Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Janet Evanovich. I am not making any money from this. Mistakes are mine.

My Train of Thought Has Left the Station by Debra8652

Chapter 7 - My take on which memes apply to whom. Steph is featured in honor of her October 12th birthday. Ranger is in second place.

Hal: OK, so naked running ... apparently this means running without GPS, music or any other tech. I wish I'd known this an hour ago.

Mary Lou: I be texting my bestie "We got this" knowing we don't got this and we both need therapy.

Lula: Since nobody sends me good morning texts, I have decided to wake up in the afternoon from now on.

Lester: Aliens are coming to Earth tomorrow to abduct all sexy, good looking people. I'm just sharing this to say goodbye. I've got to go pack.

Valerie: Let the children believe in Santa. We all believed in our first marriages.

Albert: At a couples counseling meeting, the speaker mentioned that couples are so disconnected that 85% of husbands don't even know their wives' favorite flower. He turned to his wife and whispered, "It's self-rising, isn't it?"

Connie: I need a leaf blower but for people.

Edna Mazur: When I get old I am not going to sit around doing crossword puzzles. I'm going to click my Life Alert button and see how many hot firefighters show up.

Tank: You don't get to tell me what to do - you're not my cat.

RANGER:

I know I disappear a lot, I don't text back consistently, and I'm distant. The truth is, I am a superhero.

When a woman laughs during an argument, know that the psycho part of her brain has been activated. Abort mission.

If a woman says "First of all," during an argument, run away because she has prepared research, data, charts, and a PowerPoint. She will destroy you.

STEPH:

Stop worrying about what other people think. I mean, have you met other people? They're awful.

All summer she was a graceful and classy lady. Then hockey season started.

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult. I'm just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity, though.

I do all my own stunts. Never intentionally.

When someone asks about your family and you're trying to decide whether to tell them the Disney version or the Jerry Springer version.

My heart rate went up and my Fitbit congratulated me on a good workout. I was eating.

I don't know why everyone hates lazy people - we didn't even do anything.

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to talk a lot, all of the time.

I just had my patience tested. I'm negative.

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, did I say good? I meant food - I try to find the food in every situation.

You ever hear a rumor about yourself and actually want to hear more? Like no way, what did I do next?

Judging by the looks of my hair this morning, I think I may be a Muppet.

Dear Teacher, I talk to everyone so moving my seat won't help.

I wanna go to a wedding where someone says no.

Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I'd like to see a medication label say, "May cause extreme sexiness."

I prefer a street taco date over a five-star restaurant every day of the week.

Don't forget to buy your Halloween candy early so there's time to buy more after you eat it all.

Driving down the road and saw my ex. It's funny how "I'd hit that" changes meaning over the years.

A/N Thirty memes for the 30th anniversary of "One for the Money," which was published in 1994. Your reviews are appreciated.