Being the world's fastest hedgehog wasn't all it was chalked up to be. In fact, Sonic was not only the world's fastest hedgehog but the world's fastest-living creature in general. So, although he trained and trained for reasons we can't go into here, he got bored not having anyone to compete against.

His origin story is a bit complicated, but I'll just say this. Sonic struggles with the very fact of his existence. His arch-nemesis is a bald guy with an oversized mustache who is obsessed with technology. His best friend is a somewhat overly friendly, yellow fox with two tails, who is also, coincidentally, obsessed with technology. Don't ask me how he got two tails. It's a long story.

Anyway, Sonic likes collecting floating rings. Because, in this universe, there are floating, golden rings pretty much everywhere. Don't ask me how or why. I don't know how they got there and I don't even really know the point of them. What I do know, is that when Sonic gets hurt, his rings spill everywhere and then he has to go and pick them back up before they disappear forever. Bizarre, I know.

Other than that, Sonic is basically your average guy. He likes cracking open a beer on the weekends and watching the football game on his flat-screen TV. He's never been allowed to participate in sports himself since he would win every sport out there because of his incredible speed. But he does like to watch athletes duke it out in his spare time, which is, actually, most of the time.

Ironically, he just got fired from a job at a fast-food restaurant. He was kind of being an asshole to a customer. Here's how it went. He was running the restaurant by himself. The corrupt management had taken advantage of the fact that Sonic was the world's fastest being to basically exploit him and cut on costs. So he had to run the cash register, cook, and serve the food. It was a pretty shitty gig, not gonna lie. But it beat running in circles collecting floating rings all day.

Anyway, one day a customer with an attitude came in. This customer was very fat. And the very fat customer wanted french fries. And, somehow or another, Sonic ran out of french fries. He may or may not have been secretly eating them when no one was looking. Sonic called the fat guy out for eating fries. These were the words he used, "Sorry, buddy, but we're all out of fries! Can you believe it? Maybe if fat asses like you didn't come here and eat all of them, there would still be some left for the rest of us!"

This remark did not go down too well. Basically, the hungry customer asked to speak to the manager. To which Sonic responded that there was no manager on duty. So the customer took to Twitter. And the rest is history.

So, these days, Sonic basically just goes running in the morning and spends the rest of the day on the couch consuming various forms of media. Sometimes he gets up and makes himself a cup of tea. And sometimes he calls up his buddy Tails. But Tails is always working on an airplane or something. So he just sits there binge-watching the latest and greatest Netflix original series.