Cliff Briscoe didn't have any maps in stock, so Ann decided to ask the gun merchants – and between the two, the guy in a beret was more sociable, so she went to him first.

Across the main motel building were three bungalows, and Bernie 'Burns' Michaels lived in the one on the left. Ann walked up to the front door and gently knocked on it three times. After a moment, it opened, and Burns flashed her a smile. "Hey there, Ann. Thought about the offer?"

"I'm still on the fence," she replied. "By the way, do you have any maps I could borrow?"

"Not really," he replied. "I mean, we have maps, but not paper ones."

"So what kind?"

"Vince owns a Pip-Boy," Burns explained. "It's a small portable computer, and it has a ton of maps on it, and we've been using that for navigation."

Ann remembered the map Yusuke showed her in his notepad. "That works for me. My friend has a sketchbook and a steady hand, he can copy what we need." She pointed behind herself with her thumb. "I'll go and speak to Vince then."

"I'll go with you," Burns offered. "Vince's a grump, he'll probably be gentler with me around."

The two marched across the yard towards one of the motel rooms that Burns entered without knocking.

Vince's room was more of a workshop than a living space. The whole left side of the room was taken over by large cabinets with handwritten labels on them; even though it was all second-hand furniture, Ann could tell Vince put a lot of effort into the organization system. On the right side, there were a few workbenches with a bunch of guns in various states of disassembly on top, and some sort of tools attached to them, most of which Ann wouldn't be able to name. A bunch of wrenches, screwdrivers, hex keys and other hand tools were hanging from the walls above the workbenches. In the back right corner was a dirty mattress and a desk with a computer terminal on top of it. Vince was sitting by the desk on a half-broken office chair, eating something out of a can with a spoon, and giving the newcomers dirty looks for barging in uninvited.

"Damn, you live like this?" Ann blurted out.

Burns snickered in response. "Hey, at least he's got a proper chair as opposed to a milk crate he had a few weeks ago."

"Hey, it was a great crate!" Vince protested. "Good stuff, pre-War industrial plastic, I still have it around somewhere. What do you want?"

"Ann's asking if she can borrow your Pip-Boy and copy some maps."

"Well, let my friend copy them," Ann elaborated.

"I'm not letting my Pip-Boy leave this room," Vince replied. "If she wants to copy stuff, she can do it here, on one condition."

"Which is?" Ann asked, eyeing the door in case things turn creepy.

"Admit you and your buddy are time travelers."

"Uh, what?"

"Vince, we talked about this," Burns remarked, disappointed.

"Yeah, yeah, 'don't just spring it on her without warning'," Vince replied. "I don't feel like going through a whole song and dance to get her to trust me enough to tell me. She's a pale squeaky-clean teenager that speaks Japanese, what other excuse could there be?"

"I'm sorry about him," Burns told Ann. "We've got no ill intentions, and we're not gonna spread that info or anything. We're just curious, that's all."

"Fine, I'm a time traveler, whatever," Ann rolled her eyes, faking exasperation. "By the way, you didn't say you know Japanese."

"I don't. I just know how it sounds 'cause I've seen some animation from your country."

"You mean porn."

After a beat, Vince replied "…well, not exclusively." He reached into a pocket of his trenchcoat. "Anyway, here's the Pip-Boy." He pulled out a device the size of a large book and slammed it on top of his desk. "Now, get the artist here, I'll show you how to navigate the maps."

Ann turned around and left the workshop, then trotted back up to the door of her room and stuck her head inside. Yusuke was sitting on a couch, inspecting a bit of Abraxo he had poured on his hand; he had little experience with abrasive powders. "[Did you purchase some maps?]" he asked.

"[Nope, but the gun merchants will let you copy some from a tablet or something.]"

"[Splendid.]" Yusuke carefully poured the powder back in the box and stood up. "[Considering my limited skill set, I am eager to be useful in any way possible.]"

