A Katarina Interlude
"Haa…" Katarina sighed as she finally stepped out of the dressing room, wearing her training armor again, which now felt so wonderfully light! Behind her, men were going in to put the pieces of the Havel Set—why make an armor out of mostly solid rock? Just… WHY?!—back in its crate, along with the other stupidly heavy armors. Katarina hadn't wanted to be insulting or anything…BUT THOSE ARMORS WERE STUPIDLY HEAVY!
"I hope it was educational for you, my squire," Dame Campbell said. "Out of curiosity, if you had to choose right now, which of those armors would you prefer to when you become a knight?"
"Either the first one I really liked or the fat one," Katarina said instantly, face breaking out into a wide smile at the thought of the latter. "They're both so comfy and cool looking!"
"Knew it," Cousin Mashu said, with a smile.
"And the fat one has a lot of space for me to store snacks!"
"Of course," Maria said blandly.
"Sister…" Keith sighed.
Eh, Keith? You were there?
"I'd advise against that," Dame Campbell said. "One roll and all you'd have left are crumbs."
Katarina stiffened, horrified at the thought. "All those cookies…" she whimpered.
To her surprise, Maria let her have the rest of the day off, and her parents, Keith and Mashu took her home to have a slightly late family lunch. Ah! It was so nice to be back home again, even if it was just for that afternoon, since Dame Campbell had made it clear Katarina was to be back at her manor that day. They even did the fancy lineup thing, with all the maids and butler and footmen and armsmen standing in rows at the entryway, bowing and greeting her with "Welcome home, Lady Katarina". Even Uncle Tom the Gardener was there, wearing a clean coat, shirt and pants!
She'll be honest, lunch was slightly delayed because she stopped and talked to everyone. It wasn't proper—Maria had always scolded her about how she shouldn't be so familiar with commoners because 'nevertheless', but these were family employees, right? As their villainous Ojou-sama, Katarina was supposed to be their stern but fair boss! And even Mother was talking to Head Maid, who was a Hot MILF whose treats were almost as good as Maria's. Sorry Head Maid whose treats used to be the top of the scale. We're on the Maria System now. Oh, but your goodies are still a solid 9.5! And the sweets you bake, too!
Yes, this was totally okay, even Maria interacted with the people who worked for her casually! So Katarina didn't have to 'nevertheless', because that was so rude!
After lunch—where mother cried again, even though Katarina did her best not to make her cry by being really careful and using all the table manners Shana had taughter—Keith took her to see her garden, which was looking wonderful! Well, wonderful for something she'd neglected. It wasn't bad, not at all, but it was clearly more than Keith and Uncle Tom could deal with…
"Don't tell Mother," Keith said quietly, "but I had Anne pack your farming clothes and Maria gave them to me. They should be in your room…"
KEITH WAS THE BEST LITTLE BROTHER EVER!
Katarina spent a fun afternoon working on her farm with Keith and Mashu, assuring it that she loved it and that the other one at Maria's place meant nothing to her, really, they were only together for the sake of the children! Ah, the Academy farm was just something to do while she was there, Katarina never even went there anymore, really home farm was number one in Katarina's heart…
Ah, second-best tools, left in the toolshed when she went to the Academy! Old reliable tools, even if they weren't the best! Old hoe, the hoe she'd used for years before Katarina got the hot new piece that she was with now, how Katarina had missed you! Even though you weren't Katarina's favorite hoe anymore, you could still be relied upon when it was time to get down and dirty!
It was a good day. AND she remembered to not track in dirt when she went back inside to get changed, so mother didn't yell at her either!
Katarina was surprised when, after dinner, Maria summoned her to the mansion.
"Normally, I would have you sleep early because of drills tomorrow," her knight said seriously, holding a book in her hands. "However, today's events have revealed a serious, heretofore unknown gap in your education. My squire—" Katarina could hear the (!-!-!) in the word "—what stories about knights do you know?"
"Well, there's the one about the Fire Magic knight, the Water Magic knight and the Wind Magic knight who had to rescue the Light Magic princess…" Katarina began.
