A Katarina Vacation Arc
"So cousin," Iosefka said as they went down to the cold room to get some ice, "do you have any plans for the future, now that you've graduated from the Academy?"
"Hm… well, I think I missed out on the summer harvest, but I think I can still plant for fall?" Katarina said.
"…" Iosefka said as they descended the stairs, the steps inlaid with wooden boards with crosshatch patterns to prevent people from slipping. "That's… I was thinking more like what you wanted to be for the foreseeable future…"
"Well, I'd like to become a better farmer," Katarina said. "There's still a lot of things I need to learn about farming. I can still only do a small field. I can't be considered a proper farmer until I can take care of a huge field, with lots of different crops."
"Really? That's it? Your big ambition is farming?" Iosefka said.
"Well, I'd also want to not be killed by someone with a sword," Katarina said.
"I think most of us want that," Iosekfa said dryly. "So…that's it? All you want is to not die and be a farmer?"
"Oh, I'll probably die someday," Katarina said. "I just don't want to get killed. It's probably painful."
"Probably," Iosefka agreed. "Especially with a sword."
They reached the bottom of the stairs, where a heavy door stood. Iosefka pulled the lever on the floor next to it. gears whirled, and the door spid back, letting a blast of cold air wash over them. Katarina took one of the lanterns on ashelf above the switch, checked the oil, and lit it with a flint parker.
The ice-making magic tool stood in the corner of the cold room, but they didn't need to activate it right now. still, Iosefka made sure the mercury and blood was sealed and water hadn't gotten in as Katarina, with experience born from breaking a bunch of people's noses, began to cut from a block of ice, then put the block in a basin before she covered the ice with a cloth and started breaking it with a hammer and chisel.
"So, what's this surprise about?" Iosefka said as she began to cut more ice while her cousin hammered.
"I'm not telling," Katarina said. "It's supposed to be a surprise, after all."
"It's not going to be syrup on shaved ice, is it?" Iosefka said. "Because every guest that finds out about the ice magic tool keeps trying to tell us about how to make syrup on shaved ice."
"No, it's not going to be syrup on shaved ice," Katarina said. "I don't even know how to make syrup!"
"Hmm…" Iosefka said. "So, a farmer?"
"Yup, a farmer!" Katarina said. "That way I never go hungry and I can share my delicious crops with my friends."
"That's… why not be a doctor or an academic or a writer…"
"Ah, I probably wouldn't be a very good doctor," Katarina said. "You have to study and read a lot to be a doctor, and I don't think I can do that."
"You were just telling me yesterday how much you liked to read romance novels," Iosekfa said.
"Yes, but that's fun reading, not boring reading!" Katarina said. "I barely passed in the academy even with everybody helping me, I definitely won't pass whatever tests you needs to pass when you're studying to be a doctor."
"Don't you have a Medicinal Magic course at the Academy? How'd you pass the test for that then?" Iosefka asked.
"I crammed all week, and then after the exam, I forgot everything I learned since I didn't need it anymore," Katarina said.
Iosekfa nodded. "Yes, that… sounds like you, cousin. I suppose you don't believe in planning ahead."
"Oh no, planning ahead is important!" Katarina said. "If you don't plan ahead, you won't be able to adequately rotate what you raise in your fields, and it'll end up fallow."
"Ah. I stand corrected, then," Iosekfa said. "Think this is enough ice?"
Katarina considered the pieces on the basin. "Looks like it," Katarina said. "I'm glad Aunt Leona was able to make it, I know my drawing wasn't very good."
"You realize she made it a magic tool right?" Iosefka said. "The crank is gone, there's a lever that makes it spin and spin and spin."
"Even better!" Katarina said.
Katarina carried the bin of ice by herself, making her cousin blink in surprise and shrugged, closing the door behind them.
"Is this alchemy?" Adella asked, watching Katarina from the other side of the table kitchen table. The servants had retreated uncomfortably as the masters of the house crowded around.
"Nope!" Katarina said, mixing the sugar and milk and cream. "Just cooking."
"Don't you need more fire for that?" Adella said. "Pretty sure you need fire to cook something."
"Is this improper behavior?" Olga asked Mili as Katarina enthusiastically mixed with a large wooden spoon.
"What do you think?" Mili asked.
