Hadrian James Potter-Black was greeted by the goblin called Griphook who stood there and waited.
"May your enemies' heads separate from their bodies and the gold in your vaults flow like a river."
And then many things happened at once.
An alarm blared throughout the bank, alerting them to the fact that Harry trespassed into the bank. Griphook's eyes turned into pink hearts at the words of Hadrian James Potter-Black. At the same time, a lemon drop (enchanted with a compulsion charm by Ableist Dumbledork) came out of the goblin's rear end. He looked at Harry with reverence, as if Harry's simple greeting made him like a king— no, a god.
As the warriors of the goblin nation barged into the passageway, they were met by a flustered Griphook and Hadrian James Potter-Black.
"Har-"
"May the blood of your enemies turn to gold, and their offspring live as your property."
"It's him! The Goblin Friend!" one of the warriors exclaimed, staring into Hadrian James Potter-Black's avada© kedavra© orbs.
At his words, the other goblin warriors put down their weapons, turning to Hadrian James Potter-Black.
"What is your request, Lord Hadrian James Potter-Black Gryffindor Slytherin Ravenclaw Hufflepuff Hogwarts Evans Gaunt Peverell Lestrange Delacour Hogwarts Windsor Tudor Plantagenet?" another goblin warrior asked.
"I wish to perform an inheritance test. It appears that I have inherited a lot of arbitrary and fanmade titles, and would like to confirm this," Hadrian James Potter-Black replied, his avada© kedavra© orbs darting around the room.
The goblins obliged, with Griphook picking a small needle for the procedure. Hadrian James Potter-Black gave the signal, and the needle pierced his palm, drawing a drop of blood which was placed onto a sheet of magical parchment.
Hadrian James Potter-Black saw the words appear on the paper, the parchment expanding to accomodate all the words.
Lord Hadrian James Potter-Black Gryffindor Slytherin Ravenclaw Hufflepuff Hogwarts Evans Gaunt Peverell Lestrange Delacour Windsor Tudor Plantagenet's Inheritance
Father: James Fleamont Potter (pure-blood)
Mother: Lily Potter (née Evans) (pure-blood)
Titles:
Lord of Potter House
Lord of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black
Lord of Gryffindor House (by blood adoption)
Lord of Hufflepuff House (by blood adoption)
Lord of Ravenclaw House (by blood adoption)
Lord of Slytherin House (by conquest)
Lord of Hogwarts (by blood adoption)
Lord of Evans House
Lord of The Noble House of Gaunt
Lord of The Noble House of Peverell
Lord of Lestrange House (by conquest)
Lord of Delacour House (by marriage)
Duke of Edinburgh
Duke of Hadrian's Wall
60 others
Vaults:
Potter Vault:
199,700,200 galleons
10 invisibility cloaks
5 longswords
8 daggers
50 wands
20 grimoires on light magic, countercurses, etc.
1 trunk
Black Vault:
25,520,000,800 galleons
20 grimoires on dark magic, horcruxes, rituals, blood magic, etc.
Gryffindor Vault:
16,256,314,159,330 galleons
A copy of the Sword of Gryffindor
A copy of the Necklace of Gryffindor
A copy of the Cloak of Invisibility
Slytherin Vault:
25,520,000,800 galleons
Key to the Chamber of Secrets
Peverell Vault:
200 copies of the Resurrection Stone
10 Focus Stones, produced by Ignotus Peverell, modified by Severus Snape (inspired by another fic)
20 others
Properties:
Potter Manor
12 Grimmauld Place
Evans Estate
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Peverell Manor
"How have I not discovered this?" Hadrian James Potter-Black replied, after ten hours of reading.
In response, the goblins took out a letter by none other than Dumbassdore himself.
Dear Griphook,
Harry James Potter is not to discover his heritage, inheritance or magical power at any cost. This is because he needs to stay my little puppet in the 100% black and white fight against Mouldyshorts.
From,
Albus Percivel (sic) Wolfstar (sic) Brainless (sic) Dumbledoor.
