Content Notes:

This story features college-age characters exploring their identities in a supportive/sex-friendly/consensual way. We'll see characters pushing themselves to see what they like, asexual characters exploring sex, casual relationships, casual relationships ending, casual relationships shifting to committed ones, monogamous relationships, and possibly poly and open relationships. The characters are purposefully pushing themselves and each other in the name of self-discovery, but they are doing so consensually. They are beginners, though; their advice isn't perfect. Also, while the story is sex positive, there are difficult aspects to being queer in our world, and to navigating relationships in general.
Those do come up here.

Chapter one: Motomiya Daisuke x Anami Eimi
Chapter two: Motomiya Daisuke x Ichijouji Ken
Chapter three: Izumi Koushiro x Anami Eimi
Chapter four: Still in development

Exploration

Practice

Daisuke's hands sank into a full, soft ass, indenting the pliant flesh. A low, hot moan slid free when he separated the cheeks to watch his dick plunge into the woman before him. The visual of their connection enhanced those sweet sensations in a way he was simply not prepared for.

Fuck. Normally, Motomiya Daisuke did not stifle his vocalizations in bed. But his partner was almost eerily quiet, and speaking into the silence, disturbing the void, seemed strange.

Although his pleasure soared towards its peak, Daisuke possessed enough awareness to check on his partner. Anami Eimi was sprawled on his bed on her stomach, facing away from him. Craftily, Daisuke had opened his dorm closet before she arrived, so the mirror panel mounted to the inside faced the bed. Eimi's head and shoulders were propped up by her crossed arms, granting Daisuke an exquisite view of her breasts.

Fuck. Fuck! Daisuke couldn't contain the hiss that slid between his teeth, but he managed to swallow the gasp that threatened to follow. He pushed Eimi's full buttocks up and squeezed, watching his fingers sink into and redden plump skin. He tore his gaze away just long enough to admire the arch of her back, with her rear tilted up towards him and her upper body slightly raised. He watched himself slide out, then back in. That slow, easy rhythm leaped in tempo, impossible to deny.

And still, Eimi remained unaffected, as if idly lounging. Her head tipped, and the movement drew Daisuke's eye. He watched long, dark brown hair spill over her shoulder and slide along her back.

"Eimi," he breathed. "You- You good?"

Daisuke watched her eyes snap into focus in the mirror. "Hmm?" The sound was slightly protracted, so that it almost sounded like humming, lilting and sweet.

God, why did he pick now to talk? Physically, this was easy, simple sex. Still, sweat beaded his forehead as he pushed into her, growing frantic. As much as he enjoyed playing with her ass, he swapped to her thighs for increased leverage.

Eimi tried to tilt herself so that she could face him, but Daisuke's hold pinned her down. Instead, she met his glance in the mirror. She looked vaguely puzzled. "I feel good. Sort of gooey and relaxed. Sorry, am I being too passive?"

Frankly, she was. Fortunately for Daisuke, his trust in her, the feel of her sex enveloping his, the lush luxury of her curves in his hands, and the visuals she provided were enough to compensate. He was a simple young man, easily pleased.

"S'fine." A simple young man, not the poetic sort. At least, not when he was so close to- well, so close.

Eimi's forehead furrowed as her gaze slid to the side. "You're close?"

"You can tell?" It probably wasn't difficult to guess; Daisuke's pace alone suggested imminent climax. But Eimi was sexually inexperienced, so it was best not to assume anything.

"Hmm..." She wiggled her hips, and Daisuke bit back a curse, knowing it might frighten her. Some damned feedback, at last! He dove into her, embracing the movement, working with it.

"You're harder," was Eimi's thoughtful assessment. "Hotter. And your pace is picking up."

It sounded cold, almost clinical, like a doctor ticking off symptoms. But this was the closest Eimi had come to dirty talk with him, and her friendly expression held no traces of mocking, or even teasing. She was just observing, and her smile suggested that she was comfortable with the state of things.

"Y-yeah. But you're... Not." In certain situations, that might have been humiliating. But sex with Eimi was... Different. If that bothered Daisuke, then they wouldn't have made it this far.

Eimi lifted an arm, cupping her chin with her raised palm. "Sorry," was her sheepish reply. "Um- Is there something I can do for you?"

If she had asked earlier, he would have had suggestions. But this far along, everything was going woozy. "Can, can I go harder?" All he wanted, all that he could conceive of, was pushing this to its conclusion.

Daisuke could no longer monitor Eimi's expression, but her tone was colored with a mix of curiosity and confusion. "Harder than this? What did you have in mind?"

Until now, Daisuke was stationed on his knees between her spread legs. He climbed over her, nudging her legs closer together, and braced both his knees and forearms against the bed. With more support and a wider stance came greater leverage. And the sense of dominance, of his body caging hers in, of his heat sinking into her, did not go unnoticed- or unappreciated.

"I wanna fuck you into the mattress. Okay?" He hoped it sounded hot, or at least not embarrassing. Thankfully, he didn't have much brain power to spare on wondering.

