Advocating For Demons
"I thought you knew he was popping in to annoy me?"
"How would I have known, Jane?"
"He's your angel."
"He didn't tell me he was making house calls to my wife."
"I am right here."
Jane and Dean both turned away from each other in order to look at Castiel. He was simply standing there, looking as apathetic as usual. "We know." They both said crossly.
"Honestly, Dean," Jane went with ignoring Castiel for the moment, the fleeting thought of 'is it blasphemy to ignore an angel' flicking through her head. "I thought you knew, not to mention you weren't returning my calls."
She had tried calling, and she was right, he hadn't returned any calls. He had still been… prickly. "Fair enough." He grunted, nodding to show he wasn't angry. Not with her anyway. "Cas, you can't just pop into women's bedrooms."
"Why not?"
"Because man, it's just… rude. It's rude, okay? Especially since Jane is a married woman, it's-"
"Rude." Jane supplied, the corner of her mouth curving upward.
"Yeah, that. What'd you need to see her for anyway? Don't you have babes in Heaven?"
Castiel looked confused for a brief moment. "I do not understand."
"Women, Castiel, hot women."
"Dean, leave him alone…" Jane was trying not to giggle, not in front of the confused angel.
"Fine ass-" Dean felt her hand clamping over his mouth and stuck out his tongue, licking her palm.
"Ewww…"
"Jane's already on her way, Dean ain't going to be any good to you right now. She left last night, she should be there any time now."
"Oh, you mean she's done, with uh-"
"Being cursed? Yes, thank God. I tell you, living with that woman is a pleasure most of the time… emphasis on most. She calls it advocating demon's rights."
"Advocating for demon's rights?" Despite the fact that his brother was acting like a pansy and it was both amusing and terrifying, Sam found himself chuckling. "Well, that's one way to describe it I guess. Why doesn't she, ah, hunt when… you know, she's playing lawyer?"
"Says it's gross. Don't ask me, Sam. I'm not a woman and thank God for that. Sick, disgusting creatures."
"Totally."
"She bakes cookies though… I do like that."
"Bobby, are you advocating?"
"Am I wha- Idjit." Bobby hung up.
"Are you really as big a terror as Bobby and Dean insist?"
"Nice to see you too, Sammy." Jane grinned up at him as she got out of her 'piece of shit' Ford, reaching out her hands and making a 'gimme' gesture. She was rewarded with a huff and him stooping down to reluctantly hug her. "Don't mind me, ass end of the hormonal imbalance that is my period. And yes, I am. I'm only nice when it's almost over."
"It's almost over, right?" He did not want to spend his hunt with only a PMSing it woman for company. God, would she even be able to hunt without doing something… girlish? He made a face, wondering why he was even thinking about these things. Having a woman as part of the group was really messing things up. Didn't TV shows and movies gloss over this crap?
"Sure, last day for it is today, and it's barely even here. Can we talk about Dean and not about my tampon habit?"
She had gone from sweet sounding to cross in a second, Sam pulled away before she grew claws and fangs. "Bobby give you the run down?"
"He called about an hour ago. Says Dean has something called ghost sickness. Just what is wrong with him exactly?"
"You'd have to see it…."
"Well, best show me then."
Sam pointed down the parking lot.
Jane turned and followed his gaze. She spotted the Impala and began walking towards it, hearing a very annoying song as she got closer. But the visual was cute. Dean was laying on the front seat doing air drums to Eye Of The Tiger, aww. She pounded her fist on the roof of the car, eyes widening when he jumped.
"Jane! Not cool!" He gasped, a hand over his heart as he stared up at her, moving into a sitting position. "What're you doing here? I thought we had an agreement. You stay home when you're advocating for demons and you don't try to choke me out with a cord of rope." He looked nervous, eyeballing her and then the bag over her shoulder suspiciously. "You don't have rope now, do you?"
"Do you all call it that?" Sam interrupted, wondering if he was the only one who hadn't lost his mind.
"Shut up, Sam." Jane ordered, watching as Dean extended his arm out the open window, frowning. "What happened?" She demanded, studying what looked like… they looked like scratches. "Did you do this?"
"I don't know, and no."
"So I talked to Bobby, and he sent her." Sam pointed at Jane, unhelpfully.
"You have ghost sickness." She informed him.
"Ghost sickness?"
"Yeah." Sam sighed, watching his brother's eyes widen.
"God, no."
"Yeah."
"I don't even know what that is, man."
What followed was the most awkward conversation Jane had ever experienced. She gave them both the run down from what Bobby had told her, and then Sam had pieced the rest together, and they both had come to the same conclusion. This was only affecting people who were… jerks. Dean could definitely be a jerk.
"Basically Dean, they were all dicks."
Dean looked offended at that and glared up at his brother. "Are you saying I'm a dick?"
"Dean," Jane had had enough. "You are a dick, get over it. We have about twenty four hours to fix this or you're going to die."
"Again." He swallowed hard.
"You threw a flashlight at a cat."
Dean clung to the freshly retrieved flashlight, his face pale and clammy, and he was shaking. "Yeah, I know. It scared the crap out of me."
Jane exchanged looks with Sam, who was pinching the bridge of his nose. "Dean, it was a cat." Why he had been brought along was beyond her, if Sam honestly thought Dean was up to hunting right now, he was just as out of his mind as Dean was. "Darlin', you have to calm down."
"Accent." He muttered, but nodded.
The next minute or two was a total disaster. They found what may have been evidence, Dean had ripped something off a wall, and the entire mill went nuts. The EMF reader wouldn't work, not with Dean around, but it was now quite obvious that the place was haunted.
Jane looked at Sam, who was looking at Dean, who was looking beyond Sam. She turned, as did the younger Winchester, in time to see what was definitely a ghost. Sam took a shot at it and she watched as Dean ran out of the mill like his ass was on fire. "Dean!"
"Hey!" Sam took another shot before chasing after his brother, Jane right behind him.
They found Dean crouching behind the Impala, drinking from his flask.
"Yeah," Jane sighed, leaning back on the trunk. "This is the place."
They had had to call Bobby in. Smartass crank that he was, Bobby had already figured they'd need him so he had already set out. They were at the Mill, they being Sam and Jane. Dean was on house arrest until this was over. He was not only a danger to himself, but to them, and neither was keen on trying to figure this out when they had to worry about Dean running off whenever something spooked him.
Which was everything. He had gotten freaked out by two toddlers on three wheel, plastic trikes.
"Howdy Sam, Jane." Bobby nodded at them as he walked over to the Impala.
"Bobby." Jane bobbed her own head.
"Where's Dean?"
Sam cleared his throat. "At home… sick."
"Have his hallucinations started yet?"
"Yep, they sure have." Jane sighed.
"We have under two hours Bobby, what do you got for us?"
"Buru Buru."
"Towards the end, what'd you see?"
Jane pulled her head away from Dean's chest, where she had been comfortably listening to the sound of his heart beating, beating normally, not pounding like a jack rabbit. She looked up at Dean, a bit curious herself as to what he had seen.
"Besides a cop beating my ass?"
"Seriously."
Jane didn't miss the way Dean's jaw tensed for a brief moment.
"Howler monkeys. Whole room full of them."
She pinched his side, frowning when he looked down at her and mouthed 'liar'.
He smiled, it didn't reach his eyes. "Enough about the howler monkeys, tell me again about Jane going buck wild in Baby."
