Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious it belongs to Dan, no cash is made out of this work of fiction since it's simply written for entertainment purposes only so uh yeah, DONT SUE! Kay?

Once again, here is some mothers/son bonding experience, I'm sure having a lot of fun writing Jade and Tori having their own misadventures with their only son.


Jade headed into the dining room and sat down on a free chair next to her wife.

"Hey babe"

Tori quietly sets the table, but not before giving Jade a peck of the cheek "Hey yourself"

"What's all this?"

"Oh, it's Saturday night, you know what that means."

"We get to screw each other's brains out on the kitchen floor?" The Thespian asked exitedly.

Tori nodded, smiling teasingly "But not before playing strip poker"

"Couldn't we just skip to the naked part?" Jade asked seductively as she wiggled her eyebrows "That way you get to play with my girls a lot sooner."

"Oh? And what about you?"

"Your magic fingers are my reward, Tor"

The Half-Latina pretended to think, rubbing a finger on her chin, "Tempting, very tempting"

"Did I mention I'm not wearing anything under my clothes?"

Tori jumped from her chair, hungrily kissing her spouse, an action which Jade returned with equal, if not more enthusiasm as they both dropped to the kitchen floor.

Suddenly they heard the back door open, so they had to quickly move away from each other's arms as they pretended to look at anywhere but themselves in search of something.

"Tori, I found your glasses!" Jade bellowed out, holding the item, she unceremoniously took from the brunette in a desperate attempt to conceal what they were about to do.

"Oh, thank you baby" Her spouse says gratefully "I been looking for those"

Anthony looked at his parents from the kitchen entrance, carrying a few large bags with him.

"I'm going to pretend that I actually believe that's what you two were doing." The teenager spoke cautiously as he dropped everything in him arms onto the kitchen table. "Answer me this, the table's clean, right?"

Both women nodded meekly at their son.

"Good, then I don't need to spray it before starting to work."

"Work?" Tori asked curiously "But today's Saturday, shouldn't you be having your weekly date with Emily?"

"Good question" Tony says dryly "Don't you two have a bedroom where no one will enter and see you naked, in turn giving some everlasting and scarring mental images?"

Jade and Tori blushed furiously.

"I thought so" Anthony said, crossing his arms "But to answer your question mama, our final exam is next week, so we decided to skip our date so we could focus on our dishes we are going to present to our teachers"

"Wow, way to go," Jade said, rolling her eyes. "I'm all for your hard work son, but couldn't you do your cooking at your girlfriend's house"

"What?! Are you crazy mom?!" He gasped in horror. "And give her an insight into my cooking strategy, ultimately giving her clues as to what I'm going to serve! No way! She's never going to let me live it down if she gets a better grade than me and I'm not about to lose to her again!"

"Take it easy Tony" Tori says gently "It's only a grade."

"It's not just a grade mama! He shot back "Whoever impresses the judges gets a scholarship to one of the best cooking schools in France! And they only have three spots open! Do you know how awesome it would be for me to study on the other side of the globe!"

The Half-Latina frowned at that "Wow... That's... Great."

Lucky for her, Anthony was so engrossed in his materials, that he didn't register his mama's unenthusiastic response.

But Jade did.

"So, when's the final exam?" The former Goth inquired. "And what are you going to cook"

"Next Friday" He answered "It's going to be kind of like a sale sort of thing, see my teacher wants everyone to put together a menu as if it was a real restaurant, so I have to go through a million different recipes and figure out what's good and what's not. I'm probably going to be here in the kitchen all weekend if I have to."

"Isn't that a little... Extreme?" Tori asked "I mean, what's the worse that could happen if you don't start tonight... I mean, you still have the rest of the week"

"That's exactly why I'm staring tonight mama!" He shot back, "A week isn't enough time to come up with an original menu! I really want that scholarship! I mean, I know you guys can pay for it since we have the money but you always taught me to work for what I want and I sure want to earn my trip to France!"

Jade smirked proudly "That's my boy, but just so you know, in the event that you don't get that scholarship, your mama and I will still send you there, right Tor?"

"Yeah... Sure" The tanned woman muttered.

"Ok Tony, you can start cooking, your mama and I will leave you alone for the night:

"Hold on, wait a second," he said. "Have you two had dinner yet?"

"Huh? No." Tori answered.

"Well good, then you're gonna help me sample these new recipes so I can see if they're any good,"

"You want our help?"

"Well part of being a chef is to have an outside second opinion." The teen said "I can't cook everything and expect it to be awesome, my own judgment won't be enough to win the scholarship, so I need you to tell me the truth in every one of my meals, can I count on you guys to be brutally honest on what I serve you?"

Jade laughed. "Brutally honest is my specialty."

