Last time: Kait and Nova talked about what's been going on.

Now: Kyr can't sleep.


Chapter 8= Late Night Visit

It was deep in the middle of the night, as Kyr put his arm across his eyes and tried not to look at the clock, knowing full well what time it probably was. He glanced at the clock and rolled his eyes. He couldn't sleep, as he hadn't been able to sleep these past couple weeks. In another hour or two he might be exhausted enough to nap lightly for an hour or so before he had to get up and attend a briefing about further information on the remnant cell.

The rest of the family had tried to unwind with a fun sabacc game the previous evening. As fun as something could be under the circumstances. But he kept wishing that Cien had been sitting next to him like she always did. Whenever she played cards she always tried to keep her facade up, to keep her best sabacc face up. But he could always tell when she had a good hand or not because she had a little twinkle in her eye that she got whenever she was about to make a funny comment, or win something decisively. And that twinkle was just one of an endless list of things he missed about her. At least during those years they had been apart after attacking Dracul he had been able to find some small comfort with her absence by shoring himself up and realizing it would never have worked out. Pushing her out of his thoughts had been difficult then, but at least he knew it was the right thing to do then since he would never see her again so it didn't matter. But now, she was his wife, and she was pregnant with the twins. And he had spent the last few years loving the fact that she was with him, entranced by every bit of her. Until now with her absence he saw her everywhere. When something funny happened he wanted to turn and comment on it to her. When there was a game he wanted to see that twinkle in her eye when she was about to win. Or her adorable pout, as imperceptible as it may be, when she knew she had lost. He missed her smile, which he had been so happy to see more of each day. He missed the little song she absently started humming when the twins came along whenever she was alone in a room concentrating on something.

He kicked the covers off and sat on the edge of the bed. Restless. Feeling like his skin was crawling with the want to do… something. Anything. Admiral Sulam was right, Cien was out there, somewhere, and here he was laying in bed when anything could be happening to her. The only comfort he had was that she didn't seem to be distressed when he and Sasha had seen her what felt like years ago. But they had caught such a small glimpse of her, it was hard to say anything for certain. At least she looked healthy. She didn't look like she had been hurt. But that didn't matter. She, and the twins, were out there, somewhere, and he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight, as he hadn't so many other nights these past weeks.

He didn't know what to do.

He was a Mandalorian. His way of solving things was to out think his enemy. But there was no enemy left. To out fight them. But there wasn't an enemy to fight. To stride in and let his bravado and confidence stop the fight before it even started. But there was no fight to stop.

His only enemy felt like time. And that was the one enemy no one could ever defeat.

They had acted on all the intel they had. Dravis had seemed to wring out several miracles from the computer systems, but they hadn't led them to Cien. Sasha had ended up in a coma or trapped in the mindspace or whatever after she had come across… her. So if she had been able to get anything out of… her, then it was trapped along with Sasha. And there was no other way to get her… Selina, to talk.

He paused for a moment, looking up at his armor.

That wasn't true.

She insisted on only talking to him, for some reason. He had just seethed at the idea and said nothing. He hadn't seen her since the Marines had dragged her away aboard the Taipan. Hoping that anything else might happen, and she could rot in a New Republic cell after they had been able to figure out where Cien was. But Sasha was gone. Cien was gone. The twins were gone. And the only person who might know what had happened to them was sitting in the brig rotting away.

He hadn't seen her or spoken to her because… he was afraid. Afraid of her for what she had done to him, to be sure. But more so he was afraid to talk with her and find out what she had done. Thinking of Cien, and the twins, in her hands brought up a lump to his throat and tears to his eyes, as he imagined what cruelty Selina might have visited on the three of them. Because of what he had done so long ago.

He took a deep shuddering breath.

But… they knew Cien had gotten away. And she has been sitting at a table somewhere in a blue dress. She hadn't been… He swallowed, and tried to push the myriad images out of his mind of what he could picture Selina doing to them. It hadn't happened, that was all that mattered.

Cien was somewhere, unharmed apparently. Selina was rotting in a cell. She didn't have any power over him except for the power that he gave her. And he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of that.

He stood up, walking to his armor. He was in just his flight suit as he usually kitted down to when he was sleeping in quarters like this. He slipped his boots on, closing the armored shins. He shrugged his vest on, letting the armored closures guide themselves closed. He attached the thigh plates with a self guiding magnetic clack. He slipped his gauntlets over his arms, then sealed his gloves on. As he had done thousands of times before.

