Rafael leaned against the door to the unlocked bathroom, the knob in easy reach. Across the room, Sadako was relaxing, or as much as she ever relaxed in Rafael's presence. Her face was smooth and expressionless, but Rafael had grown up around that woman, and went to school around nobles. He recognized the wariness hiding in her eyes from the mirror, and the jealousy lurking next to it from Mary's when she looked at… well, practically everyone else.

At least it wasn't outright contempt. While many of the women who were Maria's older wards treated him like a wild dog that may attack at any moment, Sadako was slightly less afraid of him. She was used to having him around, and while she'd tense at any sudden moves, the fact she hadn't done anything to him those nights Maria was away– how long had she stood there next to the bed?– meant she wasn't overly nervous of him. So, just a big dog, then.

He saw fear in her eyes too. The fear of being discovered, of this livable, tentatively safe balance collapsing around her…

Rafael had to wonder why he'd looked in the mirror so much. Had he been a masochist or something? Because he didn't think it had been for self-contemplation.

"Sadako not talk good, Mister Rafael," Sadako said, despite the fact she spent as many days as she could with the children in the classroom and learning to talk from them. Maria had told him about how diligently her chores did her work so she could attend classes. "Sadako must work."

She gave him a smooth, very Anne-like look, then turned around and primly started to go back to gathering the laundry. She didn't hurry, didn't rush, and didn't look over her shoulder at him again. Very deliberately didn't. It was the action of someone waiting to be attacked, expecting it, and ready to fight back as soon as it happens.

Rafael stayed near the bathroom door.

"I want to thank you, Sadako," he said. It seemed a safe enough way to open the conversation.

She paused, glancing at him with hidden suspicion. "Thank Sadako?"

Rafael nodded. "Thank you for everything you do for Maria. Without you, she'd be too busy to take care of herself. You know how she is, working all the time."

"It is honor work for Lady Maria-dono," Sadako said, just the faintest bit of pride in her voice and bearing. "Not need your thanks." 'Not want it', her non-tone implied.

Rafael nodded. "Are you getting enough sleep? I know you don't sleep as long as Maria's awake and you're always up before her, so I was just wondering–"

"Sadako sleep," Sadako said curtly. Even in the bright light of day coming through the windows, her hair fell in a curtain over her face, leaving only a single strip of her face visible, showing one eye. Even from this distance, Rafael could tell that eye was drooping sleepily and slight bloodshot. "Sadako sleep, then Sadako work. Now, Sadako work." she turned back to do just that.

"How are your nightmares?" he said.

She paused. "Nai-to-meru-su? Sadako not know word, Mister Rafael."

"Bad dreams," Rafael said. "Bad dreams at night."

Her fingers twitched, too tense, too stiff. "Bad… dreams?"

"Bad dreams," Rafael repeated, nodding. "Nightmares. Monsters in your head that live on even when the real one is dead."

This time it wasn't a twitch. It was a full body shudder.

"No one told me, if that's what you're wondering," Rafael said. "But it wasn't hard to guess. You always seem to be up when I wake in the middle of the night for water or to go to the bathroom. "

"Sadako not have bad dreams," Sadako said, a bit too firmly.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about," Rafael said. "I'm pretty sure everyone living in this house who wasn't hired from the village has them. I had them too, after I started living here."

Sadako both managed to look completely serene and tranquil and also convey a look of great disdain at his statement. Was that some kind of Ashina thing? "Mister Rafael not understand."

"Probably," Rafael said. "I probably can't understand what it's like to taken away from the only home you've ever known. To never be able to see your family again. To have nothing but hate and revenge to keep you from falling into despair. And to have some part of you knowing that it's all just a lie, that there's no hope, that it's despair all the way down."

Sadako glared at him, one hand fumbling for her knife. He could see half of her mouth, the half visible under her eye, contort in a snarl. He looked towards the window, pretending her didn't see. Though if she came closer, he was diving into the bathroom.