Eimi flattened against the bed, making room for him on top of her. "Okay. Let's try it."

"Good girl. Tell me if it hurts." Eimi's exhalation was soft, but this close, Daisuke felt the air leaving her lungs. Praise was the one play he had chanced on, the guaranteed way to get a reaction from her, however slight- if his timing was right, anyway.

And with timing in mind, he didn't wait for Eimi to recover. Before she could breathe, he was pumping into her, driving her into the bed. The mewl that slid from her lips sent a searing wave of heat over him.

"Cute," he managed, his voice a ragged breath. "So cute, Eimi. Gonna cum in your cute lil-"

A thousand fortunes shined upon Daisuke, who was far too distracted to finish that sentence. Eimi laughed beneath him, amused, not belittling. And, he noted with pride, breathy, a little dazed.

"Ah, fuck. Fuck!" Daisuke was more strangled than breathy. His body shook, and he leaned on Eimi's back for support. As powerful as his legs were, they trembled as his climax rushed over him.

When those blissful tremors stilled, Daisuke found his front flush against Eimi's back, his cheek pressed against her shoulder blade. With a contented sigh, he raised his head and dropped kisses along her shoulder.

"Alright?" Her voice was playful, slightly teasing. Daisuke glanced into the mirror and found a tiny grin.

"Alright." Daisuke slid off her, but there wasn't much room on the twin bed. "Budge over."

Eimi scooted to the edge of the bed and twisted to her side. "Was that okay?"

Daisuke managed a huff of laughter. He ruffled her hair at the roots, and Eimi batted his hand away. "I mean. You got results."

She bent her arm at the elbow and cushioned her head on it. "I can tell that much. You know that's not what I meant, though."

Sighing, Daisuke hauled himself into a sitting position. His mind wasn't clear enough to have a meaningful talk with Eimi. Hell, it probably never was. He unrolled the used condom and tied it off. "Let me get you off. Then we'll talk."

Abruptly, Eimi sat up, hands palm out. "You don't have to-"

"Eimi." Daisuke didn't raise his voice, and not a trace of aggression colored it. Still, the seriousness of his tone made Eimi's mouth snap shut. "If you say no at any time, then that's the end of it. Otherwise, if I get into bed with someone, I'm getting them off."

"I know, I know." And she certainly did; they had been over this before. "And I like it. I just... I'm so... Bad at it."

"That's why we're practicing." By now, Daisuke knew better than to waste time reassuring her. If there were magic words to make Eimi feel less awkward about sex, then he didn't know them. What he did know was that the more she dithered, the less smoothly this would go.

Daisuke flashed a grin that was mostly tooth. "C'mon. I wanna watch myself finger you." Something he knew she enjoyed, although she acted like being made to feel good was an imposition.

He was rewarded with an intense rush of color across her cheeks. "How do you- How do you just say stuff like that?!"

Daisuke laughed, deep and full, relishing her embarrassed outrage. "Just like any other words! But only in some situations." Still laughing, he rose, tossing the condom in the small trashcan by his desk. He opened the bottom drawer of his dresser, reached beneath the clothing stored there, and extracted a bit of black fabric.

"C'mon. If you're embarrassed, you can wear the blindfold."

"I'm not embarrassed," Eimi hedged. "Not exactly."

Oh no. I'm not touching that. "Great," Daisuke said, so agreeably that Eimi giggled. "You like being fingered, I like fingering you, so there's no problem. Let me make things comfortable. Excuse me, miss."

Daisuke tipped Eimi aside, freeing the towel spread over his sheets. He folded it in half and placed it on the fluffy rug softening the tile floor of his dorm room. Then, he grabbed his pillows and propped them against the foot of his bedframe, facing his mirror.

Daisuke grabbed the bottle of lube and his phone from his desk, then sat on the towel and snuggled into the pillows. He patted the open space between his spread legs and tipped his head back, trying and failing to catch Eimi's eye. "C'mon."

"You, you really don't have to."

"I'm not hearing no."

"Well- It just, it can take a while. I don't want to waste your time."

Daisuke snorted. "You think I've got something better to do than make you cum?"

"Gods," Eimi muttered. "The cheek on you."

"Ha! You're one to talk about cheeks!" Eimi's sputtering had him bent forward, laughing. He was still laughing when she stomped to him and sat.

"Fine," she muttered, plopping her back against his front hard enough to make him wheeze. Daisuke opened the media player on his phone and selected a playlist. It was highly unlikely that his concept of relaxing music aligned with Eimi's, but by now, he knew that decreasing the attention on her, and on what they were doing, seemed to help. As if to confirm the thought, she picked up the blindfold.

Daisuke held her wrist. "Let me show you something first." It was a gamble, he knew. But worst case scenario, Eimi could put on the blindfold and pretend this never happened.

As was often the case, Eimi seemed to sense danger. She tensed, and Daisuke watched his grin falter in the mirror. He rallied, knowing she was looking, and more pressingly, seeing.