"[Oh, like I have useful skills beyond knowing the language.]" Ann retorted, as they both left the room and she pulled out the key to lock it. "[By the way, they assume we're time travelers. I did not confirm, but I did not deny it either.]"

The two marched downstairs, back to Vince's workshop. "[Are we not though?]" Yusuke asked. "[I mean, I am far from knowledgeable about the United States but I do not think even the rural areas are so-]"

"And who is this?"

The two turned towards the voice and saw Crawford staring at them with a faint frown on her face.

"Hello again, Mrs Crawford," Ann greeted her. "This is Yusuke, one of my friends." She turned to him. "[That's the motel owner that graciously gave me a place to stay. Be polite.]"

Yusuke bowed in greeting. "Konnichi wa, Crawfordo-san." he said, in his best shot at pronouncing the surname.

"And where did he come from?" she asked, injecting some venom into the pronoun.

Ann turned to him. "[She's asking me where you came from, what do I tell her?]"

Yusuke showed her on the map. "[I woke up near a settlement called 'Searchlight', a few hours south from here.]"

Crawford crossed her arms. "And he doesn't speak English, huh?"

"Unfortunately." Ann wanted to keep her cover story consistent. "He's a tribal that traveled alongside us to see the wider world. He woke up a few hours south from here and came to town not that long ago."

"Where do you plan to keep him?"

"In my room," Ann replied. "He can take the bed and I can take the couch."

Crawford did not appear reassured. "Well, I hope he can find a job soon, because I do not have patience for freeloaders in my town."

With the knowledge that her friends are out there, Ann had just enough confidence to gently push back: "Ma'am, I do not appreciate those remarks. Both myself and Yusuke are doing the best we can with our skill sets in our current circumstances. Have we done anything to warrant such distrust?"

Crawford opened her mouth, and after a brief pause, said: "No, not yet. And I expect you to keep that state of affairs. Breaches of polite etiquette will not be tolerated."

"Understood." Ann didn't feel like escalating that any further. "By the way, Mr. Michaels offered me a job – going to a trading outpost and helping them bring a bunch of guns. How trustworthy are he and his friend?"

"I think they're decent, for the most part," Crawford replied. "They're crass, like most ex-military men, and Mr. Danger's not a people person on top of that, but as far as I can tell, they are honest and hard-working men. Mr. Michaels makes a lot of friends with people he finds interesting, but as far as I can tell, no inappropriate stuff is involved."

"Good," Ann scowled. "I've dealt with enough creeps in my life already. Now, pardon me, ma'am, but, uh, Mr. Danger offered to let us copy some maps of the area, so we're gonna go now. [Yusuke, we're leaving.]"

"Take care," Crawford said as they walked away.

The two turned around and marched to Vince's workshop. "[What did you two talk about?]"

"[Oh, she got huffy about us not finding work within a few hours of dropping in a completely new area]" Ann replied. "[I also asked her for an opinion on the gun merchants, and she said they're fine.]"

"[Do you believe her?]"

"[Not fully, but we gotta make do with flawed sources.]"

Ann opened the door to Vince's workshop to let Yusuke in.

"Hey again," Burns told him, raising his hand slightly in greeting.

"[Good afternoon]" he replied.

"Yeah, yeah, come over here," Vince gestured at the two, then picked the device up from his desk. The right and middle thirds of it were covered by a monochromatic screen, tinted orange. In the top left corner was a faded logo of some sorts, reading "Pip-Boy 2500", below it, some vacuum tubes covered with a grating, and below that, three buttons connected to the screen with separate wires, labeled 'STATS', 'ITEMS' and 'DATA'. Vince pushed that last button with his left thumb and showed the display to Ann and Yusuke. "Here's the map. Drag your finger across the screen to move it around, swipe up and down the right edge of the screen to zoom in and out." He let Ann take the device from his hands. "If you need today's date, it's in the upper right corner."

Ann translated the instructions for Yusuke, demonstrating along the way. Both of them quietly acknowledged that apparently the year was now 2281. "[And here we are]" she said, putting the Novac map marker smack dab in the middle of the screen.

