Even the ice box failed to soothe him, which meant he was royally screwed. Xingqiu wasn't in any place to comfort him. He wasn't in any place to comfort Xingqiu, and yet he kissed him back. Why did he do that? Was he even in control at that moment, or had he lost it the moment he remembered that bruise? Behind him, his friend didn't seem to notice the extent of his panic.
Nervous amusement lined the edges of his voice, and the nerves only grew, "'Yun? Are you okay?"
"I don't know," he told the truth. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe this entire thing was a mistake.
"Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry, you're right I shouldn't have-"
"No, it's my fault. My yang energy, I lost control."
"Wait, does that mean…did you not want to?"
"Yes? No? I don't know," he pulled his head out of the ice box, and he felt the frost tumble over his bangs. It slid across his forehead like sleet across glass. He couldn't really discern Xingqiu's expression.
"I-there's no point in hiding it I guess. I guess it was a moment of weakness for both of us? I don't mean to tell you how you feel, it's just maybe you're right. It's too soon. I'm really broken right now, and my feelings are worse than usual. You're going through a lot…but even so I know I like you. Like…that. Sorry, I'm supposed to be the one who's good with words." He could feel the pressure to respond, but his mind was running too fast and too slow all at once. Like sprinting on an empty stomach he felt his capacities slipping away.
"I don't know how I feel. Maybe it wasn't real?"
"It's okay, you don't have to feel the same. I get it I just hope-"
"No! No! That's not what I meant," he couldn't stand to see this look on his face, "I'm just worried. I- shit."
"I don't understand."
"I know, I know I don't make any sense," he wiped the melted ice from his forehead,
"...I can give you some space-"
"No! It makes sense to me. It-it makes sense to me now," Xingqiu retreated further beneath his blanket, listening but not quite meeting his eyes, "my yang energy. It feels a lot like…happiness? I guess? I know I've explained this to you before, but I could feel it rising. I'm worried, what if I confused that for…"
"For liking me?"
"Yes! How-how do you know you like me?"
"I don't know! I do!" He shook his head, "Look, you don't have to worry about me. If you need time to make sense of this, then I can wait."
"Okay, remember when you pranked me at Wanmin and I jumped up on the table?"
"'Yu–Chongyun, I'm serious. You don't have to pressure yourself."
"No, listen to me. Do you remember?"
Xingqiu sighed, defeated, "yes."
"I got really excited about exorcism, and-and I just went and started ranting to people. And then I sang with Xinyan for some reason. I don't remember how I broke all those tables, but then I remember feeling really embarrassed."
"Yeah. That was pretty funny."
"That was yang energy. It lowered my inhibitions."
"Yes?"
"But it didn't change the fact. It didn't change my feelings. I-I always feel that way."
"Yeah, that's why it's funny. You never act that way because you're always so guarded, you're always afraid of making mistakes. Why do you think I prank you so much?"
"You don't do it just to get a rise out of me?" He laughed,
"Well, yes. I do it for that reason, but it also makes you express yourself. I never get to see you like that. It's selfish I know, I just like seeing you excited."
"That's it! I don't like seeing you sad!"
"That's-good?"
"You like seeing me excited, that's one way you know you like me. I was so upset to see you sad, that it felt like I had to comfort you. But normally I would have held back. Yang energy doesn't change my feelings, it just changes how I respond to them. I-I do like you."
"You don't have to say that just to-"
"I wouldn't lie to you!" Xingqiu's eyes widened as Chongyun held his shoulders, "I don't have the energy to spend time with people I don't like, A'qiu. I certainly don't have the energy to string people along."
"..."
"I don't entirely know what being in love is like. It scares me, just like not being able to exorcize demons scares me. But I know that I don't want you to leave right now, because I was worried about you the entire time you were missing. I don't want you to be alone in an empty house. I like it when you play jokes on me, because then you're happy. I get excited when you show up after a long day of working and you finally get to rest. I like being around you, and I guess I like it so much that…I confused that for the positivity that's so potent it literally causes me to pass out sometimes. I like you, Xingqiu."
"Oh…"
"So…don't go anywhere. There are lotus flower crisps on the counter and I can't eat them all myself. You know my parents make way more than any one person can possibly eat, and I know you really like them."
"Just like that? What…do we do about that? What do we call this?"
"Eating lotus flower crisps and then sharing a bed, after kissing and sharing our feelings? You think I'm the dense one? It's called being gay."
