"How many pieces of her Heart would you guess are out there?"
Xehanort glanced at Amaya, as they strode out from the city's edge, onto a forest path.
He put his hands in his pockets as he pondered the question seriously.
The description of the incident, the look of the girl herself, the piece of Heart he'd gotten a sense of in that moment...
"Six," he said finally. "No - seven, including the one still inside the girl's body."
Amaya looked over to him with a warm smile. Approval shining in those eyes. "That was my guess, as well."
"Then why did you-"
"It's nice to have confirmation," Amaya cut across. "I don't like to just assume anything; checking with others can make sure your findings are correct."
Xehanort glanced at her, then away. He nodded out into the distance. "Hm...true. So, then: I suppose you already have an idea of where to find these lost pieces of Heart?"
"I do," she confirmed. "If you need help, I'll be happy to give you hints and pointers - but I'd like you to do this yourself."
Xehanort let out a soft laugh. "And I suppose none of these missing pieces are in dangerous locations? I have no way to defend myself, you realize."
"I know. None of them should be anywhere dangerous - but if they are, I'm here for you," she replied calmly.
"Tch...Well, let's get on with it, then." Xehanort looked around himself, gazing off through the trees. He breathed in, and out... He stopped, raising an arm, turning and pointing. "One is there. Not far from us."
"I'll follow your lead, then, child."
Xehanort sighed. He was wary of being the one to go first - but - she was with him, and...he wasn't going to show baseless fears like that. So he drew another breath and set off into the woods, straying from the path. He walked through the brush, tensed, the entire time - much more than he'd ever admit to being. After several silent minutes of journeying, he emerged into a small clearing, with a stream of clear water curving away from him.
He tuned his senses, feeling out into the world again - and felt the pulse.
He looked around him, his gaze roamed the ground...and settled on the stream.
A glinting, fist-sized piece of blue crystal was sitting at the bottom of the water, lodged between two large rocks.
"There," Xehanort said, pointing to it. "Her Heart was crystallized to give it a form to remain here in, of course - as Hearts sometimes do naturally and instinctively, when they survive a world fallen to darkness, and become lost in the Ocean Between, as a means of protecting themselves."
"Very good." Amaya stepped forward, crouching down and reaching out a hand to the water. The piece of crystal glowed, and lifted up from the stream, surrounded by a faint golden bubble of magic. It drifted into Amaya's hand - and then it shrank down and vanished in a flash of light. The woman stood tall again, looking to him with a smile. "One down, five more to go."
Xehanort turned away, extending his senses once more. A small smile came to his own lips. "Yes. This is going to be easy - as I thought."
Amaya laughed very clearly and audibly.
Xehanort felt a bubbling of pleasure in his Heart at the sound - at knowing he'd been the cause for it. She wasn't laughing at him this time, not at all.
Yes...he did really prefer her to remain this way. Exactly as she was...as she had always been...
As he'd predicted, collecting the remaining five pieces of crystallized Heart was an easy enough task.
He wouldn't say it took him more than a few hours.
And the final piece, as it turned out, was inside the very city which the girl lived; it had been found in a maze of underground, vast sewer tunnels and waterways.
Thus, it was easy enough for Xehanort to make his way back out of them again, and onto the streets. He navigated his way back to the main square, and strode over to the weaponsmith's storefront with confidence in his steps.
The man was still there, waiting for them, just as before - and so was the child, of course.
"Did you-" the man began, actually rising from his seat for a change.
"Yes - you can rest assured your daughter will be returned to normal soon," Xehanort cut across. He hesitated, sneaking a glance at Amaya. Well, she didn't shoot him a glare of anger or disapproval this time - so perhaps his words had been deemed acceptable enough...
Amaya herself stepped forward bringing up an arm - a hand, palm up. Light flashed in her palm, and the floating six pieces of crystal appeared in the air, circling around each other in a ring. She gazed at them intently, her lips frowned, her eyes narrowed. Then, the pieces flew inward to a central point, and a new light flared to blind Xehanort. When it faded, he saw the pieces were all fused together - save for one, obviously missing portion at the top right.
The woman made an almost lazy gesture, sending the incomplete Heart toward the motionless girl's body. It passed through her chest, emitting a shimmering golden light before fading away again. Amaya looked to Xehanort. "If you could check for me, please - to make sure it succeeded...that it's all there?"
Xehanort stared at her. Then he strode forward, gazing down on the child and reaching out with his abilities. He found the Heart easily enough, this time. And found it whole. Not flawless, not without its seams and cracks...but he thought it was indeed on the way to mending. He released a breath, stepping away again. "It's all there - the girl should be fine come tomorrow morning."
The man stared at Xehanort, emotions radiating from him. He took a stumbling step forward, raising a hand - and before Xehanort knew it, his hand was being taken, and shaken. "Thank you-"
"Yes, well, it was easy enough," Xehanort said tersely, pulling free. He turned away, starting off down the street. "My work here is done now. Goodbye."
"Xehanort-" Amaya's voice called.
He ignored her, walking faster now, his Heart thudding unevenly in his chest...