Dame Campbell waved a hand dismissively. "No, not those romance novel stories. I'm talking stories about REAL knights. People like the Abysswalker, the original Havel the Rock, the never-to-be-sufficiently-cursed-to-the-abyss-Raime the Fume Knight, Solaire of Astora, the Bearer of the Curse, Lucatiel of Mirrah, the Ringed Knights who protect The City At The Edge Of The World… do any of these sound familiar?"
"Did Abysswalker get his hand cut off…?" Katarina ventured tentatively.
Dame Campbell sighed. "No, my squire—" yeah, Katarina could feel the loss of an exclamation point there "—he didn't not lose a hand." The blonde shook her head. "I should have realized sooner… Squire Katarina, tonight and on many nights to come, you will be learning about the knights who came before you, whose deeds—good and evil, small and great—have shaped the traditions of knighthood and are held as examples to aspire towards or wretches to avoid becoming. Normally, someone in your position would already know of this, having read about the stories of knights, but given your circumstances…" She sighed. "In addition, I will procure for you a book of their deeds for your own study, and when I am unavailable to tell you the story directly, you are to read them and then we will discuss it. For tonight, however, follow me."
Katarina nodded, following behind her knight, and reflecting that only Maria could look intimidating and serious while wearing the radish sleepwear Katarina had given her. Katarina herself was wearing a long nightgown and oversized bloomers that went down to her knees. She was a bit overdressed compared to the other knights, some of whom went to sleep in men's pajamas or even just a chest wrap and loin cloth. Some didn't bother with either, which was a bit embarrassing in the morning.
All slept with one hand on a weapon, even if it was just a wooden practice weapon.
Really, Katarina wanted to sleep in pajamas too, but Anne said Mother wouldn't allow it…
Katarina followed Dame Campbell up the stairs, to the top floor of her house. At the top, woman with Student Council armbands and wooden swords bowed respectfully to their Maria, then again to Katarina who smiled and waved back. One smiled back as well but they were still moving, and Katarina recognized the room they were approaching…
Maria opened the door into a dormitory that was much bigger than the one Katarina was sleeping in now, and it WAS 'Maria' who opened the door and not 'Dame Campbell'. there was a happy cry of "Mama!" and a rush as kids, some as young as five to as old as twelve, from dark-skinned Gerudo girls and freckled white boys and normal-looking Ashina children all crowded around Maria, each trying to get in close enough to give her a hug before making room for the next child.
"Children," Maria said, not seeming to realize she was smiling fondly. "Are you all ready to go to bed?"
"Yes Mama!" they all said, looking at Maria lovingly, even the ones who still had their mothers. The mothers who were in the room, in fact, standing back respectfully and looking at Maria like… well, like they were very respectful and crushing and would like to lewd her. Rafael was in the room too, looking uncomfortable and completely aware that there were a lot of people around who wanted to NTR his waifu, especially the horror movie meido standing near him.
Maria sat down with her back to one of the beds with a pillow to cushion it, and kids started crowding around her, dragging the futons on the floor—did Maria have this many futons before?—out of place as they lay down. Rafael got his own crowd—ooh, Homura was there, even though she was considered a bit too old to be with the children!—and Katarina was glad to see the moms and the kids together, with a few others around them to make a full cuddle pile. Even Sadako-chan had her own group, with Shio-chan resting her head on the woman's lap.
Katarina sighed, got a stool in the corner and sat down near Maria. She hadn't been allowed to lie down on the futons in case she fell asleep—
She blinked as she felt warmth against her feet and saw Shana and a couple of other kids sitting setting up around her stool. They put their pillows over her feet to cover up the smell—that was fair—then laid down and sort of gently wrapped their hands around her calves. Aw… that so cu—
"Mama asked me to make sure you pay attention," Shana said seriously. All the other kids nodded, even the one who already had his eyes closed and clearly intended to go straight to sleep.
Maria, why do you keep using your cute little kids like this?-! It's not fair! Katarina had no resistance to cute little kids!
