A transition chapter but finally, the diverging begins.
two - and it is haunting me now
There is something comforting about the yellow grass.
Bam doesn't pretend his opinion matters, but he knows the tests well. He knows the need for being careful and that he is easy to kill in this body. He looks small and weak and tired. He feels small and weak and tired. And that's a threat to Khun-ssi and he supposes anyone else. He's not sure if he has the strength or energy to protect anyone that isn't his teammate. But it's not something he'll go out of his way to not do so. He has no orders here, nor a master. There is only the thing that kept him going in the darkness (not the night, never the night. Rachel was wrong, and isn't that such a liberating thing to think?), only the people who shine like lights and guide his path.
The yellow grass is tall and almost covers his head. He doesn't really say anything to this.
"By the way, Bam," Khun's voice is easy and smooth and familiar and something in Bam hurts. But he doesn't say so. "Did you bring a pet crocodile with you?"
Bam mouths the words back before shaking his head. "I would not search for a friend if I could care for a pet." Rak is, of course, so much more than a pet. He's a confidant, a friend, a companion. Everything which matters to him.
"Then we're being stalked by a surprisingly quiet competitor." Khun turns around, a curious look on his face. "So, gator, what brings you here? There's no reason to kill anyone here, is there?"
The crocodile looms overhead. Bam had found it intimidating once. It's nostalgic now, as Rak is uniquely present with a spear in hand. Even as his current enemy, Bam finds him a welcome sight. He should have expressed that more in the before. He will do so now.
"I'm not here for you," sneers Rak and it is rather … cute? In its own way. "I want to hunt the black turtle and his weapon."
That isn't how hunting works, Bam thinks. But some things never change, and Rak's single minded approach to life must be consistent. "I do not wish to be hunted."
The spear points at his nose. "I'm not giving you a choice, black turtle!"
Bam sighs. "I'd rather thought not."
"What a sheep," Khun says after a moment. "Just following the path of the mindless goons and killing and killing."
"Do not mistake me for prey, blue turtle." Rak's rumbling is almost friendly, barring the easy jerks of the spear in his hand. He knows how to fish, he knows how to use his weapon. "I am a predator. I hunt only interesting prey."
He doesn't stab them, which is nice. Bam would rather enjoy not having to maim one of his friends now that they are right in front of him.
Now that he is home.
"That sounds like an excuse to me."
And their banter is familiar. He must stop wallowing. "I don't think hunting me here is beneficial. I'm weak and not worth hunting as of yet. Unless there is something you'd like from me?"
Rak cackles. Truly, a testament to power. "It is your weapon that matters here to me, pesky turtle."
"If my weapon is your opponent -" the weapon of a weapon, hah! "- Then it will be an unsatisfying bout. She cannot act on her own and I cannot wield her properly. So please wait a little longer."
He keeps his voice calm, even though there is a part of him, the part that that man honed into him says that in fact, it would be proper and correct if he were to test himself against Rak. He should at least
and assuage Khun-ssi's concerns on if he is a reliable teammate. But - no.
There were other opportunities. Besides, Rak-ssi was important to him. He didn't want to make an enemy of his friend.
Besides, he was agitated enough. It wouldn't be right to tease him too much.
Excuses, sings Hansung Yu deep in his heart, and Bam's smile twists for a moment. That will need to be dealt with. He knows what to do.
Rak swings towards him in his frustration and Bam jumps, twists, and balances with care on the down pointed spear.
"Stay still, pesky black turtle!" He shouts and Bam catches himself as he jerks the spear from the dirt.
"Truly good prey would not roll over and die, Rak-ssi," Bam answers at once and dodges again.
"Are you sure he's not your pet?" Khun says with a snort. "You're handling him rather well."
"Of course not!" Bam feels his cheeks stretch, too natural or unnatural he doesn't know. "I wouldn't dare! I just don't think we should fight for no reason."
In his head, he continues to count, heedless of danger. Rak won't hurt him. He won't hurt Khun. He just…
"Being friends may be nice though," he says.
Rak squawks in outrage and Bam thinks, no he's sure -
The dead boy was different.
But he cannot be the dead boy anymore, so he doesn't bother to fix it. Khun wouldn't know him anyway.
Bam catches himself, rights his grip on Black March and-
Continues to count.
He feels Khun's eyes on him and keeps his smile.
As the Shinsu sings, answers his will, Lero-ro observes.
He hasn't tested many groups of regulars yet. His duty is pretty straightforward, but this group was too big. Therefore he just needs to bring them down a little. A kindly farewell before you start and collapse too soon. He wishes that he had been given that courtesy way back then.
The Shinsu wall thrums before his eyes, and the water rushes in an eternal fall. He smiles, counting them and comparing the notes… wait. Someone is missing.
He scans them all once more. No broken windows, no one collapsed on the ground but…
"Excuse me?"
