So, I really wanted to at least try and keep these stories in chronological order, but I am failing already.

I have been working on a one-shot based on the second episode, but it turned out to be a bit trickier than I thought. I have it almost ready, but it's a bit out of my comfort zone and very different from what I usually write (also very, very M-rated). I need a bit more time to work on it, it just doesn't feel right yet.

So, instead, this week you are getting the first part of the story based on the third episode. It was one of the first that I had finished, and I am curious what you think about the changes I have made to the episode. It consists of four parts and the last two parts will be a little M-rated. I will change the rating on this story when that happens.


The Love Retrieval Chronicles

Tale Two - 'The Bachelor Party Corrosion'

Part 1 of 4


Amy

"Okay Amy, it's your turn."

Drats. And here Amy had thought that hearing about Penny's dead pig would have distracted the girls enough to let this go.

The phone in her hand felt as if it weighed at least fifty pounds and a part of her regretted attending this girls' night in the first place.

It had felt safe, coming here while Sheldon was in Mexico. Although, she should have figured that the topic of their break-up would still come up tonight.

Her stomach churned as she started dialing her mother's phone number.

This was it. After she made this call, there would be no going back.

Not that she wanted to go back. Certainly not.

And yet, she dreaded telling her mother about breaking up with Sheldon. Because telling her… the last person in her life that didn't already know, had a sense of finality to it.

It would confirm what was already the truth.

She, Amy Farrah Fowler, was now a single woman. A single woman with pierced ears who was pathetic enough to make silly penis-cookies for her married friends.

She was about to hit the dial button, when Penny's phone started to ring.

Saved by the bell… or so she thought.

"Hey, Leonard. How's your bach… what? Whoa, whoa, whoa calm down. What do you mean it burned down? No, but… No, don't wait for the next train. We'll be there in a few hours. Bye."

Penny hung up the phone, then sighed deeply.

"Alright, change of plans. The guys managed to burn down Feynman's van. They're at a police station, stranded without a car. We are going to pick them up."

"Oh…", Amy said, relieved because she did not have to call her mother anymore, but also disappointed because her night with the girls was cut short. "Well, have fun on your road trip. I'll get going then."

"No, Amy you're coming too.", Bernadette protested. "We are all going to pick up our guys."

"Your guys.", Amy corrected her. "I haven't spoken to any of them since…"

She gulped.

Of course she should have expected this. They were Sheldon's friends. But nevertheless, she had been feeling so lonely at work these past weeks. Naturally, she had not been eating with the guys, but it pained her that no one, not even Raj or Howard came to check on her in her lab once in a while.

"Well, you will have to talk to them tonight.", Penny told her. "This madness has been going on for far too long. You and Sheldon might be broken up, but we are all still friends. You are as much part of this as we are."

"But…"

"Besides, we are going to need two cars to get everyone home.", Bernadette pointed out. "And I don't trust Penny's car to get anyone this far."

Amy huffed. It seemed there was no way out of this.

"Fine. But if there's three of us in two cars, I won't be the one driving alone."

Minutes later, she was in her car with Penny in the passenger seat.

This was so not the evening she had signed up for.

As if it wasn't bad enough that Penny and Bernadette had kept bringing up the man she did not want to think about. All evening, every mention of him had felt like a punch in the gut.

And as she was getting her ears pierced by Penny, she couldn't stop thinking about how Sheldon was doing in Mexico.

Did he hate every second of it? Did he think of her the way she was thinking of him?

It was torture.

And now, instead of eating slightly pornographic cookies and having drinks with her friends – boy, did she need a fun night of drinking to numb the pain a little – she now had to pick up her ex-boyfriend and his friends from a gone-wrong bachelor party in Mexico.

She wasn't prepared for this.

For being together with all of them and especially for seeing Sheldon.

"So, Amy, tell me. How are you really doing?", her friend asked her after thirty minutes of uncomfortable silence.

"What do you mean?", Amy asked. "I told you I'm doing well. Focusing on myself. Enjoying single life."

