Resting in the bundle of blankets her mother had so lovingly knitted from bundles and bundles of soft, delicate yarn, her sweet, blue-eyed boy giggled and reached up with wriggling fingers to be held. Padme smiled as she leaned over him, dusting kisses across his smooth face and scooping his slight weight into her waiting arms. He was the most beautiful little thing she had ever seen. The Senator bounced her child, laughing as he cooed in delight, tugging at one coil of her hair as if to pull his mother even closer.

Her lovely, little Luis… how was it possible to love someone so entirely in such a short time of knowing him? The very moment he was placed in her arms, the galaxy shifted forever in his image. The stars seemed to scrawl his name across the skies night after night. He was her very heart. Her truest love.

As Padme leaned down to kiss her baby once more, Luis' small weight vanished from her arms. The blankets her mother had crafted fell uselessly to the floor by her feet.

She turned, frantically, as the nursery began to seep and melt before her very eyes, drip, drip, dripping into colourless nothing as the beautiful room faded away. She howled a scream so loudly that the gods themselves would hear as –

Padme bolted awake with a startled cry.

There was no nursery or child to be found around her. Only the sterile medcenter room the sky-ambulance had rushed her to. By some small mercy, her memories of the journey were faint and vague, though Padme wished they did not exist at all. She felt utterly drained. Depleted.

She lost him… Her sweet baby boy... she lost him. The doctors had reluctantly confirmed the child's sex upon her pleading because she had to know who the galaxy had taken from her, Luis or Leia, she had to know who to mourn. The additional anguish of knowing who she was forced to say goodbye to was a sorrow unlike any the Senator had ever known. Her little boy would never lay in her arms or feed on her breast or live and grow and love or laugh… he was just... gone. She had never even felt him move or kick. How was she supposed to bear this? Fresh tears spilt from her raw, reddened eyes soaking Padmé's already damp cheeks.

Sniffling, she forced herself to take deep, steadying breaths, listening to the rhythmic beeping of the machines on either side of her bed. Somehow while out of her mind with pain, terror and despair, Padme had momentarily found the clarity to ask for her sister. Sola had rushed to her side and held her, wept with her and stroked her hair until the medicine lulled her into an unsteady sleep. Whenever she woke throughout the night, her sister was still by her side, fast asleep by the bedside clutching her cold, limp hand.

On the bedside table, an elaborate display of beautiful Nubian blossoms sat in a plain medcenter vase. The small card read a message of condolences from Obi-wan and Satine, the only people outside of her family who knew what had happened. The only other people who would mourn Luis in the whole galaxy and theirs would be only a passing thought before he was forgotten.

This was almost enough to send Padmé into the hysterics of despair once more.

"You should come home to recover," Sola had whispered into her hair earlier that day, "Anakin can join us once he returns. It will do you worlds of good to be home with us right now. We'll take care of you, Padme."

The offer was overwhelmingly tempting. Padme wanted nothing more than her mother's comfort right now. She wanted to be held like she was a small girl again and hear her mother murmur soft, soothing assurances into her ear until the pain blurred away. Not that she believed this would truly ever leave her. How could it when her baby boy was gone?

Her wounded heart longed for Naboo and home, but she couldn't leave Coruscant before Anakin returned. If he came home to find her gone, someone would tell him what happened, he would know before she saw him. The thought was a white-hot blade thrust through her chest. No. She had to stay. Padme had to be the one to tell him, even if the grief would be her ending, Anakin had to hear it from her.

In the quiet, now that she was alone, she tried to imagine what happened now. What the days and weeks ahead looked like with Luis gone. She would have to return to work and carry on as if he never existed at all and the wedding... Her wedding would be cancelled properly now. They were only rushing this marriage for the sake of the baby, now there was no need for him to lose his inheritance and place by Vader's side.

Sola could direct her handmaidens to return the baby's clothes and cradle, she didn't want to see them in that bedroom, waiting for a baby who wasn't coming home. Her miserable heart felt like tearing in two, the ache of it so violent she almost gasped out loud. Things were going to get better eventually. They had to. Life would go back to how it was... before.

