It was a bright, sunny summer day on a small island in the beautiful Canadian District of Muskoka, Ontario, in which the local wildlife was set in its daily routine and a slightly run-down summer camp lay uninhabited.

However, we only know of this due to the crew that arrived a few weeks prior, planting cameras in every crevice around the island, from the woods, to the beach, and especially around that summer camp, which was about to host campers for the first time in a long while.

The place of interest at this time, though, are the docks, where a tall, slim and handsome black haired man in a dark-turquoise collared shirt, and cargo pants, appears right in front of the barrel of the camera, showing off his best smile.

"Yo" exclaimed the man as he monologued to the camera, in a very laid back manner. "we're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. I'm your host, Chris McLean, dropping season one of the hottest reality shows on television right now."

The scenery changes and the background music swells, as he gives the audience a tour of the island grounds.

"Here's the deal. Twenty-two campers have signed up to spend eight weeks right here at this crummy old summer camp, they'll compete in challenges against each other then have to face the judgement of their fellow campers.

Every three days, one team will either win a reward or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, (he laughs) and leave Total Drama Island for good.

Their fate will be decided here at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week all but one camper will receive one marshmallow."

As he is present at said campfire, a crummy locale, as he described previously, only having a few tree stumps for seating around said fire, a few torches about the place, and a steel barrel from which the host kept monologuing, with relevant footage being shown.

"In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune, which let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week. To survive, they'll have to battle black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food, and… each other.

Every moment will be caught on one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp. Who will crumble under the pressure?"

The host asked giddily to the audience, as he mimicked the bending of a bar, before pointing right at the cameras.

"Find out right here, right now on Total...Drama...Island!"

This, as you've probably come to expect, is the cue to the editors to start playing the intro sequence, going all over the island, showing off the campers in situations of dubious canonicity to showcase their interpersonal dynamics and personalities.

However, as you are reading plain text on a digital page, that is not what is going to happen, and I am very sorry for that.

Feel free to imagine the characters you are about to be introduced to partaking in a personalised variation of the iconic Total Drama intro, so personalised that it exists exclusively in your own mind, where everything can happen and your headcanons become reality.

There, isn't that a pleasant thought? But I feel like I hogged the page long enough.

We cut back to Chris, still on the docks, awaiting for the contestants, keeping the audience entertained as he monologues to the camera.

"Welcome back" he kept his laid back tone "to Total Drama Island. All right, it's time to meet our first 11 campers, we told them they'd all be staying at this five-star resort so, if they seemed a little T.O.-ed, that's probably why."

As he finished sharing that tidbit, the attention shifts to the first boat, which has left behind a short girl with glasses, braces, a side ponytail, a green dress shirt and pink pants, as well as her luggage-

"Beth" said the host to the new arrival "You're the first contestant to touch our shores! Anything you wish to say?"

The girl grew giddy at the notion of being there at all, and she lisped cheerfully at the host

"It's so credulous to meet you! Wow…" she then took a pause, looking at the man she had seen many times on TV before, deciding to follow her awe with an observation "You're much shorter in real life."

This took him aback, not quite sure how to take it, as there really wasn't any malice or sarcasm in her voice, so he just awkwardly played it off with a "Uh… Thanks." while the girl went past him, and to the other side of the docks, carrying her luggage.

That awkwardness would not last, however, as the next camper came off from another boat, a tall, well built black teen, with an olive green t-shirt that sported a muted red "D" on it, a white skull cap, some facial hair and shorts.

"DJ!" The host greeted the newcomer, who therefore approached him and proposed a fist bump, which was swiftly reciprocated.

"Yo! Chris McLean! How's it goin'?" DJ said, before taking a good look around him, then asking as his smile turned into a puzzled look "Hey, you sure you got the right place here? Where's the hot tub at?"

"Yo, dawg." Chris told him "This is it, Camp Wawanakwa!"

At this revelation, the teen's expression turned to one of disappointment, and while joining Beth on the other side of the docks, carrying his trolley behind him, he mumbled to himself "Hmm. Looked a lot different on the application form…"

The next boat arrived soon, from which yet another contestant came out, this time a girl with red hair in short pigtails, a little pink flower in them, a red top and green pants, with a peppy expression shining on her face.

"Zoey!" Chris greeted the newcomer "Good to have you!"

"Thanks, Chris!" She replied cheerfully "I'm really looking forward to meeting everyone!"