"Hey. You're good." Daisuke wrapped his arms around her waist and let his hands slide down. "Nothing you haven't seen before."

Their eyes met in the mirror, hers nervous, his... Well, he wasn't thinking about that. His gaze slid down, watching her legs shift. He hooked his feet on the inside of hers, then pulled her legs apart. This left the core of her, that most intimate place, on display in the mirror.

"Daisuke." If he had to guess, she meant it as a warning. But the anxious edge to her voice verified what he already knew: this was a lot for Eimi.

"Hey. I'm showing you because it's hot. You're hot, I mean."

He didn't buy her frazzled, forced laugh. "You think everyone is hot. Like, literally everyone."

Even Daisuke knew when he had no leg to stand on. "Yeah. So what? That includes you." He slid his palms down the insides of her thighs. "Bodies are sexy. And I wanna see you feel good."

Eimi managed a wobbly grin. "Sexy? Bodies produce waste. They ooze and squeak and fart."

"Ha! You got me there. But also…" Daisuke cupped Eimi's cheek, gently directing her view to the mirror. They gazed at themselves, naked, still flushed and sweaty from coupling. Eimi was in front, facing the mirror and sat between his legs, curvy, soft, and tinged red everywhere blood vessels clustered.

Daisuke's limbs surrounded her, toned and primed by nearly incessant physical activity. He was, as his friend Wallace put it, a 'short king,' but wide and solid. His hair and eyes were cinnamon-colored. Currently, his puffy hair style was more nest-like than ever, and his gaze was warm, but torrid, smudgy. Just looking at their nestled bodies roused appreciation and desire.

Gently, he stroked Eimi's vulva, easing her into his touch. A glance in the mirror confirmed that she was already looking aside. "Hey," he murmured. "Look."

He splayed a hand, tanned and a bit rough, spreading and flexing his fingers to catch her eye. He watched his middle finger press against her entrance, then slowly dip inside. Her heat enveloped him, a sharp contrast to the cool air in the dorm. There was a reason he wanted Eimi to watch, but it was knocked from his brain by the visual. "Damn," he murmured. His member twitched- as nice as this was, he much preferred dipping that inside her. But thanks to refractory periods, that wasn't happening for a while. And anyway, this was about Eimi.

Daisuke shook his head, trying to focus. "Look. I know you're embarrassed, or that this isn't easy for you, or whatever. It's okay if you decide you're not into it. But if you want to do sexy stuff, just remember… Bodies and sex are natural. It's just a way to connect. So don't worry about it, okay?"

"Daisuke..." Eimi sighed, but some of her tension seemed to depart with the expelled air. "I'm glad you see it that way. I'm not there yet, though- if I even can get there."

Daisuke hesitated. He wanted to say that he would be here until she was, but that wasn't his place. Eimi was one of his several casual sex partners, not a significant other. And, as much as he hated to admit it, he was thinking of ending their arrangement.

He just... He wished he didn't feel the need to.

"Look," he whispered. His other hand moved to her clit, caressing that bud of nerves. He slid another finger inside her and gently pumped, monitoring her reaction. He fought against sighing when she reached for the blindfold. People had different comfort levels. Daisuke understood that, and wanted to respect it. But he was beginning to suspect that this meant letting Eimi go.

She snapped the blindfold in place, then rested her head on his shoulder. "Relax," Daisuke murmured. "Turn your brain off. Just feel."

She could have joked about how his brain was always off- hell, he had practically invited her to. Instead, she cozied into him and murmured, "Okay." Something twisted in Daisuke's chest, something like affection, something like regret.

Her hands closed around his knees, anchoring herself. Experience told him that she was unlikely to respond much, leaving him to his task. He focused on touching her, on the tiny movements and sounds that guided his hands. All the while, he watched in the mirror. And slowly, in the quiet that followed, his mind wandered.

In his memory, he saw a slimmer, straighter body against his. Blue eyes met his in the mirror, then abruptly looked away. Daisuke's hands stroked the red, wet member on display, reveling in every gasp, in the way that flat butt rubbed against his dick.

Daisuke didn't catch himself until Eimi moaned. Her voice was her own, unlike anyone else's, and certainly not like Ken's. How long was he daydreaming, given how much she was squirming?

"Eimi?" He hoped the uncertainty in his voice wasn't obvious, at least not to someone approaching the edge. "Alright?"

"Daisuke- more. Please?"

"Ah, fuck." Daisuke really had to get a hold of his vocabulary, but absolutely not today. "You got it. Good girl."

A strangled whimper slid through her teeth. Groaning, Daisuke shifted, to better amp up his efforts. Her heat had spread over both hands, along with the beloved smell of a partner enjoying his efforts. Beloved in the moment, at least. Maybe not so much for his roommate.

Eimi's grip on his knees tightened, but her slick palms slid against them. Her body shuddered as her hips moved into his hands, bucking into his touch. She buried her face in his neck, spreading sweat over his skin. And though she tried to hold back her voice, this close, Daisuke heard the whimper that slid through her teeth and morphed into a high, desperate whine. Her breathing was hard, ragged, nearly matching his- but far more frantic.