They were perfectly happy before, weren't they? After some time, maybe they would be happy again. Maybe she might feel like smiling again like her chest hadn't been cleaved in half. Now Anakin could have the life he'd always wanted for himself, continuing to lead the Empire's military to the greatness he always had and help Vader throughout his rule. And Padme... she could learn to live without a family of her own. She loved him enough to let go of that dream now the ashes of it lay all around her.

Just come home to me, Ani… Come home and I'll do my best to be happy.

Padme shuddered though the room was not cold. She tugged the thin blanket up to her chin and huddled her knees to her body. Everything was different now. The galaxy had fractured irreparably now she had to learn how to live an existence where her baby was dead. Her body would heal but would her heart? She would find a way to live with the agony, to be happy with Anakin and their life together but a piece of her would always feel missing. Gone. Stolen away.

Time crawled passed as the Senator drifted between sleeping and crying into her pillow as doctors and med-droids administered medicines and soft words to heal her suffering body. Every part of her longed for Anakin's return. She wanted his arms around her and his lips to whisper words of soothing love in her ear. Sola had come and gone to find her something to eat, Padme wasn't sure how long ago that had been.

She sat up, propped up by pillows feeling a morsel better after a kind-eyed, purple-skinned, Mirialan nurse had helped her bathe and dress in the loose, comfortable white nightgown and matching shawl Sola had brought over from her apartment. The compassionate woman had brushed the tangles from her hair from all the twisting and turning throughout the night and helped her back into her freshly remade bed with a gentle smile. Now alone once more, the Senator reached to switch on the holo-net news, craving a distraction, when frantic, footsteps thundered outside her door.

Padme stilled, her heart beginning to thunder in her chest as the private door slid open and Corde threw her body through the growing sliver of space the moment the gap became wide enough, her face pale with exertion as she leaned two hands heavily upon the bottom of her bed. "My lady! I… I attended the Senate session with Dorme acting as… as your decoy…"

"What is it?" She snapped without truly meaning it, but her friend's panting pauses were intolerable right now. "Corde, what's happened?"

"Word was sent to your private communication lines just twenty standard minutes ago, my lady. Prince Anakin has returned! He, the 501st and 212th have made their landing in the military base and will arrive shortly." The woman smiled tightly, "Dorme has already departed to inform the Prince that you're here. It shouldn't be too long now."

"He's home?" Her constricted painfully as fresh tears built in her wide eyes, "He… Anakin's alive? He's back safely?"

"Yes, my lady," Corde nodded, "According to the information we have received, his Highness appears to be safe and well, thank the Goddesses."

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Padme was not entirely sure who she thanked but whispered it regardless. He was coming home to her! Shutting her eyes tightly, she felt tears on her cheeks as joy and dread filled her heart in equal parts.

She had to tell him.


Waiting was a cruel agony. Each moment tick, tick, ticked away on the chrono hanging on the wall, tick, tick, tick, thickening Padme's dread as she tried to practice what to say as if it were a speech she would be delivering to the senate later on. There were no words to disguise the pain she endured or how badly she wished that he had been here to hold her through it. The latter, she decided to keep to herself, erasing those words from her mind altogether. There was enough pain already, no need for salt in their wounds too.

Her heart pulsed frantically. Padme could not tear her eyes away from the door, jolting and holding her breath at every sound her straining ears caught outside of it. Corde said that Dorme left to fetch Anakin for her right away and that had been over an hour ago! She knew there would be press and the royal council seeking answers but should it be taking so long?

From nowhere, voices sounded outside her door, pitched and fervent, as it slid open and her beloved fiancé burst into the room, pale-faced and panting. The sight of him tore a startled gasp from the Senator's lips though her hand raised in a futile attempt to silence it. An angry, reddened burn lined sharply above and below his eye and a purple bruise was swelling to life along his jaw placed there evidently from a punch or blow of some kind. He had shed his armour before his arrival but his black unders were still rumpled and littered in Crait's white salt and vibrant specs of the planet's bright red soil.

Anakin tore off his leather battle gloves as he rushed to Padme's side, dropping them thoughtlessly to the ground as if his sole focus was to reach her. "Padme!" He gasped her name, "I came the moment Dorme told me you were here! What's happened? No one would tell me anything." The very moment he was close enough, her lover cupped her face in his hands as his harsh, turbulent gaze inspected every inch of her available to him.

Gods, Padme hated that after everything he had survived out there, Anakin had come home to this nightmare.