He remembered, as he reached for his buy'ce, that there had been a point when Selina had scared him out of ever wanting to wear his armor again. He remembered that every time he put his armor on, now. He also remembered, everytime, what Cien had said when he had admitted that to her. Remember what it carries with you when you do finally feel comfortable wearing it again, she had said. Not a tomb, not a weapon used against you. Your father, mother and sister to stay with you and protect you from anything, and my heart to keep with you always. The last part made him absently run his hand over his sunrise colored heartpiece as it so often did.

To hell with Selina, she didn't have any power over him anymore. And that was because of Cien.

He walked out of his quarters, down the darkened corridors of the Defiant in the middle of the night. As always, there was activity, but subdued because it was night time. People he knew nodded to him as he passed by, others got out of his way, or he theirs if they were so engrossed in their activities that they didn't notice him. He got on the lifts and headed down towards the bowels of the ship. Literally. The brig was next to the sewage treatment facilities, which he thought, or at least hoped, was by some ironic sense of humor from whoever had designed the Defiant.

There were two bored but attentive marines that were at the cell entrance manning their post. There was a part of Kyr that was glad they were relaxed. On an Imperial ship they would be standing at attention with their weapons at the ready. These marines were just standing attentively.

"Colonel?" One of them asked as he approached. His aversion to the prisoner was well known and understood aboard the ship.

"At ease." He said, waving his way past them.

"Let us know if you need anything at all." The other one said, glancing at him as he passed into the space that led into the cell. He waited for the door to close behind him, his face hidden behind his buy'ce as he looked at… her.

Selina.

She was sitting there on the edge of her bed, on the other side of the red ray shield, blankly looking at something through the wall, thousands of light years away. She hadn't noticed him. And he stood there, staring at her. Now that he was here, now that he was finally seeing her again, he had no idea what to say or do. Part of him felt the sheer emotional ache of being back in the gallery. His shoulder itched, where she had stabbed him. As did his now mended right leg.

Another part seethed with anger. Looking upon the demon that had taken his family from him. More than once.

And yet another, distant part of him looked upon her with a sense of pity. She looked gaunt. She looked drawn. And she was just sitting there, sitting on the edge of the bed in her cell, looking in the distance as if she was just waiting for something. What she waited for, he didn't know.

After a moment her eyes slowly drifted up towards his, hidden behind his transparisteel visor. And her eyes, the window to her soul, his way of reading people to know if they were friend or foe, coward or courageous, gentle or foul, showed nothing. They were like two glass orbs simply looking out upon the galaxy, waiting.

"I've been waiting so long to see you, Mandalorian." She finally spoke. Her voice flat. Not even, just flat. Like some hollow thing spoke out across an unfathomable distance. "Have you come to end this? To end me?" She asked. He noted a slight bit of hope in her tone.

That was what she was sitting there waiting for. For it to end.

"You've told everyone that you'll only speak to me. So speak." He stated, his voice a growl.

A flash of annoyance went across her face. "And what would you have me speak of? Reminisce about old times?" She asked with a cruel sneer coming to her mouth.

"No, I thought we'd exchange a witty repartee." He said, his lip curling in a snarl.

Selina glanced over his shoulder as if she was looking for something. He looked up in his surround view and saw nothing but durasteel panels. "What, you haven't come to gloat or torture me or something?" She asked. She glanced at his knife, in his sheath on his chest. "Want to return the favor of your shoulder?" She suggested with a scowl.

"What did you want to speak to me about?" He demanded, trying to keep his breathing and anger under control. "If you just wanted to try to get a rise out of me then I have no business here." He said, turning to go.

"Oh, is that why you're here in the middle of the night?" She asked, nearly shouting after him. "Because you finally had an opening in your busy schedule to come talk to your old friend?" She growled as he turned back to look at her. "Fine!" She yelled, standing up. "How about I tell you how I tortured your beloved cyar'ika to death. Have you found any pieces of her anywhere? What about the baby?" She asked as she seethed coming towards the ray shield.

"Shut up!" Kyr slammed his fist against the ray shield, sparks flew off of the beskar knuckle plates as he seethed under his helmet. He knew she was lying, but it was such a hideous lie, conjuring such awful images.

"She screamed." Selina said deliciously. "Oh how she screamed. Did you find the recordings I made for yo-"

"SHUT UP!" Kyr yelled, slamming his fist harder against the ray shield, and he could feel the plasma window ripple under his fist.

Selina stood there staring at him, hatred, loathing, nothing but the evil darkness that consumed her soul was evident to Kyr. Her glass eyes stared out at the world, her twisted soul staring out from within. And her lip curled in horrific mockery of a smile. She turned around and sat down. "How nice to know I've still got you broken." She said as she sat on the edge of the bed, and Kyr couldn't help but notice it was with the same awful way she had lounged in her chair in the gallery.

