I was so happy about all of your reactions to the last chapter.
Now with this one, I'm afraid we're back to conversations again. At least during the first part. I hope, everything will make sense and even more, I hope you will enjoy the conclusion of this tale.
As mentioned before, the next one will be a one-shot. I am almost sure I will be able to post it next week.
The Love Retrieval Chronicles
Tale Two – 'The Bachelor Party Corrosion'
Part 4 of 4
Amy
I'm horrible.
Amy was breathing heavily as she lay on her bed, trying to process the events of the evening.
I'm completely horrible. I'm the worst. How could I let this happen?
She wiped away a tear from her face, then rolled into fetal position and pulled her blanket up to her nose.
Her heart was beating almost out of her chest.
She was sweating out of every pore and yet… she had never felt this cold in her entire life.
How could she have thought… How could she have let herself think…
'Take off your clothes.'
'I am attracted to you.'
'You… Uhm… W… wow'
'I'm sorry. But I think, I really, really need to kiss you…'
'Will you… uhm… allow me to…'
'Is that enough of an effect for you?'
'You are perfect. Absolutely perfect.'
That right there. That's how she could have thought she was doing the right thing. That it was real.
Because, wow… hadn't it been just the most exciting and amazing thing that had happened to her in her entire life?
And for a few blissful moments, she had let herself forget about the facts and lived in this perfect fantasy.
She shivered as she remembered.
Sheldon's hands on her. His skin underneath her fingertips. His… arousal for her. It had made her feel so happy. So proud and confident.
And oh, his lips.
She had never been kissed like this before. She hadn't even known one could be kissed like this.
She darted out her tongue and licked her lips. Oh God, she could still taste his kisses.
And Sheldon… oh, he had been so passionate.
At least that was what she had let herself believe.
'I need you. I never knew how much I needed you.'
'I promise, I will do anything I can. I will be anything you need. I will give you everything you deserve. Just… never leave me again. I cannot take it.'
There.
That was the moment when she realized.
It was the moment when she was hit with shame and regret. And guilt.
The intensity of Sheldon's kisses. No, of his whole behavior. She should have known.
He wasn't passionate.
He was… desperate.
While she was letting herself enjoy the sensation of being with him in a way, she had always hoped for… he was desperately trying everything to please her. To be the person he thought she needed.
She shook her head in despair.
How could she ever think that Sheldon actually wanted this? That he wanted her the way she wanted him?
Granted, there was no denying that physically, he did want her. And maybe, on some level, he truly wanted to be this person who could sweep her off her feet and make love to her.
Because he loved her. He loved her so much. So much more than she had realized.
So much, he wanted to change for her. He was willing to give her everything. Regardless of how he felt about it.
For five long years he had made his stance on the matter abundantly clear. So how could she have let herself believe he had changed his mind on it in the course of only a few weeks.
And the worst thing was, she could not be mad at him for trying to make her believe.
After all… hadn't he told her before? In the car?
He missed her. He felt empty and lost. And he hated that they were drifting apart.
No, Amy really only had herself to blame.
But hadn't she been feeling the same way?
Lost. Empty. Lonely. Incomplete.
And for years, she had desired this man and wished things were different.
Who could blame her for getting carried away just now?
And yet… she felt so guilty.
For letting things go this far. For taking advantage of the man she loved when he was in this vulnerable state of mind.
And for not realizing how much he really loved her in the first place. For breaking his heart the way she had.
Amy sobbed, rubbing her hand over her lips as if trying to remove the tingly feeling of Sheldon's kisses.
It was all her fault. All of it.
Why had she not just agreed to talk to him? Everything would have been different then.
She could have sat him down. Explained the shirt. Calmly.
She could have admitted to her feelings. And how much she regretted breaking up with him.
They could have talked. About the things that had gone wrong. And maybe they could have even talked about the possibility of reconciliation.