"Well, some have already arrived!" Said the host, pointing towards the other two contestants, which returned her positivity in kind, waving at Zoey, smiling as she joined them, shaking her hand, but then their attention was taken away by the sound of the next boat coming into port.

From it came down a tanned, skinny guy with frazzled black hair, a cyan shirt and jeans, looking around himself a little apprehensively, as he hugged his bag tightly.

"Welcome to the island, Mike!" exclaimed Chris, while waving towards the other contestants, at which point, after taking a look at them all, Mike exhaled a sigh of relief, before replying "Thanks man!"

As soon as Mike joined the others, Zoey was the first to greet him.

"Hi Mike!" She said warmly and welcomingly "I'm Zoey! How are you doing?" She then offered him a hand to shake, to which Mike hesitantly took, but after shaking it, he felt even more at ease.

"Hey, Zoey!" he replied positively, with a tinge of awkwardness "I'm doing fine, it's just… never been this far from home before… or on an island, for that matter, hehe."

"Same for me, I'm so excited to be here!" She beamed, with a smile to match, which led to Mike relaxing completely, his expression almost melting thanks to the warmth offered by her, and replying with a "Yeah… me too". In all of this, the two's hands remained locked into the other's, until they noticed and quickly detached, blushing a little in the process.

"Everybody" The camera was redirected to Chris, as he presented the next competitor "this is Dakota!"

Suddenly, music filled the airwaves, a high energy pop tune that accompanied the newly arrived teen girl in a pink outfit, blonde hair and orange sunglasses over her eyes, strutting down the dock like she's on a model's runway.

As she strikes some poses, camera flashes fill the screen, and the audience is shown that yes, there is indeed a photography crew, taking pictures of her, and with a big speaker system that is playing the music.

After her brief, but intense photoshoot, she takes off her sunglasses, revealing her green eyes, and addresses the host cheerfully "Thanks, Chris!" before taking out a signed check and handing it over to him.

"And thanks to Mister Milton" said the man "for the generous contribution to the show!"

"Thanks, daddy!" added Dakota before joining the rest, who were now all looking at her.

Someone else touches down on the docks, a girl in open shoes, shorts and a red halter top, with grey sunglasses but when she does, an ominous music sting accompanies her arrival, and the glare of the sun flashes across her shades to further accentuate the music choice.

"Heather." said Chris, with a hint of dread in his voice, despite maintaining his usual smile, almost as if the dread was meant to be instilled in the others, rather than being an expression of genuine emotion.

She then takes off her sunglasses, showing her narrowed eyes, looking the rest of the teens on the dock up and down. Beth, unperturbed, decided to approach her. "Hi!" she greeted "Looks like we're your new friends for the next eight weeks!" her lisp ensured she would spittle with every word, causing Heather to recoil in disgust at both that, and presumably the notion.

Their attention was then taken away again, as another boat approached the docks, from which punk rock music blared through a speaker, with a teen delinquent standing on top of that. He wore a black shirt with a skull on it, a green mohawk and piercings on his face, which was shooting daggers at Chris specifically, but even so, Mike was a lot more tense all of a sudden.

After the boat reached the dock, Duncan jumped down, with his luggage in tow, eyes square towards Chris, who greeted him calmly "Duncan, dude."

Duncan cracked his knuckles and said plainly "I don't like… Surprises."

"Yeah" said Chris, unbothered and a little smugly "your parole officer warned me about that, man. He also told me to give him a holler anytime and have you return to juvie"

Duncan collected himself for a moment, taking a deep breath before smiling, replying with an "Okay then." and joining the others, but not before commenting on Heather as he walked by "Meet you by the campfire, gorgeous".

"Drop dead, you skeeze." she replied snappily, before immediately turning to Chris "I'm calling my parents, you cannot make me stay here." and then walking towards her luggage, possibly in search of a phone..

A boat horn then blared, with the camera moving to show a closer view of the action, which was an athletic black teen with short hair, a dark blue jersey, sporting a big "1" on it, and a lightning bolt necklace, water skiing behind the very fast boat, having the time of his life.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Lightning!" announced Chris, as Lightning then used a rock as a makeshift ramp, flying over every contestant with great style, before leaping off the skis and landing right on the docks, flashing a confident smile.

"Good thing your bags are all packed up!" He addressed his competition, very cocky and loudly "Y'all might as well leave, 'cause that money is sha-mine!" This prompted Zoey to sigh, and Duncan to smile, cross his arms and return the provocation in kind "I can take the heat, Sparkles.".