"I'm sorry - we'll be back tomorrow to check in on things," he heard Amaya telling the man quickly. Then, he heard her fast, light footsteps behind him, catching up. "Xehanort, wait-"
Her hand was on his arm, stopping him. He whirled to face her, his face etched. "Let go!" he snapped.
Her hand released him instantly, surprising him for a moment.
"Xehanort..."
He gazed at her coldly. "What? I finished the task, didn't I? It's done. Now-"
Her face changed. It sharpened. "Let's take a walk," she said, interrupting.
It wasn't a request.
Xehanort's own face fell. He sighed. "As you say..."
The woman led the way this time, out of the city and into the woods once again. She led him down the path - on and on, until they were beyond view of the city's high brick walls. There was no one in sight, no sounds but the ones made by nature.
She stopped, at some arbitrary point, finally, and turned to face him.
He stopped as well, staring back at her. "Why did we come all the way out here?" he said, irritated.
"We both know that this distant, cold front of yours is only that: a front."
Xehanort froze, gazing at her for a moment in confusion. Then he collected himself. "Do we now?" he replied coolly.
"Yes - you're doing it right now, as you've been doing for the past several hours," Amaya went on, calm and clear, her gaze never wavering. "It's a defense mechanism, because you want to avoid caring, feeling, loving - and losing again. You don't want to take the risk with your Heart again - and because you never learned how to properly deal with grief, and sadness. But we're going to work on that, together. And I'm going to make sure you have the tools and the strength to deal with it all properly, and move forward, and stay true to yourself - the way you failed to do the first time around."
Xehanort glowered at her now. "You may have shown me all of your life, but I haven't shown you all of mine. Don't presume-"
"Actually, you have."
"Funny. I would have remembered that," Xehanort said, sarcastic.
"Not this you - older you. The current you," Amaya said. "It was the other day; I was visiting your current self, and I wanted to be sure I fully understood you - to be sure that I did know the details of your life, and what you went through. How you really, truly felt. So I could discuss it all with you properly. And now I know it all. I saw all of it. Not just the worst, but the best, Xehanort. The good. And I know the good boy I raised is still there in you."
"Do you? What could have given you that impression?"
"You saved Skuld from a terrible fate," Amaya said firmly. "You listened to her, you felt for her, and you went against your older self to set her free. To protect her. That was an act from the true Xehanort, from your good Heart and nowhere else! The Heart, the person, who knows right from wrong, innately. Who empathizes. Who has compassion. And I know you know right from wrong: I know I taught you that. You still know how to be good and decent, to act selflessly and with kindness to others...you're just afraid to now. You've locked yourself away. All of it. You're scared of getting invested - with anyone, on any level. But I'm going to show you that it's okay to do so again."
"You don't know what you're talking about," Xehanort scoffed.
Suddenly Amaya stepped forward, scoffing right back at him. She put her face in his (he wasn't intimidated!). "Tell me this, child: what is the point, then, of bringing back all of the friends you cared for and lost again, if you're just going to act like this?" she spoke, in a hushed, intense voice. "Are you going to act like this around them? Will you shun them, ignore them? Act like you don't know them? Pretend you have no more feelings in your Heart for them now? If you truly don't care, if it makes no difference to you now, then I suppose we should just go and tell Radiant Garden's scientists to scrap those Replicas. They won't be needed, or missed, after all - will they?"
"Shut up - you wouldn't do that!" Xehanort shouted, his fists curling at his sides - shaking, all of a sudden. He didn't even know why.
"Why wouldn't I?" Amaya said harshly. "Tell me why."
"Because you are good!" Xehanort hissed.
Silence.
The woman's eyes bore into his, a foot or two away. "So you count on the goodness of others, but cast aside the goodness in yourself. That's convenient, isn't it? You can count on others to act how good people will, while you act counter, and reap the benefits. Isn't that right? Well, what makes you so sure I'm good, Xehanort? You've seen that I can be as cruel and spiteful as you, when I want to be. Maybe I'm so angry and frustrated with you right now that I'm feeling spiteful again! Can you really count on my goodness to make me so wonderfully predictable?"
"Stop it! You're not- you don't-" Xehanort breathed, ragged. He wasn't sure what he was even trying to say. His Heart was twisting, it was- He spun away from her, striding off into the trees.
"No more discussing your dreams of being a Keyblade Master with them. No more joking and bonding with them. The walking carpet, fast-footed Eraqus-!" her voice called out after him, loudly. Shouting now.
"SHUT UP!" Xehanort roared, whirling back toward her. He wanted to summon his weapon, he wanted to strike her, he wanted to do a thousand different things - yet he could do none of them!
"You killed him, you know that, don't you? Your older self. You killed your own best friend! Do you want to live a life where you do that again? Or do you want to live in a world where you can be with him again, hug him and laugh with him and play chess with him again? Free and happy?"
Xehanort gazed at her, breathing harshly, quivering. "Stop," he said again. "Just stop this."
"No. If this is how you want to be - if this is the way you want to live - then that is where that road leads. But you can have the strength to choose another road instead. One where that never has to happen again. Where you can be with him again. I'm here...to help you choose that path, Xehanort. Like I've always...been here to help you. To guide you. To hold you...and care for you..."