"I…" Her throat swelled tight, blocking her words from escaping. Once she said it, once those black, dreaded words were aired, there would be no going back. Anakin would know and it would be real. It would become truth. Their baby would be dead. As overwhelming as her urge to pretend everything was fine for just a little longer was, as sweet as any denial might be, Padme shook her head against them. He deserved the truth. "I lost it," she whimpered. She buried her fists in his coarse sleeves, waiting and silent for something, anything, to slip from his sealed lips, but Anakin was stone before her. His vivid blue eyes dulled as he faded from her, physically present but his mind went elsewhere. He said nothing, even as she sniffled and clutched at him tighter. "I'm so sorry," she whimpered at last.

Finally, finally, as Padme closed her eyes, gathering her strength to accept his silence, she heard him clear his throat. "I… you lost it…" he muttered though his voice was as distant as she had ever heard it.

The admission was agony enough once, the Senator could not bring herself to speak those three words once more. She nodded shallowly instead, fresh tears warming her pale cheeks as Anakin's now ungloved hands stroked her shoulders and arms. There was no warmth behind the movement, no affection, he was mechanical, acting on instinct alone. "The… they said it happens sometimes." A broken sob hitched Padme's breath. "He came early… there was no stopping it."

"He?" Anakin whispered though his eyes avoided hers.

Face crumping, it was all Padme could do to nod as she reached for his face, forcing their eyes to meet. "Luis," the name was still so beautiful on her lips, how could it not be? Her perfect little boy… "He… they don't have a reason." He gave a slow, subtle nod and though she held his face, he would not look at her. "Ani…"

"I…" Anakin swallowed thickly, "You should rest, my love," he kissed her forehead as he gently tugged her hands from him. "I… I need to report to Ameda and – and the council… I… I'll speak with your doctors and find out when I can bring you home."

Padme's eyes widened as more tears spilled over. Her heart fractured further to see his retreat from her. Where was he? He wasn't here, not mentally or emotionally. "Anakin…" she began but nothing followed. What had happened on Crait to leave him so empty that there was nothing left for her or their child?

Maybe he's relieved? Something whispered inside her mind. He never wanted the baby. He was only doing it for you. Maybe he is happy Luis is gone? That's what he wanted, wasn't it?

"Try to sleep, Angel," Anakin stroked her face, "I'll be back soon." He stood then, though Padme reached for him and failed. He couldn't leave. She needed him here with her! She needed him more than anything right now, he couldn't leave her – he couldn't.

"Anakin!" She called after him as he made his way to the door, "Anakin, wait!"

He did not stop.

As the door slid shut behind him, Padme gave a long, wretched wail as she found herself alone all over again.


I lost it.

He came early.

Luis…

Padme's voice tore through Anakin's mind as he swerved and sped through Coruscant's sky traffic toward the Imperial palace. The moment his ship hovered low enough to the ground that he could free himself, the Prince leapt out of the cockpit, ordering Artoo to stay with the ship. He would not be very long. As he stormed through the vast palace hallways, people called their congratulations on his victory, damning the fallen Rebel scum with cheering cries he barely heard.

For him, there was nothing to celebrate.

The identities of the Alliances' cowardly leaders remained unknown to them, they were nowhere to be found on Crait and they would strike once again when they recovered from this loss. All this pursuit had achieved was the destruction of their latest base and countless arrests of petty citizens willing to throw their lives away for this hopeless cause.

Well, that was not entirely true.

The cryptic weapon which had fuelled the Alliance's arrogance had been… unanticipated. Anakin had not been entirely sure of what to expect when he and his men raided the base room by room, perhaps a new warship with advancements the Empire had not itself made yet or something of that like, but when Rex had found it, circled by twelve shaking men in white shining helmets, grey overalls and black padded waistcoats filled with ammunition ready to defend their hope with their wasted lives, Anakin had not hesitated to ignite his lightsaber and cut them down one by one.

In the smoke and silence of what remained, the very last thing the Prince had expected to find had been a girl.

Young and skinny, the togruta looked up at him with frightened eyes and Anakin had almost fallen to his knees when he felt it. The force… it was strong with her, it surrounded her as vividly as it did Vader or himself… but it was impossible. Only Skywalker blood carried the mythical, elemental power – it was proof they existed to rule the galaxy, that was what his father always said, and yet here the girl was.

