Snippet 276

The (Unwanted) Cliché Choice 5


Genre: Humor/Adventure/Parody

Pairs: Not important

AU-Type: RWBY (with bits of Ice Queendom) [Added secondary series: GTA/FusionFall/Saints Row/HuniePop/Various]

Tags: Our 'SI' is pissed to be there, Metahumor, He has a special set of skills, Italicized text is the SI's thoughts, a bit of Gamer physics (Gamer Lite- think FusionFall/GTA/Saints Row PC)


[You slept in a bed, you regain 100% of your health]

Jaune awoke to look at the clock to see it was six a.m. to which he rolled his eyes. He got out of bed only to remember he was on the top bunk. He caught himself in the air and floated down. With a sigh, he went to shower. He hummed 'Rock the Dragon' as he got to scrubbing his blonde hair. Jaune would finish and get dressed. He got on the [Beacon Uniform] with a pair of those red sunglasses he snatched off Torchwick's goon squad.

"Now to wake-"

PPFFFRRTTTT!

He was cut off by Nora letting out a stinker from her backside while she was sleeping. The smell got Jaune to gag and woke up the others.

"Fuck!" Yang growled. "Jaune, did you-"

"Nora." Jaune said pointing to her.

"Man, wake up!" Yang said kicking Nora's bed getting Nora to wake up.

"I'm going to get breakfast…." Jaune said before leaving the dorm.

As he walked the halls of Beacon, he checked his phone finding a notification that he received the daily 2,000 lien, Isabelle had some words of wisdom, and an e-mail from Glynda. He checked it to find it was a request to come to her office by six-thirty in the morning for a test. He closed it out and went to her office. He knocked on the door…only to find a messy looking Glynda answering the door feeling having a bit of a hangover.

"Shit, what the hell happened to you?" Jaune asked.

"I don't want to talk about it. Why are you even here?" Glynda asked before being shown the e-mail. "Fuck…."

"I'm going to hedge a guess and say this about learning the whole story of Ozma and Salem." Jaune mused as Glynda sighed. "If it makes you feel better, I do have a working theory on how we can break the stalemate. But it'll be a long time before I even attempt to go for that."

"Of course it is." Glynda said before trying to fix herself up. "Here."

She handed him the test and left him to it as she left the room to clean herself up.

Thanks to the System, taking the test was not that much of an issue. Pretty much a general test to gauge my level of intelligence…though ironically, I did wind up looking up a few things on my phone. But really, my goal was to answer as many questions as I could and skip over what I couldn't. Thankfully, formerly being a college student came in handy.

Glynda returned cleaned up with two paper cups of coffee as Jaune put the test on the desk. She gave him a coffee as he downed it all straight with a look of relief.

"Go ahead and get breakfast. You'll be contacted about your results." Glynda said as Jaune left for the cafeteria.

He'd join his team after getting a tray full of breakfast, the pancakes were a bit bland much to his chagrin. He made a mental note to look into skill books on cooking. Aside from it being a needed life skill, he had a feeling it'd get in good graces with everyone.

After some idle chat, and some food in my stomach, I'd get a call from Ozpin to come up to his office. Once I arrived, I sat down and given the rundown of my results. From what Ozpin stated, the test was to measure my equivalence in skill. I didn't expect to score high…and I was pleased with that that most subjects I'd matched up to second and third year equivalency. The only subjects I barely scored over the first years was Legends of Remnant and History. Though Ozpin seemed unconcerned about that.

"It's clear to me that you can qualify to be exempted from the first-year level of classes. I'll bump the grade on the history portion…I assume you can self-study if you can preform well on the other subjects." Ozpin stated as Jaune nodded. "Of course, the lone exception will be Combat Instruction. That's a separate test you'll take first thing in that class. I'm quite interested to see what you're made of, Mr. Arc. It's been some time since we had an 'advanced' student. With this, I can't just have you roaming Vale completely on your own all day, so you'll be apprenticed to Vice Headmistress Goodwitch."