"[Any particular bit you want me to focus on?]" Yusuke asked.

"[Start with the road from here to 188.]"

"[Got it]" Yusuke said, pulling out the sketchbook and pencil and setting everything down on one of the workstations. "[In the meantime, you could speak with the gun merchants; if they assume we're time travelers, they might shrug off questions revealing our lack of knowledge of obvious-to-them things.]"

"[That's what I hoped to do]" Ann said, then turned to Burns. "So, uh, now that you have my number – can I ask you some questions?"

"Do you have to?" Vince asked.

"Let's make it a game," Burns said with a smirk. "A question for a question." Noticing Ann's scowl, he added "Nothing lewd or anything. Stuff like 'what year you're from?' and 'what did you do before ending up here?'."

"Hm. Okay then, we're from the year 20XX."

"Ooh, pre-War," Vince remarked.

"...what war?"

"The Great War of 2077," Burns explained.

"Honestly, it wasn't really a conventional war. The States nuked China, China nuked the States, and everyone else got nuked in the crossfire," Vince explained. "Things have been going to shit way before that though, so you made a good call by bailing."

"Rrrrrright," Ann said, at a loss of words.

"[You lost your confidence]" Yusuke remarked.

"[Well, turns out that if we ever manage to get back, we'll have sixty-odd years before the world gets bombed back to the Stone Age.]"

Yusuke scowled. "[Considering all the escalation over the past few months, that scans.]"

"Let's say follow-up questions don't count," Burns proclaimed. "Now, your turn."

Ann decided to start with a simple, generic question. "What do you think about Crawford?"

Vince let out a scoff. "Novac is a serious town and you will treat it with the respect it deserves, gosh-darn-it," he said, in a mocking high-pitched voice.

"Yeah, we don't interact with her that often, but as far as we can tell, she gets very defensive about people that challenge the prestige of her little town," Burns explained. "And, like, I don't wanna be mean, but Novac is a bunch of people living off scavenging that don't even get to scavenge anymore because feral ghouls took over the one good spot in the area."

"Yeah, I've heard of that problem," Ann remarked. "Sadly, I'm not useful in a fight."

"And what about the artist?" Vince asked.

"Well-"

She was interrupted by a sound of something vibrating in her pocket. Burns and Vince gave her a glance, jumping to wrong conclusions.

"I'm counting that as a question," Ann said, pulling out her phone and displaying it to the two. "This is a cell phone."

"What, like a phone powered by energy cells?" Vince asked.

"I don't think so. And I dunno where the name came from. Gotta ask someone la-" She finally noticed who was calling. "[Bastard.]"

Yusuke glanced at the screen. "[Ooh, the plot thickens]" he said, intrigued.

"Yeah, no hablemos japonés," Burns quipped.

"This is a very long story," Ann said, picking up the call. "Someone that should be rotting in the ground is now calling me."

"Good afternoon, Takamaki-san," Akechi said on the other end of the line. "[And hello to you too, Kitagawa-san, I believe you do not speak the local language.]"

"[Regrettably, that is true]" Yusuke said. "[Greetings, by the by.]"

"Yeah, this will need to stay in our language so Yusuke stays in the loop," Ann told Burns and Vince, before putting the call on loudspeaker. "[First things first, how the fuck are you still alive?]"

"[It's a funny thing, actually]" Akechi remarked. "[You see, Amamiya-sama befriended a guy that got godlike powers, and that guy offered him a wish, and he wished to bring me back from the dead.]"

"[I recognize the sarcasm, but that does sound in-character for Akira]" Yusuke remarked. "[He took your death… well, your purported death rather poorly.]"

That took Akechi aback. "[Um, er…]" He recovered a few seconds later. "[That adds up, he's always been a fool.]"

"[Yes, ha, very funny]" Ann deadpanned. "[But seriously, how did you end up in this world, alive?]"

