A Katarina Vacation Arc
"We would be glad to have you," Aunt Mili said.
Matthew blinked. "Really?" she said, surprised it had been that easy. She had thought it would be more difficult to convince her aunt to let Matthew go back with them when they returned to the duchy of Morpork.
"Of course," Aunt Mili said. "I'm sure Olga will appreciate having you nearby when she starts attending the Academy next year, and as I understand it you wish to learn of the covenants of the kingdom to find one to join, do you not?"
"Ah, yes," Matthew said. Huh, this was a lot easier than she'd thought it would.
"Although, I must beg a favor of you," Aunt Mili said.
"Yes?" Matthew said, wondering what it would be and hoping it wouldn't interfere with her intention to protect her cousin from the terribleness around her that she didn't even seem to notice.
"When you can, could you accompany Katarina?" Aunt Mili said. "Katarina's so innocent and trusting I fear some black-hearted person might trick her into… well, any number of terrible things. And while her brother usually protects her, I fear that between helping my husband with running the duchy and his own affairs, he might not have the time."
Oh. How convenient. "I would be honored to do so, Aunt Mili," Matthew said. "Rest assured, I shall watch over her as long as she is in my care, to the best of my ability, and ensure no harm or dishonor befalls her person. My shield shall feed on the blood of any who dare."
For some reason, Aunt Mili smiled. "You know, that's the second time a knight has sworn that to me," Aunt Mili said. "Come, I shall assist you with the hard part to come."
Matthew blinked. "The hard part?"
"Telling your mother," Aunt Mili said dryly. "Between us, we should be able to convince her within a week."
Matthew frowned. "You exaggerate, Aunt Mili. Mother is a reasonable person. I'm sure if we explain to her–"
"NO!" Leona cried, holding Matthew tightly to her chest, glaring at her younger sister. "You're not taking my beautiful little baby girl away from me! She's too young to be away from home!"
"Mother, I'm twenty," Matthew said, voice someone muffled as her cheek was pressed again her mother's huge… magic tools. "And a knight. I'm a grown woman."
"YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY CUTE LITTLE MASHU!"
"Please stop calling me that, it's bad enough Cousin Katarina does it!"
"NEVER!"
"Why did I not merit this reaction?" Olga said, looking jealous.
"You didn't' really think I was going to let you go, did you?" Leona said. "I just said that to keep those Ministry people off our backstabs."
"Sister," Henry said, "we actually do need to send Olga to the Academy, you know. It's the law."
"We'll rebel! I won't let this kingdom keep taking my little baby girls away from me!"
"I'm with mother on this," Marie said. "Let's rebel."
"No, no rebelling!" Saloman said. "Dear, please be reasonable about this!"
"MAKE ME!"
Mili raised an eyebrow at Matthew.
"You were right, Aunt Mili," Matthew conceded. "Mother, please. Can't we talk about this like reasonable adults?"
"I'M A PARENT, WE'RE NEVER REASONABLE ABOUT OUR CHILDREN! ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHER IS LYING OR DOESN'T REALLY LOVE THEIR KIDS!"
"That explains so much," Watson muttered.
"Hush, you," his mothers said.
This was the scene Katarina walked into when she barged through the door holding a large brass container.
"Hey, everyone!" she greeted. "I just finished the mango ice-cream and it's delicious! Who wants a bowl?"
"We were like sisters, Mili!" Leona cried. "I trusted you!"
"All right, first, we ARE sisters," Mili said patiently. "Secondly, I'm not betraying your trust, your daughter simply wants to see more of the kingdom and as her aunt I'm happy to help. Third, you have no idea how to use that estoc, please put it down before you hurt yourself."
"Never! I have the high ground!"
"Fourth, get off the furniture, you're going to give some poor servant more work trying to get your footprints off it," Mili said.
"Hey Cousin Adella, Cousin Iosefka," Katarina said, "What made you want to learn how to be doctors?"