"What's your name?" He'd asked the Rebel girl as she stared up at him with blue eyes as bright as his own. Dressed in a plain red dress, she raised her white-marked eyebrow at Anakin as if he were a bother to her.

"Wouldn't it be less rude for you to introduce yourself to me?" She scoffed.

Behind him, Rex and the others coughed to disguise their choked laughter. "You're bold, little one," Anakin shook his head, though his lips tore upwards in a reluctant smile as he extinguished his blade. "I'm surprised you don't know who I am. Anakin Skywalker. Now you."

"Anakin Skywalker…" The girl said slowly, frowning, "Wait, Prince Anakin Skywalker?" Her small mouth gaped. "I didn't expect you to be so…"

"What?" He demanded, nearly aghast as he imagined disappointment in her wide eyes. "So what, exactly?"

"Nothing," she shook her head, bouncing the ends of her blue striped lekku with the movement, "I'm Ahsoka. Ahsoka Tano."

Drawing closer, Anakin knelt before the child, inspecting her closely. "You have the force – a power nobody else has, right? You can feel it flow through you and offer guidance, can't you?" He sensed her potential and it was great. With the right training, Ahsoka could rival him or Vader one day. However the Rebels had come across her, had they figured out how to capitalise upon her powers… well, he did not wish to know what may have happened.

"They said I would be powerful," she nodded, "that I was the key to the Empire's destruction."

"I know it wasn't easy to watch them die," Anakin grimaced, "but these people were traitors and terrorists, Ahsoka. They wanted to use you to spread fear and chaos through the galaxy. That isn't what the force is – we use it to help people and maintain peace. Come with me," he stood to his full height, offering his hand, "come with me and I'll make you my apprentice. You'll master your powers and see the truth of the galaxy."

Ahsoka considered his offer, glancing behind Anakin to the soldiers who stood awaiting his next orders and then to the bodies surrounding them on the salty floor. "They told me the same thing. Why should I trust you?"

Despite himself, Anakin barked a laugh. "You're feisty, little one." Channelling his own power, the Prince lifted the girl into the air with a gentle flick of his wrist. Her eyes widened as her body began to elevate as though gravity abandoned her alone. After a moment or two, he set her on her feet. "You should trust me because, unlike the people who locked you in here with promises of one day and potential training, I can teach you. As my apprentice, you will have freedoms I gather you have not experienced in some time. You will be strong, Ahsoka. Powerful. The choice is yours."

After a moment of consideration, the girl shook his hand.

When Vader learned of Anakin's discovery, he demanded Ahsoka be killed immediately. He believed the girl's very existence was a threat to them, a hindrance to his coming rule. If the people knew others like them existed, it eroded the eminence and prestige of their blood.

"Don't you see?" He shook his head at his brother, "Ahsoka's presence by our side, her loyalty will only further empower us, Vader! If father lied and there are others like us, seeing our acceptance only creates goodwill. They will come forward and strengthen the Empire. I will train the girl and there is nothing you can say or do to stop me."

Vader's golden eyes bulged. "Have you gone mad, Anakin? She will destroy us! If you will not extinguish this threat, brother, then step aside and I will deal with it myself." He reached for his lightsaber, moments away from flicking the humming green blade to life. Behind him, he sensed the spike of fear from the girl and clenched his fists.

"No," Anakin growled, "She lives. I will train her."

"You would defy me?"

"You aren't thinking clearly, Vader! It is the will of the force that our paths crossed with Ahsoka's – why else would the Alliance have found and housed her here of all places?" Stepping closer to his dark-haired twin, Anakin lowered his voice, "She's just a child. She has a right to her life and to master her abilities just as we did. If you wish to harm her, you will have to go through me."

"And me, sir," Rex cleared his throat, clutching his blaster tightly.

"Aye," Cody stood before Ahsoka, "me too."

Others followed their lead and Anakin's eyes widened at the mutiny – his men were loyal to a fault but he had never considered the exact placement of their loyalties before. They had followed him into battle more times than he desired to count. He and his men lived or died by each other's sides… but he had always assumed their fealty and devotion was to Vader and the Empire. His brother was the future Emperor, not him. It was their duty to follow Vader's commands over his own. And yet, the soldiers stood with him against his brother.