"I know you're lying." He stated. "I don't know where she is, but I know she's healthy and whole. You didn't harm her."

"What makes you think that?" She asked, cocking her head to the side. She glanced over his shoulder and then shook her head slightly, enjoying this far too much to care about any consequences. "What makes you think I didn't make her scream?" She asked.

"Because I've seen her." He stated, seething. "You don't have any power over me any more. You failed."

"Then why are you here?" Selina asked, looking at him maliciously.

There was a pregnant pause as they considered each other. Kyr trying to stop taking deep breaths. She simply sitting there, looking at him like she had won from inside her cell.

"Because." He started, speaking slowly. "You said you would only talk to me." He said. "And I thought there might be something more than just you continuing your sick twisted obsession with hurting me."

Selina looked at him incredulously. Then she started chuckling, and it grew to a laugh, then a maddened guffaw that made Kyr wanted to recoil for seeing such insanity before him.

"You think -" She started, as she brought her maniacal laughter under control. "You still think this is about you?" Selina said, chuckling again as if it was the most incredible thing she had ever heard. "What did you even do, kill my father? He was a moron, a fool. Especially if he was taken out by you. And my mom, she died then, to, I guess. That was so, so many years ago." She said, as her face turned to a dark scowl, and she looked at him under darkened brows. In the odd light of the brig, it made her look demonic. "This isn't about you. It hasn't been for hundreds of minutes. Thousands." She said darkly. "This is about… her."

"Cien?" Kyr said.

Selina grimaced and looked away. "You know what she did?" She asked, looking sharply back at him.

"Not enough if you're still here." He growled despite himself.

"Indeed." She said, in full agreement. "Are you sad the monster you share your bed with is gone?" She asked, looking at him darkly, any pretense of humor or mockery gone.

Kyr just stared at her, seething in anger.

"I remember you screaming." She said, and Kyr curled his lip, but didn't rise to the bait. "And I remember you crying. I remember how much you missed your little girlfriend when I had you chained up so long ago. So I know what you're going through right now is probably the worst thing you can experience." She said, her lip curling into a bit of a grin. "So let me know when you get a few hundred years along in that. Then we can talk." Selina said in seething anger as she closed in on herself with a grimace.

"Tell me what you know of where she is." Kyr said.

"Here, there." She said, looking up at him, as if he was annoying her. "She's any number of places. Little bits of her strewn all about the galaxy." She said with a chuckle.

"I know that's not true." He stated again, trying to keep his tone even.

"You know nothing." Selina said, boring into his eyes. This time filled with a fire he hadn't seen all night.

"Then tell me." He said, his patience far past its limits.

She looked at him, and her head slowly twisted to the side. "Only if you promise to kill me." She said.

He stared at her for a moment, his eyes narrowing. "What?" He asked incredulously.

"Only. If." She said, her hand in front of her, bouncing in front of her with each word to punctuate it as if pointing at each word. "You. Promise." She said in her mocking tone. "To. Kill. Me." She said, finishing with a jab at herself. "Is that too hard for your metal head to understand?" She asked with contempt.

"I'm not a murderer." He stated.

She jumped to her feet. "Don't give me that kriffing-" She said, seething as she took a deep shuddering breath. "That's how all this started with you murdering my parents so many years ago for money."

He stared at her, also seething. "I killed a piece of osik that murdered others for fun. And I did it for free."

"Then do this one for free." She said, spreading her arms out in annoyance, as if he couldn't see the simplicity. "No one else on this ship will do it. And the Republic will just put me in some jail cell somewhere. I know you want this. I want this. I've wanted this to end for longer than you can dream of. When I…" She said, shuddering and looking away.

"Fine, whatever." He said, rolling his eyes. "Tell me what you know, then we can talk."

She brought her hands up out of sheer frustration, as if she wanted to strangle him. And she slowly sank down to her bunk, hiding her face behind her hands. "I wish I had just killed you." She said quietly. "That was my mistake." She said quietly. "If I had just killed you, then she would have just killed me. Horribly. But she would have just killed me."

"Yeah, well, if wishes were starships then we'd all have our own fleets." He said testily. "What the kriff-"

"But no." She said quietly, continuing as if she didn't even realize he was still there. "I had to torture you, so she got mad at me. She trapped me in that place. My gallery."

Kyr just stared at her, not sure what to make of what she was saying.