She could have just been his girlfriend again. Made him understand what it was that made her break up with him. Found a compromise. And maybe even resumed their slow journey towards real intimacy.
Without pressure or desperation.
But now… well, now she had possibly ruined that too.
Her heart hurt as she thought about how she left Sheldon behind just now.
Maybe it was wrong to lie here, feeling guilty and sorry for herself. Maybe… maybe she should check on him.
Make sure he had gotten home okay. And apologize for everything that just happened.
But that would mean… facing him. Finding out what he was thinking of everything. If he was disappointed in her. If she had broken his heart yet again. If he was already regretting everything that had happened between them.
She was scared to find out.
And so, Amy stayed in bed. For almost half an hour.
And the more she thought about it, the more she started wondering.
Had she done the right thing, sending him away?
Was there any chance that it had not been a mistake?
Maybe… she was misinterpreting everything.
Ugh… it was all so overwhelmingly confusing.
She pulled her pillow over her head.
*knock knock knock* "Amy" *knock knock knock* "Amy" *knock knock knock* "Amy"
What in the world…
Amy gasped as she pulled her head out from under the pillow.
What was he still doing here?
Her heart started beating faster.
Sheldon was still here. He had not left.
Why?
"C… come in.", she croaked.
She blinked twice as she saw him stand in the doorway.
He was still dressed in her jogging pants and was now wearing his Flash shirt as well.
His hair was combed. He looked so much more like himself than before.
And yet, his eyes… he did not seem as sure of himself as he usually did.
And there was the guilt again.
She had broken him into pieces.
"Would you please come out again?", Sheldon asked her calmly. "I made breakfast."
She blinked twice more.
He had prepared food for her? After what they had been doing earlier? After she had sent him home?
"Sheldon, you didn't have to…"
"You left the stove on.", he said accusingly. "Were you planning on burning down your place? Because, frankly, I've had enough fire for one day."
"I…", she cleared her throat. How could she have been so reckless and stupid. Well of course. She had been preoccupied with lust and selfishness. "Sorry, I… didn't think. Th… thank you for checking."
"Just for the record, I adjusted your oven timer again.", he continued in a stern voice. "Really, Amy, I'm not here for a few weeks and you let chaos overtake your life."
Amy smiled weakly.
The oven timer.
She hadn't even been able to look at it, ever since she had broken up with Sheldon.
And now he was here. Adjusting it. Again. Taking care of her. Again. And she… she barely dared to look at him. Because she had a hard time fighting against the tears as it was.
She did not deserve this. She did not deserve him.
"Thanks.", she whispered. But I'm not hungry."
As if on cue, there was a loud rumbling coming from her stomach. Her empty stomach apparently wasn't alright with passing up the opportunity of being filled.
"Amy…", he said impatiently.
She was out of ideas on how to get out of this situation now.
"Alright.", she sighed. "I'll be out in a second."
"Good."
He turned around and left her bedroom again and Amy swallowed away the lump in her throat before she put on her robe and followed him.
How would they play this, she wondered? Would they just ignore whatever happened between them just now?
Maybe they would have breakfast, and then Sheldon would leave.
By now, he must be regretting what happened. He must feel disgusted by her germs. And embarrassed of his arousal.
He was probably craving another shower again.
He must be.
"I finished the French Toast you've started before.", he said, as he brought the food to the table. "I also wanted to prepare fruit salad because I know you like to add a healthy component to this kind of food, but I couldn't find any fruit. Or other fresh ingredients for that matter. You weren't kidding when you said you don't have much in your fridge."
"Yeah, I didn't have time to go grocery shopping."
She was lying.
Ever since she had broken up with Sheldon, she could barely bring herself to eat. That's why she had stopped buying fresh food. Most of it would just go bad anyway.
Sheldon looked at her like he didn't believe her.
Why should he? After all, he had seen the cookies she had spent a lot of time on. He knew time was not the issue here.
