking the whole time," Kagome told her.
"Aha!" Miroku said with a finger jabbed right at Inuyasha's face, making Kagome jerk back a little at the force of it. "I knew it!"
"You know jack shit, monk," Inuyasha said, swatting Miroku's finger away.
"Come on, Kagome," Sango said, catching her hand and drawing her away from the two men. "Let them be idiots."
"What's Miroku talking about?" Kagome asked, as Sango drew her away down the path.
"No, I do know!" Miroku said before saying something in hushed whispers that made Inuyasha's face blaze bright red.
"I—We—!" His voice strangled off into a garbled mess of sounds that resembled nothing like actual words.
"What's Miroku going on about?"
"He had a theory that I told him was idiotic, but he refused to listen."
Inuyasha stared at Miroku, slack jawed.
"Come, Kaede is almost done with dinner," Sango said, tugging her farther along. Kagome twisted her head a little to look back at Inuyasha, but all she could see is a lot of hand gestures and a few of those appeared to be wholly inappropriate. "Are you sure that your ankle isn't bothering you?"
"It feels okay," she said, and it was true. Her ankle really was feeling better, but she knew that she was on the cusp of overdoing it.
She and Sango continued to walk back towards Kaede's hut as the boys argued behind them.
"Sango!" Inuyasha bellowed. "Come make Miroku shut up!"
"No one knows how to do that," Sango commented, tugging Kagome's arm a little closer to her as they walked.
"Hey! Where are you going with Kagome?!" Inuyasha shouted at them.
"I'm walking her back to Kaede's. What does it look like?"
"That is my job!"
"Your job is dealing with Miroku!" She shouted back at him.
"I don't want to deal with Miroku!"
"Well," Sango hesitated as they kept walking, "tough!"
Kagome could hear Inuyasha say something, but she wasn't sure what exactly.
"It's about time that I got to have you to myself for a bit," Sango huffed. "Inuyasha acts like he gets all your time and attention. It's rude."
Kagome looked over at Sango, who looked annoyed.
"We should go to the hot springs without the both of them. Just us girls," she tilted her head a bit. "And Kirara."
"Kagome isn't going anywhere without me!" Inuyasha shouted.
"Honestly, we need to have a little privacy, so we can have some girl talk."
"That would be nice," Kagome said quietly as they walked slowly. "Sitting in a hot spring would probably feel good on my ankle."
Inuyasha appeared at her side, landing just beside them without warning.
"I can take you after dinner if you want."
"You're not welcome in the hot spring," Sango said pointedly. "It's girls only."
"Hot springs are not for girls only!"
"When's the last time you bathed anyway?" Sango asked him, and Inuyasha visibly recoiled.
"I bathe!"
"When?"
"Enough!"
Sango raised her brow at that.
"Kagome doesn't mind!" He shouted, shifting to look her in the face, a look of hesitancy written across his features. "Right?"
"You smell fine, Inuyasha," Kagome told him, and she could see some of the tension seep out of him.
"Ha! See? Kagome thinks I smell good!"
"She didn't say good, just that you didn't smell bad!"
"Same thing!"
"Not the same thing!"
"Yeah, well, you and Miroku both smell like rut."
Inuyasha barely ducked under Sango's swing as he let out a harsh laugh.
"You'll have to do better than that, Sango!"
With a growl, Sango let go of Kagome to throw a kick at Inuyasha, who leapt back, springing off his hands and landing in a crouch.
"Come, my dear lady," Miroku said with a sigh, as he gently grabbed Kagome's elbow, "I fear that dinner will be cold before those two stop going at each other's necks."
"But—"
"Ssh," Miroku shushed her, "he'll figure it out before we make it back to Kaede's soon enough." Miroku let Kagome lean on his arm as they walked back to Kaede's hut.
Kagome's ankle was starting to twinge just a bit, but she wanted to complete her walk. Just to prove that she could do something for herself. At least Miroku was walking slowly back to Kaede's.
"How is your ankle faring?" Miroku asked.
"I can make it back to Kaede's," she answered, and Miroku hummed just a bit.
"Hmm, that implies that you won't make it much farther than Kaede's."
Kagome refused to look up at Miroku, and instead stared at the ground with all the effort she had left in her.
"I'm sure that our dear friend wouldn't mind carrying you the rest of the way."
"No, I can do it," she said, still refusing to look at him.
"I have no doubt that you can do it," Miroku said. "I am merely asking if you should do it. You are only just starting to walk on your ankle again. I'm sure that you don't want to take a step backwards from all the progress that you've made."
Kagome looked up at Miroku, who stared out at the path before them.
