Hiccup trudged down the gloomy tunnel, his thoughts in a tangle. He had so many questions, and so many things he wanted to say besides, and he had no idea where to begin.
His mother remained close at his side, not a single word leaving her lips.
The tunnel split off into a junction, and Hiccup stopped. He could barely see by that time, the only light coming from back in Valka's cave-space. He couldn't have walked much further without Toothless to guide him, even had he wanted to keep going.
And so, Hiccup turned to face her — his missing mother, who he himself had found, because she'd refused to come and find him. She stood stock-still, her face a near-featureless shadow in the dark.
"I want answers," Hiccup said.
He felt himself swallow. He felt himself blink repeatedly.
"I want to know why you just…stayed away," Hiccup said. He paced quickly from side to side, his prosthetic tapping against the rock. "Why you just…left us. Left all of us. Left my dad. Left me."
Valka sighed, her staff pointing limply towards the ground. "Yes. Of course you do," she said softly.
Hiccup glared at her as she went to lean against some rock, the fire in his chest battling the water behind his eyes.
"All this time," Valka said, "I thought you'd take after him. When all the while, you took after—"
"No," Hiccup said, pointing with an accusing finger. "No! I did not take after you!"
Valka startled and gasped in the gloom, her words dying on her lips.
"I fought. Just as Dad and the others fought." He shook his head. "You ran away."
Valka sighed again, and Hiccup saw her rub at her eyes.
"Yes. I suppose I did," she said.
She lapsed into silence, and Hiccup found himself glaring with a near dragon-like ferocity. Again, she was saying nothing! Again, she wasn't explaining herself at all!
"I did that a lot, you know," Valka said suddenly. "Running away. I never was one for fighting. I never was good at being a viking. I don't think I was ever a viking; not really."
Then she went quiet once again.
"You hid," Hiccup accused. "You didn't even try to come back! You just hid in this…in this sanctuary, while your village — your home — burned!"
Her head turned towards him for just a moment, then she looked to the ground.
"Berk was not my home, son," she said. "Not for a long time."
Hiccup blinked some more, half-expecting her to at least say something after that. She was doing it again, he realized: talking round in circles, offering nothing but half-explanations, giving answers which left even more questions than before.
And Hiccup, in that moment, could no longer take it.
"Oh, for the love of…would it kill you to give a straight answer?" He closed the distance between them, making Valka shrink further into the shadows. "Nothing you say makes sense! Nothing! You say I'd have been better off without my mother, when I was just a tiny baby! You say you believed in peace, but you won't say why! You just…aagh!" His wordless shout of frustration echoed down the tunnels.
Valka hung her head, but she didn't respond. That, Hiccup thought, might have been the worst insult of all.
"And Cloudjumper!" Hiccup said, feeling his cheeks grow wet with tears. "You look at that dragon like he's the only thing that matters! Like he's the only thing that ever mattered! It's like Dad and I never meant anything to you! And…hel, maybe I was better off without you! You left me alone in a Thor-damned dragon raid!"
Valka sank to the ground, her legs seeming to give out beneath her. But still, she refused to speak.
"Dad loved you," Hiccup said. He could feel his eyes streaming by then, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "He talked about you all the time. He had a helmet made from your armor, to keep you close. He loved you so much."
"Yes. Of course he did," Valka said, almost dismissively.
Hiccup felt his breathing quicken. He could feel the fire in his chest raging, threatening to explode.
"He's a good man, your father," Valka said. "He loved me with all his heart. He did, really! I could never have asked for a better husband."
"Then why?" Hiccup said. "For Thor's sake, TELL ME WHY!"
Valka flinched; she released her staff, and it clattered on the ground. Hiccup flinched right along with her, his voice still echoing. He hadn't meant to be quite that loud, and he hadn't meant to get quite so close. He stepped back, giving his mother some space.
"Just…tell me," Hiccup said. "For the love of Odin, stop speaking in riddles!"
Valka looked away for a moment, tapping rhythmically at the stone behind her. Then she seemed to reach a decision, and she drew herself up.
"Tell me, son," Valka said. "Did your father ever tell you how we got together?"
"Oh for…yes!" Hiccup said. More riddles? Really? "Yes, of course he did! He loved that story!"
Valka didn't respond. But he could see her looking at him, as though inviting him to go on.
"It was a summer's day," Hiccup said. "He was walking in the woods, all by himself, taking a break from the bustle of the village. And then he heard a commotion, and he saw you, being cornered by a…"
His thoughts caught up to him all at once, freezing the fire in his chest.
"...dragon," he finished weakly. "He said you were cornered by a dragon. A Nadder. Against some rocks."
Hiccup frowned and squinted, a sinking feeling growing within.
"Yes," Valka said. She chuckled, though there was no humor in it. "In the woods. In the middle of the day. With not a raid in sight."
Hiccup slumped against some rock opposite his mother, suddenly feeling very small.
"And…" Hiccup went. "And…he was too far away, so he just threw his axe, and it struck true, and…he said you were so thankful, afterwards! You two started courting right after that!"