The motion of her hips abruptly stopped as her legs gave out, trembling against the floor. In a voice so high and tight that he barely understood her, she whined, "Pleaseplease-"

Daisuke drank in the visual of Eimi shaking, feet sliding uselessly on the tile. One of his hands worked her sex, rapidly moving inside her. The other teased her clit, and what he could see of her vulva was red, wet, and plump with arousal. It was difficult to pry his eyes from that visual, but he was rewarded with her breasts pushed together by his arms, then a pretty pink mouth widening around a heavenly moan.

Her whole body tensed and locked, and Daisuke growled a fractured obscenity. She had crested, and was about to come crashing down. With another lover, he might have ordered her to cum or teased her. For Eimi, he held back, aware that making her think about what was happening could knock her out of it, or at least diminish her pleasure.

And right now, her pleasure, her release, was all that existed in his world. He felt the spasm around his fingers just a second before a yelp ripped up Eimi's throat, just before she started shuddering in his arms. He watched, listened, and continued working his hands, swallowing his raunchy commentary.

When she fell silent save for heavy breathing and collapsed against him, Daisuke slowed his hands. Eventually, her legs collapsed against his, spent and wobbly, and Daisuke eased his hands free. The scent of her rushed to his nose, and he moaned.

"Beautiful." He punctuated his review with a smacking kiss on her shoulder. Eimi managed a winded chuckle.

"That was amazing. Thank you." There was a wet peeling sound as she sat up, separating their sweaty skin. She removed her blindfold and shook her ruffled hair out.

"I keep telling you not to thank me." As punishment, Daisuke plopped a hand on her head and freshly ruffled her hair.

"Ew! Sex hands!" She scooted away from him, and Daisuke swallowed a sigh as she reached for her clothes. He was only a few minutes away from a potential round two, but Eimi was rarely up for more than one.

"I like them." He made a show of smelling his hands, then laughed at Eimi's appalled expression.

"It stinks, though!"

"Says you." Daisuke was aware that his retorts were often on the grade school level. But he watched color rush to Eimi's already flushed face and did not give a rat's ass. "Seriously, though. Don't thank a partner for getting you off, especially if you just got them off. They should want to make you feel good."

He watched in the mirror as Eimi slid her panties up. "I hear you. But, with me... Well, it's probably... Different. Harder?"

"Hey," Daisuke murmured. He couldn't see her face anymore, not bent over and focusing on her clothes. He knew her well enough to guess that she might have done this on purpose. "I knew from day one that you're ace or greyscale. That's why we're here, right?"

When she grabbed her bra from the edge of the bed instead of turning around, Daisuke knew that she was intentionally angling herself away from him. "I still don't see what you get out of it."

It was a pity that she didn't see the way his brow furrowed. "Wha- Eimi. Did you miss the part where I busted both nuts in you?"

She laughed, thank the gods. "I noticed! I just- You have other partners, right? And I'm sure it's more fun with them. They're more... Into it."

And suddenly, he was glad she wasn't looking. Daisuke had an honest face, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her with it. Sex with Eimi was far from a chore. He loved her full, soft body and that gorgeous voice. But if he was somehow forced at gun point to rank his partners on sexual compatibility, well...

Eimi was correct to assume that she wouldn't score well.

"They are more into it," he gently replied. "But I knew that going in, and I like being with you."

She turned to him at last, and Daisuke grinned as she reached into her bra, scooped a full, still-flushed breast, and settled it into a cup to best advantage. She called this 'fluffing,' and it was cute as fuck. He had no idea girls did that until she explained it.

She switched to the other breast, totally missing his gaze, eyes averted in thought. "I'm glad. But..."

Daisuke's stomach churned. He stood and reached for his clothes. Somehow, he sensed that the conversation was heading in a direction where pants were preferred. He stepped into his flame emblazoned boxers.

Eimi waited until he snapped the waist band in place before continuing, bless her. "I don't know how to explain it, but... I feel like something changed. Are you okay?"

Daisuke's gaze fell from hers. "Damn," he muttered. "You really are smart. Or, like... Aware. Both? Both." He grabbed his shorts and sat on the edge of his bed to put them on. In his periphery, he watched Eimi tug an oversized shirt dress over her head.

Among shifting fabric, Eimi's voice called, "Nothing bad, I hope?"

"Gods, I don't even know. Nothing you did." Daisuke yanked his shirt on, grumbling as the head hole hooked on his ear.

The bed shifted as Eimi sat beside him. "Can we talk about it?" Her hand landed on his knee, soft and warm.

Daisuke hesitated. He wanted to hold her hand, but... Well, they weren't a couple. Obviously, they did physical things when they hooked up. But outside of that, not so much.

He watched his hands ball into fists between his spread legs. "If I'm wrong, tell me. I can't always read the room, or whatever."

"No one can, not always. I'll try my best to be clear and honest, okay?"