"Sure.", Penny nodded. "Nothing screams 'focusing on yourself' more than spending hours baking anatomically correct penis-cookies."

"I did this for your bachelorette party, Penny.", Amy reminded her friend.

Of course, her first idea had been to order a sexy cake from a bakery that specialized on bachelorette parties. But then she had felt so lonely, sitting in her apartment on a day she would under different circumstances have spent at the zoo with Sheldon. She had been desperate for a distraction.

But Penny did not have to know that.

"You also didn't tell your family about the break-up.", Penny pointed out. "Who did you do that for?"

"For me.", Amy defended herself. "Because I did not want to be interrogated by my mother. If she hears about the break-up, she will start pestering me about dating once a year again. I really don't need that right now."

"Of course you don't.", Penny nodded. "Because dating someone else would mean it's definitely over between you and Sheldon."

"It is definitely over between me and Sheldon.", Amy hissed. "Now let it go."

"But Amy…"

"No but, Penny.", she exclaimed. "You were the one who said I should do what makes me happy, remember."

"I did.", Penny said calmly.

"Good. Again. Let it go."

"Alright.", Penny conceded. "I only have one question, and then I will let it go."

Amy huffed. She did not want to talk about it any longer. It hurt too much.

"Fine. But be quick."

"I remember how I told you to be true to yourself and to do what makes you happy. So… you not changing your Facebook status or telling your parents… thinking about changing your wardrobe and baking pornographic cookies… is this you being true to yourself? Are you happy with your choice, Amy?"

"I…", Amy started, but the words seemed to be stuck in her throat. "I am…"

"Yes?", Penny asked patiently. "You are…"

Amy sighed deeply. There simply was no hiding from Penny.

"Point taken.", she grumbled. "I am… having a hard time adjusting to my new life."

"Why did you end it, Amy?", Penny asked softly. "It happened so quickly. Did you really think it through?"

"Of course not.", Amy snorted. "Sheldon did not let me think it through. He kept cornering me and he completely ignored my request to think. And then he insulted me. Breaking things off was the only choice I had left."

"Huh…"

Amy rolled her eyes at her friend.

"Huh? That's all you have to say?"

"Look.", Penny said carefully. "I know Sheldon can be infuriating. Believe me, no one knows that better than I do. You had every right to break up with him. In fact, I don't think many women would have put up with him as long as you did."

"Thank you.", Amy nodded.

"However… You've been together for five years. You had so many reasons to break up with him during this time. There were times when he treated you horribly and you always stayed with him. But it seems, during the past months, you two have somehow found your groove. The timing just seems off."

"You really think so?", Amy asked doubtfully.

"I mean yeah.", Penny shrugged. "That strange relationship test where you two were so proud of your score… then you were going to get a pet together because things were going so well. You built that cute little fort. It just seems you two broke up just when things were finally going somewhere."

Amy couldn't stop her eyes from filling with tears when Penny pointed out all these happy times.

Was she right?

Had they been going somewhere? Had she just not seen it?

Had she made a mistake?

She shook her head vehemently.

No. She could not think like this.

She had finally set herself free from a five-year-long relationship that did not meet her wants and needs. She had a right to it. And she would feel happy, once she finally got over Sheldon.

"It's over, Penny.", she said softly. "I'm moving on. There's no point in asking what-if questions. It's done."

"Are you sure? Because I keep thinking that… maybe if Leonard and I had been around when it happened… maybe we could have made him keep his distance to you and then you wouldn't have broken up. I mean… don't you love him anymore? Because I know he…"

"Penny!", Am shouted. "I answered your question. You promised you would let it go."

Penny sighed exasperatedly.

"Fine.", she huffed.

Amy breathed out relieved.

For the next two hours, their conversation shifted to Penny's work.

Amy only half-listened to her friend's gossip about her colleagues.

A part of her would have loved to keep talking about Sheldon and the possibility of getting back together with him.

But she knew, she couldn't. She was barely holding it together as it was.

