I do not own one piece oda does and I also don't own tes v Skyrim or Hellsing

you know what I'm just gonna start saying I don't own any one or anything in this story.

toyoi no kami cannon works by Luffy spinning himself around to build up momentum for a gum gum bazooka. I decided that Luffy won't really use the words gum gum in gear fifth because well it isn't ya know a gum gum but instead it's a nika nika and he knows that now.


ON THE TEN THOUSAND SUNNY p.s it's a ship!

(Ocean noises) Hey Nami? Hmmm what's up Luffy my dear? I was wondering how high do you think my bounty's gonna get for scaring off the admirals? (Huf) I don't know Luffy (sigh) I wish it wouldn't get us more attention. Yeah shi shi shi but then we get to fight stronger people and that's awesome! (Bonk) Damn it Luffy no it's not! Yes it isssssss you girls just can't appreciate it like us boys! HOW THE HELL COULD SOMEONE LIKE RISKING THEIR NECK JUST TO FIGHT RANDOM PEOPLE! Because it's an adventure Nami! (SIGH) I'm never gonna stop you from being crazy am I. [NOPE] shi shi shi shi shi shi shi! (Sigh) tell me why I'm marrying you again? I don't know you never really told me. Wha what oh I uhhh guess I didn't did I(blush) well Luffy it's it's because you are sweet and kind and loving Luffy you you are awesome and caring and soooo strong plus you're reeeeeealy good in bed and admittedly you're an idiot but you've done so much for me and (sniffle) Luffy I I don't want to even think where I'd be without you! Awwww Nami I'd don't need to be thanked for that stuff I'd do that for any of my friends! I know but I'm still gonna tonight. Shi shi shi ok sure thing Tsu Tsu. Tsu Tsu? Yeah like tsunami because you're names Nami, I thought it was cute. Heh heh w well uh it uhhh it is I really like it honey. I'm Glad haha well I'm gonna go see what Usopp's doing. Alright don't forget to come to your room tonight! I definitely won't do that!

HEY USOPP WHAT ARE YA DOIN! (BOOM) Well I was trying to make some more phoenix stars but alas I have been turned into a Smokey smelling mess, thanks a lot Luffy. Shi shi shi shi shi sorry Usopp heh heh. Yeah yeah go mess with Zoro or something yeah? (Yeesh I said sorry)

OI ZORO! Huh(yawn) I'm trying to sleep here Luffy what is it? Just wanted to see how you were doing that's all shi shi shi! Oh well I'm doing fine now leave me alone. Hmmmm ok.

OI FRANKY! Oh hey captain I was just making a SUUUUPERRRR laser cannon, with that Vega Punk laser riffle Usopp gave me. Oh REALLY A LASER CANNON!Awesooooooome! Well see ya later Franky! Have a good day Luffy!

Hey Robin what cha doing? Oh I'm rereading a book called the,adventures of the dragon born.Oh really what's it about? Well let's see, it's about a man who is almost executed by a group called the imperials. But escapes because of a dragon attack! And then he goes and talks to a jarl named Balgruf the greater, Balgruf's house mage then sends the dragon born on a quest for a dragon stone in bleak falls barrow. He succeeds in this task returning to the city of Whiterun, he then goes on to fight a dragon when a curious thing happens the dragon born takes the dragons soul upon its death and kills it permanently. After which a group of several old men the grey beards, shout out for the dragon born! Our hero goes up to ask what it is they want from him. They answer his question and train him in the way of the "thu'um". Whilst he travels he gets a letter from a woman named Delphine they go and kill another dragon, the man absorbs it's soul and she understands him as the dragon born. He gets a request from her to get a friend from a village of thieves. He frees the man as requested by his new friend Delphine. The three plot to gather info on whom it is that is trying to bring back the scourge of the dragons, so the dragon born infiltrates an emissary's party and finds no collusion to the dragons. They then go on several adventures including conquering a castle, becoming friends with and capturing a dragon. Then he goes into the afterlife and defeats the top dragon Alduin! Afterwards he went on adventures such as stopping a vampire lord from blotting out the sun and enslaving the world, stopping a previous dragon born from inflicting evil upon the world and even fighting a war to reclaim the country from the imperials gaining revenge for his idiotic attempted execution! (Did that ninety percent from memory) uhhhh wait so what happened after he talked to Earl Ball Graph? *sigh* he fought a bunch of people, dragons and vampires. Oh ok cool. I'm glad you like it too. Shi shi shi see ya later. Ok Luffy.