His father had always been so proud of that moment. And Hiccup had never noticed anything odd about it — not before now.
"Yes. Well," Valka said quietly. "I had to pretend, didn't I? I could hardly have told him the truth. Being friends with the enemy? I would have been outcast. Or worse."
Hiccup's mouth gaped open. "But…but then…"
"And my family…they were so happy!" Valka said. "Stoick was the son of the Chief. He was about to be Chief himself. And Stoick loved me with all his heart. Everyone wanted it to happen, Hiccup. Everyone."
Hiccup listened to her words, all said in such a sullen tone.
"But then, you…" Hiccup said. "That dragon…Dad…oh hel…" He slid to the floor, leaning against rock, rubbing yet more water from his eyes..
Hiccup's mother had believed in peace before meeting Cloudjumper. She'd told him that earlier. And now that Hiccup thought of it, his father had mentioned that before as well.
"You weren't cornered," Hiccup said. It wasn't a question; it didn't need to be a question.
"No," Valka said quietly. "That Nadder had been…a friend. Not like how Cloudjumper is. But a friend."
Hiccup felt sick — at his mother or at the situation, he couldn't possibly have said. "And yet…yet you let Dad think that—"
"I had to!" Valka said. She shot to her feet, pacing madly from side to side like a dragon facing its foe. "He wouldn't have listened! None of them would have listened! They thought dragons were nothing but monsters, to be killed!"
Hiccup followed her with his head, the wheels in his head refusing to properly turn. "But…why didn't you?" he finally managed.
That made Valka stop in her tracks. She just gawped at him, like such a simple question was impossible to grasp.
"We were at war with the dragons, back then," Hiccup said. "We had every reason to hate them. So…how did you…"
He both heard and saw Valka take a deep breath, which she let out slowly. Then she sat back against a wall, facing him all the while.
"I never felt like a Viking," Valka said. "Berk felt so rough to me. So…violent. I used to go into the woods a lot, by myself, just to get away from it."
Hiccup settled down, his breathing slow and even, his heart thumping hard. This time, he was getting the truth; this time, she was going to answer him straight. Somehow, Hiccup just knew it in his bones.
"There was a secluded little spot I used to go to," Valka said. "I hadn't even started dragon training yet, when it started. Terrible Terrors went to drink there, sometimes. They just ignored me, at first. But then, they…got used to me, I guess. They started approaching me, started letting me get close. And then…well…"
"Oh no!" Valka shouted. "Dragon attack! Dragon attack!"
The little green Terrible Terror on her chest pulled and chewed at her nose, his eyes wide with delight, growling and gurgling.
"Owwwww!" Valka went, smiling all the while.
The Terror was only playing. His growls were playful growls, and not the growls of a dragon who meant to harm her. He could have bit through to the bone, had he wanted, yet he wasn't even drawing blood.
Her nose was starting to seriously hurt though. So Valka scratched the Terror under the neck, then she giggled as he collapsed purring against her chest.
"Aww," she went. "Did that feel nice, Sharptooth?"
Valka knew this Terror. She'd named him Sharptooth weeks ago, because he liked to chew things. He'd become the most regular visitor of her little grotto, which they were in right now, and he came up to her whenever he saw her.
Sharptooth croaked at her limply, his delightfully huge nostrils flaring rapidly. He smiled a dragon-ish smile with his eyes half-closed, breathing quickly as all Terrors did, blowing warm air against Valka's chin.
Valka flopped down onto her back, lightly scratching the Terror's head and smiling to herself. Terrible Terrors could be little rascals, and sometimes you just had to be assertive with them, but they were so very precious when handled right! If only others could see Terrors like this, instead of only seeing them in raids or in the arena…
…but then, this spot was Valka's spot, and she was hardly about to start sharing it. She wouldn't even be sharing it with Cami, and Cami was her closest friend! Valka's fellow teens would ruin this quiet place, with their roughness and their violence and their noise. And then, little Terrible Terrors would no longer stop here to drink from the lake — Terrible Terrors like the adorable purring puddle now snuggling against her neck.
Valka knew every little nook and cranny of this particular spot. She'd come to think of it as 'the Grotto', though 'grotto' didn't perfectly describe it. It was a place surrounded by cliffs and rocks on all sides, with abundant greenery within. A little waterfall fell down into a wide shallow lake, and mossy tree roots trailed down the rocks all the ground.
It was the Grotto —- her Grotto, hidden away near Raven Point, for her and for the little dragons who stopped for water and rest…
Hiccup blinked repeatedly, half-formed thoughts turning over and over in his mind.
"That's…the Cove," he said suddenly. "You knew the Cove!"
Valka chuckled; this time, he almost heard actual humor in it. "Well, I always thought of it as the Grotto, myself. Though, really, I don't think either word is entirely right..."
Hiccup blinked some more.
