Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story are not intended to be viewed as those of the author. The following is a fan-written fiction. Gravity Falls, Star vs. The Forces of Evil, Kim Possible, and Big Bad Beetleborgs are property of their respective owners, creators, and publishers. Please support the official releases.

TW: This story will contain references to physical and psychological abuse, murder, and torture.


|Princesses of the Disco|

Misao had been to plenty of discos and nightclubs back in Switzerland and Germany, but none had prepared her for a place like the Bounce Lounge: A nightclub in the literal clouds, where people of different species, from different worlds, and entirely different universes danced, drank, and mingled across the sprawling complex of clouds topped with a dance floor, bean bag seats, and various concessions ranging from an innocuous photobooth to a fully stocked bar.

"Wow… a nightclub in another dimension!" Mabel said as she and Misao followed Star through the portal from her bedroom and to the edge of the multicolored dance floor.

"Yep, this is The Bounce Lounge," Star said. "If I ever wanna chill, I come here. And since you're my new friends, I'm going to share my favorite chill spot with you!"

Mabel brought a hand to her sweater-protected heart. "Aw! This is such a great surprise."

Misao looked out onto the dance floor, where robot DJs were dropping technological beats that the most fervent European EDM mixers could only dream of. "I am already liking it! If I could only bring my party supplies from Berlin…"

Star looked back over at her smaller new friend. "I don't know where Berlin is, but if you want to use my scissors to hop back over there and get them, you can."

Misao quickly waved her hands. "Oh, no, no, no… maybe another time. For now, we can have a good clean party, ja?"

Star beamed. "Sure! Anyway, this isn't even the surprise~!"

"There's more?" Both Mabel and Misao asked as they followed Star around the corner of the dance floor and towards a rowdy party of girls in pretty dresses at one of the tables.

Star gave an enthusiastic nod. "Well, duh. What's a party without-" She walked into an outstretched hand and stopped. The hand, orange and clawed like an eagle's, belonged to a tall and heavily built man with the upper body and head of a bald eagle who made Arm Day every day. He wore the pelt of a fearsome-looking rat creature, purple shorts, matching sandals, and a pair of sweet Aviator shades.

"VIP section, members only!" The eagle-like creature commanded with a loud and aggressive voice.

"Oof, birdman bouncer," Misao said.

Mabel cupped her cheeks, painted with a blush. "I want him to be my spirit animal."

"I'm Talon Raventalon, and Talon Raventalon is NO ONE'S spirit animal!" The bouncer yelled at the girls. "Except for Talon Raventalon!"

"Okay, Talon Raventalon," Star said. "But can we get in? Our friends are waiting for us in the VIP."

"If you're not on the list, you don't get to RIDE!" Talon Raventalon yelled.

"Hey, let them in, bird brain! They're with me!" Another voice called over, and Princess Lilacia Ponyhead flew in and stopped between the bouncer and Star, magical glitter trailing behind her. She turned to Star and lit up. "Hey, B-Fly!"

"Pony!" Star greeted back, before hugging the disembodied Unicorn.

"Hugs~!" They sang together as they embraced.

Mabel, still enthralled by Talon Raventalon despite his rudeness, swooned at the sight of Pony Head. "This place is like the time I overdosed on Smile Dip… but without the terrible crash."

Misao was knocked out of her enchantment and looked at Mabel in horror. "I'm sorry, you did what? On what?!"

"Well, this isn't any candy hallucination, this is my best friend in the entire multiverse, Princess Pony Head," Star introduced, before turning to Pony Head and gesturing to her companions. "These are my friends I told you about, Mabel and Misao."

"It is nice to meet you," Misao said, "And you are gorgeous."

"I'm gorgeous? Okay obviously I am, thank you so much." Pony Head said as she circled around Misao and checked out her vibrant hair. "But have you seen your hair? Oh my goodness! I need to kidnap your stylist like yesterday, who are they and do they do manes?"

"Are you kidding? I practiced on manes," Mabel said. "If you have a few hours and a hundred dollars, I'll turn you from a Princess to a Goddess."

Pony Head whipped around and floated up to Mabel's eye level. "I got all the time in the world and all the money, too. Girl, you're gonna mess me up!"