Lightning very much did not like that, as he started to scowl back at the punk, all the while Chris remained amused by the whole affair "Ah, I smell some drama in the air!" and while he chuckled to himself and the audience, the next contestant had already arrived.

This one was a much skinnier black teen, with a green hoodie, short, curly hair, short jeans and a gap tooth.

"Welcome to camp, Leonard." said the host, as the scrawny kid started to look around himself, almost with awe.

"What's he looking at?" wondered Beth out loud, which was followed by a shrug from DJ

"This island is…" Leonard said, and as the camera panned around to show a dirty beach, the crummy summer camp and, finally, the old docks they were all at, he then finished his sentence.

"Wonderful!" He exclaimed with joy, as Chris, Duncan, Lightning and the others too looked at him a little funny.

"Uuuh… Glad you like it?" said Chris in confusion, before recomposing himself and commenting and half snickering "Though I can't help but notice, hehe… you're wearing a different outfit from your audition tape, dude."

"Oh, I did bring the wizard costume," said Leonard, absolutely unperturbed. "I just wasn't sure when I'd have to be in character." but then, he paused, gasped and started panicking a little "Wait, was I supposed to already be in character!?"

Lightning and Duncan started to laugh, very loudly, annoying Mike, DJ and Zoey, but Chris himself only chuckled a little before replying to the boy "Nah, you don't have to "be in character" for anything. Unless you feel like it, of course."

"Alright!" replied the teen in an upbeat way, as he walked to the other side of the docks, leaving behind Chris, as he winced, while the sounds of another boat reaching the docks echoed in the scene.

Just as the host recomposed himself, a young man with light brown hair, a collared turquoise t-shirt with a darker stripe in the middle, and long brown pants. His expression was laid back, but there was some visible strain, an effort in maintaining a camera-friendly look.

"Contestant number nine" announced Chris "is Topher!"

Topher then went to greet Chris, shaking his hand, maintaining the suave attitude he's been projecting "It's so good to finally be in your presence Chris! I'm a huge fan! Great work on the ice skating show, as always!"

Chris looked a lot more pleased, now that his ego had been stroked "Hey, thanks. Good on the producers to pick such an intelligent young man for this show! Your competition's that way." Topher then confidently strode across the docks.

Another boat then arrived, carrying with it a young, blonde, sporty woman in a dark grey tracksuit and an intense stare, directed squarely at her competition.

"All right!" exclaimed Chris, in an oddly upbeat fashion "People, meet Jo".

"I'll make this quick." Jo stated, firmly and commandingly "I'm not here to make friends, I've got my eyes on the prize. Make no mistake, I will get that money! So stay out of my way, if you value your kiwis." She finished her speech by pointing her finger at the direction of the crowd of people, who were mostly pretty taken aback and intimidated… except for three people in particular.

"Hah!" scoffed Heather "In your dreams. I'm not about to lose to some mannish jock wannabe." she returned the scowl with fervour.

"Yeah" added on Duncan, in a more laid back and sarcastic fashion "it's not like I'm gonna roll over and hand you the money just because you're a girl."

Lightning, who until a second ago was also scowling at the new arrival, now perked up in confusion and looked around himself. "What girl?" He punctuated with complete sincerity, which caused Jo to roll her eyes before joining the crowd, and while Heather pretended she wasn't even there, Duncan kept looking at her, smirking.

"Now that's what we like to see! Hehe" Chuckled Chris to himself as the next camper arrived on the docks. This time, it was a scruffy haired teen, with a dark green beanie, an orange life vest over a white sweater shirt.

He looked around himself, almost jittery, before facing Chris and quickly asking "You sure this small island has enough resources for twenty-something people?"

"Don't worry, Shawn." replied the host "This isn't a survival reality show, there's a mess hall for you to eat at."

Shawn then quickly took his place among the crowd, but it was almost like he was trying to fade into the background, hiding behind a literal human wall.

Chris then started looking out at the sea, checking his watch, before he started tapping his foot, waiting for the next boat to arrive, when suddenly, from slightly off camera behind him, a soft, feminine voice caught him by surprise "Greetings".

As the host jumped from the surprise, the camera then showed a pale teen with long, blonde hair, wearing a green collared sweater and purple leggings, who Chris then addressed after regaining a little more composure.

