TW: Sexual assault.

When she sees Santana pull up, it takes everything in her to not just run to the car, jump in, and hug Santana. Brittany gets up slowly, walks at what she deems to be a normal person's pace, and climbs into the car. As Santana watches Brittany walk towards her, she swallows thickly. God, that girl is beautiful, she thinks to herself. She looks down at her own choice of clothes, and, although she thinks she'll never be as beautiful as Brittany, she hopes Brittany will think she looks pretty too.

Brittany does. She thinks Santana looks absolutely amazing in her tight jeans (she's going to have to ask how she can wear pants that tight without showing anything), loose tank top, and wedge sandals.

"Hey Britt. You look really pretty. I like your top."

"You look beautiful. And thank you!" Brittany responds with a big smile. She notices that Santana looks nervous, and she feels bad. While she knows this conversation is probably a big deal for Santana, other than general curiosity, she knows that whatever Santana says will have little to no bearing on the way the girl makes her feel. But she's not really sure how to communicate that to her.

Santana nervously wonders if everything is still as it was last night, if it's still okay for her to hold Brittany's hand, because it'd be nice to have something to ground her right now. This isn't something she talks about in detail a lot. Her friends and family know, and Quinn knows everything because she's her best friend, but mostly, she keeps her penis and the fact that it exists to herself.

Brittany looks down and notices that Santana's hand is lying invitingly in the palm up position, just slightly more than halfway between the two of them, so she threads their fingers together and senses some of the tension leak out of Santana. She's glad she can help ease Santana's nerves and also thinks that their hands look good together, pale and tan. The contrast is beautiful.

"I was going to bring stuff for a picnic, but I don't know what kinds of food you like...so until I do, I thought maybe we could do late lunch/early dinner after the park if you still want to be around me." That was a slip. Santana had meant to say "if you still have time to hang out" or something less self-deprecating, but she's honestly terrified that Brittany will walk away. God, she so desperately hopes she won't. Even though she's only known the blonde for two weeks and the thought is slightly melodramatic, she doesn't think she can go without this hand in hers.

The uncertainty in her voice breaks Brittany's heart a little bit. "We'll definitely have to eat after the park. Maybe we can go to that Mediterranean place you were talking about?" she says excitedly and definitively. Desperately wanting to reassure the brunette, she hopes that Santana understands there's no way she won't want to go to dinner with her afterwards.

As soon as they get to the park and get out of the car, Brittany grabs Santana's hand again, not letting her deliberate about it or doubt herself again. They start walking to an unoccupied area with a view of the lake and, to Brittany's surprise and great pleasure, the ducks. Once they reach a nice spot, they sit down next to each other, and Santana pulls Brittany's hand into her lap to play with her fingers. "So...we might as well get this started. Do you have questions?"

Brittany has tons of questions; she wants to know what Santana's favorite flavor of Gatorade is, if she goes running, if she likes to swim, what her favorite movie is…but she knows that's not what Santana meant. "You said last night you were born with a penis…?"

"Yep. When I was born, they thought I was a boy, but after the initial 'all newborn babies look the exact same' stage, my dad always thought I looked really feminine. I'm not really sure how a baby can look feminine, but my dad was skeptical. Then, when I started to understand the difference between girls and boys as a toddler, I'd tell my parents I was a girl. I felt like a girl. I've always felt like a girl. So my dad had some tests run. He's a doctor. And they found out I was intersex. I had a fully formed penis and testicles, but also what they thought were malformed ovaries and an abundance of estrogen. So my parents took me to counseling, and they said that if I was telling them I was a girl, then that might be how my gender was going to manifest itself as I got older, and that until puberty hit, we'd have to play it by ear. My parents had named me Santino, so the shift wasn't that hard. Santana. They switched me to a different kindergarten, so I could start there as a girl, and that was kind of it. I grew my hair out, and I was a girl. Nobody really knew what would happen when I hit puberty. I guess it went as well for me as it could have. I grew boobs, my hips filled out a little, and I looked more like a woman. And that was that."

"Your parents sound great."

"I guess so. Part of me feels like they just went with the practical decision. My mami said she always knew I was a girl, even when she was only a few months pregnant. She just had a feeling. But they've both said that they wish I was normal...which hurts, because most days, I feel normal. Still, there are definitely days when it's harder and I wish I was a normal girl. When I told them I was gay, my Dad said that he shouldn't have expected anything else...which, again, hurt. Having a penis shouldn't affect my sexual preference. I have three older bothers, and they're all amazing. My dad used to pressure me about having surgery to get my penis removed. I didn't want to. I don't hate it, and surgery scared me. Then, one night, he got drunk and said he wasn't sure why I didn't just do what I needed to do to be normal. My brother got really upset with him and threw him out of the house until he sobered up. He apologized in the end."