As everyone settled down, Maria opened the book she'd been holding. "Tonight, for the benefit of Squire Katarina, I will tell you the story of Artorias the Abysswalker, for whom our king is named. In the time of myth, the not-yet-dead-god Gwyn had four knights: Ornstein the Dragon Slayer, Ciaran the Lord's Blade, Hawkeye Gough, and Artorias the Abysswalker. They were the most accomplished warriors in the service of the not-yet-dead-god, and of these, Artorias was the strongest, his skill with the greatsword unmatched… "
Perhaps it was the way Maria told it, but Katarina listened to every word, entranced. She wanted her own good doggo too!
"No, you can't have a wolf," Dame Campbell said flatly. "Wolves are a big responsibility. You need to feed them and care for them and take them on walks and teach them how to wield a sword with their teeth…"
Katarina sighed and tried not to pout. "Can I at least learn how to use a greatsword?" she begged.
Dame Campbell rolled her eyes. "Yes, I will teach you how to use a greatsword-sized sword," she agreed.
Katarina tried. She really did. She learned the greatsword—or a greatsword, since it turns out the weapon commonly called a greatsword wasn't a greatsword-sized weapon, but rather an ultra greatsword-sized one, go figure—the swings and stabs and the leaping attacks, but try as she might…
"Ah!" Katarian cried, knocked backwards as Maria's wooden practice sword struck her torso.
…it was just too heavy to parry with. It swung too slowly in her hands, used to parrying with a much lighter weapon. Sure, there was a way to parry where you held your weapon up in a guard then have it swing like the arms on a clock, but that was much more unreliable than her parrying, and left you open if you failed!
Maria sighed. "Squire, don't insist on this. Yes, you can parry with a sword, but a greatsword is much heavier than the one you're used to parrying with. It's just not feasible. Please give up on this."
Katarina sighed. Maybe Maria was right. She should just…
—So just give up—
…
Katarina blinked, and looked down at the practice greatsword, a long length of wood wrapped with padding since there was no way to make something that big safe by making it out of wood. That was just a club. And for some reason, Maria had made sure to tell her this particular practice greatsword was made with the same dimesnions and weight as replicas for the greatsword used by Artorias. N-not that Katarina wanted a greatsword like hat or anything, hmph!
Katarina tilted her head thoughtfully, thinking. It was hard, but she managed somehow.
Her training moved on, and Katarina learned how to use a spear next. It was, she found, exactly as easy as promised, since it was long and light and used two hands for control.
But on the weapon's rack next to her bed, the practice greatsword joined her hoe and wooden sword. And even though no one ever seemed to see her using it, day by day, it slowly got more worn…
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Topic: A NEW KATARINA HAS APPEARED!
In: Boards ► Fortune Lover ► Sorcier ► Maria's Estate ► Katarina's Brain
StubbornKatarina (Original Poster) (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Posted On Sep 30th 2021:
Hi, I'm StubbornKatarina. And I'm going to parry with a greatsword!
...class weapon because actual greatswords are stupid huge and are actually ultra greatstwords.
Seriously, why are greatswords not greatswords?-! After all, they're CALLED greatsword! That's just stupid!
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►KnightKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina) (Verified Saber)
Replied On Sep 30th 2021:
Greetings, fellow Katarina! Let us engage in jolly cooperation together!
►Yamada Tae (Verified Katarina) (Verified Legendary) (Verified Zombie) (Verified Idol) (Number Zero) (Verified Franchouchou)
Replied On Sep 30th 2021:
Grh. Mrh barg?
►Happy Katarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Sep 30th 2021:
Holy shit! We're multiplying! We're actually multiplying!
►ChairwomanKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina) (Verified Mod)
Replied On Sep 30th 2021:
Another one! There's another one! OMG, I don't think my heart can stand this!
►AdventurousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Sep 30th 2021:
I'm genuinely surprised we didn't get a 'stubborn' sooner. It just seems so obvious.
►TimidKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Sep 30th 2021:
Will the next one be 'pervy' or 'oblivious', I wonder?
►StudiousKatarina (Verified Braincell) (Verified Katarina)
Replied On Sep 30th 2021:
Could it be...? My dream of not being the odd weirdo who thinks... might finally come true?
End of Page. 1