HEY GUYS THERE'S A COFFIN IN THE WATER! AHHHHHHH A C C C COFFIN! OHHH LET'S GET IT OUT AND SEE THE COOL DEAD GUY! Oh there might just might be T T T T T T T T T TREASURE! Hmmm well seeing how he died, via an autopsy could help us understand any danger that might be up ahead. Yeah what Robin said. WELL I'VE GOT DON'T MESS WITH THE DEAD-ITITIS! Yoinky shploinky up it goes. *crack rattle rattle* *BAM* hmmm where am i? Oh hello my name is Alucard I serve the Van Hellsing organization. do you know where I am at the moment? You're on my ship the ten thousand sunny at the moment, I just pulled your coffin out the water. Hey how'd you end up there anyway? Oh well I'm a vampire. A A A A A VAMPIRE!? Yea the strongest one in the world. So mister Alucard do you eat people? Hmmm why yes I do miss sexy bookworm do you want me to eat you later? No. M master where are you? Oh police girl say hi to our new friends. Oh h hi. Hmmm the hell are you? What me I I'm a reindeer. Hmmmm tasty. Hey no one gets to eat Chopper but me! Humpf fine, aaaaaanywaaaayyyssss I wonder how I got here? Don know but what I do know is that you're weird. Well aren't you just a cheeky dick waffle. Do you want to join my crew? What. My crew I run a pyrate crew, and I want you to join! Well I don't think I'll get back to sir Integra any time soon sooooo shit why not could be fun(looks at girls) lots of fun ehehehhahahahahaha! No. Damn I never been turned down so fast! Yes we have no intention of sleeping with you. Ow. Ok. I'm just gonna get Mr. Strawhat to give me tour of the ship. Fine. Ok Mrrrrrrrr. Luffy Monkey D Luffy and I'm gonna be the king of the pyrates! Ok then Mr. Monkey D Luffy take me on a tour. Alright you're gonna love it!

so this is the kitchen. Neet can't really use that cause I'm a vampire but still cool.

and this is the weight room. hmmmm those are some, B I G big ass weights are you sure you guys are human?

and this is the shower. Hmmmm i love a hot shower with hot women hahahahahaha! Man you're even worse than Sanji!

that's my room. Cool~

that's the crew's quarters. So i guess I'll stay in a coffin here?

this is the aquarium. Awwwww look at all the fishies!

this is the bar. ALCOHOL!

this is Zoro's room. Ok then?

this is the hospital. Welp won't need that (BLOOD IDENTIFIED)

this is the engine room. What does does it run on soda?! Yup! I'm not even gonna ask how that works.

and this is the crows nest. Oooooo look an island~ neet! Yup that's our destination!

dis da bathroom. Ok I don't need that. WHAT SERIOUSLY!

and finally this is the deck. Yup already been here.

hmmmm interesting thank you mister~ Monkey~. no problem Alucard remember you're part of the crew now so don't hesitate to ask for anything.

I'll keep that in mind.

Oiiiii Zoro, Sabo, Robin! Hmmmm what's the matter Luffy? Who's that? Ohhhh Mr. Monkey that's police girl my uhhh heir i guess or something like that she was kind of an accident. Oh well if what Vivi said is right I've had accidents like that too. Oh Mr. Monkey you're dirtier than you seem hahahahahahah! Ok whatever.


Lemon time!

Yohohohohoho

hey Luffy! Hmmm oh hey Nami. ohhhhhhh you want to do it tonight right? Yeah give us both a night to remember. (Uno fleur) Sure shi shi shi shi shi! Oh Luffy. What Nami? Nojiko said she didn't want to play as much as me so just use your hands on her ok. Ok got it! Thanks Luffy I'm just a little worn out heh heh.(i also don't want to get knocked up like my stupid lil sister, yeesh) so Nami how are we doing this? However you want Luffy! Alright rawrrrr! Ahhhh! *clap clap clap clap clap* *huf huf huf* L Luffy you sure are tenacious to tonight! Hmmm ten ta culios? Uhg tenacious it means you're really pumped up idiot. Oh damn right i am! May i ask why my love? Oh not much i just realized how pretty you are. Awwwww that so sweet of you, you gonna fill me up tonight? Yeah i love doing that! Haha I'd thought you'd say that. Haha good captain good hehe! Ah ah ah ahhhh that's it just like that my love ahhhh ohhh yes uhhh! Are you ready for it Nami? Yes yes do it do it now! Three. Oh good god Luffy! Two! Ahhhhh aghhh yesssss yessss please! Two! What what are you *huff* doing!? You can't go until i let you Tsu-Tsu. Nooooo come on pleaseeeeee! Two! Ahhh ahhh i I can't keep this up oh god! TWO! Ah ah ah ah ah come onnnn pleaseeeeeee! ONE! AHHHHHHH YESSS OH LUFFY YOU DUMB RUBBER BASTARD YES YES YES THAT'S AMAZING OHHH OHHHHH uhhhh *huff huff huff huff huff*. Hey Luffy don't worry about me i already got myself off to that show! *sigh* Alright let's go to bed. Goodnight Nami, goodnight Nojiko. Goodnight Luffy honey!.