"Good... What about you mama?"

"Yeah... Sure" Tori quietly repeated "What will you cook first?"

"Um, let's see…I think I'll start with some soylent green, then three types of salads, this new soup I want to try out, a few chicken dishes, some baby back ribs, then a recepie called fish ala Kind, some steak and to finish it all of with something called Vega Pot Pie," Anthony replied.

Tori froze "Vega Pot Pie?"

She hadn't had that dish in years, mostly because the only person aside from her late grandmother who knew how to make it was her mother.

"Holly." She hissed angrily,

Jade who had never tasted her wife's old family recipe was curious "Where did you get that recipe?"

"For the Vega Pot Pie?" Tony asked "Grandma did, she heard about the scholarship thing and she gave me the recepe on how to make it, she thinks it could help out, and she may be right."

"Who told her?" Tori questioned.

Her son shrugs "I did"

"Why?"

"Come on mama, just because you're angry with her, it doesn't mean I have to be."

"Plus, right now it isn't the time or place to go on full rant mode on your mother" Jade said, trying to stay calm, like her wife, she wasn't a fan of Holly Vega, but they had another priority at hand, mainly to help their only son getting into the school he wanted.

"Fine" Tori relented "But this isn't over, I'm going to have a talk with that woman"

"That woman is your mom, mama." Tony reminded her sadly "Shouldn't it be time for you to forgive and forget?"

"Not by a long shot" Tori growled.

"So um your teacher is seriously making you put together this whole menu by yourself?" Jade asked in an attempt to remove some of the tension in the kitchen while Tony began going through the bags he had brought up with his for ingredients. "That's a lot of cooking for one person."

"I know," He said. "But according to her, a good chef has to work under a time limit and not lose my sanity under the stress"

"Who is teaching you to cook by the way?" Jade inquired "I don't think you ever told us her name"

"She says she knows you mom"

"She does?"

"Yeah, she knows both of you" Tony spoke "Her name is Sam Puckett"

Jade and Tori gasped in surprise "Sam?!"

"Yeah, she's been my teacher for the past two years"

"And you're just telling us now?!" Jade snapped "Why?"

"Because I know you two" He says with eye roll "Each time I happen to look up to someone who isn't you guys, you get jealous and end up embarrassing me"

"That's not true" His parents denied quickly.

"Oh really?" He challenged "When I wanted to ask uncle Gibby to teach me how to shave, mama you ended up trying to teach me and what happens? The bathroom became a war zone! Thank God only mom saw me, if Emily had walked in I never would have live it down!"

Tori blushed furiously while Jade chuckled.

"And you're not too far behind mom" Tony pointed out "My teachers at school are terrified that if they cross a line with me, you'll come to haunt them in their dreams!"

Both women bashfully stared at their son "Umm... we do that because we love you?"

Okay… I don't doubt that, but couldn't you guys show it in a way that doesn't make our family look... insane?"

"Trust me Tony." Jade said gently "You're a West... Normal is not part of our family legacy."

"I can dream now can I?" The teenager shot back teasingly as he began preparing the salad "Now, these salads look pretty easy. We've got a simple Ceaser, a blue cheese wedge one and an almond vinaigrette…"

So for the rest of the evening, Jade and Tori tasted their son's cooking.

"Oh God, I feel like I gained twenty pounds" The former Goth groaned, rubbing her stomach.

"You're going to do just fine on your test next week" Tori praised him.

"Be honest with me?" Tony requested "Just because you're my parents I don't want you to sugar coat anything by telling me everything you ate was good... So... Tell me the truth, did ANYTHING suck?"

"Umm.. actually" The tanned woman began to say.

"Yeah mama?"

"I think the soylent green was a bit spicy."

"Damn, I knew I shouldn't have put so much tabasco sauce"

"So, maybe you should try again" Tori suggested "But not today since I feel like I'm ready to explode"

"Thanks for helping out"

"That's what we're here for" Jade said. "Because we love you and we're so proud of you."

Tony showed his gratitude by hugging both his parents, they of course hugged back.

"Why did he had to grow up so fast" Tori sniffed. "Father time is a huge ass!"


Well watcha think? The West family legacy is clear, normal is not in their dictionary, heh heh.

Plus, there is a rule about every parent, embarrassing their kids is a must do.

I couldn't resist adding Sam as Tony's cooking mentor, I didn't want to create an OC, so I thought, who better to teach cooking than everyone's favorite blonde headed disposal? LOL.

As for Tori, she still has to come to terms with the fact that her son, her last kid is about to spread his wings into the world, she'll eventually accept it, don't you guys worry about that but I'm having fun writting for Tori in this regard since it varies when a parent has to see their children leave the nest.

So as always, reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.

Invader Johnny Signing Off.