Lero-ro blinks and resists the temptation to jump, to attack. Empty golden eyes stare up into his.
"Sorry," they say, clutching their weapon and smiling in a way that Lero-ro has seen tens of floors up. Too soft and simple."I tried calling out to you, but you were concentrating quite a bit."
Bullshit. A ranker who was that distracted was dead. That would be just embarrassing. A regular should not be capable of such speed and stealth. This one is…
Twenty-Fifth Bam, he thinks. Strangely sparse amount of data for him. Not much collected from the pocket anyway. Not much to collect.
"It seems your shinsu didn't knock me back," Bam continues. His voice carries across the grumbles of the room. "Should I go back and join everyone?"
What a strange question.
"This is a test, after all," he adds. "It's only right."
Lero-ro regards him and the boy doesn't fidget or flinch. He just waits, accepting of every answer. Any answer.
His dead eyes say, I will just cross again. I have the luck to do it. I have the will. Do you have the will?
And Lero-ro smiles. A monster has burst from the depths of the sea.
"No, Bam, you are very lucky. I must have missed you. You pass."
There's a shout of indignation, more and more of them. And Bam bows. Then he turns and runs back to the barrier anyway in front of his team. Then, he sticks a hand through to his teammates.
The Khun boy stares. They all stare.
"I don't want to be lonely here," he says plainly. "Come on through."
They all stare. Then the Khun boy starts laughing. True amusement makes his shoulders quake and voice tremble as he walks through, barely paused by his bag, still chucking.
"You're a wild one, Bam," he says, still laughing.
The gator glowers at them as he stomps through the Shinsu wall. Bam smiles, and Lero-ro feels something.
A dry chuckle leaves his mouth. That is something worse than a monster.
So he watches them. Khun chats with Bam, the alligator lording over them all. Bam hums along and asks questions. The weapon sits placidly in his arms.
Lero-ro watches Bam's eyes. They do not flicker, nor change in intensity. It doesn't matter what he looks at. Everything is equal in them. Until he looks at Khun. Then he closes his eyes, just so.
As if there is something he cannot say.
To lie to an untrustworthy Khun was a great skill.
Lero-ro wonders what would be so worth it.
Someone yells their rage into the sky, a weak-hearted one who can only manage the Shinsu they were born breathing. As Lero-ro passes the three to speak with him, Bam says, almost dreamily.
"They must want to win no matter what?"
"Don't you," Khun laughs.
Bam smiles and his eyes open again to regard Lero-ro with a hollow understanding.
"I have already won," he says.
A chill, unintentional, runs down the ranker's spine.
Hansung Yu has a reputation of tormenting Regulars.
It's fairly earned and he agrees with it (and agitates his staff too!) but it does have a purpose.
Regulars and Rankers aren't too different to him. In terms of power, surely, but in terms of desire, regulars are hungrier, more careless with their meals because they think they can devour them.
If it is torment to slip in poison to blood then he torments them, and gleefully so. There's no greater lesson than direct teaching after all.
It's too bad though. Only some of the regulars are able to put up a decent thought process. They must be cautious with this round.
A delightful shudder runs through his body as he reads the message from one of his staff.
We should watch Twenty-Fifth Bam.
It's far too late for that. We've been waiting for him for such a long time. Finally. The game can begin.
It's time.
A mirthless smile threatens to cleave Bam in two. Everything else was important because it was time with Khun and Rak but this… this was the moment. Here, he'd prove he was worth keeping. Here he could finally prevent his own death -
The horrible burning acid like a starving void -
He could fulfill Bam's dearest wish!
Viole, the weapon, wills himself to serenity. Do not overextend, do not explode. You must complete the function and perform the task, Viole, don't lose yourself to unsteady human things now!
Bam merely listens to the people around him, leaning on Rak's huge leg. He's a comfortable presence. For the old self, he was very protective and ultimately kind, if rather loud.
"You will listen to your leader," says the alligator and Bam hums agreement.
"You are very wise," Bam tells him because he is. He is not as cunning as Khun-ssi, but Rak-ssi is his own type of genius.
Bam clenches and unclenches his hands, willing his heart to stop racing, willing, demanding, begging this feeble, silly human body to behave itself. It's soon, it's so soon, but he must behave.
"Do not bounce so much, black turtle," Rak says suddenly. "You are not a rabbit."
"Yes, Rak-ssi." He tries, goodness he's trying his best but-
The opportunity is there. He will finally seize it.
It's a relief when Khun returns, bag lighter. (Bam really hadn't paid attention back then, but there had been something in the bag. It was explicitly present and thrumming with something, breathing in and out of shinsu perhaps? He'd have to test it.) He can focus on Khun, who looks less rattled. There's still something dark and unpromising in his eyes.
It would be wise to tell him that Hansung Yu cares in his own way, but that he is also, of course, a sadist. You do not teach students without at least a little sadism in your heart, in his mind.
