A/N: Set during Season 6: The French Mistake. Apologies for how long this took, and admittedly this chapter is a lot of lazy writing. However, I'll be posting 119 along with it, so yay?
118: Supernatural, Take Two
You will watch over them, make sure they keep themselves occupied. But you must always watch your back Jane, watch their backs. Just because your pursuer cannot use his abilities does not mean he won't have other means at his disposal.
The fact that Castiel had sort of let her in on this being some sort of bullshit from his end had Jane sending guessing the angel. Usually, she was sympathetic towards him. He had his hands full with the war raging in Heaven, and yet he still -mostly- came when Dean called him. He still put up with the demands and the jackassery that was Dean Winchester's unappreciative ass. But… there was something off, and she had been sort of sensing it for awhile, though she hadn't said anything to anyone about it. She knew wars were messy business, she could only imagine how a celestial one played out, so she had tried to keep her thoughts to herself, who was she to judge? However, this situation Castiel with Balthazar's help, was just shady.
"Do you have the key?" She asked, looking at Sam intently. She watched as he uncurled his hand, reaching out to take it. "Look, I don't know what that douchebag said to you guys because my had was on FIRE."
"Uh, war in Heaven, consolidating shit, and Balthazar got a lung shredded. He was… busy." Sam said after a moment, looking down at his own hand. "I hope you're not my Ellie." He had a line from a ring and was going to hazard a guess that he was married.
Dean's eyes narrowed slightly, remembering that damn wishing well. Sam and Jane had been 'together' very briefly and he had nearly died seeing them in what they had thought was love. "If you and Sam are married in this… hell-hole- Cas!" They'd get this sorted, and Jane would be back with him where she belonged and he was going to rip out Balthazar's other lung. He was mentally rambling and checked himself, taking a deep breath. "Thank God, what is all this, huh?"
Jane and Sam both watched in silence as Castiel made his way to them, his head tipping the side.
"What did Balthazar do to us?"
"To keep you out of Virgil's reach-"
Jane already knew this wasn't Castiel, this was some actor because Cas was in their universe, their dimension and it was confirmed when 'Castiel' looked confused.
"Okay, guys, did they change the script?"
She blinked at the way his voice changed.
"Honey, did they?" He looked at her. "Because this is way off course from what I got."
"Honey, you-" Dean pointed at Fake Cas. "and her," Now at Jane. "are honeys?"
"We're honeys." He began unbuttoning the shirt, revealing a patterned t-shirt and was shaking his head, smiling. "So where we running lines or…?"
"His name is Misha and you're honeys." Dean had taken that script, eyes narrowed. "For once, why can't you just be single in these alternate realities?"
"I beg your pardon?" Jane planted her hands on her hips, a black eyebrow raising. "Exactly how many times has this happened?"
"Let's see… the one time with Sam, with the giant suicidal teddy bear, you remember that?"
"I remember the teddy bear… and I died."
"Okay, that was seasons ago, you two. What are we talking about Ellie?" Misha's smiled had remained, it just had a confused curve to it.
Dean ignored him. "And then you and Castiel were actually knocking boots in this alternate, potential future Zachariah sent me too!"
"That was the Croatoan Future arc, remember Ellie? Where Dean was sent there, and 'Jane' and 'Castiel' were a thing." Misha wrapped his arm around her, kissing her ear. "It was your favorite, and those cabins-"
Jane was totally lost and she was squirming, trying not to alienate Ellie's husband from Ellie but she wasn't Ellie. This was so confusing. Had she said angels were dicks? She managed a smile, ducking her head like she was shy and really hoped Ellie was that way, pulling away from not-Castiel. "Okay, yeah, I remember." Dean had some explaining to do later.
"Just once. It's like, it's like lazy writing!" He was going to bean Misha. "And each time this happens, I'm usually a giant dick!" He growled when his brother and his wife both began laughing. "Chuckle it up, you two."
"Hola, mishamigos," Misha was Tweeting, out loud. "J-Squared… got me good."
Dean was laughing now, pointing at Jane. "You're married to that!"
"You did well, Jane."
Dean was not amused. Neither was Sam to be honest. They had gone through this whole bullshit, confusing mess to be decoys. They had been trying to sort out getting back to their reality, then running from Virgil, on TOP of having to deal with whatever lives their counterparts were living. "You were in on this?" How many times was his wife going to hold information from him? "Janey, sweetheart, I'm not going to lie, this shit is getting old fast."
"You owe me at least four more of these." If he wanted to start keeping a tab, she figured she was owed quite a bit for the Sam thing. "I was only in on… a little bit of it."
"I will explain when I can." Castiel said, sounding impatient.
"No, you-" Dean let out a frustrated half-scream when the angel disappeared. "Friggin' angels!"