"Yeah, I probably couldn't understand what it's like to live constantly in fear," he said, staring out the window at the unfamiliar and yet much-changed grounds. That woman had kept a garden, but it had been a bland thing of grass and bushes. She'd been too sickly for flowers. They made her ill. " To be in the power of someone who doesn't see you for who you are, but as something they own. To be kept in a cage, and no one caring, only brought out because someone wanted you to make them feel good. To have to force yourself to go along with it, because you couldn't fight, because you were too weak, because even though life was so terrible you wanted to die… death was still too much to contemplate. "

He remembered that life. She'd never touched him, never taken him to her bed, but he'd been violated nonetheless. To live on, to have to call the murderer of the only one he'd loved 'mother' and smile at her for it while his mouth defiled that precious word…

Rafael tore his gaze from the window to find Sadako staring at him as if she'd never seen him before. "To be freed, finally, because one woman cared," he continued, more to himself than to her now. "But to still be trapped in your own mind. But you don't have anger anymore, because they're all dead. You don't have revenge anymore, because she's brought you justice. So there's only despair, because you can't get your old life back. But there's work. So you do it… and hope when night comes, you're tired enough you don't dream. But somehow, she makes it all better. She saved you, and she keeps saving you, and so you can't help be fall. You want to be worthy. You want to pay her back. So you do what you can to make what she wants happen…"

There was silence as the two started at each other.

Rafael shrugged. "Yes, you're right, I don't understand," he said. "But I do know that if you go to Maria and tell her you have nightmares and ask for her help, she'll find a way to help you. That way you can stop looming over the bed like a ghost and get some sleep." He gestured at his eye. "You look like you need it."

Rafael turned and headed for the door, and for once Sadako didn't tense as he moved.

As he reached it, Sadako said, "What… Lady Maria-dono save you?"

He stopped, and just stared at the door. A part of him felt like a poisonous swamp filled with goatmen and evil trees, trying to get her sympathy like this. Another part hoped if she did, she'd be less likely to knife him to death.

Finally, Rafael turned. Her hands, he noticed, were folded in front of her. Her head was tilted slightly, and he could just make out the glint of her other eye through her hair. Still, he stepped aside from the door, and walked around until the bed stood between them.

"It was… ten years ago?" Rafael began. "Ten years ago or so now. I used to live with my mother in the town not far from here…"


"Nightmares?" Maria said as Sadako finished getting her undressed for bed.

"Yes, Lady Maria-dono," Sadako said, head beginning to bow down before it stopped and rose up to look at Maria. "I… not sleep well. That place… haunts my dreams. When Lady Maria-dono found me… could not sleep, because bad dreams. Wanted dreams to stop."

"I see," Maria said as her insides writhed. She should have realized. How many more of her older wards were having nightmares? All of them? Many were still up when she made her infrequent walks down the halls at night. She could hear the faint sounds of their activities through their doors, and she had thought it was only because in the hours of night they wouldn't disturb the children with there… enthusiasm, but if it was because they didn't want to sleep…

She thought of the women who had sworn themselves to her, still roaming the halls in the darkness, wide awake…

She thought of the children, who all liked to slip into each other's beds to keep warm while sleeping, who competed over who could sleep with their head on Shio's tail… Shio, who never minded, even though it left her tail stiff in the mornings…

"Mister Rafael-san say tell Lady Maria-dono," Sadako said. "Lady Maria-dono… makes bad dream not happen. So can sleep again."

Maria glanced at her fiancé, who was sliding into bed, a book in hand as he leaned on the headboard. She was amused to note the book was upside-down when he opened it, and it took some moments of him frowning down at the writing before he turned it back the right way up. "He did?"

Sadako nodded as she handed Maria a damp cloth for her to wipe her arms with and knelt down to use another to start wiping Maria's legs. "Mister Rafael-san say… you can save. Say Lady Maria-dono can help Sadako sleep."

Rafael was still reading as Maria slipped into the bed with him and Sadako went to put the damp cloths away in the bathroom. "What are you reading?"

"Hmm?" Rafael said, looking up from his book. He looked sideways at Maria. "Oh, it's Night Fall. The first book in the series, written 120 years ago. I figured I'd finally give it a shot." He set the book aside. "So, did Sadako tell you about her nightmares?"

Maria nodded. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I wanted to talk to her about it first," Rafael said. "It was just a guess on my part she was having nightmares. I mean, you were raised a commoner, so I guess you wouldn't know, but it's not normal for your maid to stay by your bed all night. At the very least it would be two or three maids taking shifts. I confronted her, we talked, and… Well, then I wanted to give her the chance to tell you herself. And she did."