"Ah, you're already here, Dawn!" He said, before asking the question of "I thought you were gonna come with a boat, though…"

"Oh, I took a shortcut" she coyly replied before joining the other campers, as the host scratched his head in confusion and some of her peers also looked at her with curiosity, and Leonard in particular with awe, as well.

He quickly regained his smile once the next boat arrived, unloading two blonde, identical twins, save for one having a beauty mark, though their wardrobes were very different. The one with the beauty mark wore a red cheerleader outfit, consisting of knee high white boots, a short red skirt and a red top. The other wore an ocean blue, long sleeved shirt, jean shorts and white shoes.

Neither looked particularly happy to be around the other, but then their attention shifted to their new location

"Ladies! Amy, Sammy" greeted the host "welcome to your new home for eight weeks."

The camera then panned, showcasing just how crummy this summer camp was once again, accompanied by the lovely noise of buzzing flies, to which the cheerleader gave an appropriate response.

"Eugh! This is where we're staying!?" she wretched, which then caused her sister to roll her eyes at the scene, which Amy did notice, but her attention was directed at Chris, who was laughing, which caused her to snap at him "I did not sign up for this!"

"Actually, you did!" Said the host, in a cheerfully almost-mocking way, before whipping out a stack of paperwork, which Amy promptly ripped it out of his hands and then tore to ribbons, but the unfazed Chris just took out a second copy, which took her aback.

"The great thing about lawyers" he resumed the sarcastic commentary, waving the big paper stack to her face "is that they make lots of copies." Amy groaned in defeat before joining the other campers, followed by her sister, who chuckled at her annoyance.

The other boat then arrived, and a red haired teen stepped off, though you'd be hard pressed to guess he was one, due to him towering over everyone else in height and width, being built like a brickhouse. He wore farmer's overalls, had a tinge of a tan on him and had a somewhat dopey smile and bright eyes.

"Rodney! What's up, man?" greeted the host, as Rodney looked around him and at the other campers, blushing a little and probably unintentionally saying out loud "Whoa… so many girls…" which prompted a couple odd glances from said girls, as well as a chuckle from Duncan.

"Okay. Look, dude." Chris then approached him completely candidly "I know you don't get out much, been homeschooled your whole life, not used to being around girls in any way. Just don't say much and try not to get kicked off too early, okay?"

"Uuuh, I'll try?" he replied, slightly confused by his concerns as he joined the others, all while Dawn in particular looked at him in thought.

Another boat, another camper, this time a scrawny teen with brown hair that covered his forehead, a polo t-shirt over a longer shirt, long pants and shoes that look a tad too big for his frame.

"Cody. The Codester. The Codemeister!" Greeted Chris, as he and Cody exchanged fist bumps and finger guns, after which the kid started to stride down the docks in a way that was meant to come off as suave and charming accompanied by a jazzy tune, as he replied "Dude, psyched to be here, man."

Mid-stride, he looked at the others and commented "I see the ladies have already arrived. All right!" as the flashed his best, gap-toothed smile and pointed a finger gun at said ladies in an attempt to keep up that would-be suave attitude, walking past Zoey, Amy, Sammy and then finally Dawn, before doubling back, opening his mouth to say something, but then being interrupted by the paler teen.

"It's best if you don't." She replied in an amicable, amused tone, to which Cody kept his smile as he went on his way again.

The next teen to set foot on the docks, was a chubby girl with a pink tracksuit and brown hair in a ponytail, who looked a little nervous to be there while still trying to keep a smile on her face.

"Glad you could make it, Staci." The host welcomed her, as she made her way across the docks, looked at the other campers, searching for someone to stand next to, and eventually landing on Beth.

As she approached her, the girl with braces greeted her in a friendly way "Hi there! I'm Beth!" which prompted Staci to relax a little and greet her back, with a candid smile and a thick German accent "Hallo! Good to meet ja!"

The attention then shifted to another chubby teen that just arrived on the docks, who had blonde hair, a white shirt with a blue maple leaf on them, and green shorts, though his disposition was very much the opposite of Staci's, as he loudly and excitedly greeted the host.

"Woohoo! Chris! What's happenin'?!" He laughed a little in excitement before resuming "This is awesome! Woohoo!"

"Owen! Welcome!" replied the host, trying to match his excitement, before Owen one-upped him once more by bear-hugging the host as he kept up the jolly, hyper energy and said "Awesome to be here, man! Yeah! Man, this is just so…"

"Awesome?" Zoey finished the sentence for him, smiling along the way, enraptured by his positivity, which then continued as he resumed speaking "Yes! Awesome! Whoooo!"