pant pant pant* why why did i do that? *huff huff*. Ummm Robin could you get out of the shower i want to take one too ya know? Oh uh S Seras! I'm I'm sorry, h how long were you there?! Long enough don't worry I won't tell anyone. I'll just be a minute! Ok then.


AT AMAZON LILY! p.s it's got only women.

Alright guys I'm gonna work somethings out with the pyrate empress sooooo use this time to train and get too know each other! Yes luffy. GUUUUUUUM GUUUUUUUUUUM ROOOOOCKET!

AHHHHHHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *crash* hmmmm where am i now oh hey Hancock! (Gasp) did did you see it!? Ohhhh the bran- DOESN'T MATTER YOU MUST DIE FOR SEEING ME LIKE THIS LOVE LOVE MELLOW! ahhh ohhh how scary. Huh how how are you not turned on?! I only do that sex stuff because my fiancés ask me too. Uhhhh love love mellow. Nope not working. Damn i uhhhh you bastard! I'm not gonna tell. You...what? Why don't all you men just want to hurt us and use us? Nope. Uhhh Humpf sisters let's take him down! Please like you could even. AHHHHHHHH DIE MAN! No weave dip duck dodge. AHHH! Dip duck dodge and weave dip duck and weave. Ahahahahahahahaha missed meeeee! DAMMIT! Noooooope ahahahahah! Oh no if that one hit me i may have gotten a boo boo! Ahahahahaha! WHY WON'T YOU DIE AHHHHH! Shi shi shi shi shi you can't get meeeeeee! WHY YOU LITTLE! Hahahahahahaha! WHYYYYYYYY! Haha! You done yet? Damm we we've been humiliated. Yup you got clowned on. Shit ple please don't hurt my sisters please. Why would i do that i just wanted to ask if i could use Ruskaina to train my crew? That that's it, you you're not gonna use us or harm us in any way? Nope just wanted permission to use that island that's all. Oh w well then ok? Ok bye! GUUUUUM GUUUUUM ROCKET! Huh well that was interesting? I guess uhhhh so we're safe? Seems so uhhh ok let's just go back to usual.


At the Sunny p.s it's a boat!

Oh hey Luffy how were nagotions? Well Sabo we can use the island! Ok good so now comes part two of the plan. Yup shi shi shi shi shi!

Ok guys we got something to discuss. Hmmm what Luffy honey? you all need too train for quite a while for the new world. Ok and? Well some of us might have too go with Mr. Kuma on the right, or stay with me for their training and we need to find out who. Soooooo how long will some of us be gone Luffy? Two years. WHAT! I know this is hard but we have to do it, it's not a matter of how strong i am but you guys trust me i can handle the new world and everything in it; But you guys just can't and I can't always be there to protect you. Oh i i see. Soooooo, Zoro, Usopp, Brook, Alucard, Seras, Nojiko, Sanji, and johnny, Yosaku, Sabo will stay everyone else will be elsewhere. What Luffy i I don't want to leave you! It'll be ok Nami. NO DAMMIT I'M NO- *beweem* Luffy please tell him t- *beweem* *sigh* man that was awful. LUFFY WHAT THE HELL! Nojiko I'm sorry but she had to leave. Fine but van i at least go with her? Oh uhhhh sure just take this notebook. Bye Luffy*beweem* any one else? Nah we're good.

Well we have to get too training guys! Yes Luffy,man this is gonna hurt.

Three months later

LUFFY LOOK AT THE NEWS PAPER! Hmmm wha- (Portgas D Ace to be executed at Marineford) HOW!? I I don't know let's get to Impelldown NOW! RIGHT ALRIGHT GUYS YOU GO WITH SABO TO WHERE EVER WHITEBEARDS AT AND I'LL GO TO IMPELLDOWN! Ok you got it captain! GUUUUUUUM GUUUUUUM ROCKET! Hancock! you again what is it L Luffy!? I need your help shi shi shi shi shi! What really L Luffy? Yup shi shi shi shi shi! okayyyyy! But how my love? Oh i need to get to impelldown to save my brother. Okayyyyy!