And like before, it felt like he was looking right through her. He could read it all. He knew how much she had been missing him. Not just because she had admitted to it. But because he could feel it too.
Maybe he could even feel how much she regretted ever breaking up with him.
Amy felt naked. Even more than before.
"Thanks for cooking.", she mumbled. "It looks delicious."
"You're welcome.", he nodded.
He seemed strangely calm. Which was making her even more anxious.
Shouldn't he be freaking out?
Why was there no Sheldon-shaped hole in her apartment door?
Why hadn't he run away?
"Sheldon, I'm really…"
"Not now.", he stopped her. "Please. Just… eat."
"But… I just feel I should explain…"
"Amy.", he shook his head sadly. "It's 5 in the morning. You drove all night. You haven't eaten. I'm dying to know what went wrong, but I need you to eat something first. Please."
The intensity with which he was staring at her… Amy realized he was worried for her. And he needed to take care of her.
It made her feel guilty all over again.
"O… okay.", she said, trying to keep the tears at bay.
She took her first bite then, noticing how it tasted even better than it looked.
It was perfect. Crispy and tasty. And Sheldon had prepared it exactly the way she liked it best. Without butter on top and with just the right amount of maple syrup. He had even plucked a lemon balm leaf from one of the pots in her kitchen and decorated her plate with it.
And maybe the fact she hadn't really eaten in days was playing a part in it, but Amy was sure, she had never eaten anything as tasty in her whole life.
She simultaneously hated and loved this man for knowing her so well.
They ate in silence, their gazes meeting again and again, only for them both to look away again.
She had no idea what to make of this. Of his presence in his apartment. Of his cooking and of… his reaction to what had happened before.
Why was he so calm about it?
He must be feeling so uncomfortable. And he was under no obligation to stay and face the situation.
Why hadn't he run when he had the chance?
Finally, the plates were empty. Amy got up to put them into the sink, then turned around, unsure of how to proceed.
She could just offer to drive him home, but it did not look like he wanted to leave, and also… she did not want to send him away.
"So…", she started, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Thanks for cooking… uhm…"
"Would you sit down again, please?", he interrupted her. "I would very much like for us to talk now."
"Oh… okay.", she conceded and sat back down across from him.
She knew she should probably say something, but she did not know where to start. She was still so confused about everything. And it did not help that she couldn't look at him without remembering the feeling of his hands and his lips all over again.
This was bad. She had to push it to the back of her mind. She could not think about it ever again.
She owed it to him.
"Sheldon, I want you to know that…", she sighed. "I am sorry. I am deeply sorry about everything."
Sheldon did not answer for a few moments, just studied her face, as if trying to figure her out.
"Amy, I am confused.", he said calmly and bit his lower lip. "I know this evening did not turn out the way we had planned, but… I thought everything was… perfect. But then you asked me to leave, and I assumed that I did something wrong and now… I don't understand what you are apologizing for. Could you please tell me what went wrong?"
She took a deep breath. Where to begin?
"Just… everything.", she whispered, willing her tears to stay where they were.
"Oh."
Sheldon averted his eyes and looked down on the floor, blinking repeatedly.
"That's what I feared. I… misinterpreted the situation. I… I blindsided you", he deduced. "I did not mean to pressure you into something you did not want. I feel horrible. And I'm really, really sorry for what I did. I… guess I really should be leaving you alone."
Wait what? He thought she was the one who felt pressured?
Amy could see the pain in his eyes, and it made her hurt all over again as well. More than that, she had no idea, how Sheldon could think that. This was so not what had happened.
"But… that's not what I am saying.", she protested. "Sheldon, you never pressured me. You did not… misinterpret the situation."
"I… did not?"
"No.", she croaked. "And if anyone should be sorry about what happened… it's me. I am sorry, Sheldon. For making you think you had to do… this..."
Sheldon shook his head.
He seemed confused.
"Why would you think…?"