"You about finished?" asked the host, by now slightly tired of having the big guy shouting in his face, with said big guy letting him go and replying with "Sorry, dude. I'm just so psyched!" as he then approached the others, some being annoyed by his presence, but most of them couldn't stay annoyed for long.

As the next boat approached, it was rather hard not to notice the camper standing on it, as her height was towering over everyone else, and her looking at her competition down below made some feel intimidated, regardless of the fact she was smiling in a generally pleasant manner.

The tall, black girl, donned a beige hat, vest jacket and shorts, and as she touched down on the island, some of the intimidation faded, but she still towered above everyone else, especially Chris, who temporarily lost his smile, only to regain it as he greeted the new camper.

"And here's Jasmine!" He announced, as Jasmine herself addressed him and everyone else, speaking with an Australian accent "Hey there, mates! Good to be here!" She then took a closer look at the campgrounds, especially the cabins, before adding with a hint of concern "You sure there's enough… space for me?"

"Tch. No kidding." sarcastically jabbed Heather, before Chris then answered, shrugging "We'll figure something out." The now not-reassured Jasmine then joined the others, with some people still having their eyes on her, namely Zoey, Lightning, Sammy, DJ and Rodney, he was blushing especially hard.

When Jasmine got next to Amy and Sammy, Sammy looked up at her, blushing, and quietly blurted out "W-wow. You're tall…", to which the Australian teen did look down, only for Sammy's gaze to be somewhere else completely, but her face still noticeably red, so Jasmine just chuckled light-heartedly while Amy looked at her sister, a little confused.

As the next boat passed, many of the other girls got the chance to blush, since it carried a well built Hawaiian teenager with a caramel brown tan, black hair, a dark green shirt, long, slightly torn jeans and sandals.

Aside from a very fit body, which thanks to the seafoam that sometimes landed on his skin, almost seemed to glisten in the light of the sun, he had a bright smile and very deep blue eyes.

Heavenly, almost seductive music played as the boat rode the ocean waves, with the camera panning over to the campers, most of the girls looking at him with awe, Sammy nearly fainting as she leaned onto Amy, who was not among them. However, Owen seemed especially ecstatic about his arrival, with the second place among the guys being taken by Topher, who raised his eyebrows and whistled at the sight.

"This is Justin." said the host, exchanging a fist bump with the now docked teen "Welcome to Total Drama Island."

"Thanks, Chris. This is great." told Justin, in a very mellow, calming and warm voice.

"Just so you know, we picked you based entirely on your looks." Chris felt the need to clarify that, possibly probing at him, to which the guy replied "I can deal with that."

As he walked down the dock to join the others, Owen approached him, excited and giddy and said "I like your pants!"

"Thanks, man." replied Justin with the same warm tones, then Owen kept talking, awkwardly giggling halfway through "'Cause they look like they're all… Worn out. Did you buy them like that?"

"Uh no, just had them for a while." the handsome teen answered plainly as he walked by him, then Owen slapped his forehead and chastised himself "Stupid!" which prompted a response from Topher, who witnessed the whole thing "Yeah, you gotta work on your flirting, Big O." and the response came off really sincere from him, though it did cause Owen to recoil a little in embarrassment "Wh-what? No no, it's… it's not like that!".

Before that conversation could continue, the final boat arrived at the island, carrying a girl with black hair, a purple pearl necklace, a cream sleeveless shirt with a purple stripe at the waist and black leggings. She was looking straight at the docks from the bow of the ship, a bit in thought, but mostly her expression was calm and focused.

"The final contestant, people!" announced Chris "Here's Sky!"

As Sky was preparing herself to come down, the boat stopped a little too roughly, which led Sky to fall off, but much to the surprise of everyone, she quickly collected herself and performed a series of flips in mid air before landing on her feet, her face now radiating a healthy confidence, which was amplified when she caught her luggage before it fell into the water.

"Nice moves, girl!" said Lightning flirtatiously, pointing a finger gun at her, to which she replied candidly, but firmly "Thanks, but save the flirting for after the game." and judging by Lightning's face, that statement went in one ear and out the other.

"Alright people!" announced Chris "Now that we're all here, we need a group photo for the promos. Everyone at the end of the dock!"