"[Well, I ran away from the Engine Room with one of these return-to-entrance thingamajigs and then hid in Mementos for a few days, until you stole Shido's heart]" Akechi explained. "[Then I kept my head down until that stupid god summoned me and sent me to this fucking shithole to finish the job or whatever. Not that I'm interested in chasing stupid vengeance anymore, but that's not why I'm calling.]"

Yusuke wasn't convinced. "[So, that deity thought just banishing us to this world would be insufficient, but sending you after us – as unprepared for this world as everyone else and reportedly unmotivated to follow through – would make a difference?]"

"[I guess? Sometimes people do stupid things because they're stupid.]" Beat. "[You cannot see this, but I'm gesturing at myself right now.]"

"[I'm not buying this]" Ann said. "[Even if you're not stupid enough to pick a fight with us any more, there is no damn reason for you to reveal yourself.]"

Akechi took a breath. "[Takamaki-san, I am standing in the middle of a town slaughtered almost to a man by a bunch of psychopathic larpers, that's a good enough reason.]"

"[...I'm sorry, what?]"

"[It's a long… okay, a medium-length story. Save the questions for the end.]"

And so Akechi told them everything – or at least told them what he told Futaba; the cliff notes version of local politics and everything that happened between him walking into Nipton and now. Ann and Yusuke listened intently, Burns just watched them lose a large chunk of their confidence, and Vince picked up his can of food and continued eating.

"[...and she told me to call you with my warning]" Akechi finished. "[Any questions?]"

Ann and Yusuke didn't say anything, mulling it all over.

"[...please tell me you believe me.]" Akechi pleaded.

"[Stay on the line for a moment.]" Ann tapped the mute button, then glanced at Burns and Vince. "I just got… a report from an untrustworthy source."

"I think I picked up some proper names from it," Burns said, with a faint frown of sympathy. "Like 'Caesar's Legion'."

"Oh boy," Vince muttered, not unsympathetic. "We're ripping that band-aid off already."

"Yes." Ann braced herself. "Apparently, uh…" She hesitated. She wanted that to be another lie from an untrustworthy backstabbing asshole, because the alternative was way more disturbing. "Apparently there's a war of some kind going on, and apparently one of the sides in that war, Caesar's Legion, attacked the town of Nipton and… killed most people in it and tortured the rest. They also waited for someone to come in to tell them they did that and spread the news."

Burns inhaled air through his teeth. "Yeah, the part about the war is true, and the part about the sacking is… plausible. The Legion… does things like that to people. If you need one-hundred-percent confirmation, we could ask Andy. He's an ex-Ranger too, he lives in the bungalow next to me and he keeps in touch with active rangers by ham radio."

"Don't bother," Vince said. "Occam's Razor. If the guy's as much of a fish-outta-water as these two, he wouldn't come up with such a plausible lie."

"Right." Ann unmuted her phone. "[The locals say you're not lying. For once.]" She picked up Vince's Pip-Boy and tried to find Nipton on the map. "[Despite… well, everything, you have my sympathy, Akechi-san. Nobody should've gone through things like this.]"

"[Better me than you]" Akechi replied, with conviction. "[Sakura-san mentioned you're in, quote, 'a town'. How secure it is if the larpers attack?]"

"[I'll ask.]" Ann glanced at Burns. "How secure is this town if the lar-, uh, Legion attacks?"

"I'm gonna say 'very'," Burns replied. "We've got an ex-First-Recon sniper in the dino mouth at all times, a retired but still kicking NCR Ranger, a second one in yours truly," he gestured at Vince, "and my buddy here, who's a crack shot with a grenade launcher."

"It's safer to stay here than it'd be to try and go somewhere more fortified," Vince added.

Ann made note of that fact.

"Fantastic," Akechi said, in English. "Since I'm speaking to you directly, introductions are in order, I assume. Goro Akechi, psychotic bastard."

"Bernie Michaels, gun merchant. Are you in the market for a new firearm, maybe?"

"I cannot afford a new gun right now, but how much would a spare nine-mil magazine for a P226 cost?"

"Catch me in my workshop in Novac and I'll put some together for five caps a pop," Vince said.