"Okay- you know what-" he shook his head and he laughed, and it was an easy, genuine laugh. Easy enough that he knew for just a moment, he could forget the things that weighed him down. It was true that he didn't know much of Mondstadt or their archon, but he was beginning to believe in the freedom they fought for.
The pastel hues of twilight filtered through the window panes, and though the hour was early the city bustled wide awake. Years ago this may have struck him as strange; after all Mondstadt rarely woke before noon. Now he was ashamed to admit he was used to it. His body didn't complain when he stepped out of bed and immediately began his work, and while it walked the line between present and past even his mind was attentive.
He wrote his internal shopping list as he tossed the sheets over his bed, he thought about the dinner menu while he brushed his teeth, and he considered all the little errands requested of him by staff and friends alike. It was a lot, though it didn't weigh him down. Along the way there would surely be plenty of dogs to pet and people to see.
What he didn't expect to see was Ayato speaking with the Tenryou Commission General of all people. He started a pot of tea, because Kujou Sara never dropped by for idle chatter. They both looked incredibly exhausted. After all, it was four in the morning.
"An announcement of some kind may become necessary, although I'd like to confirm some of these testimonies myself."
"I understand. I'll be in touch with the Kanjou Commission as well. This phenomenon, if it is happening, likely won't apply to Inazuma alone." Kujou Sara nodded,
"Please do. You happened to be on the way." She nodded as Thoma passed with the tea, and placing his mug on the table Ayato immediately grabbed it and took a sip. He scowled and Thoma laughed as he passed him the sugar.
"Sorry," Ayato patiently smiled as he set down the other accoutrements.
"It's fine. What was she here for?"
"More ley anomalies. At least, that's what I suspect. Hilichurls are getting closer to the city and apparently it's giving Sara quite the headache."
"I see. Anything I can do?"
"You mean besides what you already do? Unfortunately I don't think so. It's too early to know if we need to take action." Thoma brought out the notepad he carried with him during commissions, and he added tapioca flour to a crowded looking and crinkled page.
"Which means if it is a problem, we'll be late with our first swing." Ayato took a longer sip of his drink, apparently savoring it while he ordered his thoughts.
"Yes," he glanced between Thoma and the growing pile of work on his desk, "but I assure you-"
"I know. Hopefully I can match your pace." He exited the estate and in his haste, bumped into the shoulder of-
"Lady Miko!" All his shields save the one from his vision rose to his defense, "T-to what do we owe the pleasure?" She grinned, a smile that surely hid something behind it.
"You needn't look so nervous, I'm simply here to extend an invitation." His mind only partially recovered. Amongst the vibrant flora and the carefully groomed sand, there didn't appear to be anything out of the ordinary. No hidden camera crew lurking at least from what he could see.
"I can take a message if you would like, but unfortunately the Yashiro Commission is quite busy-" The Guuji of the Grand Narukami Shrine only tilted her head,
"Busy? During your offseason? Tell me, have you tasked yourselves with the preparations for Weinlesefest too? That's the only upcoming festival that I've been informed of." This conversation was starting to get out of hand,
"No, Lady Miko. Of course you're aware that the Yashiro Commission handles far more than just festivals. I'm simply hoping to save a headache for-"
"And that's quite thoughtful of you, but rest assured I'm not here for them." Thoma tried his best not to look like a startled animal. "I'm sure you're aware that the Shogun has been working to get out of her own head, so to speak."
Thoma raised an eyebrow, "...yes?"
"So you're aware that she's been making more frequent public appearances, in lieu of the sakoku decree's repeal."
"Lady Miko, with all due respect I'm not sure what this has to do with me."
"Right, I'll be frank," she smiled, "I believe it would be beneficial for the both of you to meet on better terms. Tonight the Yae Publishing House is hosting a banquet celebrating my latest release; I'm extending an invitation to you."
"Oh," Thoma wiped his palms along the sides of his pants. There wasn't any way he could get out of this. Miko certainly wouldn't take no for an answer, and even so, the political opportunity was more than worth it. He imagined the Shogun understood ley lines far better than the average market customer. "What time?"
"We'll meet in front of the Publishing House at sundown. Don't be late."
"I-I guess I'll be there," he offered his best friendly face.
"Excellent."
He quickly realized he was out of his element. Was it a casual event? Was he to bring a gift? Before he could ask, he found himself standing alone.
"Well," he fiddled with his shopping list, "this ought to be interesting." He added wine to the list followed by several question marks.