If Eimi said so, Daisuke trusted it. "Thanks. We've tried a lot of things these last few weeks. I know you like being fingered. Other than that, you just don't... Seem to really enjoy sex. Or at least, you're not into it?"

And, in his desire to communicate his earnestness, Daisuke forgot the normal boundaries. He grabbed her hand and looked her in the eyes. "I know I'm a hornball, so maybe you don't believe me, but... I offered being fuck buddies to help you figure out what you like and don't like. Er- I'm not saying you're the only one who benefited. I liked it, too. But if we've tried enough stuff and you're not into it, then..."

Daisuke couldn't withstand the pain in her eyes, the way her brow crumpled and her lower lids tensed. A joint popped somewhere in their entwined hands, and he had no clue to whom it belonged. "I don't want to pressure you or hurt you. I just want to help you and enjoy each other."

"Daisuke, no. Please. I admit that you've pushed me out of my comfort zone, but that's literally what I asked you to do. You've been amazing."

Daisuke rocked into her, going limp. "Good. Great. Okay. Gods, that's a relief." He fell silent, breathing in and out, trying to calm himself. If he had hurt her, or any of his partners... Well, he couldn't bear the thought.

When the worry faded, he sat back up and looked at her at last. "So, we're good so far. But I still need to check in. Do you want to keep exploring? Or maybe you've tried enough things?"

This time, he knew it was Eimi's hand that twitched around his. "What, what do you want?"

"Me, the horndog?" In a perfect world for Daisuke, they'd be fucking now, not having a difficult talk. "I'll mess around with you as much as you want. So I need to know what you want."

"Is there a reason you're suddenly asking?"

Daisuke was trying to be patient, truly he was, but he found himself fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "Is there a reason you're dodging the question?"

"Because I don't want to hurt you."

All sarcastic tendencies died an abrupt death. Eimi's shoulders were slumped, and she wouldn't meet his eye. Gently, Daisuke tipped her face towards his. "Hey," he murmured. "The only way to hurt me is by not being honest. I know you won't take digs on purpose."

Liquid filled her eyes and spilled over. "Daisuke, you're so, so sweet. I really don't want you to take this the wrong way-"

"I won't." He hoped he sounded as easy and offhand as he wanted to. "You're asexual, and you're not into sex. We experimented, and that's what you learned. That was the point."

The campus LGBTQIA+ center felt more like Daisuke's home than anywhere else had. Japan was behind other countries in rights for queer people; for example, Waseda University was the first to open a Gender and Sexuality Center in 2018. Given the success, both social and financial, of the center, other universities slowly followed suit. And now, after a lifetime of hiding a part of himself, Daisuke had a safe place to share it.

The community was vital to him, so he tended it earnestly as a volunteer. He met most of his college friends there, as anyone who stepped inside would accept him, including this piece that was so often treated with shame. And though he was primarily there to foster a community, naturally, he also met most of his casual partners at the center, including Eimi.

At first, several months ago, she was stiff and anxious at the center, unwilling to talk about herself and her experiences. Seeing fear in a place that was meant to be safe, Daisuke did his best to include her. Over time, she opened up to him, and they became personal friends. Daisuke couldn't estimate the number of times Eimi helped him with academics and little tiffs with friends, nor how often he expanded her world, inviting her to social events and insisting that they exercise together.

Still, he never would have predicted that they would become casual hook-up partners. But Eimi wanted to learn about sex, a topic Daisuke was almost always interested in. They trusted each other. And now, it seemed, it was time for Eimi to declare what she had come to understand about herself and how she related to sex, and to end their exploration.

Another tear leaked free as she drew a deep breath. "I think it's fair to say that I am, in fact, asexual. But I don't dislike sex."

A soft rush of hope had him smiling. A more forceful surge of ego twisted that smile into a smirk. "You like being fingered."

Eimi's caring expression blanked so fast that Daisuke burst into laughter. "You could maybe stop saying that."

"Maybe!" he gasped. "Maybe not!"

"You could keep laughing," Eimi said through grit teeth, "or you can hear what else I like."

Daisuke clapped a hand over his still-snickering mouth. "Tell me!"

Eimi squared her shoulders and employed a prim tone that in no way fit the subject matter. "Fine. I like giving you oral."

"Well, shit. Why didn't you say so?" Daisuke hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his shorts, which earned him a smack.

"I like skin-to-skin contact. I like when you feel good. And I like, um..."

"Eimi?"

She trailed off, looking suddenly vulnerable. "Don't laugh."

He squeezed her hand. "I won't. Okay?"

"Thanks. I, I like... The things you say to me. It's… really sweet. No one's ever spoken to me like that before. And you're probably just saying that because you're a nice person-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. The stuff about you being hot? That has nothing to do with being nice. That's just me saying what I think- And what plenty of other people will think, too."