"I will consider that, once I'm free of other-"

"[So are we safe here or not?]" Yusuke asked.

Ann turned to him. "[In short, yes. Can I double-check something on the map?]" She swiped the screen of the Pip-Boy a few times. "[Looks like Akira and Makoto have a direct route from that outpost to us – if they go through what remains of Nipton without getting shot.]"

"[Like I said, I am no longer interested in pursuing stupid vengeance]" Akechi said. "[The convicts I saved are protective of me for some reason, so I have to politely request that Amamiya-sama and Niijima-san don't start anything.]"

Yusuke processed that sentence for a moment. "[...are you taking the mickey right now, Goro-san?]"

"[Uh, no, I am completely serious.]"

Yusuke pinched his nose in frustration. "[Akira is one of the few people that mourned your death. Makoto has repeatedly demonstrated she will stick to the spirit of the laws as opposed to the letter of it. And you confidently proclaim they will just… try to kill you on sight? Based on what assumptions?]"

"[Well, last time we interacted, I tried to kill you all,]" Akechi retorted, in a somewhat obnoxious tone. "And now you have a chance to-]"

"[We had chances before!]" Yusuke raised his voice. "[If we wanted you dead, you would not have survived past November! Maybe you have learned something from your latest defeat, but you still operate based on some distorted image of us as opposed to the reality in front of your goddamn face!]"

Silence followed, as Yusuke took a few deep breaths to calm down. After a pause, Vince remarked: "That sounded spicy."

"We have… history," Ann said, euphemistically.

"I betrayed them and tried to kill them," Akechi didn't bother. "And then things got complicated."

"I gotta hear that story," Burns remarked.

"I'd rather not tell it," Ann and Akechi went in unison, before each letting out a chortle.

"[Let's just wrap up this conversation]" Yusuke said. "[Futaba was supposed to call us with reports on others and you're holding the line. Feel free to call later though; the language barrier means my pool of conversation partners is very limited.]"

"[Speaking of speaking to others]" Ann said, "[do you plan to tell everyone else about your survival?]"

"[Sakura-san will break the news] Akechi replied. "[I'm not touching Okumura-san with a three-meter pole, and… well, even with your reassurance, I still hesitate to approach Amamiya-sama directly.]"

"[Fair.]" After a pause, Ann asked: "[So, I guess for now we leave you alone and you leave us alone. What will you do now?]"

"[Fucked if I know. Hide the bodies so when Amamiya-sama and Niijima-san come over, they don't get traumatized.]"

"[And in the long term?]" Yusuke asked.

"[See previous answer.]"

"[So, what will happen to the convicts you saved?]"

Akechi groaned. "[I don't want to leave them alone, but I don't have any idea what to do with them either. I mean, I have food and medicine for a few days, but there's not much left for them here and like I told you, the authorities don't care. There's a settlement of ex-cons somewhere north of where I am that might take them in, but it's two days away on foot and some of them aren't in good enough shape to make that trip. The one idea I have is to shoot any more motherfuckers that come over and try to attack us, then loot their bodies and pawn whatever they have on themselves. I am genuinely, unironically open to better ideas.]"

"[I'll mention to Futaba that you need help]" Ann told him. "[She's currently the unofficial intel coordinator, maybe she'll come up with something. Keep her posted about whatever's happening in your area, so she can forward it to Akira and Makoto if need be.]"

"[And do not beat yourself up about your lack of options, Goro-san]" Yusuke added. "[You have already done an admirable job saving those people, and that matters.]"

"[Eh]" Akechi grumbled in response. "[I just killed a bunch of people, in self-defense for once. I don't feel like a hero.]"

"[You also provided medical assistance and fetched supplies, didn't you?]"

"[It doesn't cancel out all the murder I did before we got dumped here.]"

Ann thought for a moment about how to phrase her thought, before saying: "[No, but it still counts. You've saved a dozen people that apparently nobody else gives a damn about. It won't undo the harm you caused, but pretending you can't do anything good in your life anymore because of it is surrender. And last time I checked, you're too stubborn for that.]"