Glynda had walked in to hear that, and she was initially pissed. Until Ozpin explained that she'd have the help she always asked for. A part of me wanted to groan hearing that because I knew Glynda had to deal with daily doses of bureaucracy and bullshit. However, given what I saw of her this morning, she really come use some help and a friendly voice. If anything, she could be a good target to practice working on my charm. If I could get the imposing Goodwitch to crack a smile, it's a start to schmoozing anyone.

Glynda and Jaune rode the elevator down, not sure of what to say.

"I would not take being my apprentice lightly." Glynda said firmly. "Besides, you still have your combat assessment."

"Sounds like a good time to me. I want the fight." Jaune affirmed to which Glynda rolled her eyes.

"Then I will allow you time to prepare yourself." Glynda said.

That was free time for me. Then lunch came around and I met up with my teammates and friends to explain what was going down.

"Lucky bastard. You don't have to write papers for a year." Nora grumbled.

Weiss could only glare at him with envy, but Jaune didn't care. The frosty tsundere was not in his team, and thus not his direct problem.

"You keep glaring at me like that and you'll fuck up your face." Jaune snarked as he finished his food.

"Fuck you." Weiss snapped.

I just called her a tsundere and enjoyed by down time before the next class. Eventually combat class came around and I was up first to fight…Goodwitch herself in the ring. I expected her to use the crop or her semblance. No. This woman does neither and cracks her knuckles. She basically told me to come catch some hands! Not going to lie, that just made her hotter. And the game was survival…to either last five minutes or beat in them. Bring it on.

[Cues Fight BGM: Under Night In-Birth – Night Walker (Linne's Theme)]

Jaune had to admit that Glynda was certainly fast only getting him with a flying kick that he had to slide under. Though he had to cross arms to endure an incoming punch that sent him skidding back. Jaune leapt into action throwing his own punches to meet her own as the stunned students watched the display. Glynda leaps forward to front flip to axe kick Jaune into the ground before standing on his back.

"I don't tolerate cockiness, Mr. Arc." Glynda said.

"No wonder you can't get a date." Jaune snarked before Glynda stomped on his head. "Or maybe you're just sick of the subs."

That got some of the class laugh as Glynda was fuming. Jaune smirked before powering up to knock Glynda off of him.

"Glynda, as much as I liked being stepped on…we can't be doing that in public." Jaune joked.

Glynda was obviously getting more anger, the more I teased her. We fight, she'd get angrier…and get sloppy as I planned. However, I might have ended up biting more than I chew when she uppercutted me into air and telekinetically slammed me into the ground near the edge of the arena.

"Don't have anything to say now!" Glynda snarked. "No quips, no jokes."

She walked up to him.

"You seem to think-"

CRUNCH!

Jaune pumped aura into foot to kick Glynda right in the crotch, sending the professsor's face twisting in pain. Even the students winced at the sight as Jaune tripped her to fall face first out of the arena…with thirty seconds to spare.

[BGM Ends]

"That's our fearless leader!" Nora cheered as Jaune helped Glynda up.

"Sorry about the teasing Glynda, but I had to be a bit pragmatic to get your sloppy enough for me to catch you off-guard. Not going to lie, I had to improvise when I got you a bit too heated." Jaune said politely.

CRUNCH!

I deserved that punch to the nuts. I'm not going to act like I didn't.

"You pass and you're forgiven." Glynda said professionally as Jaune was on knees holding his crotch. "But let it know to you students…that nut shots aren't permitted. Understood?"

The students all nodded.

Class went on and while they were learned…Glynda stuck my ass with paperwork. Though I didn't mind…skill gains are skill gains.


(A/N: A bit short, but I wanted to keep that way as I found these scenes could stand on their own. I wonder who'll get the inspiration behind the fights. Chapters 244 and 272-275 have been reworked to fix errors and such)