She couldn't let her friend know how she was really feeling. About the hours she spent alone on her couch, sobbing while reading through Sheldon's old text messages from the past five years.

And how she, too, kept asking herself what if… what if she had not gone to Howard and Bernadette that morning. What if she had gone somewhere else. Somewhere Sheldon could not have confronted and insulted her? What if she had the opportunity to think things through?

It did not matter anymore though. It was over. Done.

Her brain understood that. Now all she had to do was convince her heart.

Finally, they arrived at the precinct.

Amy's heart was beating rapidly. For a second she pondered just staying in the car and waiting for the others. She could ask Penny to send Sheldon to Bernadette's car, that way she could get out of seeing him at all.

But she knew, Penny would not accept this and in the end, it would have been childish to not say hello at least.

So, she entered the building with her friends and then stood in the corner, as she watched with envy how Penny and Bernadette ran to their respective husbands, greeting them with hugs and kisses.

She turned her head, but to her surprise, Sheldon was nowhere to be seen.

"Amy, it's good to see you.", Raj told her as he approached her. "Thank you for driving all the way to pick us up."

"It's okay.", she said gruffly.

It wasn't okay. Not really. And it hurt a lot, seeing the group of people she used to hang out with for years. It seemed they weren't "her" group anymore.

Also, she wondered where Sheldon was.

Maybe using the bathroom. Or…

Had he heard that she was coming and was now hiding?

It didn't really matter.

"So… can we leave then?", she asked. "Rajesh, Penny, Leonard, you can ride with me. All the others can go with Bernadette."

She was already turning around, dangling her keys, but as usual, the universe had different plans.

"Wait. We have to wait for Sheldon.", Leonard told her.

"Right.", Penny said, inspecting the room. "Where is he?"

"In a cell.", Howard said with a big grin. "Which we should have seen coming."

Amy's blood ran cold.

"What?", she shrieked. "How… Why… What happened?"

Howard snickered.

"What do you think? Sheldon happened. We called 911 because of the fire, then the police arrived with the fire fighters. Sheldon freaked out and accused them of not being real cops and wanting to kidnap us all, then after we arrived here, he had several complaints about the safety of their cars and their equipment, which, apparently is not up to certain standards. He wanted to have all their badge numbers and now he's in a cell until he's ready to apologize."

"Been there…", Penny snorted. "He'll apologize as soon as he needs to use the bathroom."

"Well, didn't any of you guys tell him to just apologize now?", Bernadette asked.

"Of course we did.", Leonard said, rolling his eyes. "But have you met Sheldon? When has he ever listened to any of us?"

"Can we just leave him here?", Howard asked. "He can take the train in the morning. Sheldon loves trains, remember."

"Are you out of your mind?", Penny exclaimed. "We are not letting Sheldon stay in Mexico all by himself. He'll get himself killed before he's even at the train station. Someone should be staying here."

Amy was torn. On the one hand, she agreed with Penny. Sheldon could not stay here by himself. On the other hand… she really wanted to leave before she had to see him.

"Well…", she said thoughtfully. "Penny, Leonard, obviously the two of you have to stay. You can borrow my car, I'll just go with the others."

Leonard nodded in agreement, but Penny got up and shook her head.

"Amy, can I talk to you for a second?", she asked and pulled her around the corner before Amy could protest.

"What's there to talk about?", Amy asked her friend. "You two are living with Sheldon. It makes sense for you to drive with him. Also, it sounds like you were in a similar situation with him once. Plus... You know how to talk him into things. And I remind you, this was Leonard's bachelor party, so he is kinda responsible for everything that happened tonight."

"Yeah, yeah yeah….", Penny said, waving her hand. "That's all true. But don't you see what an opportunity this is?"

