I had to chase Dipper all the way into the forest because he suddenly ran there, nearly in tears, after talking to a scout lady.
And now he's here, bench-pressing with a small tree branch. Why... Why is he like this?
"Dipper, let's head back to the shack, buddy. The forest isn't that safe to..."
"Ray, I have to get some chest hair! Or at least get manly or something! Ugh, I don't get it! Is it physical, or mental? What's the secret?"
He then started chewing on the jerky that he probably bought from a vending machine on the street. Being manly, huh? I had problems with that when I was young too.
Some jocks used to call me gay, girly, and many other names just because I was reading a book! Ugh. Bad memories. Guess those guys just... don't understand how knowledge gets passed down through generations. They probably have fewer than two brain cells.
As someone who already experienced it, I feel responsible for giving him some lessons about it.
"Like I said before, Dipper... Manliness often depends on your physical form. Right now, you're all wimpy and thin, with no visible muscles or body hair... But that's just natural. Your 'manly' body comes with testosterone and many other hormones that kick in a lot when you hit puberty. You're just not at that age."
"But I have to! I need to get manly. Or else Mabel and Stan will always make fun of me! And Wendy will also... well, forget the last part. But I need to try."
Man, the size of this kid's ego is just... well, he's young. And he's a Disney show character. He probably has some traits that make him ask for trouble.
...I decided to stay next to him until he eventually gave up. I mean, the opponent... no, the 'Daemon' sent the attack just yesterday, right? So today will probably be safe...
-RAAAAAAAAh!
"Ah, right. The episodes usually already have their own monsters, don't they?"
"Ahh! What are you talking about, Ray?! We should... No, my hat!"
A loud roar, accompanied by a small earthquake, came out of nowhere and startled us. I fell to the ground, barely avoiding getting smacked in the face by a random shrub, quickly shifting my position to dodge it. I thought my curse was over, but I guess the bad luck remains... That could've been nasty.
Dipper landed safely, but his hat didn't. Due to the wind pressure created by the roar, it flew toward a collapsing tree, almost getting crushed. I don't understand his obsession with that souvenir Stan gave him. There are thousands of them at the shack. Why should he risk his life for it?
"...Rargh."
Is it time to run? I hear the monster right behind me. I can also see its shadow. Hm, a large body, a set of horns resembling a cow, the disgusting stench of sweat, and an uncleaned room with a pint of cow feces...
I looked behind me. And yep, it was a minotaur, or at least it looked like one. I'm surprisingly calm right now. Well, the thing in front of me was...disgusting, but it wasn't horrifying compared to the lake monster's hallucination and the 'Dark'.
"Please don't eat me! I haven't showered! In like a week! And I'm all elbows! Elbows and gristle!" said Dipper. Wait, what? Haven't showered for a week?
"What the... You haven't showered for a week? What is wrong with you!"
"YOU...!"
At that moment, while we were arguing with each other, the minotaur growled. Surprisingly, it spoke English, which I never thought would be possible with the vocal cords of a cow. I thought the upper half of a minotaur's body was a cow... And it is, then... is it only the vocal cords that are human?
"Gonna finish that?"
"...Uh, the jerky? No! You can have it!"
The minotaur grabbed the jerky bag and started to pour it down his mouth like... drinking a glass of water. I'm not sure whether I should be surprised by the fact that a cowman is eating... steak jerky, or there is a monster that is actually... not bloodthirsty.
Dipper also watched with awe.
"...Excuse me, Mr...Minotaur, do you know that thing is steak jerky? Is it right? Because technically you're related to..."
"I'm no Minotaur! I'm Manotaur! Half man! Half... Taur!"
"...Hm, You know what? Maybe you're right. Minotaur is a single entity
, as it's the name for a half-man, half-bull creature that was born from Minos. It'll be weird for you guys to be called Minotaur when you guys are not born from Minos... But still, Taur means bull in Greek. You are still eating an animal that is... extremely related to you. You fine with that?"
"You talk too much, Child!"
...The 'Manotaur' interrupted my analysis, grabbed me like a baby, and placed me far away from him. As I was dumbfounded, Dipper quite excitedly approached the Manotaur.