"I'm inclined to say 'yes' because it's Cousin Katarina doing it," Olga said.
"Hmm?" Katarina said. For some reason she had cream on her nose. "What was that?"
"Nothing dear," Mili said. "We're waiting for you to finish."
They watch as she poured half a jar of strawberry jam into the bowl and mixed some more. Then Katarina poured it into the magic tool she'd asked Leona to make. Truthfully, she hadn't asked for a magic tool, just a sealed vessel that had a crank so you could mix the contents while it was shut, but Leona had added a part, and now it was a magic tool that mixed the contents for you.
Katarina put the brass vessel into the large basin full of salted ice, then sealed the vessel shut with latches. After making sure it was sitting properly, she activated the magic tool.
Olga grabbed her Aunt Mili and pulled her down with her as she dove behind cover. So did everyone else.
As Katarina looked around in confusion, everyone slowly crept back up.
"Oh good, it didn't explode," Matthew sighed in relief.
"Eh?"
"So absolutely no plans beyond being a farmer?" Iosekfa said as Katarina deactivated the magic tool and unlatched the top.
"Hmmm… keep reading the nightfall books?" Katarina said as she looked inside the brass vessel. The took a spoon andpoked the pink cream inside. To Iosefka's surprise, it was very stiff, as if it had been whipped or mixed into frosting. It was also radiating cold. "Ooh, that's nice. Just a little longer."
Iosefka watched as Katarina dumped in the rest of the jar of strawberry jam, then sealed the vessel again and activated it. She could hear the mechanism inside making noise as it struggled to churn the cream that by all rights should be frozen solid.
"We should get more ice," Katarina said. "Can you help me again?"
"Sure," Iosefka said. "I have to ask… you don't seem to intend to get married since you don't think your engagement is serious, you don't want to become an academic or any other profession that needs more studying… "
"Yup!" Katarina said as they descended to the cold room once more.
"So… you're just going to stay home, eat a lot, indulge your hobbies?" Iosefka said.
"And farm!" Katarina said. "I grow good crops if I do say so myself. They sell very well!"
"Ah!" Iosefka said as they descended. "And you use the money from that to…"
"Buy more seeds, fertilizer and new farming tools," Katarina said. "Mother doesn't like me using my allowance for farming things."
"Ah. So, you use the money from your hobby to keep doing your hobby," Iosefka said. "Hmm… Cousin, I'm not trying to be mean or insult you…"
"Okay…?"
"But from the way you explain it, you're sounding a lot like those fat, pampered nobles in the capital who do nothing but spend money indulging in their vices that you sometimes hear stories about," Iosefka said. "You know, fat lord so-and-so who was driving his lands to poverty to pay for his extravagant lifestyle, that sort of thing."
Katarina suddenly froze, and it wasn't because of the chill in the stairway. Iosefka watched as Katarina's eyes widened, staring sightless at the stone ceiling sloping down in front of her.
"Oh my god…" Katarina said, not specifying which old dead god she was talking about. "You're right… I'm just living at home, spending my parent's money on my hobbies, getting fat… I'VE BECOME A NEET!"
Iosefka had to wonder what being tidy had to do with anything.
Everyone stared the pink stuff in the little bowls, which all had little cold mists wafting from them.
"Well, I hope you like it everyone. You should all eat it while it's cold, it won't be any good if it warms up." Katarina said. "Let's dig in!"
With varying levels of wariness, people took one of the bowls and a little spoon, watching Katarina to see what she did. Seemingly oblivious to their looks, she was happily enjoying the pink thing, eating it like it was a custard.
Matthew hesitantly took a spoonful, noting it seemed firmer than custard and very cold, then bravely put it in her mouth. Then her eyes went wide. She then started eating it almost as fast as Katarina was.
Everyone took that as their cue to finally taste the strange pink thing.
Strawberry Ice-Cream
A delicious confection that grew in popularity in both Hasard Duchy and Morpork Duchy at roughly the same time. Requiring Water Magic to make, it is a highly prized delicacy. Restores a small amount of HP and FP, but increases frostbite buildup.
It is said to be a creation of the Saintess Katarina, filled with her love and kindness towards all. Comes in several delicious flavors.
