Set during 5:12 Swap Meat. This is definitely a very short, filler chapter. I've been working on updating my notes and trying to establish a timeline since I kinda messed it up with the addition of Jane. Promise the next one will be better.
85: Definitely Not Sam
"Yeah, shake it up you two." Dean watched, appalled, as Jane and Sam both shook their Health Quake salad shakes… he shook his head, wondering what the hell was so great about rabbit food. Trying to ignore their shared exasperated snorts, Dean turned his attention to his bacon burger and chili-cheese fries. "So, you know, poltergeist aside… Donna looked pretty good, don't you think?"
Sam grinned around a mouthful of his rabbit food, sparing a sidelong glance at Jane. "Still got the hot's for the babysitter?"
Jane poured a second cup of dressing into her salad, giving a particularly vigorous shake afterwards. "I had the hot's for my P.E. teacher in junior high, he was gorgeous."
"Okay, that's just weird." Dean shook his head, trying not to imagine that one, eyeballing her. "Was he one of those guys who wore the shorty shorts?"
"Wait… guys wear shorty shorts?"
"Um, guys, back to the Donna thing…" Sam interrupted before they could get into some weird clothing conversation revolving around gym teachers. He liked sleeping properly at night, without disturbing images plaguing his dreams.
"Oh yeah. She's doing good, you know? With the husband, her kid… this whole thing being thrown at them and they're still hanging. It's… it's good."
"Yeah."
"You uh, you ever think you want that? Wife? Rugrats?"
The look Sam shot Dean would probably have been amusing if he wasn't also busy slapping Jane on the back, trying to dislodge something she was choking on. He outright laughed when her ranch and lettuce flew out of her mouth and across the table, pelting Dean's burger. "That's not my thing anymore." He passed his sister-in-law a napkin. "Besides, I have you two, to live vicariously through. You know, if you guys ever want to give me a niece, or nephew… after the apocalypse thing."
This time, Dean was prepared for the water that was coughed his way, shaking his head. "Shut up, Sam."
"You started it."
"Shut up, Sam."
"Dean, he's in here!" Sam had been gone for two hours, and Dean, given their current apocalypse situation and the devil's meatbag, all that noise, had not been okay with it. In fact, he had probably blown up Sam's cell using both his own and hers. "God, you jerk!" She walked over to punch him in the arm. "Learn to answer your damn phone!"
"Where the hell were you?" Dean demanded, walking in behind her, nudging the door shut with his foot and shook his head. "We've been calling you for hours."
"I picked up some burgers." Sam walked over to the table, grabbing the bag and holding it up. "Bacon burger turbo, chili cheese fries, and a salad, right?" He grinned at them. "I didn't mean to freak you guys out, I just lost track of time."
"Don't let it happen again." Dean had taken the bag, eyeballing its contents and grinned. "Two hours to get a burger, man?"
Sam just shrugged.
Jane was staring at him, frowning. "You had me worried."
"Oh, uh, honey? I'm-"
When he had hugged her at 'honey', that was weird enough. When Sam's hands strayed a bit too low for comfort, Jane was curious because Sam did not grope her. Ever. Manhandled her a time or two, seen her semi-naked, but there had never been any groping. She wiggled out of his grasp, managing what she hoped wasn't to tense a smile. "So, a salad huh? Aren't you the best brother-in-law a girl could have?"
"Oh… oh, yeah, sure, best there could be."
She did not miss the way his eyes dropped to her wedding ring and turned slightly, not missing how he then did a quick look at his own finger.
"Since when do we call Jane 'honey'?" Dean popped a fry in his mouth, looking bemused. "She's not a honey, doesn't fit her. Not to mention, Sammy, it sounds wrong coming from you. You sure you're all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. And you're going to want to eat that on the road."
"Why?"
That was not Sam. The near butt grab, calling her honey, backing the Impala into a dumpster of all things… and now Sam knowing about Maggie Briggs. He knew a lot about Maggie Briggs. What really, really cemented it for Jane though was when Sam began singing along with Bob Seger, to Dean's 'music', the music he tended to not care for.
She hadn't been overly paying attention to any warnings from her Psychic Handicap, but now… now she completely dropped whatever shields she had learned over the past few years and 'listened'.
Definitely not Sam.
What was both amusing and worrisome was the fact that Dean hadn't picked up on it yet. Dean, who knew Sam better than anyone else, had not cottoned onto the fact that this was someone, or something, wearing a Sam suit. Jane had decided she would keep an eye on imposter Sam and try to figure out what had happened to their Sam. She was going to do all this without saying a word to Dean.
He could figure it out himself.