"Anyway," Valka said. "As I was saying…"
Another Terror called overhead, and Valka snapped to attention. She saw a new Terrible Terror, one she didn't recognise, with bright orange scales. She sat up, easing Sharptooth down onto her lap. Then she reached for her pack, left on the ground next to her, just in case.
Valka never carried weapons; she hated carrying weapons. But she had other ways of dealing with hostile Terrors. She'd learned those ways from time with Sharptooth, and from time with other Terrors as well. She had eels in that pack of hers, in their own little compartment — something near-guaranteed to frighten Terrors away. She also had cuttings of a special grass in that pack, which she knew to make Terrors go happy and silly.
The orange Terrible Terror landed in front of her and immediately began pawing at the ground, hissing and snarling, its threat clear. Then Sharptooth yapped at it, and the orange Terror almost immediately calmed.
Valka moved her hand away from the pack, deciding that the threat had passed. The small orange dragon then approached Valka gingerly, looking up with curious eyes. Valka looked away and held out her hand, having gone through this process several times. She smiled when warm scales pressed against her palm.
The Terrors clicked and popped at each other for a moment. Then the orange one butted at Valka's hand before revealing its neck, its request obvious. Valka obliged, scratching its sweet spot and sending it flopping to the ground with a purr.
Valka smiled at the sight, but she felt a twinge of sadness building also. How, she wondered, could anyone see these creatures as just animals? Could no-one else see the intelligence and soul behind each of their eyes? Could no-one else see how they talked to one another, if only in a simple way? Maybe there was an entire language there. Maybe she could one day learn it.
Perhaps she would call it…Dragonese.
"Dragonese?" Hiccup said doubtfully. "Really?"
"Yes, well, I was younger back then," Valka said. "I call it dragon-speak now. That's what dragons call it, after all."
Hiccup worked his mouth, astounded by the things she was saying. How had no-one ever known what Valka was doing? How could she have managed to keep this hidden for so long?
"So…Terrible Terrors?" Hiccup said, his head in his hands. "That's how it started?"
"Yes," she said wistfully. "So many of them were so…affectionate. So trusting. So different from how they acted in raids."
Hiccup nodded quietly. Nobody knew about Red Death, back then. Nobody had any way to know.
"I started having to go to dragon training," Valka said. "I didn't want to, but what could I do? And everyone else was so happy to be there! Especially Cami. She was the star of our class, from the very first lesson."
"Cami?" Hiccup asked.
"Camicazi," Valka said. "She was my closest friend. Well, closest human friend, at least."
Hiccup swallowed. He'd never heard of a Camicazi, and everyone knew everyone on Berk. And that had to mean…
Valka sighed. "That arena…it was always such a horrible place. So much hatred from vikings, so much fear from the dragons. I hated it, Hiccup. Hated it! Every day, when training was done, I'd go off to my Grotto to get away from it! Sharptooth, and the other Terrors…they were my only escape from it all!"
Hiccup, for the first time, found himself sympathizing with her. He'd felt much the same way during dragon training, and he'd run off to be with Toothless whenever he got the chance. Toothless had kept him going, like no-one else ever had. And he'd learned so much from Toothless — about dragons, and about himself as well.
"But then," Valka said, "one day, after training had finished, I saw…"
"I have to do something," Valka said.
She was flat on her back, over near the lake. Sharptooth and the orange Terror, who she had since named Flamey, were dozing at her sides. She'd fed each of them a fish from her pack and scratched their soft spots, and now they were sleeping it off in the sun.
"This is mad. All of it," she said. "You guys are just so…friendly. Everything people say about you is just…it's wrong. Completely wrong."
She sat up quickly. Sharptooth came awake, and he trilled at her questioningly with dozy eyes.
"Oh, I'm fine, little guy," Valka said. "Don't you worry." She scratched the back of his head, and he settled back down to nap.
She had her pack with her as always, with silly grass and with some eels for emergencies. She hadn't used eels in a while — all the Terrors who came here seemed to trust her by now — but she brought out the silly grass often enough. She looked over at the pack for a moment, and then she sighed.
"What if these…work on other dragons?" Valka said to herself. "The eels. The grass. Maybe, if I brought these to the arena, I could—-"
A wide dark shadow passed over her, and Valka immediately went rigid.
Above her, coming to land by the lake, was the unmistakable sight of a Monstrous Nightmare.
"Sweet merciful Odin…" Valka said, her heart beginning to thump.
She watched the Nightmare land. The Nightmare began to drink, without appearing to notice her, and Valka began to feel herself relax. But Sharptooth then let out a loud yawn, and the Nightmare's head quickly swung her way.
"Oh…oh, Thor have mercy…"
The Monstrous Nightmare stalked towards her with narrowed pupils. It sniffed repeatedly, deadly teeth visible within its open mouth. This dragon was hundreds of pounds of pure muscle, capable of setting its very body aflame, capable of killing her in so many ways.
Valka was breathing far too fast by then. She wanted to run, but this Nightmare would just catch her, and she didn't want to die, and she didn't want leave her Terrors to be—
"Um…um…" Valka went. "H…hi?"
