1 October 1997
With only half a book left, Dudley had nearly finished the stack of books his parents had foisted on him the previous night. He hummed, anticipating his morning workout. The weights he'd brought weren't challenging enough for him anymore, and he planned to ask Dedalus to transfigure some rocks or something into new plates. Then again, he thought, it might be better to ask Hestia, as Dedalus might not get the weight just right.
Remus wandered in again and flipped through one of the books on the shelf. Dudley had heard him spraying water and scrubbing, and presumed he'd cleaned up his own breakfast things. If he hadn't, there would be hell to pay when Petunia woke up. Of course, she'd probably lose her gourd about Dillon's new perch on the dining room chandelier. Dudley smiled. Served her right, considering her insistence on him pulling an all-night reading session, and wanting to burn down the only home he'd ever known. She said she'd saved a lot of their stuff in storage, but Dudley didn't know what that meant. He didn't care about some old baby booties. What about his videos? He'd only brought a few of his favorites, since they had limited room in the car.
Dudley jotted down another of Snape's pointless notes. "What tedious drivel," he had written in the margin of Tales for the Parfit Gentil Mage. Dudley agreed, and thought those words could apply to Snape's entire book collection.
"Dudley?" Remus asked, breaking the silence. "Listen, I think I'm going to head over to my place, get a head start on the cleanup. Do let the others know I've gone, will you?"
"Yeah, I can do that," Dudley said, and yawned. He punched his legs to try to wake up.
"On second thought, I'll just leave a note. Get some sleep, Dudley."
"Maybe after lunch. I've got plans for the morning." Dudley looked outside, to where the rain pelted down and had turned the meadow into a bog. "Hope you've got better weather at the cabin."
This was perfect. With Remus out of the way, he'd have the chance to reveal the "secret" of his werewolf-ness to Hestia and Dedalus, without him freaking out. Then, free from the fear of the Dursleys "discovering" the secret by listening to the radio, they'd just go ahead and let them listen along with them.
Not only would that make life less boring, but it might also help his parents calm down. They always had read the news in the morning and watched the news at night. In July and August, Dedalus or Hestia had brought them the tabloids and paper, but since the battle of Grimmauld Place in September, they'd been cut off from that glimmer of normalcy. It showed. They were cracking up, Dudley thought. Plotting to get the house burned down. Conspiring to burn down Snape's house.
Would his parents and Dedalus get caught for their arson, or would Snape just retaliate? Did normal people get sent to wizarding prison? Dudley wondered, queasy at the thought of Dementors.
Dudley had to calm things down before the older Dursleys lost it completely. Before they did something even more drastic.
Dedalus or Hestia? Dedalus was friendlier, and Hestia was more responsible.
Dudley threw the final book high into the air, hoping it would flap open and stick onto the curtain rod. It just bounced off the wall.
Shrugging in mild disappointment, he headed upstairs for his workout.
The weighted skipping rope clicked out a rhythm on the ancient floorboards while Dedalus snored.
Dudley wondered how he should play it. Deadliest! I just found out Remus is a werewolf. So cool! Hestia? I … I read Snape's notes, and … did you know Remus is a werewolf? Weird, right? He shook his head. It had been easier to playact when he was younger. I wrote my essay about YOU, Mr. Mason! Dudley felt a twinge of nostalgia for a simpler time, when his parents hosted dinner parties rather than baking bread no one wanted to eat and drawing up battle plans for wizards.
Mostly, Dudley didn't care about the werewolf-ness secret. Remus was a boring man and a boring monster. Werewolves were corny, with their ripped clothes and slobber, and Dudley couldn't manage to be frightened. Remus was fussy, prickly, and jumpy. Probably dabbed at his drooly fur with a pocket hankie. His obsessive secrecy stood in the way of Dudley and the Wireless, so it had to go. The only downside, Dudley reckoned, was that maybe Remus would stay at Meadowsweet Cottage for the full moons, and then there'd be howling on top of all the snoring from Dedalus and Vernon. All the more reason to get access to the Wireless.
The rope dropped to the floor with a clatter as Dudley shifted to push-ups. Sweat dropped from his face to the floor.
He wasn't supposed to lift without someone spotting. He wasn't supposed to lift without someone spotting.
He'd have to wait until someone else was awake.
Until then, it was free weights only.
And the pull-up bar, installed by Hestia.
Dudley gripped a 20-pound dumbbell with his sneakers and pulled himself up until his chin was over the bar. The rain continued to fall from a lighter sky.
Downstairs, he heard Tonks stumble into the sitting room and yelp when she saw the mess he'd made of the books. She pounded up the stairs and down the corridor.
"DUDLEY!" She scowled up at him.
"Four," he grunted, undeterred.
"You threw books all over the place. What the hell?! I can't even walk in there."
"Five."
"Get downstairs this minute and tidy up. NOW!"
"Six."
She pulled her wand out. "NOW Dudley."
"Seven."
She aimed at the bar he was holding. "I MEAN IT."
"Eight."
Tonks squinted at the bar, and Dudley slipped. The bar may as well have been coated in oil, though it left no residue on his hands.
The dumbbell he'd been using for his weighted pull-ups landed with a crash, but Dudley, who'd been expecting some weirdo nonsense, landed lightly on the floor. He shrugged, and dropped to do reverse push-ups. They didn't challenge him enough, which made it easier to talk. "Those books. I already got through. Worked all last night. I'll get to 'em. LATER."
Tonks dropped to a crouch. "I don't want to deal with your mum, Dudley. Get to the goddam books NOW."
Rest time. He flicked the timer on his watch and sat up, propping his elbows on his knees. "I'll tidy up, yeah? If you spot me on the barbell."
"I'm not here to bargain, Dudley. Get to cleaning, or… or…"
What could she even do?