"You, smaller child! I smell... emotional issues!"
"I have problems, Manotaur. Man-related problems."
The Manotaur patted its leg, and Dipper rested his head on it. He then started to talk about Stan calling him a wimp and how he failed the manliness test... Complaining. Why... is he being so comfortable in front of that anomaly? I mean, I am pretty calm here, but I won't rest my head on the leg of a creature that resembles a really buffed minotaur. Those things ate humans in the myths!
"Hey, you know, you seem pretty manly. Maybe you could give me some pointers?"
"Very well. Climb atop my back hair, Child!"
"Uh... Okay."
...Then Dipper just rode on the back of the Manotaur and disappeared because it ran at an incredible speed I couldn't react.
...I don't think Dipper will die in this episode... But still, it's better to be sure
than sorry...
"...I hate the forest."
I started to walk along the path that the Manotaur created by running.
-...tick!
"..."
And I didn't forget about this feeling I've been getting ever since I started to follow Dipper. Something is after me. I just don't know what it is...
The Daemon is on its cool time, so maybe it's just a character that was originally here? Hm, wait. That's weird. This world also has logic, and there's really no reason for these anomalies to exist. I mean, those sent by the Daemon make more sense because I can just think that the Daemon made them to kill me, but what are these guys?
Why are there gnomes, ghosts, and monsters in the first place? Is it a coincidence? Does it have something to do with Bill Cipher? Or the Daemon? Or both?
...Either way, I don't care. I just hope it's not that vicious to me.
...It's been a few hours since I've waited still in this man cave. Dipper's doing surprisingly well with the 'manotaurs', they are acting all weird and doing crazy stuff.
So I had some time to scan through my copied version of the journal and speculate what is following me right now.
"The hide-behind. I know this thing."
I have felt something following me, I heard some kind of sounds, but I could never really see what was coming... At least according to the journals, this is a sign of the hide-behind following me. The hide-behind literally hide behind trees and eat the humans they stalk. Originated from the folklores of the lumberjacks...
The journal explains no weakness...but, I can do two experiments right now. One, I follow the original folklore and find a way to survive. If that works, it's more likely that this monster is made by the daemon because the daemon's weapon is the nightmares and horror stories of human beings. If the results are otherwise, maybe I should just accept the fact that this place just randomly made these horrifying creatures.
Second. If I die, I can check how my checkpoints work. I have some theories, but...Still. I'm not so sure yet. Last time I tried to find it out but failed because I didn't die in the dark.
"HUUUAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHH!"
Dipper was screaming, letting out a war cry inside the cave. He's doing fine, I don't have to worry too much. Now I need to search for the real legends about the hide behind...I wish the internet works here...Ah, it doesn't.
"I'll have to go to the town library then. Dipper would do fine on his own. I'll just quickly test this...
-...tick! tick! tick! tick! tick!
"Ahhrgh..."
The pain pierced through my lungs and out of my chest. Black, obsidian-like claws were going through my body, and dark red blood was spilling out of it. My brain got all fuzzy...
"...TIme...to test...it..."
I couldn't scream much because the claws went through my lungs and now I've got a hole in it... Without any more power left, I just collapsed to the ground and closed my eyes.
The last thing I saw was an animal with pitch-black fur, opening its large jaws with yellow teeth, trying to bite my head.
So, I'm dying. Been a long time since... But it still feels terrible.
My eyesight is blinding... I...
[Critical user function failure detected. Life signal... Negative. Commencing respawn sequence at the last checkpoint...]
...wait, what? What is this? a screen? Wha...t... No, it doesn't make any...!
[Calculating amount of caused time paradox... 0. Expurgation complete. Restoring Data...]
Nonono, don't fade away?! What is this thing?! What are these words?! I...!
[Restoration Complete.]
"Ahhh!"
"Ray?"
"kid?"
...The moment I gained back my sanity, I checked the surroundings. Dipper and Mabel were sitting at the diner with Stan, looking at me with a weird look.
...Today morning, huh? So this probably means there's nothing special about the checkpoint yet...
I just have to do the whole thing over and over again until I find out.