"Opportunity?", Amy narrowed her eyes at her friend. "Penny, you aren't still hung up on…"

"Listen to me, Amy.", Penny said firmly. "You are in love with Sheldon. Admit it or not, a part of you regrets breaking up with him. You two never got to talk before it all went down. So, take this as a second chance. You will be stuck together for an almost three-hour drive. After that, you've either figured out a way to resolve your differences, or you know for sure that it is supposed to be over between you two."

"Penny, I already know for sure…"

"Stop lying to yourself, Amy.", Penny whisper-shouted. "I get that you're hurt, and you have to talk yourself into sticking to your guns. But I seriously think you are making a mistake. Just like I did when I broke up with Leonard. I remember how hard it was to see him move on and only having myself to blame for it. I don't want you two to go through it, when it's so obvious that you are both hurting and wishing you were still together."

Amy froze at the mention of moving on.

Was she saying… she thought that Sheldon would move on at some point? With another woman?

She took a deep breath. No, she could not think about this.

"It just takes time to…", she started.

"Yeah, maybe it could get better with time.", Penny interrupted her. "But Amy please. Look me straight into the eye and tell me you are absolutely sure. With a hundred percent certainty. That you and Sheldon do not belong together. That there is no chance for reconciliation and that you'll both be better off once you've gotten over the other."

Amy wanted to shout. She wanted to scream at Penny to finally leave her alone. Hadn't she suffered enough? Wasn't this hard enough as it was? Hadn't she earned the right to try and move on?

But she couldn't help it. Everything that Penny was saying… it did strike a chord within her. And a small part of her… a teeny tiny part… really did not want to leave anyone else to stay here and help Sheldon.

And just like that, her resolve faltered and all she could do was try to blink away the tears.

She felt Penny's hand on her shoulder.

"I really hope you two can figure this out.", she said softly.

Amy swallowed deeply. "Okay.", she whispered.

"And I am not just saying this because I don't want to spend hours in the car with Sheldon, forced to play his stupid car games."

Amy chuckled. "Yeah, sure."

Penny went back to the group and announced their departure. Amy barely heard it when the others thanked her before they rushed to Bernadette's car.

And then, she was all alone with her thoughts. Trying to figure out the next step.

She had to face Sheldon. And spend hours with him in her car.

She wasn't ready for this. Not even a little bit. And she had no idea how to process Penny's words and what they meant for her.

She took a deep breath, then straightened her shoulders.

Well, it wasn't as if she still had a choice.

And there was no point in delaying the inevitable.

"Excuse me?", she asked as she approached one of the officers. "I am here to pick up Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

"He's not leaving before he apologizes.", the man told her in a bored tone.

"Well, if you let me speak to him, I promise he will, and we'll be out of your hair."

Apparently, the prospect of getting rid of Sheldon did the trick and so, Amy was led downstairs.

Sheldon

Sheldon was fuming.

Why? Why had these stupid police men locked him in a cell? He had done nothing wrong. He had only wanted to be safe and make sure those alleged police officers weren't really murderers.

And why did that stupid van have to burn up like it did? Why had Howard insisted on changing the tire himself instead of calling for help? And how could they all have agreed on it. This was Howard. MIT-trained engineer without a doctorate. Why would he of all people be capable of changing a tire?

Also, why did he have to go to this stupid bachelor weekend in the first place? He hadn't even wanted to. As usual, his friends had forced him to do something unnecessary and risky, resulting in these dire consequences.

Why hadn't he fought harder against being bound and kidnapped? He knew, if he had really wanted to, he could have escaped to his room.

But the truth was… a part of him had dreaded to be alone in his apartment.

He had always enjoyed solitude. But lately… he couldn't stomach being alone with his thoughts. Alone with the emptiness and the heartbreak.

Especially knowing Penny would be having her belated bachelorette party across the hall. Knowing who she had invited.

He couldn't sit in his spot and hear the happy giggles from the woman who didn't even answer any of his texts anymore.

She hadn't just ended their five-year relationship. She had also effectively ended their friendship. He did not exist for her any longer.

Sheldon sighed deeply as he stood in the corner of his sad little prison cell.