"I suppose not," she muttered.
"Well, then, I think that perhaps once we get to Kaede's you should keep your foot propped up for the rest of the night. Let our dear hanyou friend wait on you. It'll burn up some of that energy he's had pent up for the past few days. Perhaps then I can spend some time with my lovely wife."
"Sango isn't your wife yet," she commented with a small smile on her face.
"No, not yet, but she will be," he sighed. "I like to look towards the future now. It gives me hope."
Kagome glanced up at him, seeing the soft smile on his face.
Compared to the monk that she'd first met, he'd changed a lot. He was much happier and almost carefree, even though the void in his hand still threatened his future, he no longer treated it like a death sentence.
There was a flare of youki, and Kagome glanced over her shoulder.
"Ah, yes, I was wondering how long it would take him to realize that we'd wandered off."
"Where do you think you're going?" Inuyasha snapped out as he landed in front of Miroku, tugging her arm free.
"We're going to Kaede's," Kagome said, pointing her finger down the path.
"Well," Inuyasha said, shifting her hand to his arm, "you could've waited."
"You were busy fighting with Sango, and Miroku offered to walk back with me."
Inuyasha let out a huff of irritation as he walked towards Kaede's with her.
"Where's Sango?"
"She's coming," Inuyasha looked over his shoulder at the couple behind him. "It just takes Sango longer, because she's out of shape!" He shouted.
He reached back, grabbing the rock that would've nailed him in the head.
"Ha!" He wiggled it between his fingers like a trophy before flicking off the path and into the trees.
There was a growl behind them, and Kagome could hear Miroku placating Sango into not murdering Inuyasha.
"How's the leg?" Inuyasha asked, and the taunting expression had disappeared as he looked down at her, studying her gait and each step she made.
"I can make it back to Kaede's," she started, "but I think that might be all the walking for today."
His eyes flicked up to hers, and he stared just for a moment.
"Probably a good idea," he stated, almost matter-of-factly. "I can help the hag with her chores and what not."
Kagome nodded, shifting to rest her head on his shoulder, as she felt his other hand come up to rest on hers.
Kagome stepped into the hut to see Kaede stirring the pot over the coals.
"Ah, it is good to see ye," she said with a smile.
Inuyasha wasted no time in ushering her to a cushion against the wall and promptly settling her onto it.
"You good? Anything hurting?"
"I'm fine," Kagome told him, and he gave her a curt nod before rising up to his feet.
"Stay there then." He turned and went to Kaede's stack of dishes and began grabbing what they would need for dinner.
"Kagome?" Shippo asked from across the room. His tail flicked nervously, twitching quickly back and forth quickly. She tilted her head at his question, and he crept forward on all fours, looking like he'd scatter if she so much as moved the wrong way.
"What is it, Shippo?" She asked, watching him. He looked every bit like Buyo when he'd done something he wasn't supposed to. She held her hand out to him, and he crept under it with the top of his head brushing under the backs of her fingers. Slowly rotating her hand, she let her fingers run through his hair as he lightly rested his hands on her knee.
She scratched his scalp, and his tail flicked twice.
"Are you mad at me?" He whispered.
"Why would I be mad at you?"
"Because I told everyone you went out alone?"
Kagome sighed. That really hadn't been her finest moment.
"I'm not mad at you, Shippo."
"Really? You mean it?"
"Of course, I mean it."
There was a high pitched whine, and Shippo launched himself into her side, even though he barely jostled her at all.
Sango and Miroku walked in a moment later, stepping in to help Inuyasha, and shoo Kaede away to her seat.
Inuyasha handed her a bowl of stew over rice, and then promptly grabbed Shippo's tail and dragged him away from her side before shoving a bowl of food in front of him.
"Go eat," he ordered, and Shippo started to move towards the empty spot next to her, but Inuyasha let out a sharp and short growl.
"But you get to sit by her all the time!"
There was a stare off between the two of them, and Shippo huffed before shifting over to the other side of her leg and plopping down.
After grabbing his own bowl, Inuyasha shoved his own cushion over with his foot so that it was touching hers before sitting down and shooting an annoyed glare at Shippo, before taking a large bite of his meal.
Kagome took her own small bite, and it felt like both Shippo and Inuyasha were not so discreetly eying her eating habits.
"What?" She asked, and Shippo just doubled down on chewing and staring at his own bowl of food.
Inuyasha just snorted a bit at her question, refusing to meet her gaze.
"I have heard ye have had quite a time of things since I last saw ye," Kaede stated, and Kagome felt every bite of food turn to rocks on their way down.
Inuyasha's hand lightly came to rest on her thigh, and she turned to look at him.