Star fought against her every instinct to squeal with joy from seeing her friends getting along, as Pony turned to Talon Raventalon. "Well? Let them in, I said they're with me."

Talon Raventalon followed the order without fuss, unhooking the velvet rope to allow the girls access. As they walked past, he lifted his sunglasses and eyed all three of the newcomers and brought a smartphone to his ear.

"Tango Delta Lima Actual, this is Tango RomeoTango." He declared with no consideration for the ears of whomever was on the other end. Indeed, he was loud enough that Misao looked back in his direction, agitated by his yelling. "Sierra Bravo has entered the AO, the HVT is nowhere to be seen and the LZ is clear. You can bring it on in."

There was a pause, before a distorted, whispering voice replied. "… What?"

In a mercifully quieter voice, Talon reiterated. "Uh, Star Butterfly? She's here at the Bounce Lounge?"

There was another pause. "Oh? Oh! Right, right… we'll be right there. Uh… Tango Delta Lima Actual, out?"

Star cartwheeled to catch up with Pony Head and walked alongside her. "So, Pony! Why the Bounce Lounge? I thought St. O's was the biggest party in the multiverse."

"Yeah, it's great and I love it? But the Bounce Lounge got something that St. O's don't," Pony said as she led them to the table.

"What?" Star, Mabel, and Misao asked together.

Pony Head whipped her mane around and pointed off the VIP cloud towards the dance floor, and the juice bar to its side where a group of boys from various worlds and dimensions stood–ranging from handsome humanoids and brooding beastmen to stylish slimes and magnificent masculine machines.

"Boys, duh! I don't know about you, B-Fly, but I can't live on anarchy and freedom alone. I need to find a hot guy to make bad decisions with."

Star stared at the hot guys. "Ooh, I like freedom and anarchy."

Mabel leaned in over Star's right shoulder to gaze with gleaming eyes and drooling mouth at the hunky young men by the dance floor. "And I like boys."

Misao squeezed her head under Star's left arm to ogle them as well with her own big grin. "And I like making bad decisions with them!"

Pony Head stared at the two girls, then turned to Star. "Okay, I know I said that I'm cool with Earth Turd, but these new friends are like ten times better than him already. I was gonna act out if you brought two more squares to party with us–but they're not so it's okay."

Star laughed. "Puh-leeze, Pony. What kind of girl do you take me for? I've only got the best friends."

"Well duh, I am your bestie!" Pony Head turned to the table she came from. "All right girls, I want you to meet… the Princess Squad."

Seated around the low, pillow-surrounded table were five Princesses–a humanoid with long curly blonde hair and four arms, a humanoid who looked like one of her parents was a cactus, a relatively human-looking humanoid with brown skin, short violet hair and a stylish beret, a large princess with two separate horned heads, and a very large cross between an ogre and an elephant.

"These are Princess Arms, Cactus Princess, Princess Gwendolyn, Two-Head Princess, and Princess Smooshy." Pony Head introduced. "Don't worry, they don't bite, but Smooshy might steal your face so watch out for that, mmhm?"

Mabel didn't hear that part. She was still stuck on "hanging out with the Princess Squad" and envisioning all the sweaters she would make for her new friends for life. Misao hopped up to wave a hand in front of Mabel's face, confirming she was in a trance.

"I will make sure our faces go unstolen," she said as she got behind Mabel and pushed her towards the Princess VIP table.

"Yeah, uh huh! Go mingle with the girls." Pony Head swept around behind Star and began to push her away. "I gotta have some face-time with my bestie. It's been like a million years since I saw her so we're going to go over there and talk."

As Pony Head and Star left the group, Mabel stared at the Princesses at the table, who returned her gaze. Misao peered around Mabel and waved. "Hallo und guten nacht!"

They were met with a frosty silence, the Princesses–all representatives of their own kingdoms and royal lineages–unsure of what to make of the two shockingly mundane girls presented to them. After a moment Princess Arms raised an eyebrow and spoke. "… So you're friends of Star's, right?"

"Ja!" Misao said. "I'm Misao and-"

Mabel suddenly snapped out of her haze and stomped forward, her single step all but shaking the cloud. "I am Mabel, and I will make CUTE SWEATERS FOR ALL OF YOU!"

