Why do I fall asleep to your tears?

The morning in crisp autumn greets me yet again. I grab my camera silently as possible so not to wake the others. I've wandered off many times like this. My focus being to remove myself from the frog that looms within my throat. I want to cry and scream and plead that the people within my life are safe and well, but I know that with more danger that hope becomes diminished. All I have now is my devotion to Noct and the others. What little I can give to protect him in his time of need.

Gladio thinks I'm soft and easy, I'm scrawny with little muscle and a small amount of skill to show for it. That ignites a burn within me the slowly starts a fire, ready to burn me alive. He's right in some ways though, I'm not as strong as him, nor smart like ignis, and I have no status like Noct. Sure, I care, how can I not? When everyone reminds me of how firmly in my place I am?

I creep myself out of the tent, its light enough outside that the various monsters that lurk at night are put to sleep. Yet monsters still lurk, they're just more humanoid. I'm soft, I don't see many creatures out here as being my enemy. Since they need to live like everyone else. Noct many do not know this, but I hate the mindless killing that the hunters seem to enjoy. Mind you, I'm not opposed to meat, nor am I opposed to killing to survive but in access, we quickly forget that in this work we are at the top.

I set off down the hill to Altor slough, a slow walk to take in the morning air. A couple of Galandulas making their way back to their herd, after wandering a little too far. They pay me no mind they too have a mission. The forest floor is now scattered with leaves now that the crisp air starts on the land like a blanket of frost. Little crystals on the soft grass remind me of how early it really is. By midmorning this will all be gone.

Finally, the forest opens to vast planes of grass and water. I finally see my target waiting in from of me like a morning welcome. I'm in awe of these creatures, big as they are, they couldn't be more peaceful. From what I read in a book I stole from Gladio, they only really attack when they sense danger, or are in heat. Mating season has long since past so now they wade looking for roots in the water. Catoblepeas, what a picture.

I finally made my way to the dock, pulling my tripod and camera out of the void. I can get a great panorama of the lake for when we make it back home. As I set the camera up, I see a small speck coming out of the forest. Trailing behind it is the green tail tail sign of my chocobo. Even more surprising is the black feathers of Noct's chocobo with the prince looking wide awake.

Somewhere deep down I groan, I just need this time alone. With all of the hurtful comments and jeering for them the night before, I want to be let to my thoughts today… While Noctis had nothing to do with it. There wouldn't be him without them and sooner than later they would be joining us. I really don't want that…

Yet, somehow, he knows what I'm thinking before I have a chance to say it…

"Before you shut me out again, Hear me out!" He yells, still a little bit of distance between me and him.

I turn away, and continue to set up my camera, watching as the catoblepas start to wake and lift. They're so big, you can feel the vibration as they lift out of the water.

"I know you're pissed with us… with me… You have every right to be but if you could listen to me a moment, I promise I can make you feel better about it-"

"Noctis, before you start, you can't always be the person to smooth things over when things get tough within the group. I understand that you want to make me feel better, but that shouldn't be your responsibility in the first place. It should be the people to do the hurting to begin with." I stared at him as a matter of factly.

"I- your right but hear me out?" he asks as he meekly stares at me.

"I talked with them..." I raise an eyebrow "I yelled at them" he corrects 'ass-whole'

I smirk.

"I had to remind them who exactly chose you in the first place, and that if we are to continue together we need to stop with the bullshit and the rude behavior, especially towards you"

I turn away, It sounds great in theory but I'm reminded about how they often brush off Noct's authority. I quickly point this out

"Noct, I'm not denying that you've spoken to them and that they might have listened, but they rarely follow your orders"

"Prom, I used the voice…"

My eyes widen as I finally turn to him, he who swore to not look at us all as subordinates, asserted his authority. I just stare

"oh, come on is that so hard to believe? I had too, after I watched you practically crumble before my eyes last night. You were a mess! But you usually brush off your emotions and treat them like they don't matter. They have no choice but to listen after that!"

He continues, "You are my dearest friend and one of the only people that I trust with my life! I refuse to allow you to cry yourself to sleep at night because they couldn't set aside their egos."

As he falls silent again, I turn back towards the water again and sigh. Watching the creatures as they start to graze again as the morning sun starts its assent higher in the sky.

"You know prom, you are quieter than anyone here most days. Sometimes, after you stop laughing, I can feel the swift pain that comes after. You stare off with this lonely look in your eyes pretending that no one can hear you beating yourself down."

That last sentence fades off like a ghostly whisper in the night. and for the first time since we set off, he rests his head behind me, feeling for the crevice between my neck and shoulder. His arms encircle me from behind, reminding us of our firmly kept secret. A secret that keeps us tightly wound in eternity. We made this promise long ago before far off princesses and darkening skies caused us to flee our city before it burned.

Yet, the night cannot exist without the moon's glowing silver light, the moon cannot exist without the sun lighting the way. We simply can't exist without each other.

The air is still cool as Noct finally moves away towards the end of the dock. Grabbing his fishing gear from his chocobo; pulling his chair out of the void. As He's about to sit, he turns to me with a smile.

"Join me?"

I sigh and smile back.

"After I get this sweet picture"

"We have all morning to wait for the sun to shine again, I guess…"

I cock my head, confused.

"I will never forgive them for wiping that smile off your face when I live to see it. I told them that if they pulled that shit again, they would suffer for it"

Part of him maybe was joking, but having known him for so long, most of him was being serious, I nodded.

"I know that I can't fix how they hurt you. But let me try and dull the pain until they apologize." He reaches his hand to me.

"Does that me I have to suffer through hours of fishing?"

He smirks,

"Yep"

It's a start. His whispers.

Finally, I took a picture. Noct fishing as the gold hues of the morning graces the sky. The catoblepas graze in the marsh, and I start to feel the warm rays grace my face again.