"Quit practicing on me," Dudley told her. "I'm too old for it."
"Wot?"
"You spotting me, or no? I'll keep it to one set of reps."
"What do you mean practicing?"
"Mum stuff. I'm not your practice kid."
"I'm not trying to be your mother, Dudley, just trying to get you moderately civilized!"
"Same difference. Anyway, according to you lot, I'm of age already?"
"Not that anyone can tell... You act worse than a three-year-old!"
Dudley thought of jeering at her and telling her to go find somewhere to puke, but he decided not to press his luck. He moved over to his barbell bench, made by Hestia. He wished Hestia was awake right now, instead of Tonks. "You spotting me, or no?"
"I'm not going to let you get crushed to death, if that's what you're asking," she snapped.
"Cheers, thanks, mate." Her nostrils flared at his sarcasm, but she kept quiet. Instead of spotting him like a normal workout partner, she stayed in the doorway and aimed her wand at the barbell. Just as well, Dudley thought, as if she stood near him, she might sick up all over him.
Dudley strained toward the end of his set of 10, and then he nearly pushed his arms out of their sockets when the barbell suddenly lost all gravity. It didn't float like the candles did, just felt as light as a piece of paper.
"I was fine!" he said to Tonks. "I'd nearly got it, there."
"Didn't look it. Weight time's over, Dudley. I'll take the Featherweight Charm off when your work's done."
He snorted, brushing past her to head downstairs. "It's hundreds of books left, still."
"I mean when your day's work is done. Your assignment. We're not going to finish all the books in one go."
"Tell that to my mum and dad. THEY got me up all night, writing out notes."
She snorted. "Pointless. I've taken night shifts before, but you've got to plan for them. Pick up the room and then get to bed. After you shower."
He tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. "Practicing again?" He shoved a few books into an empty shelf.
"This is the year I'd have been able to take on training a new recruit. Call it substitute training."
"Rookie cop, am I?" Dudley guessed it was better than being seen as a kid.
"Hardly. Where are those notes from last night?"
Dudley had draped his notebook over the top of the sitting room door. He pointed at it with a grunt and scooped up a few more books. He hated the grimy feel of the old leather, the stink of the dust coming off the yellowed pages. He yawned again. THUMP went the books as he shoved them all to the back of their shelf. He felt rueful as he gathered them up – not out of regret for tossing them about, but that he hadn't got to hear his mother squawk about it.
As Dudley slammed the last book into place, he realized he hadn't heard Tonks mouthing off for a while. He wiped the book grime off onto his shirt and looked up. She was standing in the doorway, staring at his notebook. Her mouth was partly open, her face was pale, and she shook slightly. Trembling.
"Dudley?" she looked up and locked eyes with him. Her voice was low and dangerously quiet. "Did you say anything to Remus, before he left?"
Dudley tried to think back to his pre-dawn conversation. "Yeah, sure."
"Was he… upset by anything?"
"Yeah. Dillon spit a pellet on him."
Tonks' face twitched. He couldn't tell if it was a muscle spasm or if she was trying to shapeshift again. "Dudley. Did you say anything to him?"
"Yeah." Dudley felt tired, too tired to deal with an irritated, pregnant witch who couldn't settle on a hair color. "Like, good morning, hope the weather's nice at the cabin, blah blah." He tried to remember if there was anything else. "He said he left you a note."
"Accio note." A scrap of parchment floated in from the kitchen. Dudley couldn't read it as it flew by, but he could see it was short. Tonks read it with a tight face and then crumpled it. "DUDLEY. What did you SAY? About THIS?" She shoved the notebook under his nose, so close he couldn't focus on the letters.
Lupin – werewolf approx. 20 yrs. –
Dudley was confused and annoyed. "Nothing!" he snapped, sounding even in his own ears like a liar. "I just said have a great time at the cabin, hope I can see it someday."
Tonks cursed, repeatedly. "He's sensitive about that, Dudley, so if you made fun of him for it…"
"I didn't!" Dudley was so caught up in defending himself he nearly lost sight of his goal of listening to the Wireless freely. "Anyway, what's the big deal? It's not some amazing secret." Remus could: light fires with no fuel, make any spoken object in the house fly to him, send messages through a silvery ghost animal, teleport, and who knows what else. Oh, and he could also turn into a wolf. Wizards were confusing, and it made Dudley angry.
"It is to him! He doesn't want to be pestered about it. You lot are bad enough about magic, let alone…" she broke off and cursed again.
"Tchah! I didn't say ANYTHING! He was just acting weird, and he wanted to go work on a cabin instead of hanging around this place. I'd leave too, if I could!" I'd get away from you, he wanted to say, but didn't.
"Have your parents seen this?"
"No." This was true, although Vernon and Petunia had already known about the werewolf business.
"See that they don't. And keep your mouth shut about it."
"FINE! Can I go shower now?" Dudley would have to make sure Tonks couldn't overhear him ask Dedalus and Hestia about the wolf thing.
"May you go shower now. And, please do. You stink, Dudley."
"Not MY fault I ran out of deodorant. I'll go to the store, anytime I'm let out of this HOLE." Dudley stomped off, chafing in his sweaty workout clothes and trainers. He didn't smell that bad.
Tonks stepped aside for Dudley to go through the doorway. As he passed through, he heard her whisper behind his back "Confundus."
Dudley didn't know how long he'd been in the shower, but his fingers were pruny, and he felt tired. He dried off, wrapped himself in a towel, and went back to his bedroom. Dedalus was still asleep. Dudley didn't know why he felt so tired. It was early morning still, and his workout should have left him feeling invigorated, but he could hardly keep his eyelids open. He put on pajamas, got into his bed, and fell into a deep sleep.