Daisuke resisted the urge to rub the sudden ache in his chest. Little moments with Eimi led him to believe that she wasn't accustomed to the kindness and attentiveness that he tried to show his partners when they hooked up. Some partners loved being fucked into a wall while he growled agreed-upon dirty talk into their ear. Others required a softer touch. It was different, and maybe not as fun. But the softness Eimi showed him in turn made it more than worthwhile.

"Thank you. That's very kind. But, um... I am wondering if..."

Her mouth snapped shut, and a lump slid down her throat. Sighing, Daisuke wound an arm over her shoulders and pulled her into him. "Hey. Let me ask you something. Earlier, when we were having sex, what were you thinking about?"

Eimi blinked. "At what point?"

Ah, right. "Penetrative sex, I mean." For anyone else, he would have said, "when we fucked, duh." But Eimi was, ah, specific. How would she know what he meant without precise terminology? He grinned, exasperated, but amused.

Her brow indented with obvious confusion. "Why?"

Because I was throwing everything into fucking you, and you were looking off into nothing. "You seemed like you were somewhere else in here," he substituted, tapping her forehead.

"Gods," Eimi murmured. "I'm sorry. Is that offensive? Um- Well, uh, I'm having trouble understanding my organic chemistry lab report."

Daisuke felt his face snap blank. "L-lab report?!"

"Sorry! I don't mean to be rude-"

"No," Daisuke interrupted, holding a hand palm out. "I know, I know. Your head just isn't in it. And that, um... That's why I'm wondering if... Maybe we should... stop."

Her eyes shut as her head bowed, like a patient receiving bad news. "I've… been thinking that, too."

Daisuke tried to speak, but his voice came out garbled. He cleared the sudden obstruction from his throat. "Y-yeah."

The fine muscles around Eimi's closed eyes tightened. "I, I'm sorry-"

"Hell," Daisuke cursed. He tipped his head into hers, bonking them together. "C'mon. I've had a great time with you. Don't apologize."

"Thanks." She shifted back enough to look at him, revealing wet, worried eyes. "I'm sorry that I wasn't... You know, good in bed-"

Daisuke drowned her out with volume. "Hey, you got results every time, like I said. And you're a beginner. So stop."

Her weak smile hinted that she knew he was being generous. "You're sweet. But... That's not all I'm worried about."

Daisuke blinked. Frankly, new worries were the last thing they needed, but he wasn't about to ask Eimi to stop. Not if listening could help. "Yeah?"

Her hand moved in his, wriggling into it, as if trying to smoosh even closer. "I just... I'm worried no one will want to date me if I'm... Like this."

"Whoa whoa whoa." Daisuke released Eimi, then grabbed both of her shoulders. "Look- Different people have different libidos. You'll find someone! And there are other asexual people at the LGBTQIA+ center, if you need a place to start."

"Maybe... I don't know."

"Actually, um... You reminded me of someone I know when you mentioned your lab report. Last I heard, he's been looking for a partner."

Eimi's distress shifted to confusion with comical speed. Her mouth hung open until she shook her head, as if to jump start her brain. "Are you- Are you trying to set me up with someone? While we break off as casual partners?"

Daisuke wasn't sure if laughing was wise, but when did that stop him? "I guess I am! I brought it up because he's a huge nerd. If anyone else I know might be thinking about science while they're getting drilled, it's gotta be him."

She broke into her sweet, lilting laughter, and Daisuke's smile warmed. "Well, now I have to meet him. I'm not equipped to, ah, drill anyone, though."

His smile took a naughty turn. "There are ways around that. Not that I know what he's into."

Eimi pressed her palms against her forehead, as if to massage her brain. "Ahhh, geez. I don't know. I want to meet him, but... Do you think I could date someone? The way I am?"

"The way you are?" Daisuke echoed. "Smart and pretty and sweet? Fuck yeah, you could, as long as you're honest about what you're looking for, like everyone needs to be. And Koushiro's really, like..."

How could Daisuke describe Izumi Koushiro? Some things were obvious, so he began there. "He's the smartest person I know. Like, no contest. And he's hard working and loves to learn."

"Definitely sounds like someone I could be friends with," Eimi agreed. "But... Well, you know why dating me might be..."

Daisuke flapped a hand. "You didn't let me finish. Koushiro is, like... Good. Like... He's so helpful? He's kind and patient and assumes the best in everyone. He forgives people easily. He's a great guy, is what I'm saying. I don't know his orientation or what he'd be down for, but if things did go that way, I know he'd be good to his partner."

"Sounds like you might be into him, yourself." The teasing quality of her grin was impossible to miss.

Heat blossomed on Daisuke's face. "Can't say I never was," he sighed. "Just a crush, a long time ago, and not for long. Looking back, maybe I just admired him? It's hard not to."

Eimi placed her hand on his forearm. "I believe you," she said soothingly. "Sorry to tease. I am wondering how someone so amazing doesn't already have a partner, though."

Daisuke recovered, all embarrassment forgotten. "Right?! When you get to know him, it's crazy! But... That's kind of the problem."

Eimi's expression wiped as she processed. When she understood, her eyebrows bounced. "Ah, I see. It's hard to get to know him. Is he shy?"