"I did not break up with you, because we did not have sex, Sheldon.", she said defensively. "And I don't want you to force yourself to be someone you are not for my sake. Because I would never want to pressure you into something you aren't ready for."
He looked at her incredulously.
"You think I only did what I did for your sake?", he asked. "You think I was forcing myself to be intimate with you? Amy, you couldn't be more wrong. And here I thought I was the one having trouble reading social situations."
She shook her head disbelievingly.
Maybe she should feel flattered by the lengths this man was willing to go just to go just for her.
"I know you love me, Sheldon…", she told him softly. "What I did not realize was… how much. How much I hurt you by breaking up with you. I should have realized when you said all these… things in the car. But what you said before, while we were… uhm… you know…"
She sighed. The words did not come easily.
"What about it?", he asked impatiently.
"You promised me you would be anyone I needed you to be. And that you would do anything you had to. And while I am deeply touched and… frankly overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings for me, you don't ever have to be anyone but yourself for me. And I am so sorry for ever making you feel like you did. What happened today… is not something you want. I mean… you never did. And that's okay. I always accepted that, and I always will."
She looked up at Sheldon, who still sat there with furrowed eyebrows, seemingly speechless.
"But I don't…", he started, his voice shaking. "You wanted to know if you affected me. You saw the effect you have on me. You… felt it. How can you think I did not want this."
Sheldon's cheeks were slightly pink as he mentioned his reaction to her and Amy couldn't help but think how adorable he looked.
"It was a physical reaction, Sheldon.", she pointed out. She got up from her seat. It was hard enough to talk about this. She couldn't sit so close to him. "You are a healthy man in your prime and well… that does not really mean you were ready for what's happening."
"But… I am…"
"Regardless of any physical reaction...", she interrupted him. "I do still love you. And I miss you so much. For weeks… I've been wishing I had never broken up with you. We had our problems, but I kept thinking that maybe we could have solved those. I wish I had agreed to talk to you today. I wish… I hadn't been so selfish. I never wanted you to think you had to put sex on the table for us to be together again. Because you don't have to. You never did."
Her heart was beating fast.
She had not planned to say all this. She still felt so guilty for everything.
But there was a small part of her that also hoped he would tell her it wasn't too late. That they could move past this.
Sheldon was still staring at her in confusion.
Then, he shook his head and got up.
Amy's heart sank.
Was he leaving now?
But he wasn't. He was walking towards her.
"If you don't mind…", he said. "I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking."
Amy smiled weakly as she was reminded of the last time he had said that. Just before they had experimented on their friends by making them believe they had coitus.
"O… okay?"
He walked up to her, grasping one of her hands, looking at her seriously.
Amy swallowed deeply. He was so close now. Almost as close as before. And he was holding her hand. Which was good, because her knees were feeling weak, and she needed something to hold onto.
"Amy, you are right about one thing.", he said, looking at her intently. "I do love you very much. And I am desperate to have you back in my life. I want to be the man you need me to be. However, you are wrong about your other assumption. I did not try to be intimate with you, because I thought this was the only chance to get you back. I know that's not why you broke up with me."
She had a hard time processing his words.
"But if you know that, then…"
"When I said I will do anything, I meant that…", his voice turned even more serious than before. "I am willing to get to the bottom of whatever went wrong and fix it. If I am honest, I don't fully understand why you broke up with me. I am dying to learn all the reasons so I can do better in the future. But what happened between us earlier had nothing to do with it."
"Then why did you…"
She tried again to blink away the tears in her eyes. She knew what she wanted to hear. Before, when they were kissing, she had almost felt as if it could be the truth. And now, she was hoping again. But she also knew it was highly unlikely, Sheldon would ever say the words…
"Because Amy…", he said, grasping her other hand too, squeezing them both tightly as if he was afraid, she would not believe him. "I wanted it to happen. It felt like the right thing to do at that moment. And… I think I am ready. I think I've been ready for a while. It just took me a while to realize it."