"I'm sorry, San. That's…I'm glad you have great brothers." She doesn't know what else to say. That's a lot for a little kid to go through—having to switch their gender, having to decide whether or not to get surgery that would alter their body forever. "I think you're really brave."

"I'm not brave. I didn't ever have a choice in the matter, really. It's just something I've always lived with."

Brittany's next question feels awkward. She isn't sure how to phrase it, but she's really curious. "Does it...uh…does it work? It's okay if it doesn't! Or, I just…you don't have to answer that."

Santana's face splits into a huge smile as a giggle escapes her lips. "Yeah, it definitely does."

"Do you masturbate?" That flies out of her mouth before Brittany can stop it. She really does need to think before she talks sometimes. She doesn't regret it, though; the look on Santana's face is priceless. She laughs a little.

"Wow. Uh. Yeah. Do you?"

Now it's Brittany's turn to blush, not because she does—that would be normal—but because she doesn't. Sex hasn't really been a particularly enjoyable thing to her. There are other activities she'd rather do than have sex with herself...like dance or read or most things, really. "Um...no, not really."

Santana's face displays a little of the shock she feels at hearing that answer.

"How do you hide it in those jeans? They look amazing on you, and I certainly can't tell."

"Yeah. While I'm not exactly unhappy that I have it, I do try to hide it. People don't really take kindly to the idea of a girl with a penis. I have these crazy compression shorts. They're super, super tight kind of thick spandex."

Brittany nods, realizing that she could have come to the conclusion of special underwear on her own. "Do you pee standing up?" They both giggle.

"When I'm at home or at a place where it's like a single bathroom. But if there are stalls, I just sit down, because otherwise, people would get suspicious."

That makes sense to Brittany, so she nods. She wonders if it's okay to ask the next question, but Santana has been really open, and she's not asking anything that she wouldn't answer herself. "Are you a virgin?" Santana shifts uncomfortably. "You don't have to answer. It honestly doesn't matter; I was just curious."

"No, it's okay. I guess I'm not. I was a cheerleader in high school, and our coach required me to tell everyone on the team about my 'little friend,' as she called it. Not because she wanted to be mean, I don't think, but because she didn't want anyone to give me shit or cause any big problems if they found out. Telling them wasn't that terrible. For the most part, they kind of just didn't want to talk about it. But some of the older girls treated me a little differently. Sometimes, they'd make comments, but I was a good cheerleader, so they never tried to chase me off the team. Plus, they knew if I left, Quinn would too, and they didn't think that Coach would just let them run off two of her best new recruits."

Brittany is slightly surprised that Santana had also been a cheerleader. She thinks those special underwear must be amazing if they can hide any size penis in a tight, short cheerleading skirt.

"Anyways, there was this girl on the squad, Tessa, and I had a crush on her. Quinn always warned me about her, because honestly, Tessa was a huge bitch...but I had that stupid little crush on her. The other girls caught wind of it eventually. Then, one night, I guess a few of the older girls were having a sleepover, and they dared Tessa to sleep with me. Tessa was a rising senior and desperately wanted to be co-captain. It was her last year to do it, and turning down a dare from the current team captain certainly wasn't going to help her, so she accepted. She started flirting with me, and one day, she asked me if I was ever going to ask her out on a date. This was the summer a few days before my junior year. Quinn was so against the idea of it, and she got so mad at me when I did ask Tessa, who accepted. We went out to the movies and to a restaurant, and then she asked me to come back to her house because her parents weren't home. I was so stupid...looking back, it was really obvious she wasn't actually into me...but I liked her and was stupid, so I went. We went up to her room and...yeah. I could tell she was into it, physically at least. But I had no idea what I was doing. She didn't even really take her clothes off. After she was done, she said I should probably go and to not tell anybody that she liked it. The next day, the older cheerleaders all knew what had happened and teased me for getting played by Tessa, who kind of looked sorry but never said it. First kiss and virginity all in the same night. I was sad about it, but I'm over it now."

Brittany thinks that Santana seems to still be a little sad about it, which is okay. She's still sad about her first time too.

"What about you? Are you a virgin?" Santana asks hesitantly, like she's not sure if she can.