How was she supposed to tell Kaede everything?
Kaede loved her sister! How could Kagome stand to ruin that image of her?
"What do you know already?" Inuyasha asked.
"Only the barest of details. You encountered my sister a few times on this excursion, and that Kagome has injured her ankle."
"Oh, and Kouga!" Shippo added, and Kagome cringed a bit at that. Inuyasha's fingers gently gripped her leg, and she found her appetite for anything had disappeared entirely.
There was a moment of complete silence in the hut, and Kagome felt the need to stand up and start cleaning or setting out bedding or something—anything to alleviate the silence in the room. Except Inuyasha kept a firm hand on her leg that prevented her from doing anything of the sort.
"Ah, I assume that this meeting did not go well?" Kaede asked, and Kagome couldn't decide if she wanted to clean or curl up into a ball and hide.
"It did not," Miroku added. "There have been some complications in our hunt for the shards."
"Perhaps this should be a conversation for after dinner then," Kaede said, shooting Kagome a look before turning back towards the rest of the group. "Whatever it is, I will not be mad at ye, Kagome, so eat ye's dinner before the dog decides to feed you himself."
Inuyasha growled at her, and Kagome looked up at him.
"I'm really not that—"
"Tough shit," Inuyasha snapped out before she could finish her sentence. "You're eating that whole bowl, or I'll shove it down your throat."
He removed his hand from her leg and took a large bite of his own meal, glaring at her the entire time.
It was a long moment before she felt safe enough to take a bite of food and not fear that it would come back up a moment later.
"So Lady Kaede, tell us what has been happening in the village since we've been gone?" Miroku asked, and Kaede took the baited question without hesitation.
The distraction gave Kagome some ease, and she ate slowly with Shippo leaning firmly against her leg.
Inuyasha rose partway through her meal to refill his own bowl and gave Shippo a half serving while he was up.
Kagome watched him as he returned to sit beside her.
"What?" He asked her quietly, and she could only smile up at him as she took another bite.
After dinner, Kagome could no longer avoid the conversation that she knew had to happen. Kaede deserved to know what happened to her sister, but Kagome didn't want to damage that view Kaede had of Kikyo either.
Kaede was another one of Naraku's victims; he'd taken her sister and family away from her at such a young age.
But to sit there and tarnish the image that Kaede had of her, when it wasn't Kikyo's fault for what had happened.
Sango and Miroku had taken to cleaning up after dinner, with Inuyasha retrieving another armload of firewood for the elderly priestess.
Shippo quickly climbed into her lap, and she stroked his hair and tail as she waited for everyone to finish.
"Allow me to take a look at ye's ankle," Kaede said, settling down in front of her.
"Oh, it's much better now."
"Humor an old woman," Kaede said, already firmly grasping her foot and starting to unwrap it.
Kaede gently prodded around the abused joint and Kagome crinkled her nose as she put too much pressure on a tender spot. Another hard press made her sit upright, and Shippo hissed loudly, tail puffed up.
Clawed fingers thumped him on the head.
"Kaede ain't doing anything to her," Inuyasha stated. "You don't see me pitching a fit."
"Well, it is definitely sprained, though it is healing, but I am sure that ye knew that already. Keep it elevated and stay off of it as much as is possible is the best treatment. It will take a couple more weeks before it will feel like new again."
Kagome exhaled and nodded as Inuyasha returned to his seat beside her.
"Alright," Kaede said, patting Kagome's shin. "Now perhaps we can discuss ye's encounters with my sister."
Kagome found a rough spot in her nail, and Inuyasha's hand slid between hers, interweaving his fingers with her own.
She looked up at him, watching his eyes slide slowly to the side to look at her before returning to the group. She didn't miss the way his hand squeezed hers gently.
Inuyasha loved her. He'd said so, and Inuyasha didn't lie.
Kagome's other hand grasped the hem of his fire rat and rubbed it between her fingers.
Inuyasha loved her, and she'd done nothing wrong.
"Well, I suppose we should start at the beginning," Miroku said, and Kagome gripped Inuyasha's hand firmly as Miroku explained everything.
A/N: Happy Thursday!
Sorry about being gone for so long. It's been a process. New job, brain not wanting to brain properly anymore, therapy on top of therapy, and yeah, I'm wiped out. But I did want to attempt to start posting again, but I make no promises that I'll be able to hold myself to it. I hope so, but this concussion is kicking my ass in more ways than one.
So anyway, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and sorry that this is more transitional after being gone for so long, but there's a couple points that I wanted to finish before this thing takes off again. As always, let me know what you think.