Bam doesn't know. He has never taught anyone .Weapons don't teach the way other people learn. But he's sure Hansung thinks himself above such things.
"Are you all right, Khun-ssi?" He leans, not too close, but inspects his face. "You look pale."
Khun blinks before smiling. "That's just the natural Khun complexion, Bam. Don't worry so much."
Not an order, Bam is relatively sure, but a preference on Khun's part. An illogical and impossible one but Bam will listen anyway. "If you're sure, Khun-ssi."
And then, then then then, finally Lero-ro invites them to the bonus game. Bam pays it little mind, he's heard it before. Instead, he looks at Anak Jahad.
Now, realistically, and with more understanding, Bam knows that Anak is not incorrect for her views, nor her upcoming desire for the Black March. One of the corrections Hansung had made was regarding that. However, to covet what belongs to others when you could barely handle your own was laughable at best, and conceited at most.
High and lofty ideals for weapons of Jahad.
And regardless, before he belonged to his friends, he owes Yuri much much more than he could ever put into words. He would not fail her.
"Let's watch," Khun says quietly. Rak humphs and Bam says nothing. He watches.
Jahad's blood makes a tougher body, for certain, and a natural talent far beyond that of a typical regular. However, they fell from their arrogance and tendency to overshoot themselves.
The small pond could still drown them.
"I was right to avoid hunting her," Rak says suddenly. Bam glances up.
Khun hums, watching intently.
Bam… waits. His fingers tighten around Black March's hilt.
Laure is a strong person, clever and straightforward. He is the best person to unsettle Anak.
And then, a thrill races up his spine as Green April ignites.
For a moment, Bam doesn't understand. The agitation from Black March he knows. He braces his hands for it and it rattles his body. But he remembers that woman's breathless whisper of -
Ignite.
And… what if… it couldn't be…
Had he brought the thorn with him?
It still shouldn't react to the Thirteen Months… or maybe it's just the Shinsu it's reacting to-
"Ssh…" he manages. "Ssh, March. She's coming. Stop."
March of course does not stop. And the bars shatter. He feels Khun and Rak rise protectively on either side of him, despite Khun knowing, he has to know, that Bam may not be as weak as he looks. But Rak's scent of these things is stronger than that so…
Don't smile, Viole, don't smile. You are repaying a debt, you are ensuring better circumstances don't give away anything.
Anak glares into his eyes. It's presumptuous to meet her gaze, but Bam does so anyway as March settles.
"Give me the Black March." Her voice is full of human contempt and authority. "Someone like you isn't worthy of it."
Before he'd said the words through pain and fear and out of defiance. He know what he should say, but all Viole can reply with is, "You are assuming you are worthy of it. Why would I give it to you? I know who it belongs to. I will return it to them."
The air thickens with tension and apprehension. Bam can feel Khun's eyes on him but he doesn't look away. He doesn't dare.
Then Anak lets out a long sigh. "You just don't understand the situation. I'm taking it from you, no matter what. So give it willingly and you'll live."
"How magnanimous of you." Bam reaches without blinking, for the thing in him, the Shinsu around him. Drive it to your feet, be ready to spring. "But I won't do it. Yuri-noona is worth more respect than that."
Rak chortles and Bam resists the urge to smile.
Anak's eyes narrow. "You are an idiot. All your friends are gonna die-" she pulls her fist back, likely thinking she can smack him around a little (re: near death, and take the Black March with a clear conscience.
Bam makes himself sigh in relief as Lero-ro approaches, full of reproach. He hopes it's about the rules and not a soft spot for him. That would be biased.
"You and your team are disqualified, Anak Jahad."
Anak doesn't look fussed. She would if this had real stakes, but the floor of tests is very kind and gentle, much like everything for basic regulars. "Tester-nim," she says in a voice that is too saccarine to be genuine. "May we change the rules of the game?"
This time, Bam cannot restrain his smile. Like he'd thought. He's not changed anything substantial yet. He still has everyone with him. There's still time.
There is still time.
He feels Khun's eyes on him.
"Are you okay, Bam?'
Viole loves when Khun calls his name. "I'm going to protect this," he says, starting to tremble. "I won't break my promise, Khun-ssi. I…I'm sorry. I'm putting you at risk. But I have to keep my promise and I don't want to betray anyone."
He can join FUG if he wants to sure (he doesn't know what he wants, if he can want). Still, he's not going to carry that burden, or risk Yuri not getting her weapon back. And he's not joining FUG to protect her for sure.
Khun watches him with those almost violet eyes. They're beautiful and intelligent, fitting of a master. But most importantly, they were Khun-ssi's eyes.
"Is that why you're so happy?"
"No," Bam says with no hesitation. "I'm just so happy you're here with me. Do you have a plan, Khun-ssi?"
The smirk he gets in reply is brilliant and dark and Rak huffs over their heads in satisfaction.