Her eyes widened.
Impossible.
"W… What? But… how? Why?", she stuttered. "I mean… are you… sure?"
Sheldon gave her a weak smile.
"I know. It's really bad timing, isn't it?"
"But…"
He took another step towards her. She could feel his breath on her cheek as he spoke.
"I missed you so much, Amy.", he murmured. "You have no idea. I missed everything that we did together. Our trivia games and science talks. Fun with Flags. Spending time in your lab. Going to lectures and to the zoo together. But then came our first would-be date night and I lay in bed, thinking…"
He paused.
"Y… yes?", she croaked.
The suspense was almost killing her.
"For years now, I have been working on my issues with physical contact. And I thought, well, at least I can stop that now, right? I will never have to see it through now. But the truth is…", he sighed. "I did not feel relieved."
"N… not even a little?", she asked, as the first tear trickled down her cheek. She had a hard time believing it. And yet, he seemed genuine.
"No. Not at all.", he confessed. "I couldn't stop thinking about being with you. I realized I wanted you there, next to me. I wanted to take this step with you. And I felt… horrible."
Amy blinked.
"H… horrible?"
"It's a bit like…", he seemed to be searching for the right words. "Hiking."
"Hiking?", she furrowed her eyebrows. No wonder he felt horrible if he thought about hiking.
"You start at the bottom of an enormous mountain.", he continued, ignoring her statement. "And the top seems unreachable. You start walking and it's… hard. You run out of breath, and you have to take breaks. You doubt it will even be worth it. You stumble and there are setbacks and it feels impossible to think you will ever make it and you wonder if it wouldn't be better to just turn around and give up."
"Okay, that does not sound all too pleasant…", she said, trying to figure out what it was that he was saying.
"But the farther you get, the more you get used to it. You learn so much about the world and about yourself. And with every step, it gets easier. You start feeling proud of how far you've come and you begin to enjoy the fresh air and... in between, you catch a glimpse of the incredible view, and you start wondering how it will be up on top."
"Oh…", her eyes filled with tears as she realized what his words could mean.
"And then… you are almost there. You pause for a second. The last few steps seem incredibly steep, and you start to feel scared. You try to get ready for it but then…", he sighed. "A helicopter picks you up and takes you back to the ground. Ridding you of the fear but also… taking away any chance to know how it would have been."
"Oh, Sheldon… I had no idea…"
"And it hurt.", he whispered. "Knowing that you wanted me all these years and I wasted all this time. That I was finally ready, but it was too late, because you did not want me anymore."
Finally, she allowed herself to squeeze back his hand.
How stupid had she been before? How unnecessarily stupid to interrupt the magic that was going on between them.
But on the other hand... at least now she knew for sure. And next time - oh, she shuddered at the thought - she would not have do doubt anything.
"Oh, Sheldon…", she repeated at a loss of something better to say to him. She was utterly and completely overwhelmed.
"Please, tell me it isn't too late.", he begged. "Tell me that what happened before was real. That you still want me."
"I do.", she nodded frantically. "Of course, I still want you, Sheldon."
"Good.", he breathed out. "Good. I'm… glad to hear that. So…"
It was finally time for her to interrupt him for a change.
"Sheldon, I am deeply sorry. For everything that happened and all the pain you went through. And for running out on you again before. I… I guess, part of me was just scared you did not want this."
"It's okay.", he whispered. "You ran because you thought I wasn't ready. You… love me so much, you did not want me to do something I'm not ready for. But I am, Amy. I am ready."
"I know that now.", she said, her voice trembling. "And I know that you are only ready because… you started this long uphill climb. You did that for me. Because you love me so much you wanted to try and give me this."
"I do.", he said. "I want to give you this. I just didn't expect that I wanted it for myself as well. And I am sorry too. For everything. For not making you feel like I want you. For pushing you away. For making things so much harder than they had to be."