After a jump cut, everyone was in position for a group shot in front of the "Camp Wawanakwa" sign, as Chris was standing on a boat, camera on a tripod, having… technical problems.

"Okay! One, two, three. Oops. Okay, forgot the lens cap!" said the host as he removed it, then he reprised "Okay! One! Tw–"...before another hiccup stopped the procedures Ooh. Jasmine, half your face is out of frame, would you mind bending your knees or something?" to which the tall girl just sighed before doing just that.

"Got it." said Chris as he prepared to take the shot "Okay, everyone say "Wawanakwa!""

Every camper then said that as they smiled for the shot, but then at just that time, their combined weight caused the rickety old docks to collapse underneath them, leading to them all falling in the water… which Chris also snapped a picture of with a chuckle.

The host punctuated their predicament, right before a fade transition "Okay guys. Dry off and meet at the campfire pit in ten!"

We then cut to the campers, gathered around the campfire pit, they all were looking at Chris, some more attentively than others, as he went over some things while the camera showed the campers as they listened.

"This… is camp Wawanakwa, your home for the next eight weeks. The campers sitting around you will be your cabin mates, your competition, and maybe even your friends. Ya dig?" As Chris took a brief pause, the camera focused on Duncan and Mike, with Mike smiling awkwardly at him, Duncan turning around and giving him the stink eye, to which he reacted by raising his arms until the punk looked away.

"The camper who manages to stay on Total Drama Island the longest without getting voted off will win $100,000!" Chris finished the speech, with many more campers suddenly paying more attention at the mention of money, though some questions arose from the crowd.

"Excuse me, but what will the sleeping arrangements be?" asked Shawn.

Heather then asked a followup question after throwing a glance of disgust in Duncan's direction "They're not co-ed, are they?" but Chris quickly put her fears to rest "No. Girls get one side of each cabin and dudes, get the other."

"Excuse me, Chris? Is there a cabin by the lake I could move into?" asked Dakota, but the host shut down her request with a "That's not how it's gonna work. You'll have to share a cabin like everyone else". She was not happy about this, as she crossed her arms and pouted.

"This cannot be happening…" Amy sighed, before Owen came by and tried to cheer her up, pulling her and Justin in a bear hug as he exclaimed "Aww, c'mon guys! It'll be fun! It's like a big sleepover!", with the other teen looking at the cheerleader and telling her "At least you don't have to sleep next to him." as he pointed somewhere off screen.

The camera then showed Duncan, having a deer in a hold giving it a noogie as a sample of a punk riff accompanied the action, before quickly cutting back to Amy and Justin looking at each other, though Justin was a little puzzled by her lack of reaction at his presence.

No time to hold that thought, though, as Chris started to speak again "Here's the deal. We're gonna split you into two teams. If I call your name out, go stand over there." He pointed at a vaguely defined part of land on his right, before starting the name call "Zoey. Mike. Heather. Cody. Staci. Beth. Shawn. Topher. Jo. Justin. And… Duncan."

"From this moment on, you are officially known as…" the host announced as he threw a rolled-up green banner in their direction, to which the camera cut to said banner un-rolling, showcasing an emblem depicting a shouting gopher, with the name being revealed to be "The Screaming Gophers!" as Chris finished the sentence.

"Killer name, man! You just never miss!" Topher complimented the host, to which he chuckled "Great choice of words, Topher! Because the rest of you" Chris pointed to the area on his left as he started to call out more names "Amy. Sammy. DJ. Lightning. Dawn. Jasmine. Sky. Rodney. Leonard. Dakota. And… Owen! Move, move, move, move!"

They all did, with Chris then throwing a red rolled up banner instead, which Lightning caught, as the host announced the team name "You guys will officially be known as…" the banner unrolled, showing an emblem depicting an angry fish "The Killer Bass!"

"Sha-what!?" said Lightning, disappointed "You sure you don't wanna change it? To like, something cooler? Team Lightning anyone?" Many of his teammates then rolled their eyes at his show of modesty, which Chris promptly ignored, as he kept expositing about the show, with a dramatic backing track accompanying him.

"All right, campers." he continued "You and your team will be on camera in all public areas during this competition."

The camera feed then went static, before coming back from the interior of a dirty outhouse, where Chris was sitting down on the toilet, not because he was using it though.

"You will also be able to share your innermost thoughts on tape with video diaries anytime you want." He continued "Let the audience at home know what you're really thinking. Or just get something off your chest."

