Chapter 6: The Magical Space Diner

Clara and Missy beamed with pride at the sight of their restaurant filled with customers. It bustled noisily with the crowd and the sounds of utensils clinking against plates. Missy handled the bar while Clara bussed tables. Their success had almost become overwhelming.

Only a week had passed since they had opened shop, but word had gotten around quickly that the mysterious diner on the outskirts of town could make any dish one could think of, and at a fair market price. The Tardis databanks held a vast selection of recipes from across the universe. All Clara had to do was plug in the description of a dish into the replicator and out would pop a delicious and perfectly constructed meal. When the dirty plates returned, the leftovers and residues simply evaporated from the ceramics, leaving them squeaky clean again. It was like magic.

The first few days, Missy had stayed out of sight as she built herself a Gallifreyan dummy fob watch. She needed to disguise herself as human to escape the same persecution the Doctor had faced. Once completed, she transferred her essence into the device. It rewrote her biology cell-by-cell, until finally she was just as human as Clara. She carried the watch on her person at all times but had skipped putting a perception filter on it. She could open it and change back whenever she wanted.

As the diner became busier, Missy found herself forced to help Clara more than she had intended. She had never dreamed that their little restaurant would become as successful as it did. Bartending was far beneath her, but she chalked it down as a necessary means to an end.

Stepping out of tradition with typical American diners, she stocked the bar with hard liquor as well as beer. She needed her patrons talking. They did not seem to mind anyway. Most of them probably had no concept of America anyway, so how would they know?

A burly customer at the end of the bar held up a claw for another round of Sontaran whiskey. He had already had too many, but oh well. The drunker the better. Nothing could loosen lips like a drink. Missy quirked her lip and poured him another shot of the green liquid.

The Kapponian man downed the contents like it was nothing and belched loudly. Missy contorted her face in disgust. The things she would go through for that stupid Doctor. Calming her expression, she rested her cuffed elbows on the chromed bartop, smirking suggestively.

"So, did you hear about that murder on the news last week?" she asked innocently.

The Kapponian raised an eyebrow at her. He would gladly take drink from a human, especially for such a cheap price, but willingly conversing with one was another matter. They just looked too much like their hated enemy. His sensitive ears only picked up the sound of one heart beating. Time Lord or human, he distrusted them all the same. Saying nothing, he cleared his throat and held out his glass expectantly.

Missy placed her hand over the rim and shook her head. "No more until you tell me what you know."

The scaly man bared his teeth. He slammed the glass down onto the bartop almost hard enough to crack it. The whole diner fell silent and all eyes shot towards them. He shoved the glass towards her demandingly. Alcohol reeked on his breath. His eyes were tinted green with bloodshot.

Missy bared her teeth back. She could play this game too. Her patience snapped. She slammed the countertop with a closed fist. "Speak, Kapponian!"

Clara rushed to the bar and grabbed Missy by the elbow. She led her to the back and swung the Elvis-adorned metal door shut behind her. "Missy, what are you doing?" she hissed. "We need these people to like us!"

Missy yanked her arm out of Clara's grip and crossed them. "Are you sure I can't just torture them into giving us the information? It would be so much faster."

Clara exhaled from her nose forcefully. "Remember the mission."

"I can't do this, Clara." Missy whined. "I'm not cut out for this sort of thing."

Clara sighed, grumbling under her breath. This had been a crazy idea anyway. Keeping Missy under control was like trying to cage a rabid squirrel. "Look, I'll hire somebody to bus the tables and I'll tend the bar. Do whatever you like, Missy," she raised a finger sternly, "but do not jeopardize our mission."

Missy raised her eyebrows, impressed. She definitely lived up to her reputation of being a control freak. That's why she had chosen her in the first place, to control the Doctor. She just didn't expect it to come back to bite her in the ass. "I want answers just as much as you do, Clara dear, but I need to do this my way."

"Hold on, this diner was your idea."

"Yes but I'm bored now," Missy drew out the last vowel in a sing-song tone. "Mummy wants to play."

"Then go," Clara pointed to the door. "Go into the city and see what you can find out." Clara would not admit it, but she had grown impatient too. Nobody had spoken to them the entire week other than to order food. Perhaps more drastic measures were needed.

Missy's face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. "Really?" she asked, incredulous.

Clara shooed her away with a flick of her wrist. "Go. Do your thing."

Missy clapped her hands together and giggled excitedly. She reached for her parasol and twirled it around the crook of her arm. Taking a long black Kapponian robe she had brought up earlier from the Tardis wardrobe, she slung it over her shoulders and raised the hood over her head. Her face obscured, maybe now people would talk to her. If not, she had other methods she could resort to.

She patted her pocket to make sure the fob watch was still there. She cursed under her breath. She had turned herself into the wrong species. "Find somebody quick, Clara," she spoke from beneath the dark hood, "or this little charade will come crashing down."

With that, Missy shoved past the door and exited the diner, disappearing into the night.

Clara watched her leave and rested her hands on her hips. She shook her head. Missy was wasted as a bartender. She needed to utilize her talents in less savory ways if they were to get anywhere in their investigation. She chewed her lip thoughtfully. She had just set Missy free to terrorize the town. She hoped she hadn't just made a huge mistake.