A/N: Warning – this fic has mature themes! It's rated T… just ;) enjoy!
Chapter One
Not-So-Happy Hour
It was seven o'clock on a rainy Thursday night in Station Square. Amy Rose was in a cocktail bar with Rouge the Bat, slumped miserably over a sweet strawberry-flavoured mocktail. According to the flashing neon sign on the wall it was happy hour, but Amy felt anything but. In fact she was feeling really very not happy.
Rouge was sat across the table from her, her enormous breasts spilling out of her black skin-tight jumpsuit. She took a long sip from her pornstar martini before arching a perfectly-waxed eyebrow.
"Bad day?" she said.
"The worst," Amy groaned.
Amy and Rouge had become good friends in recent times. At first, Amy had been suspicious of Rouge and had thought her a bit of a tart. But once it was established that Rouge had no interest in Sonic, they'd become friends.
Growing up, Amy had mostly spent time with Cream, a rabbit who was a good six years younger than her. The age gap hadn't mattered much back then, but now Amy was older, she didn't want to spend time with little girls like Cream anymore. She wanted to talk about boys and parties and makeup, and she just couldn't do that with Cream.
Rouge was different. She was fun, mature. Most importantly, Rouge took her seriously – she didn't dismiss Amy as some naïve little girl, like others did. Recently they'd fallen into the habit of meeting for happy hour cocktails every Thursday night – Amy lived uptown in Station Square and Rouge lived downtown, so it was easy enough to meet in the middle. Normally Amy loved their Thursday evening drinks. But tonight she was feeling too depressed to enjoy it properly.
"Let me guess," Rouge said. "Sonic broke your heart again?"
"Only in the worst way possible," Amy mumbled.
She began recounting what had happened earlier that day.
"I saw Sonic while I was out shopping in Station Square this afternoon, so I ran over to him and hugged him from behind. I must have startled him, because he shoved me away so hard that I fell back onto my butt. My butt! When I got up, I had this big dirty mark on the back of my dress."
"Now that's not ideal," Rouge said, her tone half empathetic, half playful. "If he's going to reject you then fine, but he could at least try not to ruin your clothes while he's at it."
"Exactly," Amy said. "What's worse is that Tails was there too – he just laughed in my face and said, 'Give it up, Amy – Sonic's never going to be interested in you!' I've never felt so humiliated."
Rouge waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, you have to ignore Tails. He's in that awful teenage boy stage where he thinks that being rude to girls is the funniest thing ever."
"Then if that wasn't bad enough," Amy continued hopelessly, "when I got home I found out that Silver proposed to Blaze! They sent me an invitation to their engagement party this weekend. Obviously I'm happy for Blaze," she added quickly, "but I can't help comparing my own life to hers. It seems like all my friends are in happy relationships right now – Blaze is with Silver, you're with Knuckles. Meanwhile I'm still chasing after a blue hedgehog who barely even glances in my direction."
Amy buried her head in her hands.
"Tails is right," she moaned miserably. "Sonic will never be interested in me. Why are men so hard?"
Rouge laughed – a rich, sultry sound that carried over the din of the bar.
"Men aren't hard," she said. "Men are easy."
"That's easy for you to say," Amy protested. "You're gorgeous. And…" Amy gestured vaguely at her chest area.
Rouge cocked an eyebrow. "And what?"
"And – well – you have enormous boobs!" Amy finished, exasperated. "It's no wonder all the guys are drooling over you."
It was true – at one point both Knuckles and Shadow apparently had a crush on Rouge. Rouge eventually started dating Knuckles, but she was firm in her belief that Shadow was nothing more than a friend. Shadow is far too serious for me, Rouge had told Amy when she'd asked about it.
Rouge laughed again. "The guys aren't all drooling over me because of my enormous boobs – although I admit it helps," she added. "Believe it or not, men don't just care about looks – it's your charm and personality they're drawn to. And that is something that can be worked on."
Amy looked up hopefully. "It can?"
"Sure it can," Rouge said carelessly. "Men aren't just attracted to my pretty face and killer bod. They like me because I'm fun and independent and don't take things too seriously. I'm sexy, but at the same time I don't give myself over to them too easily. So they want to chase after me and make me theirs – like a treasure hunter chases after a rare, beautiful jewel."
Rouge took a sip of her cocktail.
"Sonic isn't interested in you because you're always chasing after him. If you pulled back a little, and made him work for your affections, I'm sure he'd come your way in no time."
Amy was looking at Rouge in awe.
"Are you saying that all I have to do is be more charming and mysterious like you, and Sonic will finally fall in love with me?"
"Sure," Rouge shrugged. "Like I said, men are easy."
Amy's jaw fell open. "You have to teach me."
Rouge smirked. "All right," she said, "on one condition."
"Anything," Amy urged.
"You have to drink a cocktail – not a mocktail, a proper cocktail," Rouge said. "The kind of naughty things I'm about to tell you can only be shared between two women under the influence of a martini."
Amy pouted. "But I hate the taste of alcohol."
Rouge smiled and folded her arms. "Those are my terms."
"OK, fine," Amy huffed.
Rouge turned and began batting her eyes at the boy who had served their drinks. "Hey, waiter?"
The waiter pointed dumbly at himself, as if he couldn't believe that a woman as attractive as Rouge was talking to him, even if it was just to order drinks. She really does get a lot of male attention, Amy realised.
"Bring her a fat margherita, would you?" Rouge turned back to Amy and winked playfully. "It's a sweet cocktail. You'll like it."
Eventually the waiter brought over a drink in a glass that looked almost as big as Amy's head. Amy took a sip, wincing at the bitter tang of the alcohol – but before long she felt herself relaxing as the bubbles went to her head. Suddenly she wasn't miserable anymore but was having a good time. The possibilities brought by Rouge's forbidden knowledge stretched endlessly before her, dark and inviting.
Rouge leaned forward. "Now, listen closely…"