At impelldown! p.s it's gonna get broke into and out of!

Ohhhh hey Buggy! Huh you!? Let's go I'll let you go if you help meeeee. Fine. Ok so we should free everyone here to cause a distraction! Right flashy thinking Strawhat! *clank* who who do we have to thank for our freedom? I MONKEY D LUFFY THE MAN WHO WILL BE KING OF THE PIRATES! Alright let's hear it for Luffy! Luffy luffy luffy luffy luffy! KING KING KING KING KING! Ahahahahahah I'll come back for guys in a minute! See ya!

BON CHAN! Luffy wh what are you doing here? I'm here to save my brother! Alright then let's go TOGETHER IN FRIENDSHIP! Yeaaaah! OH hey look it's mister three! Oh my we should save him! Ok hey stand back *BLAM* h how'd you do that!? Haki. Wha ohhhh never mind let's go!

crash* ahhh someones coming through the roof! Hiiii Iva!*slam* Oh hey Luffy long time no see! Were gonna bust out my brother let's go! Right!

ACEEEEEEEEEE! Captain! Oh hey Jimbei! Ace isn't here he's a- oh don't worry i sent they guys over to help,so let's get going! Oh hey it's the poi-. Strawhat, how dare you get into and try too escape my pri- GUM GUM PISTOL! Ahhhhh! Alright let's go guys! Did did he just. Defeat Megelen in one blow yes he did Inazuma. So last time when he defeated Dragon? Nope wasn't a dream, this kid is insane! Ok let's steal that ship! Yarrrrr!


No intro no time!

ACEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Huh? LUFFY! HEY GARP IT'S YOUR DAMN FAMILY AGAIN! LUFFY NOOOOOOO! Welp we're screwed WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Garp please tell me honestly do we stand a chance? Nope not even close WAHAHAHAHAHA! Dear god. WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! EVERYONE! What fleat admiral Sengoku!? RUUUUUUUUUUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVES! WHAAAAAAAAT!?(Dum dut da da dum dut da da dum dut da da)GEAR FIFTH! TOYOI NO KAMI FALLING BATTLE AXE! Welp we're fucked! We're just fucked! *BOOM* GYAAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH WAHAHAHAH NAWAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAH!

GURARARARARARARA! Ace was right this brat is stronger than me! GURARARARARARARARARARA! Pops that that was really something, reminds me of us in our prime*snifle*. Yeah yeah it does.

TOYOI NO KAMI WHIP!(AHHHHHHH)! TOYOI NO KAMI INAZUMA!(AHHHHHHH)!TOYOI NO KAMI GATLING GUN!(gods help us)! Hi Ace! H hey Luffy man am i glad to see you! Boom sha ka laka da shakles! Hmmm? *BOOM BOOM BOOM* whoa i forgot you could do that! Ok let's go home! Oh look my crew! ACEEEEEE! Oh hey Sabo! Oh you already? Yup! Dammit i wanted to fight them! Sorry Sabo. Ok guys lets get back to Ruskaina! Aye! Oh hey giant gramps! GURARARARARA! What you cheeky brat? You wana come party with us? Huh sure why not.


At Ruskaina! p.s it's in the calm belt!

YOHOHOHO YOHOHOHO YOHOHOHO YOHOHOHO!

Hey Ace? Yeah Luffy? How did you get captured this time? Oh that well they got me in a trade with Kaido. Ohhhhh that makes sense you know it only took me like four days to escape that quarry right. WHAAAAAAT ONLY FOUR DAYS HOW!? Well i just learnd ryuo duh. wha? You know the thing i TRIED too teach you. Ohhhhhhhhhhh imma dumbass aren't i. [YUP] dammit i shoulda joined you and Sabo. Still can. Well i i don't know pops has been really good to me i i just can't. Ok. So you don't care? Well I'd like you to join but if you don't want to i can't force you Ace buuuuuut there is a no weaklings allowed rule so i don'tthink you'd get in anyways. HUH I SO CAN TOO GET IN! I don't knooooow you did kinda get kidnapped by Kaido and i beat him when i was like what nineteen. Ouch. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HEY THAT'S A LOW BLOW LUFFY! Ha kiddnaped like a kid ha. Ow I'm gonna go get more booze with Zoro see ya, jackass of the pyrates! Huuuuuuh? YOU LITTLE BRAT! Ahhhhhhhhhh!