Whilst he lurched between fierce pride and dismay at his men's actions, Vader sneered hatefully. He lunged faster than Anakin could have anticipated and swung a hard blow to his jaw, forcing the Prince to stumble backwards into Rex as pain exploded throughout his mouth. He righted himself within a moment but eyed his brother with horror. The only times he and Vader lifted a hand to one another was in training or rough play as boys. They never tried to hurt one another.

As Anakin's hand gingerly touched his jaw, his brother glared at the troopers around them. "This act of disloyalty will not be forgotten. Expect consequences."

It was the last word he had heard from his twin before they departed Crait and returned home.

Anakin had stewed the entire flight even as Artoo tried to persuade him into conversation. He knew that Vader viewed his actions as betrayal but he had no regrets. Ahsoka's presence by his side would strengthen Vader's rule and stabilise the Empire even if the stubborn bantha's ass would not allow himself to see it right now. The Alliance had lost what they believed was the key to the downfall of their House!

He had done what he had to protect Vader, the Empire… and his baby.

So long as Vader was secure upon the throne, Anakin's child would be safe to live and grow freely even if he no longer had any claim to his brother's crown. No one would dare harm a child of royal blood if the monarch was unquestioned. It hadn't mattered if his twin hated him for it, he refused to regret acting in his child's best interest. His actions had ensured his son would be safe.

But now… his son was dead.

There was no child to protect.

Force, this was all his fault! When Padme had told him about the baby, he hadn't wanted him. He asked her to get of him before the boy even had a chance… What if… what if the child knew he wasn't wanted? Had he stopped growing inside of her because he had sensed Anakin's reluctance to love him?

The Prince stormed into his bedroom and leaned heavily upon the door as the grief grew and grew, crushing and smothering him with every thought it inspired. Slowly, he lifted his gaze to the cradle he and Padme had picked out… it seemed so empty now and would remain so. Nobody was coming to fill it. Stalking closer, Anakin glanced down at the knitted blankets perfectly folded and waiting to be wrapped around a tiny, wriggling body. Atop them, a small, stuffed shaak rested awaiting small hands to squeeze and embrace it.

Fuck, he had meant to give this to Padme for the baby before he left…

Not that Luis would ever need it now.

The damned thing gazed up at him knowingly.

It's your fault, it seemed to whisper, you smothered him.

Slowly, Anakin reached for the toy and brought it to his face, his nose, inhaling the soft, fresh smell of its perfect, soft material. He had come around – force, he had wanted the boy! It had been a slow, quiet journey, one he was excited to share with Padme upon his return but he had been too late. The boy was gone before he could even…

He looked at the empty crib with burning eyes as a veil of tears blurred his vision. Without thinking, the grief, the darkness bled into his limbs, controlling Anakin as he withdrew his lightsaber and slashed at the delicate wood brutally, charring it, slicing it into piece by useless, empty piece until nothing but smoking kindling remained where the perfect little cradle had once stood.

The Prince dropped his lightsaber and fell to his knees on the dark carpet, squeezing the stuffed shaak as his breath seemed to flee his body all at once. His son was gone. His child was dead.

I'm sorry, he thought desperately as if the child might somehow hear this late plea, I'm sorry. I changed my mind. I want you. I love you. Come back… come back.

He failed him. He failed Luis. He failed Padme.

He just… he failed them both so monumentally that it had ended his family before it had begun.

Anakin felt the baby right before he left! He didn't understand! He felt the boy – he was alive, he had felt it! And now... now he was just gone? It didn't make any sense! He was supposed to live. He was supposed to hold his and Padme's hand as they made their way through the bright, lively streets of Naboo together. He was supposed to be kissed and embraced by his mother and play with Anakin with training blades and model ships.

From nowhere, a long, broken howl burst through Anakin's clamped lips as his tears finally spilled. I'm sorry, he thought again, I'm so sorry. The Prince sat amongst the destruction and wept for the child he would never have as the intense, wracking waves of guilt which crashed through them at the thought of his own cowardice shook his whole body.

Finally, finally, when it abated, he rose, wiped his face and began to clear up.

Eventually, it was as if the cradle had never been there at all.