There they stood. Across from each other. Merely a step apart. Their fingers intertwined. Their eyes filled with tears.
"Can I…", she croaked. "Do you think, uhm…"
"Yes?", he whispered.
Her heart was beating fast and she started feeling dizzy as she asked the question she had not allowed herself to ask him for weeks.
"Can I please… be your girlfriend again, Sheldon?"
She bit her lip and held her breath, before she allowed herself to look at him.
Goosebumps appeared on her arms as she saw the expression on his face.
So full of love. So happy. Beaming at her with the light of a thousand suns.
"Of course.", he said, his voice barely more than a whisper and yet so full of emotion and relief. "There's nothing I want more. But… Are you sure? Because you haven't slept all night and… I would understand if you needed some time to think about…"
"No.", she shook her head vehemently. "No, Sheldon, I don't need time to think. And this has nothing to do with what you just told me. I'm… so sorry for breaking up with you in the first place. It felt wrong from the beginning. I regretted it ever since… oomph…"
She found herself unable to speak as Sheldon hugged her so tightly, the wind was knocked right off her chest.
"Oh, thank God…", he murmured as he encircled her waist with his arms.
Amy sobbed as she returned Sheldon's hug.
Was this real?
Was this time, the most horrible time in her entire life, finally over? Just like that?
Tears streamed down her face as she slung her arms around him, clinging to him for dear life.
Finally, they would be Sheldon and Amy again. She would get to feel complete again.
"I missed you so much.", she whispered into his chest.
"I missed you too.", he replied, his voice laced with tears. "You have no idea."
He released her then and cupped her face with both his hands.
Before, their kisses had been desperate. Frenzied. Full of desire and an all-consuming need.
But this… this one was sweet and gentle. Filled with love and affection. Relief and happiness. Hope.
She never wanted to let go of him again. Never wanted to stop kissing him again.
Once their lips were raw and their tears were dried, Sheldon kept holding her in his arms.
And finally, after weeks, she felt like herself again. Because finally, she was back where she belonged. In the arms of the only man, she could ever love.
Sheldon
There were no words to express how he felt about this perfect moment.
The last twenty-four hours had been such a rollercoaster.
The fire. The Mexican prison cell. The drive home.
Penis cookies. Earrings. Confessions.
His shirt. Amy. Her body.
Kisses. Touches. More confessions.
After that… uncertainty. Fear. That he had done something wrong.
And now… this.
Amy. His Amy. Forever. He would make sure of that.
They would sit down together. And they would talk. About everything that went wrong. So it would never happen again.
But not now. Because now, that the tension was leaving his body… now that he finally had certainty again… he could feel how exhausted he really was.
As if on cue, he could feel Amy yawn against his chest.
"Amy…", he whispered. "How about we… uhm… take a nap together now?"
She looked up at him with a soft expression in her eyes.
"A nap?", she asked, a coy smile playing on her lips. "You mean… in my bed?"
He grinned.
"Oh, I believe we will be spending quite some time together in your bed very soon, little lady.", he promised, winking at her. "But right now, I really mean a nap. Just a few hours. Enough to get some energy for the day but not too much to mess up our sleep cycles."
He meant it.
He wanted to have energy for the day.
Because a few hours from now, he intended to take her out on a date. A "getting back together"-date. To do all the things they had missed out on these past few weeks. To finally be them again. Sheldon and Amy. Back together. For real. No more pretending.
Maybe he would take her to the zoo. Or the aquarium. And then maybe pick up dinner and come back to her place. To play Counterfactuals or talk science or… just talk.
And then, it would be time to work on a game plan.
Because wanted to marry this woman. He wanted to love her and care for her for the rest of his life.
But before he could do any of it, he had to get a few hours of sleep.
They lay down together, on their sides, facing each other. Kissing sweetly for a while. Holding each other tight.
And finally, after weeks of emotional turmoil and pain and heartbreak… there was calm.