Leona was not to be found all afternoon.
"Huh," Matthew said as the household began to congregate for dinner, "I thought mother would still be making a scene."
"I was able to gain reinforcements," Mili said.
The door opened, and Leona and Saloman walked in. Leona had a wide, serene smile on her face, singing about the sweet mysteries of life and how she'd at last found them. Saloman looked haggard, drawn and exhausted, one hand rubbing his hip.
"There, I did my part," he said tiredly.
"Thank you, brother-in-law," Mili said.
"I just want all my girls to be happy," he said tiredly, giving Matthew a smile. "But come home to visit, all right?"
"Yes father," Matthew said, bobbing her head.
They watched as Saloman asked for water. Lots of water.
"He looks really tired," Mathew noted. "Why is he drinking so much water?"
"Probably dehydrated," Mili said. "Be warned, you might have a new sibling soon."
Matthew blinked, looking at her aunt. "Huh?"
It did, in fact, still take the rest of the week to convince Matthew's mother to let get go.
"You better write lots and lots of letters!" Leona admonished. "You can't be like that mushroom who only writes after nineteen years has passed!"
"I said I was sorry," Mili said.
"Hush you, you still owe me twenty years of letters!" Leona said.
"Why does the number of years keep increasing?" Mili said.
"You want to make it twenty two?"
"That implies it twenty one now."
"Twenty three it is," Leona said. She turned back to Matthew. "You better write, you hear me? Every day. I expect to start receiving letters the day after you leave."
"Now that's just unreasonable," Mili said.
"You raise your daughter your way, I'll raise mine," Leona said.
This was the scene Katarina walked into when she barged through the door holding a large brass container.
"Hey, everyone!" she greeted. "I did it! I finally managed to make chocolate ice-cream! Who wants a bowl?"
"You can have Matthew if I can keep Katarina," Leona said. "We'll trade. I'll give her back in eighteen years."
For a moment, Mili was silent.
"Hmm?" Katarina said. "Mother? Auntie? Did I interrupt something?"
"Hush a moment, Katarina dear," Mili said. "I'm thinking…"
"Eh?"
"What can I help you with, Katarina?" Henriette said as her niece by marriage was admitted into her private study. The door was shut by her maid, who stood in her usual place of vigil before the door.
"Um, well, I was wondering if you could give me some advice auntie? "Katarina said as she was admitted inside. She looked around. Wow, Aunt Henriette must really like novels. The entire bookshelf behind her was full of Night Fall books.
Henriette put down her pen, and set aside whatever she'd been writing. "Advice about what, dear?"
"Um… actually, I have to ask, do you, um, do anything, auntie?" Katarina said. "You know, the way Aunt Leona does magic tools and Aunt Sheryl does knight stuff?"
"I do, actually," Henreitte said, slipping the half-written sheet she'd been in the middle of into a folder with several other more completed sheets. "Why do you ask?"
"Um, what is it you do?" Katarina asked.
Henriette smiled. "Can you keep a secret?"
Katarina nodded enthusiastically.
Henriette nodded. "So can I," she said coyly.
Katarina, unlike many before her, didn't give Henriette a dirty look. "Oh, okay," Katarina said. "Um, well, can I ask then… why do you do it? Whatever it is?"
Henriette raised an eyebrow. "I do it because I enjoy it. And because I hope it makes some people happy that I do it for them."
"You… protect people from unhappiness?" Katarina said.
"I suppose you can put it like that," Henriette said. "Though personally, I believe it's more boredom and frustration than unhappiness."
"Ah," Katarina said, crossing her arms and nodding. "Okay, thanks auntie! You were a big help!"
"I was?" Henriette said, bemused. "Well, that's certainly… novel."
She waited until Katarina had left, then she nodded to her maid. Trusty Morie Arty closed and locked the door behind Katarina as Henriette took her papers out of their folder and went back to writing…
Mili and Leona were eventually talked out of a daughter swap.