Cut content: Why I Became A Knight
"Hey Mashu," Katarina said as they finished that morning's sparring, using towels to wipe off their sweat and drinking water, "why did you become a knight? I mean, it's not like your parents said you had to get a job or else they'd stop letting you live here. Were you saved by a knight once or something?"
For a moment, Matthew was silent, starring down at her water. "It's not a very interesting reason…" she muttered.
"Well, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Katarina said. "I was just curious."
They sat in silence. Well, semi-silence, as Katarina was really enthusiastic about drinking her water.
"Well, we better get cleaned up, we don't want to be stinky during breakfast," Katarina said. "Mother will yell at us if we are."
She made to stand up, and was surprised to find Matthew's hand on her elbow. Curious, she sat back down.
"Have you ever read 'The Three Knights'?" Matthew asked.
"Oh, I remember that one! The one where the Fire Magic Knight, the Wind Magic Knight and the Water Magic Knight had to revive the three ancient golems so they could save the Light Magic Princess," Katarina said. "That one was really awesome! And that twist ending. I made me really sad, but I totally understood why she felt she had to do that, and why a nice guy like the Warrior Pontiff kidnapped her."
The gush nearly made Matthew gush right back, but she restrained herself. "I went through a knight phase once, read a lot of novels about knights," Matthew said. "So Aunt Sheryl took me to work and introduced me to the knights she knew. I… um, I now realize I made a pest of myself back then, asking them if they'd ever gone on quests and fought monsters and whatnot… and I now realize they told me a lot of tall tales, but at the time I didn't really understand." Ugh, why had she ever believed that story about the knights regularly having to go down into caves to fight mushroom people? "Then Sir Galad– he still had both hands then– gave me what he said was a book about knights, 'The Way of Sunlight', which I now realize is actually a satirical guidebook about the how to be a knight of the Warriors of the Sun… but I didn't know that at the time, so I read it, and it talked about proper etiquette when saving maidens from towers, and why it's important to make your shield shiny, and how those bucket helmets they like to wear are the best-designed helmets ever, even though everyone and their mother knows you can stick a sword through the eye slit…"
She caught herself, but fortunately Katarina didn't look disgusted. "Anyway, so I got given a joke book about how to be a knight and thought it was the real thing," she said, feeling herself blush at the admission. "I kept quoting it at people all the time… and ugh, now that I remember, it sounds so silly… and then one time mother suggested that if I like the book so much, that maybe I should become a knight."
"And that's when you decided to become one?" Katarina said.
"Not right away," Matthew said. "But I think that's when I seriously started thinking about it. I read a lot of books about knights, ones that weren't novels or satire and… well, it helped put some of the satire into context. Then I started going with Aunt Sheryl more, but this time I just… asked them what they did. Most people see knights, and all they think about is how they're great warriors who know how to fight and go around wearing armor. They don't know how much work the Warriors of Sun put in to helping people who've lost their jobs or homes because of sudden storms, of the effort they put into trying to keep people from having to beg on the streets or sleep out in the cold. "
"It's not just them," Katarina said. "A lot of knight covenants are really nice. They were all really helpful when we needed to get those poor Ashina women clothes and things. "
Matthew nodded. "Well… one day, Sir Galad got his hand cut off in the line of duty, and father wasn't able to put it back. You could tell he was really sad about having to step down for a while, since his hand needed to heal and he needed to adjust to having only one hand. He was talking about maybe getting a squire, keep himself occupied and still do his knightly duties and… well I just blurted out, 'Can I be your squire?'."
"And that's how you became a knight?" Katarina said. "You just… sort of said it one day?"
Matthew looked aside. "Yes…"
"Huh…" Katarina said. "You make is sound like anyone can be a knight."
"It's still a lot of hard work," Matthew said. "Lots of people try to be knights every year and fail because they don't try hard enough or just aren't willing to learn."
"Wow…" Katarina said. "You must have worked really hard, Mashu!"
Matthew drooped. "I still can't beat you at a spar," she muttered.
"Eh, that's only because you're using swords," Katarina said. "If you had your table with the legs cut off like you did that first time you'd beat me."
"It's a shield!"
"Shield, right," Katarina said. She tilted her head. "Do you think it was worth it?"
"I… think so?" Matthew said. "I mean, now that I'm a knight, I thought I'd join a covenant, but… "
