Disclaimer: Oh come on! Do we really need to do this? Still? What? We do? Ok then, Victorious belongs to Dan, I only own the DVDs, meh.

Author Notes: Boy, am I on a role with these little Jori anecdotes, this one came to me after seeing Bart Simpson saying his first word, which was "Ay Caramba!" You are either gonna laugh when you read bellow or going to think WTF.

Gotta admit, This one is one of my favourites, mostly because Jade acts like the "father" of the family, not liking one bit that her little girl is dating, heh.


Every day is a constant fight between a parent and a child to get him or her to behave, no matter the age, some fights last for hours, other lasts minutes but in the West household every toddler that had made it here gave a never ending struggle for the two married women.

And today was no different.

"Here comes the choo-choo Train" Tori said tiredly to her boy "Choo-choo!"

Seconds later Jade joined her wife by making train noises to coax their two year old son into eating his baby food, a task that seemed nearly impossible since kept his mouth shut.

"Come on Anthony!" Tori whined "You gotta eat something! Don't you wanna grow up to be big and strong like your grampa David? The big police officer?"

The toddler still kept his mouth shut.

"It's good even mom likes it!"

"Yeah even...wait a minute why does mom have to like it?" Jade asked.

"Just follow my lead" Tori said exasperately "Yum!"

The Half-Latina then placed the spoon near her wife's mouth, Jade opened wide and was going to pretend to eat the baby food, that is until Tori actually shoved the food down her throat and Jade was forced to swallow it.

Needless to say, the food tasted horrible, still, the pale woman pretended to like it "Yum it's... cough cough... Good!"

Danielle had to cover her mouth, laughing at the scene before her would get her grounded and she didn't want that, she had a date with Rachel this coming Friday after all, and she wasn't about to re-schedule it.

Still, the toddler wouldn't budge.

"We're going to need a better tactic here" Jade commented afterwards "And we are definitely getting Anthony some better tasting food because this tastes like..."

"JADE!"

"What? I was gonna to say that it tastes like feet"

"Somehow I really doubt that"

"Mind if I try?" Danielle decided to ask, the last thing she wanted to hear was her parents arguing.

"Be my guess" The Thespian said after she took a big chug of her drink, wanting to get the terrible taste of her son's food out her mouth "Your mama and I have tried just about everything we can think off to get him to eat, I swear he is even more of a picky eater than me!"

"Here sweetie" Tori gave her eldest daughter the baby food and a new spoon "Maybe you'll have better luck than us"

"I babysit him a lot while you and mom want to be alone mama, I think I can manage"

"Let's hope you can"

"Come on baby brother" She cooed soothingly "The Martian rocket ship wants to land safely on the home base, you want the Martians to go home don't you?"

The toddler nodded enthusiastically while making happy noises.

"Then all you gotta do is open your mouth little man"

Anthony opened his mouth and Danielle placed the spoon in it "Good boy!"

Tori teased "Show off"

"Your grounded" Jade said afterwards, not realizing the irony behind her words.

"Not my fault Anthony preffers it when I play 'food Martian' with him"

"Food Martian?" Tori asks.

"Oh, that's how Tawny and I call it when Anthony's hungry" Danielle explained "We figured it would be a subtler aproach to get him to enjoy his food rather than making him eat it"

"And you didn't tell us this sooner because...?"

She shrugged "We thought you and mom were doing fine feeding him"

"Where's you sister anyways?" Jade asked out of the blue "She was suppose to be here for dinner an hour or so ago"

"Oh she called me and said she was having a smoothy with Lukas"

At the mention of the name of her youngest daugther's boyfriend Jade's eyes narrowed dangerously "Again? I swear that she's always with that boy"

"That's what happens when they're dating mom" The teenager said as she gave her brother another spoonful of his meal, the annoyance at her mother's overprotective nature was undoubtedly present in her voice.

"Don't get smart with me Danielle" Jade snapped "Well all know what happens when you date a teenage boy"

Tori rolled her eyes "Oy, not this again"

"What you got against Lukas mom?" Danielle asked "You used to like him"

"That was before the little punk started dating my daughter!" She snapped "I swear, the minute he steps out of line I'm gonna…."

"You are not going to do anything!" Tori interrupted in annoyance "You know Lukas is not going to do anything bad to Tawny! I mean for God's sake Jade, he's Cat and Robbie's son! He's literally her best friend! So you got to stop being so protective of Tawny, she's old enough to date whoever she wants"

"Why couldn't she date someone with a vagina?" She grouched "Men tend to think with their dicks!"

"Vagina!" Anthony exclaimed.

All women in the living room looked at the baby in shock, he innocently stared back at his parents and sister from his high chair.

Tori glared at her wife "Are you happy?! His first word and it's not mama!"

"Uhhh"

Suddenly the front door opened "I'm home!" Came Tawny's voice "Boy do I have the greatest news ever!"

As soon as the other teenage entered the kitchen she could sense the uncomfortable silence, she stared at her parents, then at her sister.

"What's going on?"

"Vagina!" Anthony exclaimed yet again, this time pointing at his pale mother.

"Ok, he did not learn that from me" Said Tawny.

Tori's glared intensified on her wife.

Jade gulped "I am so sleeping on the couch for this"


Jade is not going to get any for a while, that's for sure, heh.

Curious fact: Lucas is the name they gave Daffy Duck in the Latin American version of the Warner brothers cartoon, the name was chosen because it sounds a bit similar to the word "loco" which in English would translate to crazy, I chose to name Cat and Robbie's son this because it alludes to Cat's somewhat less than normal mental behaviour, Robbie being the underdog, and you gotta admit these are some traits they share with Daffy to a degree .

The fact that Daffy is my favourite looney toon probably influenced my decision.

anyways, your thoughts?

was it good or bad?

Invader Johnny Signing Off.