"No." Brittany wonders how much detail she should go into, but Santana's been nothing but honest, so she keeps going. "I've only had one boyfriend. His name was Tommy. We started dating my sophomore year, and not long after, he convinced me that everyone was already having sex, and that if we didn't, he'd break up with me. I knew my parents would be mad at me, and my older sister who had set us up would be mad at me. They really liked Tommy. Plus, I was young and stupid, and Tommy didn't really take kindly to being told no. So one night at a party he made me go to, we went upstairs. He was drunk. He wasn't a virgin...he'd had sex with a girl a few weeks before we started dating. He kind of just pulled his pants down, slipped a condom on, and pushed me down on the bed. He pulled my pants down and my shirt and bra up, but not off. I guess he was in a hurry? Then, he kind of just went at it. It hurt really badly, and I'm glad the condom was lubricated, because it would've been a lot worse. He held my arms above my head and just went really hard and really fast. I cried. After he finished, he just pulled his pants back up and went back downstairs. I think I left after that, but I don't really remember." Brittany says all of this with as little emotion as possible. She doesn't want Santana to think she's damaged goods (although she thinks she might be), and she doesn't want Santana to feel sorry for her.

Santana looks at Brittany with a mixture of shock and horror; she's pretty sure what happened to Brittany was technically rape. Her thoughts are all jumbled. She doesn't know what to say or think. She doesn't understand how someone like sweet, amazing Brittany could have been with someone like that. She wants to know how long they were together and if this boy did any other terrible things to her. She wants to know where he is so she can kill him. "I—God, Britt, I am so sorry." Santana holds her hand tightly. "I would have never, ever…I mean, I won't ever. If we progress to that point, Britt, I need you to know that I'll wait until you're ready. I will never, ever force you to do something you don't want to do."

Brittany feels tears welling in her eyes, but she refuses to cry. She clutches Santana's hand tighter while squeezing her eyes shut, grateful for Santana's sympathy. When she told her mom she'd had sex and didn't like it, her mother said that she'd probably learn to. When she told her sister that he'd been too rough, her sister simply said that some girls like it rough. "I don't know what I want, San, but I do know that in this moment, I want to be near you."

Knowing that she needs a hug after hearing that story, Santana is positive that Brittany also needs one after telling it. She gets on her knees and pulls Brittany into a tight hug, trying to surround Brittany with as much of herself as possible, needing to protect her right now. For her part, Brittany sinks into the much-needed hug like all she wants is to be a part of Santana. They stay like that, motionless, for a few minutes.

Then, Brittany sniffs back the few tears that managed to escape, and Santana pulls back to wipe under the blonde's eyes. She leans in and, ever so gently, kisses Brittany on the lips. Brittany smiles and sighs, enjoying the lingering feeling of Santana's lips on hers. Once Santana sits back down, Brittany lays down with her head on Santana's lap, looking up the brunette. For the next hour or so, they talk about much more positive things.

"What do you wear to bed?" Brittany asks.

"My footie PJs." Santana makes a silly face at Brittany, who laughs. "Kidding. Tank top and boxers. You? Probably really long, flowy nightgowns with those stupid night caps, huh?"

"Mhm, just like Little House on the Prairie." Santana snorts. "No, same as you, silly. Tank top and shorts." Brittany laughs as she answers. Then, she closes her eyes and smiles, because Santana is playing with her hair and it feels so good.

Santana's breath catches at the sight of Brittany looking so peaceful and beautiful; she's so happy that she helped bring about that look on her face. "Favorite flavor popsicle?"

"Grape. Which is like everyone else's least favorite flavor, so it works out for me. I bet yours is cherry."

Santana nods even though Brittany's eyes are closed. "It is. How'd you know?"

"That's what flavor your Chapstick is, so I just guessed."

It sends a tingle down Santana's spine to know that Brittany can taste her Chapstick on her. She leans down and kisses Brittany a little harder this time, then sits back up and licks her lips. "Pineapple?"

"Yes! Good guess. I have so many Chapstick flavors, like seriously, a million. I don't think I have any grape, though." They both giggle. Then, Santana's stomach growls, which makes her blush slightly but laugh harder all the same. "Hungry, San? We should go get dinner, if you still want to."

At this point, Santana's pretty sure she would do anything that involves still being around Brittany. "Mediterranean?"

Brittany nods, then puckers her lips once more, and Santana leans down to kiss her innocently. When she sits back up, Brittany stands up with seriously alarming speed and manages to pull Santana up with her. Laughing at the stunned look on the Latina's face, Brittany entwines their fingers once again, and they head towards the car.