"Not shy. Social anxiety, maybe? He's not good at reading a room, and sometimes he just says the worst possible thing by accident. His friends know that he'd never be rude or hurtful on purpose, but with new people... They might mistake his social clumsiness for, I don't know... Bad intentions?"

Daisuke paused and scratched his head. This kind of analysis wasn't his strong suit, so he shrugged and said, "Also, sometimes he just fucking flubs it. Especially in romantic settings. And not everyone wants to talk about science and computers and stuff."

"I think I understand. I guess first dates with new people are really stressful..."

Daisuke loved meeting new people, so he didn't really get it. But then, he knew what it was like to desperately want to impress someone while being unsure if he could. "Yeah. But I really do think you'd hit it off, and you're both wanting a significant other, right?"

"I would like that. And... I'm sorry, Daisuke. You've been wonderful, but I don't think casual sex is for me."

No kidding. "Yeah," Daisuke substituted. "Still, it's good to have the experience, right?"

"Definitely. I learned a lot in a safe way." Eimi smiled, but a tear slid from her eye. "I... I'm not sure why it hurts."

Daisuke took her hand in both of his. "I'm not going anywhere. We're friends. And hey, if we're both single and you're feeling frisky..."

"Pfft! You know I've never felt frisky. And respectfully, I'm done with casual sex."

Damn. This was it, then. But maybe that was for the best. As long as he didn't lose Eimi as a friend, then there was no need to despair. "Friends, then."

"Definitely." Her wobbly smile faded. "Um, Daisuke... Since we are friends, can I ask you something?"

"Huh?" Why did she look so concerned, all of a sudden? "What's up?"

"Well... I could be wrong. You mentioned how my head wasn't always in it? Um. Sometimes, I felt like that was true for you, too."

Daisuke's smile plummeted like a dropped object. He tried to rearrange his expression, but it was too late. Eimi was already squeezing his hand and leaning in, gazing imploringly in his eyes. "If you want to talk, I want to listen."

Daisuke exhaled, long and huffy. "Well, fuck. You're... Really good at reading people."

Her shoulders lifted in a tiny shrug. "Not everyone. I've got a decent feel for you, though."

Daisuke smirked. "I've got some background in feeling you, too."

Eimi rolled her eyes, but a smile softened the gesture. "Ha ha. Are you alright?"

Daisuke released Eimi and plopped on the bed, so that he lay horizontally across it. She squeaked when the mattress shifted, then lowered herself beside him.

"Shit, man." Daisuke ran a hand through his hair, ruffling his already puffy style. "I dunno. I can't explain this stuff like you do."

Her fingertips brushed his upper arm. "Well, let me ask this way. What were you thinking about earlier, in front of the mirror?"

"Shit." Daisuke covered his face with both hands, inhaled, and inadvertently filled his nose with her scent. It was jarring against what he was thinking about- whom he was thinking about, rather.

"I dunno," he growled, dragging his hands down his face. "Lately, I've been thinking about... Well, another fuck buddy I... Used to have."

"Used to?"

The world shifted as Eimi lifted herself onto an elbow, to better look at him. Unhelpfully, Daisuke tipped his head away from her, aware that his face was heating. "Yeah. He, um. He asked if I wanted to get more serious. And... I did. So I..."

This time, the lump in his throat resisted his attempts to dislodge it. He cleared it roughly, so hard that it hurt. "I fuckin' choked."

Eimi's hand closed around his upper arm, but still, Daisuke refused to look at her. "I don't understand. Isn't dating one person easier than several?"

"I'm not dating anyone," he snapped. "It's all casual hookups."

"I know." Eimi had to be hovering over him. Her long hair tickled his hand. "But for me, that seems really hard."

"Not for me. It's just having a good time with a few people you trust, that's all. I like them all, sure. But I'm not... You know..."

"In love?" Eimi hazarded. "I don't know... Scheduling wise, monogamy seems easier."

Laughter spilled from Daisuke's mouth. "Scheduling! Eimi! What the heck!" He looked at her at last, and she was, at least, smiling. Still, confusion and concern lingered in her eyes.

"I'm talking about feelings," Daisuke said, because he couldn't seem to repay her caring with lies. "Don't you think it's scary to have feelings for someone?"

She blinked, bewildered. "I'm... Not sure. I never have. Why is it scary, do you think?"

"Ah, geez. C'mon." Daisuke was far from stupid, although he certainly felt like he was sometimes. Still, he wasn't the introspective sort. He engaged with things in the moment, without picking apart thoughts and feelings.

Eimi was a wildly different story.

"Gods... Well. If I date one person, I probably have to stop meeting up with other people. And I really like doing that."

"Probably?" Eimi echoed. "Not certainly?'

He shrugged. "Yeah, poly is a thing."

The way Eimi's eyes averted suggested that she was recalling information. "Having multiple partners?" She grimaced. "Daisuke, I can barely handle myself, let alone a few partners."