Xehanort turned from her, staring off into the trees, putting his hands in his pockets and hunching his shoulders. He closed his eyes, bowing his head, letting his long silver hair fall into his face.
He heard her footsteps behind him. He tensed, expecting a blow, or perhaps a Keyblade in the back-
But he felt only her arms wrapping around his form, pulling him in close. Her body against his - her hair against his face. Her mouth in his ear. He opened his eyes again.
"Just be the strong, brave person I know you are...and open your Heart again, and let me help you..." she whispered to him. "Please...I am here for you physically again, but I can't be there for you emotionally...unless you open up and let me be. Let anyone be. Your friends who will be here soon, and..." Her voice trailed off, into nothing, ending in a high, breaking note.
Xehanort stood in her grasp, rigid and trembling. Staring off into the distance. His mind itself...distant. Yet the emotions he was feeling from her were invading his Heart, all the same...intense, hot, worming, clawing...
"Let go of me..." he whispered.
"Xehanort-"
"Please let me go," he quavered out, his Heart pounding in his chest now.
Her arms released him immediately, withdrawing.
He broke free, stumbling forward, wanting to run and-
But where was there to run to?
And even if he did...she would always find him again...
Why?
WHY?!
"Xehanort...I'm proud of you, for what you did today. Saving a girl's life - a child - that isn't a small thing," her voice came again, soft and kind. As she began to approach him again. Closing the distance. "It's a wonderful, momentous thing. It was good. You were good. And it should make you feel good inside."
Xehanort stood there, ignoring her for a long minute, as she came to a stop behind him - close behind him. "I feel nothing," he said flatly. "And it means nothing - a woman like yourself must know that."
"How does it mean nothing?" came the reply, simple and - sincerely thoughtful? Listening?
"Did you not consider what this evil sorceress's response will be when she hears word of the girl she ruined frolicking about again, happy and normal?" Xehanort went on, emotionless. "Doubtless, she'll return, and finish the job this time. She can't have people thinking they can escape her power, her punishments. That they can resist or oppose her in any way. That they can subvert her. Perhaps she'll kill the child, next time. Or both child and parent, simply to make an example for everyone else. In saving this girl, we've probably condemned her and her father to far worse fates. Wonderful job, indeed."
"I did consider that," the woman said, quiet, and perhaps honest. "But her father and I both decided that the happiness and healthiness of that girl outweighed the risk of reprisal. Xehanort...what-if's and probably's aren't a reason to just do nothing. To not help people when you can. You look at the big picture, you discuss your options, and you make the choice. And we already discussed this as well: they'll be leaving the city by nightfall. Finding a new home, a place far away, where it would take a very long time for the sorceress to find them. If she even wanted to expend the effort to track down a single child, a single family."
Xehanort looked back at her, frowning. "You've thought of everything, then, have you?"
"We've thought of enough to make an informed decision - to take the chance," Amaya responded. "For her sake. Because it was worth it."
Xehanort looked at his feet. "What now, then? Back to that 'home' of yours, on that plain world?"
Amaya gave a soft laugh, that he almost thought was a snicker. It made him glance up at her again. "You think it's so plain, do you, child? So boring?"
"Haven't I made that clear?"
"If you're only looking at the surface of things, yes, it might look to be," Amaya said, in casual tones. "But I can tell you that it has its share of secrets. If you're feeling so bored at home, you might spend some time investigating. If you can find out what it is by the end of the month, I'll give you a reward."
Xehanort eyed her, curiosity rising again in him. Intrigue. "Really?"
"Yes," the woman said simply. She smiled at him softly. "And you deserve a reward for what you did here today, too."
Xehanort flushed as he looked away now. "I'm not a child..." he muttered.
"I didn't know only children could be thanked and rewarded for doing good deeds," Amaya said mildly. "But if feeling good and getting rewarded does nothing for you, I suppose there's no point in going out of my way for you, is there?"
Xehanort glanced at her, his lips parting. "I- that's not-" He sighed. "I never said I didn't want it..." he muttered sullenly.
"Xehanort."
"What?"
She reached out to him, suddenly - briefly touching his face, looking him in the eyes still. "I mean it: I'm incredibly proud of you for what you did here today - and what you did for Skuld, before. That took bravery, and strength. True strength: the strength to be kind."
"Hmph..." Xehanort turned his head aside, his cheeks tinged somewhat.
"It's easy to be angry, to be cruel, to hit back, to yell and insult," Amaya spoke, her fingers caressing his cheek now...then, going up to brush at his hair. "It's easy to distance yourself, to sit and be sullen, to be cold. It's hard to keep hoping, to keep loving, and caring, and feeling. It's infinitely harder to be good in the face of what's not. It's not strength, to act the way you and your future self do - it's weakness. True strength is being strong enough to be gentle, to be compassionate, even when it's the last thing you want to be - when you feel like you just can't be anymore."
Xehanort startled as he suddenly realized her hand was still there. He pulled away from her, gasping. He blinked quickly, flexing his fingers at his sides, looking down and away.
"And I know you're strong, Xehanort. Truly strong, in the right way."
He turned from her.
He couldn't find a response.