He could close his eyes and rest and breathe in her scent and sleep. Without the fear of more nightmares where he saw her move on from him and date someone less complicated than him.
It did not take long until sleep overtook them both.
It was the best sleep he had ever had. Cozy and warm. Feeling her soft body against his.
And when he woke up well rested and with his heart full of love, it wasn't hard to decide what to do next. All the things he had thought about before... the zoo, the aquarium, science... it all paled in comparison.
Because there was one thing that hadn't entered his mind before.
A new and exciting possibility that had never been there before.
Or maybe it had and he had just been to blind to see it.
He reached out for Amy, who was lying next to him, gazing at him lovingly.
Everything around them was still so calm and quiet, as if they were still caught in a dream.
Which, maybe they were.
It all happened so naturally. Without fear or hesitation.
First the kisses. Sweet and loving and pure.
The touches. Gentle. Exploring.
Clothes disappeared almost on their own.
The Flash shirt and the jogging pants found their way to the floor. Her nightgown and underwear was next to go.
"I love you.", he whispered. Not because he wanted her to know. Because she already did. But because he wanted to let her know that this moment… this pure, beautiful moment only had to do with the love he felt for her.
"I love you too."
Her voice was trembling and there were tears in the corners of her eyes. But she was smiling, so he guessed that was a good sign.
And when he rolled her on her back and lay down on top of her, it felt so right. As if he was born to do this. Born to love her. To be with her.
He wasn't sure how to touch her, so he asked her to show him. He had always been a quick learner, but never had his motivation been as high as right then.
And when the moment came, he asked for her consent. Not because he thought they were going too fast, but because he was raised as a gentleman.
She gave it enthusiastically.
And when he looked into her eyes, moments before he merged with her, a truth was revealed to him.
He needed her. In a way he could never have imagined before.
He needed to be with her. To join his body with hers. She was air and water and nutrition. She was everything that was good and right in this world, and if he ever lost her again, he might not die. Not really. But he wouldn't be living either. Not really. Because without her, he was merely a shell of everything he could be.
And so, he spent this precious afternoon giving himself to her. Making her his while he became hers. Crying tears of joy because oh, how could he never have realized how alive and loved and cherished he felt with her?
One by one the bars of his prison cell crumbled. One by one the shackles and bolts that were restraining him burst and he was certain they would never hold him back ever again.
He was free. Finally free. On top of a mountain. On top of the whole world. Bathing in the warm sunlight and breathing in the fresh air. Crying with laughter because he had never known how beautiful this life could be.
Words poured from his mouth. Words of love and appreciation. Telling her all the things he had held back from before. Because he thought that loving her would make him less of a homo novus. Because he had failed to see that he would never feel more unique than when he was with her.
And then, she cried too, as she finally dared to tell him how much she had loved him all this time. How much she had been dreaming of finally telling him without fearing that she could be too much for him.
What a fool he had been.
But no more. Never again.
He couldn't hold back anymore. Couldn't deny himself the indescribable pleasure of being with her fully. Holding on to her for dear life as he moved with her until the room was filled with their cries of pleasure.
It was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. The most beautiful thing he had ever felt.
And the view... oh dear Lord...
He was in love. With this moment. With this life. With this woman who made it all possible.
"I think, we should take the week off.", he murmured into her hair afterwards, when she rolled into him, resting her head against his chest.
"Hmm…", she hummed. "You mean… to do this? Again and again? Because I second your motion."
He chuckled.
"You're insatiable."
"Possibly."
He sighed contently as he held her warm body close to his.
"Obviously for that too.", he agreed. "But also… for everything else we missed the past couple of weeks."
"Hmm…", she nuzzled into his neck. "That sounds wonderful. We really do have a lot to catch up on."
He caressed her hair, then moved his fingers to her ear, tracing her earring.
"Do you really hate it?", she asked.
She looked at him with a twinge of insecurity in her eyes.
He shook his head.