They didn't? But in Cainhurst… actually, that would explain it. Maria didn't remember the maids very well, only there was always one nearby. Had she simply assumed it was all the same maid? That was…

Shame and guilt bloomed inside her as she realized she had been overworking her maid. Or at least had been negligent and letting her maid overwork herself. It was much the same thing. She needed to make this right! She couldn't do anything about the nightmares of everyone else right now– she doubted just running out and disturbing her older wards' intimacy would help them go to sleep– but she could do something for her maid!

When Sadako came back from the bathroom and moved to her customary place standing next to Maria's side of the bed, Maria turned to her. "Sadako," she began, then paused. She'd been about to dismiss the woman for the night and tell her to go to sleep. But that was the problem, wasn't it? she couldn't sleep because of nightmares. What was Maria supposed to do? How was she supposed to take care of her maid?

Maria needed advise. Someone who was an expert in how to deal with your maid.

Unfortunately, she didn't have one of those, so she'd have to settle for the next best thing.

"Excuse me," Maria said, rising up to leave. "No, stay here Sadako, I'll be right back." She opened the door and swiftly left the room.

A few moments later, she was back. She nodded to Sadako as she took the long night robe the maid held out, wrapped it around her sleepwear, and headed out again.


"Lady Katarina, please wake up…"

Katarina woke up to her stomach growling for some reason. "Cookies…?" she muttered, half-asleep.

"No cookies," she heard, and it took her a moment to recognize Maria's familiar voice, speaking low. "I need to talk to you. Can we step out to the training area?"

Blinking her eyes blearily, Katarina found herself getting pulled out of bed and out into the dark training area between the dorms. Outside, she could hear the sounds of the nightshift's armor as the patrolled the area. It took a few minutes of being walked around the packed dirt square for her to wake up, and even then she was left staring at Maria in bleary confusion. "Is something the matter, L- Er, Dame–"

Maria held up a hand. "Lady Maria will do, this isn't… I mean, this is… a personal matter, Lady Katarina."

Katarina blinked several times before she straightened, alarmed. They were back to Lady Katarina and Lady Maria? This WAS serious! "Oh no, what happened Maria-chan?" She just barely kept her voice down, several weeks of having to go to the bathroom through a room full of alert-even-while-asleep knights having taught her to 'KEEP IT DOWN, NEWBIE!'.

"I… need advice," Maria said. She took a deep breath. "Lady Katarina, my maid is having nightmares. She's been having them for what could have been months, but I only just found out. She… Sadako hasn't been sleeping much, or so she says."

"Oh, that's awful!" Katarina said. Huh, no wonder Maria's maid always looked like she would kill you seven days after watching her video tape. "How can I help?"

"I… I've realized I don't know as much about taking proper care of my maid as I thought, Lady Katarina," Maria admitted, looking down in what must have been shame. For the seemingly-perfect, high-spec, amazing Maria to admit that… she must really be in a pinch! "So, I apologize for the late hour, but you were my only hope. If… if Miss Shelley were having nightmares and couldn't sleep, what would you do?"

Katarina thought back to the time after Anne's horrible, horrible, terrible, bad man of a father had tried to take Anne away to marry her off to some stranger and had been told that he couldn't have Anne back after he'd cast her away. She'd noticed Anne had red eyes in the morning and, after some pressing, Anne finally admitted she'd been having nightmares of the time she'd been trapped in a burning building, the night she'd lost her mother. Katarina remembered what she'd done…

"Okay, as it happens, Anne did have nightmares once," Katarina said. Maria leaned forward listening intently, and Katarina was just barely able to bury her glee at being the wise teacher Maria was listening to for once. "So this is what I did… "


When Maria returned to her room, it was to find that she had interrupted some kind of exchange between Sadakoa and Rafael.

Maria blinked. "Did you need something, Rafael?" Really, he knew Sadako was tired from nightmares, and here he was asking her to get him something… No, no, that was unfair, it wasn't like there was anyone else he could ask. Perhaps they should had Lasciel start staying here to attend to him too… a matter for the morning.

"No, no, just wondering where you were," Rafael said hastily as Sadako straightened. "Er, where were you?"

"Getting advise," Maria said. She turned to Sadako. "Sadako, you have sleeping clothes, correct?"

"Yes, Lady Maria-dono," Sadako said.

Maria nodded. "Get changed into them and come back here please. "

For some reason, she and Rafael shared confused looks before she bowed and left to go to her adjacent servant's quarters. Technically, Sadako still had her own room which she shared for three other women, Kayako, Hanako and Tomie, but she even though she still helped with the cleaning chores there, she mostly slept in the room adjacent to Maria's. which, Maria realized, had left her unable to indulge in the palliative her fellow wards had turned to, for she would be audible and had likely not wished to disturb Maria's sleep.

