So Sonic and Tails decided to head off to Puerto Rico. Sonic didn't feel like running, so he decided to ride with Tails in the airplane. It was a pretty long ride, so Sonic and Tails had some time to catch up on things.

"How have you been, Sonic?" asked Tails.

"Hanging in there," said Sonic, "These past few years have been a whirlwind. That's for sure."

"You want to tell me about it?" asked Tails.

"What, are you my therapist now?" asked Sonic.

"No, I'm just saying… it might be good to talk to somebody about your feelings."

"I mean I guess…" said Sonic.

"So…" said Tails, "What's got you down, Sonic?"

"You know…" said Sonic, "Sometimes it's hard having so much responsibility on my shoulders. I never asked to be the world's fastest being. It's like I always end up having to save the day because of someone else's stupidity. And things really haven't been the same without Amy. I had it made, man. We were supposed to spend the rest of our lives together."

"Here we go again," said Tails, "You have to accept that she's not coming back, Sonic."

"But if they never found the body?" implored Sonic, "There's a possibility, as slim as it may be, that she's out there somewhere."

"I wouldn't get my hopes up," said Tails.

"I know…" said Sonic, a grim look on his face, "Well, anyways, Tails, how has your love life been?"

Tails' face turned bright red.

"I, uh…. Uh…" stumbled Tails.

"What, you've been watching Internet porn again, Tails?"

"Ye… Yes," stumbled Tails, "I'm such a fucking loser."

"Ha," said Sonic, "I remember when I first discovered Internet porn."

"Well…" said Tails, "Maybe we should change the subject."

"I'd say so," said Sonic, "Internet porn is really just a huge waste of time at the end of the day."

"But it's just so goddamn addicting," said Tails.

"I know!" said Sonic, "That's what's so dangerous about it."

"Can I tell you something, Sonic?" said Tails.

"Sure thing, pal," said Sonic, "That's what are friends are for, right?"

"I'm a virgin," said Tails, turning bright red once again.

"Tell me something I didn't know!" said Sonic.

"Yeah, well…" drifted off Tails, "I thought I'd confide that in you."

"I appreciate your honesty and the trust you have in me," said Sonic.

"I do think about sex a lot," said Tails.

"That's normal for someone your age," said Sonic.

"I suppose," said Tails, "But does this mean I'm going to hell?"

"What?" said Sonic, "What are you talking about, Tails?"

"Well, I guess the Bible says it's a sin to be thinking about sex, and…"

"Bah!" shouted out Sonic, "Give me a break! You're brainwashed if you believe all that crap! Since when are you so religious, anyway?"

"Well, I saw some pretty crazy shit during my university years, and…"

"Well, let me just tell you this, Tails," said Sonic, "You gotta live every day like it's your last. Because no one can say for sure if there really is an afterlife. So why miss out on the joys of life and spend all day worrying about shit like whether you're going to hell?"

"I suppose," said Tails, not quite convinced.

"Well, I'm beat," said Sonic. "I'm gonna take a nap. Wake me up when we get there."

And with that, Sonic dozed off as Tailed continued his course toward Puerto Rico.