"And she left." She continued quietly. But in a completely different tone, quieter, more maddened. "And then I came in." She said her voice taking on the same maddened tone from earlier, that sounded like she might burst into horrifying laughter again. "And I came in and I came in and I came in over and over and over again. So many minutes, so, so many minutes. And then I killed me. And I got free. I thought it was done, that I could get out. And then she was waiting for me."

Kyr knelt down in front of her, not sure at all what was happening. She had seemed so lucid before, and now she was descending into madness. "Selina?" He asked, despite himself some sense of worry edged into his voice. If she descended into that dark abyss they might not get anything out of her. He took his buy'ce off, looking at her with his own eyes for the first time in his life. And she saw his face for the first time, as her eyes furtively darted to his as he knelt there. "Who?" He asked, "who was waiting?" He asked, trying to reach out to her, to try to bring her back to some semblance of lucidness. He technically wasn't supposed to have his buy'ce off in front of an enemy, but to hell with it.

"She was. But not her." She said, her eyes filled with terror as she peeked out from between her fingers at him. "She was waiting. All that time. For me to escape, just like she said she was when she was there but she wasn't. And then she hunted me across hell." She said. Tears coming to her eyes as she almost seemed on the verge of bursting into laughter again. "And when she caught me I was put back on the wall and it started again. I was alive again, after I killed me. Over and over and over and over and over again."

"Selina?" Kyr asked quietly. He hadn't ever seen anything as horrifying as this. Not in all his years in the war, not in all the experiences he had. "What did you do to Cien?" He asked quietly. He had been terrified to think of what the Selina he had known might have done to her, but this… what this… thing before him might have done chilled his soul.

"I ran." She said. Quietly. "I tried. I died. I cried." She said as a horrifying chuckle came to her and she started crying. "Over and over again, thousands of minutes. The clock ticked each one. And I listened to each one and then a new one came and it never stopped."

"Then what happened?" Kyr asked quietly.

"Then she got bored." Selina said, still crying, and still laughing. "I screamed too much and was silent too long and then she got bored of listening to nothing. And she missed you. She hated me because of you. Hated everything. And you weren't there."

"Who?" Kyr asked.

"Her." Selina said, her eyes darting up to look over his left shoulder.

Kyr stood up and shot his head around out of a terrified reflex, and saw nothing but the corner of the cell bay.

"No!" Selina screamed, edging back up onto the bunk as she crawled backwards in terror. "No! NO! NO! I didn't say anything! Don't please!" She screamed as she clawed at her face and started screeching like she was on fire.

Behind him the entrance to the cell bay opened and the two marines rushed in. Kyr simply stared at Selina as she went horribly silent. The marines looked between each other, not at all sure what had happened, but seeing the Colonel was as shocked as they were.

Selina moved forward and sat on the edge of her bunk. In a very regal position. Almost like an empress. "I would speak with him alone." She said to the marines.

"Colonel?" One of the marines asked very uncertainly.

"Wait outside." He ordered, not taking his eyes off of Selina.

Behind him the door closed. And he stared at her. "What in the hell was that?" He asked, completely uncertain of what he had seen.

"It's me, Kyr." She said. In a tone that sounded far too much of Cien.

He looked at her with uncertainty and he swallowed. "What is this?"

"Kyr, it's me." She said quietly, standing up and taking a step towards him.

He took a step back. Of all the horrors of this night, this was the worst.

"It was the only way. I…" She said. "She was going to kill me. Kill the twins. This was the only thing I could do to survive. Take her over, and," she stopped. "Kyr, it's me."

"No." Kyr said, taking a step back.

"It's me. Ask me anything. The beach, the cookie, our first kiss. The dining room." She said, taking a step forward. "I -"

"No!" Kyr said, looking at her in horror. "What are you saying, that, that you…?" He asked, unable to comprehend the thought.

"I had to." She repeated, putting her hands out placatingly, in an awful way that reminded him too much of Cien. "All that I am, I transferred into her so that I could make sure my body would survive. So she wouldn't…" She said as tears came to her eyes. "It's me cyar'riduur." She said in a pleading tone.

"No, this," Kyr started, taking a step backward and his heel hit the door. "No." He said, "no, no, no." He repeated.

"I had to, for them. For you, for me." She said, reaching out for him behind the ray shield. "Please, I can fix this and we can be together again. I…" She swallowed, and tears came to Selina's eyes. "Please, I need you." She said quietly.

Kyr shook his head, overwhelmed, and he abruptly turned. He hit the call button, and the door slid open.

"Please!" She called after him as he left.


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