"I don't hate it.", he assured her. "It's… unexpected. I just wish you had gotten it done by a professional."
She shrugged. "Yeah, that might have been wiser. But… I expected you to be bothered by it. After all, I changed my appearance."
"It did bother me.", he admitted. "But in the end… it feels like it brought us back together again. So, I'm okay with it. And I do think it looks pretty on you."
This turned out to be the right thing to say, because next thing he knew, Amy was kissing his lips again.
It felt heavenly and he could feel himself relax into her touch. Her hands on his face. Her body pressed to his. And her lips…
He could definitely get used to waking up to this.
"Did you…", he mumbled between kisses. "Did you mean what you said before? You really don't like your apartment anymore?",
"I don't know.", she breathed out as she moved her face away from his a few inches. "Why are you asking me this right now?"
"Well…", he shrugged "I was thinking, maybe I can help you find something new. It won't be easy to find something with a yard close by, but we can look up a few listings later if you want."
She looked up to him and grinned. "You really seem to have the most peculiar thoughts while you're kissing me."
What was she referring to? Oh…
"This is not like my question about the Flash-TV-show.", he said quickly. "There's a reason I am asking. And I wasn't thinking about anything but you. More specifically us."
"Well, in that case…", she said teasingly. "I mean, I'll probably stay here. It's close to your apartment and… for the moment I don't need anything bigger."
"I think we might.", he disagreed.
"We?", she asked, her hand momentarily stopping to caress his chest.
"Well…", he shrugged. "You used to talk about us moving in together. Leonard and Penny just got married. You don't like your apartment… it seems like the right time."
"S… seriously? But…"
"We don't have to decide right now, it's just…"
"Yes."
He smiled.
"Yes?"
"Yes.", she nodded enthusiastically. "I mean… let's not get ahead of yourselves but…"
"We can take a look at our options.", he said.
"Yeah.", she whispered and snuggled back into his arms.
"Good."
"I love this.", she sighed.
"Post-coital cuddling?", he said and squeezed her to him.
"That too.", she said. "But also… this. Waking up with you and talk about the future and… it just… it feels so real."
"Hm…", he hummed in agreement. "That's because it is real."
They were silent for a while. He was still processing everything that had happened. And maybe she was too.
"Amy?", he whispered.
"Yeah?"
He grinned to himself.
"No more penis cookies. Okay?"
She chuckled.
"That's unfair. Now that you've given me so much inspiration. Just imagine my next batch. The girls would be impressed. And jealous. You know, actually I should…"
"No way.", he said sternly. "You will not feed them cookies inspired by my…"
"No, you're right.", she said and giggled. "My mouth should be the only one to ever sample you that… intimately."
He almost felt relieved, but there was something about the way she said it…
"You're no longer talking about cookies…", he realized.
"Boy you really are a genius."
"Vixen."
He kissed her hair.
It was surreal. Holding Amy in his arms. Naked. After making love. Pondering all the things that were yet to learn about pleasuring her and be pleasured by her.
He couldn't wait to find out everything about this new aspect of their relationship.
"You know what, I could stay like this forever.", she yawned.
"Well, that's too bad. Cause I am taking you out on a date tonight."
"Really?", she asked.
"Of course.", he nodded.
Oh yes, he would take her out. He would have her take him to his apartment to pack a suitcase and get dressed. He would take her to the zoo. And then for ice cream. And then back to her place.
They would sit down and talk then. Because even though everything felt perfect right now, he would not be taking any risks.
Maybe, if the time was right, he would ask her the question he had wanted to ask for a while. And maybe then, he would make love to her again.
He stretched out his arms, then looked at Amy who had her eyes closed again and seemed to be slowly drifting off to sleep again.
Oh yes, he had a lot of plans. For today and for all the days that came afterwards.
But as he lay there with her in his arms, Sheldon Cooper decided that all of his plans could wait.
Just a little bit longer.