That guilty thought had time to circle Maria, shooting recriminations at her and slashing at her posterior by the time Sadako returned. She wore a light, soft and thin version of her daily clothes, over which was a blanket. Incongruously, she still had her frilly band on her head.

Rafael got to his feet. "Well, I need to go get a drink, but back in a while," he said, hurrying towards the door. He must have really been thirsty. Hopefully he wasn't dehydrated from the heat again.

Sadako's hair fell over her face so much her eye wasn't visible the way it usually was. Still, Maria knew her maid could see her. the light of the lamp was bright, after all. Maria sat down on her side of the bed and patted the space next to her, holding a hair brush in her other hand. "Come here Sadako-chan," Maria said. She held up the brush. "We're going to brush your hair."


When Rafael came back, he did so carefully, sticking his head into the room first before entering. Maria raised a finger to her lips and gestured for him to enter as she sat with her back to the headboard near the middle of the bed, sheets over her legs.

Warily, Rafael stepped inside, staring intently on the ground to watch his step so he didn't make any noise. He sat gently on his side of the bed, carefully not to make a disturbance as he pulled the sheet over his legs adjusting them until they were to his satisfaction. It pulled them up to Maria's waist, but she didn't mind. Finally, Rafael said, "Is she going to be sleeping here? From now on, I mean."

Maria looked down at her sleeping maid, curled up on her side, her face pressed against Maria's hip. She'd done as Katarina suggested, relaxing her by brushing her hair. Katarina had said she should have her maid rest their head on Maria's lap, but unfortunately that wasn't possible, since her legs were much thicker than the child Katarina had been when she'd apparently done this for Miss Shelley. Fortunately, Maria had found a workable position so that she could stroke Sadako's hair while the maid drifted off to sleep. "The bed is large enough," Maria said quietly. "This will only be for a few days, until the nightmares stop."

"Well, which one is it?" Rafael said. Maria looked at him blankly. "A few days, or until the nightmares stop?"

"Surely it won't take that long?" Maria said, still gently stroking her maid's head. "But… probably the latter."

For some reason, Rafael looked up to the ceiling. "All right… second question: are you going to be able to sleep like that? I mean, you can't sit up all night. You have a busy day tomorrow."

Gently, Maria stopped stroking her hair and wiggled downwards into the sheets, trying to lay her head on her pillow before realizing Sadako was lying down on it. as she wondered whether she could shift he pillow without waking her maid, Rafael sighed took his own pillow and stuck it behind Maria. She gave him a questioning look.

"I can get a new pillow tomorrow," he said. "Now relax." Maria lay back, and Rafael helped position the pillow just right.

As Rafael slid under the sheets, his side now pillowless, his back to Maria he sighed. "For the record, I was thinking you could talk to her about her nightmares and slowly convince her they were baseless and you would always protect her, not… this."

"Ah," Maria said. "I'm not sure that would work. Now that I recall, it seemed to greatly comfort the children when I slept with them, back when they were staying in the old servant's dormitories."

"So you're going to treat her like a child now?" Rafael said. "What about the rest? Are you going to go to each other their rooms and sleep with them so they don't have nightmares too?"

Maria blinked, tapping her lips thoughtfully.

"Maria, your silence is very ominous."

"I… have to think about this," Maria said. "I only just found out about this, after all." She brightened slightly. "On the other hand, at least this is something to be done at night. It won't interfere with any of the things I need to do during the day."

"Oh. Well, that's good," Rafael said, sounding sarcastic. He sighed. "Good night Maria. And if she has a panic attack, please remember to kick me off the bed since it might be because of me."

"Good night, Rafael," Maria said. "Thank you for watching out for her."

Rafael raised up a hand, closed into a fist of quiet resolve. "We people you saved have to stick together, after all," he said.

Maria reached for the lamp and turned down its light. In the dark, lit only by the light from the open windows, they slept.

Maria dreamed of faceless maids and blood, and things done in the dark by monsters.


A/N: So, my Pat-reon is up now at P.A.T.R.E.O.N.C.O.M -/-SCM2814. If you want to support this fic, that would be great, but no pressure. But if you do, you'll also get advanced access to my new original fiction series about a wizard on the frontier, her dungeon, and the idiots around her...