Goodbye

"Sammy, I have a problem."

"You're not kidding; laundry hasn't been done in like… weeks." Sam said, sounding disgusted as he searched for a pair of socks that had some white left to them. "If this is what mine looks like, I don't even want to imagine yours."

"Dude, I'm serious." Dean ignored the bag of dirty clothes that were tossed at him, sidestepping out of the way as he headed for the bathroom. "I need you to help me."

"With what?" Sam tossed aside the socks in question, wondering if he had a pair of sandals. Who needed socks? "Maybe we should just throw everything out and start over. Buy new stuff. It might be cheaper than trying to save some of this… healthier too."

"Sam, I need help divorcing my wife."

"These boxers could be toxic."

"But neither of us could remember that stupid town, and now she's looking it up with her social. Which means she's going to probably get smacked in the face with the knowledge she's married to a wanted murderer."

"Your boxers are definitely toxic, Jesus, Dean…"

"And if dad finds out, he'll probably kill me. If Jane doesn't first."

"Why would dad kill you?"

Dean groaned, giving serious thought to punching Sam's overly large head. "Did you not hear anything I just said?"

"No."

"I'm screwed. Just… bury me now. She's going to find out any minute now… and-"

"I can't pronounce it, but I found it!" Jane had just burst in, a scrap of paper in her free hand. With her not free hand, she was tugging up her jeans. "If I'm lucky, we'll be divorced real damn soon."

Sam dropped the laundry he had been about to label nuclear waste. "What?!"

"Jane!"

She finished buttoning her pants before folding her arms over her chest. "You didn't tell him?"

"Obviously!"

"Wait… you two-" Sam raked a hand through his hair, looking back and forth between the glaring couple. "Married? Seriously?"

"Well, not for long. I'm filing for divorce." Jane informed him, ignoring Dean's muttered 'shut up'. "Apparently we've been married for seven years. I knew there was a reason I don't drink tequila."

"Jane, shut up! Sam, I can explain this-"

"How Dean?" Sam dropped down on the end of his neatly made bed, not entirely sure how to even begin wrapping his mind around this. "You've been married for… seven years? Seven? You were only twenty, and… and when would you even have time to-"

"You and dad went on that trip." Dean sighed, knowing the cat was out of the bag. "I was supposed to be doing five states in five days…"

"And instead you were doing Jane."

"Hey!" Jane was tempted to throw something at the younger Winchester, her brother-in-law, something heavy preferably. "That's not true!"

"Entirely," Dean amended, unable to keep a grin off his face. "We spent more time out of bed then in it."

She picked up the nearest item, which was an unused plastic ashtray, and hurled it at Dean's head.

He cursed when it got him. "Damn it, Jane!"

"Don't be such a jerk, Dean." Sam moved to run interference when it looked like the oh-so-happily married couple were about to get face to face in a decidedly non-kissy way. "I'm guessing this wasn't a, uh, planned marriage?"

"Man, we were so drunk, I'm surprised we even made it back to our hotel room without getting lost, robbed or arrested."

She had to agree with that one.

Sam was still having a hard time with this. "And you… forgot to tell us?" Obviously, not true, but…

"No man, I didn't forget… well, I mean, I did eventually. But I just assumed she'd file for divorce and it'd be done. I didn't realize she wouldn't find the marriage certificate… or forget."

"I had had a lot of tequila, Dean." Jane said dryly.

"Sweetheart, you damn near drank me under the table." He smirked, pushing Sam out of his way as he moved towards her. "So, about that divorce?"

"I'll file as soon as I get home, got an address?"

"I have a P.O. box."

"That'll work."

Sam was shaking his head, slightly disturbed by the exchange. "You two have problems."


"Well, I guess this is it."

Jane nodded, throwing her bag into the backseat of her car. "Yeah, I guess so." She made sure everything was in its place before straightening up, looking at him thoughtfully. "I can't decide if I'm glad I met you or pissed about it."

"Well…" He smiled, reaching out to finger her bobbed hair. "For what it's worth, I really like your hair."

That brought a smile to her own face and she shook her head. "Always with the jokes, yeah?"

"Yeah." He cleared his throat, letting his hand drop to dangle uselessly at his side. "You should probably get going, sweetheart. We're hitting the road, things to do, demons to slay… you know how it is."

"I know, I wish I didn't, but I know." She took his hand, smiling shyly. "Be safe, Dean. And… try not to marry anymore girls, or at least do it sober."

"Nah, you're it for me, Janey. My one and only." Now he was definitely teasing her and was rewarded with a gentle squeeze. "Alright, enough of this sentimental crap. Go on and divorce me, find a good man and have like, two or three kids."

"Uh yeah, no." Jane pulled away, rolling her eyes. "I think I've had enough of men, like… seven years worth."

"Low blow, I'm the best damn husband a girl could hope for. Don't ask for nothing but sex and then go my merry way."

"This is true." She chuckled, now palming her car keys. "As fun as this has been Dean, it's time for me to go. I hope you won't take offense if I said I hope I never see you again."

"Nah, I don't think I would, Janey." He stepped up to her, raising his hands to cup her face. "Now give me one last kiss and get the hell out of my life."

Smirking, she pressed her lips to his chin.

Well that was just shit and he gave her a real kiss, one she wasn't likely to forget this time, and for some God forsaken reason, he already knew it was seared in his mind. "Goodbye Jane."

"Goodbye Dean."