The camera feed went static again, though at this rate it should be apparent that it's just the transition for the confessional, and now Zoey was in it and said "Um… Okay. So far, I'm psyched!"

Another transition, another camper, this time it was Jasmine, who commented with "Guess I'll just go in the woods if I wanna do my business…"

Transition, now Owen was in it, standing up, looking more serious than he ever has been so far, as he calmly announced "Hey, everyone. Check this out. I have something very important to say." before farting and giggling, completing the punchline, as the camera went back to the campfire pit.

"All right. Any questions?" asked Chris, to which nobody replied, mostly shrugging, so the host continued "Cool. Let's find your cabins."

We cut to a wide shot, showcasing two large cabins in the middle of the woods, with the host walking into frame and presenting them, presumably to the off-screen campers "Gophers, you're in the east cabins. Bass, you're in the west."

We take the perspective of the girl side of the Gophers, who opened the doors to their shared sleeping space, revealing bunk beds, a window with some torn up tents, a big rug on the floor, a big drawer and a big heater.

"Bunk beds? Isn't this a little… Summer camp?" said Heather sarcastically, before Jo bumped into her on the way in and replied snidely "That's the idea, genius."

"Ugh. Shut up, jockette." Heather fired back, but Jo was too preoccupied claiming a bed to care.

"There's no need to be hostile, we're teammates!" said Zoey, who was also settling in "We should at least try and get along."

"You're so kind. An inspiration, really." Said Cody, who very much should not be there, which Zoey noticed and told him "Uhm, Cody? You're on the wrong side of the cabin..." to which Cody smiled and chuckled awkwardly, before Jo came by, lifted him up with one arm from behind, and said with a wolfish grin, him now looking surprised at this turn of events. "I guess you got lost, huh? Well, allow me to show you out, stringbean!".

After finishing that sentence, we cut to Cody, screaming as he was flying out of the cabin just before Staci could enter, landing face-first into the grass, which was now in his mouth, and then Jo came to the entrance, laughing heartily at the sight.

We then shift perspective to the boy's side of the Gophers' cabin, Cody now there, going back with his tail between his legs, before Justin came out and asked the host a pressing question. "Hey, uh… where are the outlets? I have to plug in my hair drier. Gotta maintain my looks, you know?"

"There are some in the communal bathrooms just across the way." replied the host, to which Justin replied in shock "Communal bathrooms!? How am I meant to get some privacy!?" but the host replied bluntly "As much as I feel your pain, that's something you're gonna have to deal with, dude." and Justin, defeated, re-entered the cabin with a groan.

On the boys' side of the Bass cabin, Rodney just arrived and commented in relief "Whew, I'm glad we're in our own cabin with just guys…" to which Lightning, who was already there, and DJ, who also just arrived, looked at him a little funny, with the jock commenting "Uuh, yeah. It's cool, dude! Lightning don't judge."

Rodney stammered a little as he tried to clarify "N-no, I like girls, a lot, it's just… I don't really know how to talk to them…" to which DJ put a hand on his shoulder and tried to comfort him "Don't need to stress over it much. They're just people, like us." and then Lightning undercut it immediately "You just gotta watch and learn, big guy! Lightning's gonna bag one fo' himself!" He then flexed, leaving DJ facepalming and Rodney confused.

Perspective then shifted to the girls' side, with Amy on the porch, while Sammy entered and settled in, and she asked the host "Excuse me, Chris? Is there a chaperone of any kind?" to which the host answered plainly "You're all sixteen years old. As old as a counsellor in training at a regular summer camp. So, other than myself, you'll be unsupervised. You got a half an hour to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge. Starting… Now!"

As if on cue, a scream came from the inside of the girls' cabin, Dakota being the culprit, with Jasmine, who also just arrived, commenting "What's she screaming about?" She and Amy then looked inside, seeing that there was a cockroach crawling about, which caused Amy to also scream and get away.

Jasmine wasn't that phased about it, but when Dakota threw a shoe its way, the roach started to fly and landed on the tall teen's leg, to which she reacted in disgust "Ugh! Get it off me!" as she shook her leg to try and do it herself, she accidentally kicked the wall and left a hole in it, then she whipped her leg around, almost hitting Sammy, but actually managing to fling the roach out the door.

In the way, however, came Dawn, who gently caught the roach mid air despite it flying like a bullet, gave it a couple pets and commented "There's no need for this much violence against this little critter!" then she carried it away from the cabin and let it scurry away all by itself… before it was sniped by a frog's tongue, coming from a nearby pond, much to her surprise.