He would have loved to sit down on the cot, or even on the floor. He was so exhausted. But he did not want to touch anything in this cell. Who knew what kinds of germs he could catch here?

"I'll give you five minutes, ma'am.", he heard an officer say a bit in the distance. "If you don't succeed, he's spending the night and you'll be asked to leave."

Ma'am?

Then, he heard steps. Slow steps.

He looked up, expecting Penny, but he almost jumped when he saw a very familiar face.

This had got to be an illusion, right?

"A… Amy?", he croaked. "What… How… Why are you here?"

"Hello Sheldon.", Amy said, her voice not much more than a whisper.

For a few moments, the broken-up couple stared at each other through the bars of his cell.

If his heart hadn't felt this heavy, Sheldon may have appreciated the irony in this situation.

How fitting it was.

He was covered in soot and disheveled. Messed up. Locked up in a prison cell all by himself.

And then there she was. Pretty as the day when she had left him. Outside, where he wanted to be. So close and yet unreachable to him.

If this was not the perfect metaphor for their current situation, then he did not know what was.

And yet… she was here.

Why was she here?

Sure, his friends had talked about calling the girls, and he had expected Penny and maybe Bernadette too to come pick up their husbands.

But why in the world would Amy drive all the way here?

Had she been kidnapped by her friends, just like it had happened to him?

She couldn't be here for him. After all, she had made perfectly clear that there was no connection between them anymore.

But then why was she the one in front of his cell? Why did the task of getting him to apologize fall on her of all people?

Sheldon studied her face.

It was hard to say what she was thinking.

She looked just like herself. Like she had looked for the past five years. A bit pale, but that was not unusual. But her eyes… somehow, she looked tired.

She was opening her mouth to speak, but it seemed the words were stuck in her throat.

Sheldon felt sadness creeping up his spine.

No one knew him like Amy did. And he was certain, if anyone could get him to apologize to these horrible officers, it was her.

The Amy from a few weeks before would have had an elaborate scheme up her sleeve. A careful plan on what to tell him so that he would come to the conclusion that apologizing was the most logical thing to do. She probably would even let him think it was his own idea.

But this Amy? She seemed to have no idea what to say to him, making their unfortunate break-up even more painfully obvious.

His heart sank.

She wasn't his anymore. No longer in his corner. She was already in the process of unlearning the language only the two of them could understand. Or at the very least, she was refusing to speak it anymore. Her everlasting patience for him had vanished and she did not see him any differently anymore from how other people saw him.

And – his heart sank further – soon enough she would learn another language. Spoken by another man. It was only a matter of time for someone else to realize how special this woman was. And that man… he would know what to do about his feelings. He would take charge and make her happy. As he, Sheldon never could.

And he… he would forever remain in his prison. Made of his own shortcomings. And for the rest of his life, he would be wishing and yearning to be free. Free with her.

"Sheldon…", Amy sighed finally. "Please. Just… apologize. I'm begging you. I just want to go home. Please."

A myriad of emotions welled up in his chest at her words.

Surprise. Because she seemed so… resigned.

Hurt. Because it seemed she really wasn't here because she wanted to. Because maybe some part of her still wanted him.

Defiance. What was her problem? He had not asked for any of this. He had not told her to come rescue him. She could just leave if she wanted to.

But then… remorse.

Because he knew, in the end, he had only himself to blame for why they were in this situation.

At last, he averted his eyes.

"Okay.", he whispered. "I'll apologize."

She nodded. "Thank you. I'll get the guard."

Sheldon sighed.

This was going to be a long drive.


So... what do you think? Does it make sense for Sheldon to land in Mexican prison? I can't help but think it does, and that thought just made me giggle so much when I watched this episode.

I know, I am again using one of their friends to get them to talk. I agree with what some of you said in your reviews: I really, really wish, their friends would have tried to help them. But I promise, this will not be the solution in all of these tales.

The next chapter will be rather conversation-heavy. But it will be a different talk to the one they had in the last tale. I am trying not to be repetitive, I promise!