Grinning, Daisuke crossed his arms and used them to cushion his head. "It's not for everyone. I've wondered if it would work out for me, but even for poly, I think you usually keep things within the group? There are open relationships too, though."

"Um... Do you think this person might be up for a poly life? Or that you would be?"

"I might be. Dunno. Never tried it. As for Ken..." That name slipped easily, naturally from his lips. Daisuke scowled. He kept trying not to think about him, let alone talk about him. Even that much scared him, a little.

"I don't know what he wants," he murmured. "I didn't let him tell me."

Eimi cupped his cheek, gently directing his reluctant gaze to her eyes. "Did you fight?"

Daisuke produced an exquisite grimace. "Well, no. I just, um, kinda panicked and got the hell out of there. He must have noticed how freaked out I was, though. Neither of us have reached out since then."

"Do you want to reach out to him?"

Sudden, stinging tears coated Daisuke's eyes. "Of course I do! I miss him like hell. But I- I'm so stupid. I don't know what I want. I don't even know why I'm panicking."

"Because he means something to you," Eimi murmured. "Something more than your other partners. And you're not sure what that means. Maybe?"

"Maybe... But maybe it's more... I don't know. I feel like I don't deserve him? Or that I'd ruin everything, and then we wouldn't even be... what we are now." What we were, a voice in his mind corrected.

"Daisuke... You can fix this, though."

"How?!" Daisuke commanded. Unbidden, the prickling in his eyes increased, and tears spilled over.

"You talk to him," Eimi replied, as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "Just like you're talking to me. He clearly cares about you and wants to try dating. He'll want to know what you're thinking and feeling."

"I was such a jerk to him, though," Daisuke protested. "I'm already dicking it up. He, he was saying how he felt- that shit's vulnerable, man!- and I just... Brushed him off and left."

"That's not irreversible. Apologize, Daisuke. Tell him you're scared because of how much you like him. He likes you, too, so he might know how you feel."

"I... I don't know what to say, though."

"Do you want to practice with me?"

"Like, right now? Hell no. No offense." Daisuke hoped his wobbly grin was convincing. "I need to..."

Eimi patted his shoulder, then withdrew her touch. "Yeah. Already a lot of feelings today, huh?"

Daisuke blew a wet raspberry, staring at his dorm ceiling, a stretch of off-white plaster. "Yeah. You okay? I hope I didn't, like..."

What could he say? He was sad to let Eimi go, but equally sure it was the right call. "Hurt you," he whispered at last, as she didn't seem interested in letting him off the hook.

"You didn't. And I know you suggested ending things because you care. I am... Well, like I said. I'm worried there's no one else out there who will work with me, and there are physical things I like."

"You'll definitely find someone. And seriously, I think there's a chance with Koushiro." It cost him dearly, but Daisuke managed a wobbly grin. "Are you willing to meet him?"

Eimi hauled herself into a sitting position, so Daisuke reluctantly copied her. "How about a deal?"

Daisuke cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"I'll meet this Koushiro-san. You talk to your Ken-san. And you'll reach out to me if you need anything." She extended a hand.

There was a pang in Daisuke's chest. He recognized that Eimi was worried about him, even if the deal was wildly stacked in her favor, as far as he was concerned. "Fine," he grumbled, grasping her hand. "And Eimi?"

She smiled and tipped her head, but her grin shrank as she absorbed his serious expression. "You're not getting rid of me. We're friends, okay? I'm going to keep texting you and bugging you."

And this time, her smile expanded from ear to ear. She pressed her lips to his cheek. "I'm holding you to that."

"Yeah. I'll text Koushiro today and let you know how it went, okay?"

Eimi released his hand and stood. Thankfully, she understood that he wanted to be alone. "Okay. Don't forget your end of the deal, though." Suddenly, her nose wrinkled, and she lifted her fingers to her nose. "Ugh! Daisuke, wash your hands! They stink!"

Shocked laughter popped from Daisuke's mouth. "Ha! Don't say that! You smell nice!"

"Gross! I'm getting out of this biohazard room!"

"Yeah, yeah. See ya later."

With a final admonishment to wash his hands, Eimi left, presumably to find a washroom herself. For a moment, Daisuke stared at the closed door to his room, feeling bittersweet. She wouldn't come here again, or at least, not for the same reason.

But hopefully, she would find someone to better suit her needs- and he could sort things out with someone who better suited his.

Too bad he had no fucking clue how to manage that.

Author's Notes: Hi all! So, this story was inspired by a dream I had of Daisuke and Eimi hooking up, which, if you're familiar with Eimi and my work, was... Kind of weird for me. I ended up fleshing out a story without meaning to simply by trying to figure out what could possibly bring those two together like that, and this is what I came up with! It began expanding to contain Daiken, and suddenly it was June, and I thought... Pride month celebration!

I feel extremely unsure about sharing this work, because explicit content is outside of my wheelhouse, and because I'm lowkey terrified of accidentally blundering somehow when it comes to exploring queer themes (although I am queer myself). So please be kind 3