Akechi said nothing at first. After a pause, he muttered. "[This is… Everything's a lot now.]"

"[I can imagine]" Ann replied. "[Tell you what, we'll call you back later and talk about it, once I get everyone's positions from Futaba.]"

"[Do you seriously have nothing better to do than play therapist to a sociopathic bastard?]"

"[I am stuck in this town for now, so I actually don't.]"

"[Well, there's the motel room to clean]" Yusuke pointed out. "[But we can do that and converse.]"

After considering that for a moment, Akechi said, standoffish: "[You know what? Fine. Sure. Why the fuck not. Despite my best attempts at ending my miserable existence I am still alive and kicking. Venting to you sounds like a good first step to deal with the mess in my fucking brain.]" After a pause, he added, calmer: "[Thank you, Takamaki-san. I'm getting off the line now, stay safe out there.]"

"[Same goes to you, Goro-san. Farewell.]"

"[Yeah, bye.]" Ann hung up and glanced at Burns. "Right, where were we? I think it was your turn to ask a question."

"Who was this guy?" Burns asked. "Like, I know you don't wanna go into details, but I'm really curious."

Ann sighed. "This is a long story. Bottom line is that last time we interacted he tried to kill us and now apparently he doesn't for one reason or another. My friends know or will know to watch out for him, so he's low on the threat scale."


Akechi put his phone away, wondering how he should feel about all that.

On the one hand, the Thieves were just too gentle with him, the naive bleeding heart dumbasses. He had half a mind to just call Okumura-san and tell her "hey, I'm in Nipton, come and finish this"; she would definitely not let him walk away after everything that had happened. On the other hand, the fact they were willing to give him the time of the day meant that they were willing to let him warn them about the fucking trainwreck of a world, so it was a net positive, he guessed. It was a small thing, but hey, knowing is half the battle.

Mildly content, he marched up to the town's west entrance to start getting the heads off the pikes when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, saw 'Akira' in the caller ID, and rejected it reflexively.

When he registered what he just did, he got angry at himself. "[Oh, of fucking course]" he muttered to himself, "[murdering the guy was all well and good but talking to him afterwards is the scary part, apparently. Stupid worthless bastard…]"

Akira tried to call him again. Despite his frustration with himself, Akechi still didn't have the courage to pick it up. After a moment, the phone stopped buzzing, and a notification about a missed call popped up at the top of the screen. A few seconds later, a text message came up, written in romaji:

I am in the Mojave outpost and I have heard about the wounded convicts.

Maybe I can help get them somewhere safe. I am not doing anything behind your back though.

Call me.

After a pause, another message

Also, nobody is going to shoot you. I just want to help. Trust me for once.

Inside Akechi, two thoughts clashed. Thought one was to drop his phone and run, run and hide, avoid the bloody Phantom Thieves, jump off a cliff and hope that works. Thought two was anger, directed at himself. He had fought tooth and nail to keep the convicts alive and supplied to the best of his abilities and now, when there's a sliver of a chance to get this story a happy ending, he was going to bail? To fucking SURRENDER?!

Thought two won. Gripping his phone tightly, he tapped the notification and dialed Akira's number. After a moment, his voice came out of the speaker:

"[Well, well, well. Does that make us back-from-the-dead buddies?]"


I really, really, really should've handwaved a reason for Yusuke to speak English, in retrospect.

Vince's Pip-Boy 2500 comes from A Familiar Friend - Pip-Boy 2500 - Handheld Pipboy by EdisLeado. Disclaimer: said mod is over ten years old (the rule of thumb for FNV modding is to use mods 5 years old at most) and I've heard that it causes some offset bugs that can be fixed by Handheld Fixes by Hitman47101 and carxt. I've never used either of those mods, and included them solely as another Mike and Zach reference.

Also, only now I realized that Pip-Boys don't show the user the full year, just the last two digits, but let's call that artistic license :P