"Well" commented Sammy, who came out to see the ordeal "That's one way to kill a roach." and Sky, who also came out, added "At least the frog ate well…" which did reassure Dawn a little.

Speaking of eating, we jump cut to later in the day, at the mess hall, which was also a big cabin with long tables and stumps for them all to sit at, though right now they were standing up, listening to a huge black man in a chef's clothes as he loudly and angrily told everyone how it would roll.

"Listen up!" shouted the man, gruffly "I serve it three times a day, and you will eat it three times a day! Grab your tray, get your food, and sit your butts down now!" They all immediately got in line, but those at the front of it decided to ask a couple questions to him.

"Excuse me." asked Beth, as Chef was filling her tray "Will we be getting all the major food groups?" The man completely ignored her and she just left after a bit, but then Lightning added more fuel to the fire "Yeah, 'cause Lightning needs his protein. I gotta be at top form to sha-win!"

"You'll get a whole lotta Sha-ut the hell UP!" Chef stuck his head from across the counter to reach Lightning and shouted in his face, frightening the teen and causing him to flee with the trey, which caused Mike to comment "Yeesh, harsh." to the nearby Cody, but Chef heard him and shouted at him too "What was that?! Come closer, pencilneck! I didn't hear you…".

The intimidated, now almost panicking, teen then tried to diffuse the situation "Uh, I-I, uhm d-didn't really say anything… important…" The man was still looking at him, still scowling, but not as aggressively, as he firmly stated "I'm sure you didn't." before scooping food into his tray.

As Mike left the scene with food in tow, Cody was about to leave, but then the huge man called out to him "You! Scrawny kid number two. Gimme your plate." as he then took a scoop of goop-like meat and dropped it into his trey with a loud splat before he scampered off too.

As the line went on, it was almost the turn of Rodney, who commented "Man, that guy's scarier than 'pa when he couldn't find his secret magazines…" Then behind him, at almost half his height, was Dawn, who added "Oh my, doesn't sound like a pretty sight." to which he turned around with a giggle "Heh heh, yeah, Tim hid them as a-", as soon as his eyes made contact with hers, however, he turned away with a blush.

Dawn, slightly taken aback by his fluster, tried to reassure him "There is no need to feel this nervous around women, Rodney. We're all children of Mother Nature, equal in her loving embrace." but the farm boy only replied in stammers "I-I, uh… Sorry, I… Nature… Mags, uh… Lunch!" his turn had come, Chef dumping a lot of food in his tray, which was his cue to run off, much to her dismay.

After a jump cut, where everyone was sitting and eating their slop, Chris came through the door and said "I see you're getting comfortable in the main lodge! Did you give 'em a warm welcome, Chef?" to which the man shared a wolfish grin… but it quickly evaporated as Topher approached Chris.

"Hey, man!" he said "I know you're going for a "crummy summer camp" vibe here, but can't we replace the, uh… "authentic cuisine" with, say, pizzas?" To which Chef responded by chucking a knife his way, which sliced off the tip of his hair before lodging into the wall.

The teen was now panicking, trying to diffuse things "Ah! I-it's cool, it's cool! This j-just… makes it all the more real, right guys?" to which people around him wore their best fake smiles and shared their jolliest awkward laughs.

"Indeed it does," commented Chris, before turning to the door and walking away. However, he did not stop before announcing, "Your first challenge begins… In one hour!" He lifted up his index finger to punctuate the announcement before we cut to a couple of campers.

"What do you think they'll make us do?" Sammy wondered, but DJ tried reassuring her, "It's our first challenge. How hard can it be?"

As if the universe wanted to prove him wrong, we later cut to the campers, in their swimwear, standing on top of the tallest cliff on the island, cutting to wider and wider shots, as the dramatic stings piled on, until all that was visible, was a panoramic shot of the island, the campers so small amidst the scope of it, they were all but gone.

The sole reminder of their existence, at that moment, was the final comment from DJ, before the show faded to black for the end of part one of this two-parter "...Oh, $h!7"

_

Man, describing every character was such a slog! It's almost as if Total Drama was meant to be watched instead of read, go figure.
Now that that's over with, things can actually start happening in the ways of character interactions and plot development, the fun stuff people would actually read this for.
Anyway, thanks for reading, catch you in part 2.