Hadrian smirked. "Well, he's failed. My superpowered and totally not Gary Stu self will end Crumbledork's manipulative plans once and for all!" Using wandless magic, he apparated near Diagon Alley, having charmed a tiny purse to hold the large amount of galleons he had inherited.
The first thing he did was go to Knockturn Alley, because he was a changed, grey man. Hadrian didn't see the war as light and dark. He saw that there was also the enlightened third side, with the patronizing of muggleborns, the eradication of pureblood culture except for the parts that benefit our hero and the fact that Slytherins weren't evil, they were misunderstood. Hadrian, while adventuring around the alley, saw a wand shop and entered.
"Who are you?" the wandmaker asked, a kindly old woman who maybe looked somewhat attractive in her younger years.
"I'm Hadrian James Potter-Black, thank you," Hadrian replied.
At that point, he used a time turner (one of the items in the 20 unmentioned vaults) to send an order to her 2 hours earlier. After returning to the present day, he gladly accepted the order for a new wand because his phoenix-holly wand was charmed by Alveolus Struggledore to pretend to recognize him. How dare he fake a wand connection, that senile manipulative coot!
But Hadrian didn't have time for the fool. He had to replace his wand. After two tries, the wandmaker wheeled out a tray made of yew, atop which sat a long, pointy wand stick.
"14 inches, basilisk bone, philosopher's stone core, stiff," the wandmaker declared.
Of course, because he was Hadrian Potter-Black, the wand instantly recognized him as its true and eternal master for eternity.
After buying a new wand, Hadrian went to a couple more stores to buy potions and new attire. His clothes were all acromantula silk with a pale blue tone, with 20 pockets per square inch and 200 strengthening charms placed upon them. The potions gave him a growth spurt, removed his scar, and made him the epitome of male hotness.
As he left the stores, he casted a simple Lumos spell, which reminded him that he forgot to unblock his magic. He dashed back to Gringotts with surprising speed, and asked as a Goblin Friend to help unblock his magic.
"Okay," a female busty goblin called AssClapper replied.
Hadrian pricked his hand, and as the blood went into the paper, it began shaping into words.
Lord Hadrian James Potter-Black Gryffindor Slytherin Ravenclaw Hufflepuff Hogwarts Evans Gaunt Peverell Lestrange Delacour Windsor Tudor Plantagenet's Blocked Magics
Wandless Magic – 99% blocked
Wordless Magic – 99% blocked
Stag Animagus – Blocked
Phoenix Animagus – Blocked
Basilisk Animagus – Blocked
Welsh Green Animagus – Blocked
Hungarian Horntail Animagus – Blocked
Hippogriff Animagus – Blocked
Flobberworm Animagus – Unlocked
Dog-Dragon-Phoenix-Basilisk-SnakeFace Animagus - Unlocked
100 others
Metamorphagus – 95% blocked
Golden Super Saiyan Patronus – 100% blocked
Veela Inheritance – 85% blocked
Merpeople Inheritance – 95% blocked
Vampire Inheritance – 100% blocked
Basilisk Inheritance – 100% blocked
Dragon Inheritance – 100% blocked
Inheritance – Unlocked
Malaria Inheritance – Unlocked
SARS Inheritance (even though that didn't exist in 1995) – 100% blocked
400 others
Reality-Bending – 99% blocked
"How is this possible!" Hadrian asked.
"The author," AssClapper replied.
"Oh, Dumbledore's getting it now!" Hadrian fumed, before suddenly smirking. "Oh, I have just the plan for that."
"But first, we have to remove the blocks," AssClapper helpfully informed Hadrian James Potter-Black. The goblins charmed a phoenix to carry Daphne Greengrass, Hadrian's crush, straight to Gringotts and they proceeded to undergo an ancient ritual together to remove Hadrian's (and as Daphne found out, her own) blocks on his magic. This ancient ritual which was 100% canon took ten years to complete, but because of Hadrian James Potter-Black's time turner it only took one second to the outside world. Hadrian James Potter-Black and Daphne emerged, both mentally 25 but still physically 15. They linked hands and walked out of Gringotts to await their return to Hogwarts.