The Princess Squad once again stared in silence at the two girls, then looked at each other.

Star let herself be pushed along, reaching the edge of the VIP cloud and out of earshot from even the most astute audibly inclined.

Pony Head circled around her. "So… what's going on with you and Marco? Are you gonna tell him? Did you tell him yet?"

She gasped. "Are you two already-?"

"Pony!" Star hissed, silencing her. "I haven't said anything to anyone except for you."

"Mmm… I didn't tell anyone," Pony Head assured her. "Well, at least anyone who cares. And I mean, who even knows who Marco is at St. O's?"

Star blanched. "Everyone knows who Marco is!"

"Uh no? They know Princess Turdina, they don't know Marco Turdino."

At Star's fiery look, Pony Head recoiled. "Oh come on, you know I'm just joking! I didn't tell anyone, honest!"

Star's glare cooled, but she still gave her the side-eye as she turned away. Undaunted by it, Pony Head circled around her. "So come on, spill! What's up?"

"Nothing-" Star stopped and backtracked. "Well, not nothing? I don't know… Marco's just been really… dotey on me since the fight."

Pony Head raised an eyebrow. "… Dotey?"

"You know, he's been taking care of me and making sure I'm okay… but not like in that smothering, desperate way Tom was?"

She wrung the shaft of her wand and looked aside, her face warming. "Like… in that really sweet way where he knows exactly what I want when I need it, even if I don't know what it is."

Pony Head tilted her long pointed horn to her right. "And it's not creepy?"

"No, I mean he's been sticking closer to me, but not like… too close."

She hugged herself and smiled, thinking about the last few days. "He makes me feel… safe, like I can just let my guard down with him."

Pony Head stared at Star, the yellow stars in her eyes growing bigger as she gasped. "Oh my goodness, you got it so bad for him!"

Star threw her head back and groaned out loud. "I know! I'm the one who has these feelings!"

She palmed her face with both hands and sighed. "I am such a mess. I've been a mess all week!"

Pony Head didn't see the problem here. "So you like Earth Turd, okay? Just go out with him."

Lowering her hands, Star let out a dramatic sigh. "I can't just go out with him! There's a girl that he likes! He's been crushing on her for like… since kindergarten and they just started talking to each other and he's got a shot at her and…"

She stopped, and her left eye twitched. "And oh my gosh that's not even talking about all the other drama."

Because while Star Butterfly was many things, unobservant was not one of them.

"What, you mean Tom? The guy you broke up with and won't stop blowing up your phone? Because if you've had other stuff going down you are going to tell me." Pony Head got up in Star's face. "You know you can't be leaving me in the cold!"

Her bestie's energy brought her to laugh. "I promise I will."

Pony Head was going to hold her to that. "Yeah, anyways. I normally wouldn't do this because you're my bestie and I think you can do better, but I'm going to be absolutely real with you because you're my bestie and I want you to be happy."

Pony Head paused for dramatic effect.

"Tell him that you like him, girl!"

Star pouted. "Pony…"

Pony Head pulled back. "I'm serious, B-Fly. Let him know you like him now, and not later. You don't want him to hook up with some other girl, get all jealous and junk, and blow up his whole spot by telling him you like him then, do you?"

Star thought about it and concluded that would suck. "All right, fine. I mean, the most that'll happen is that Marco will just say that even though I'm falling in love with him, he's still got strong feelings for Jackie and he's not just going to throw those away easily."

"Yeah, but he was ready to kill someone for you." Pony Head pointed out. "That doesn't come from nothing."

It didn't, and her astute observation brought Star's blush back.

"So what are you going to do?"

Star sighed and gave up the ghost. "Tell Marco how I feel about him, at least so he knows?"

"Mmm… no, you're going to stop moping around and party with me."

At Star's glare, Pony Head rolled her eyes. "And yeah, talk to the Earth Turd or whatever."

Her glare evaporated with her laugh. "Thanks for inviting me out here, I needed this."

"No thank you! You being into somebody means I get to winggirl all the hot guys off you for myself!" Pony Head began twisting and rocking in place. "This Pony's goin' for a ride tonight~"

Star placed a hand on her cheek, giggling. "Wow Pony, to think you go to Miss Heinous' school."

Pony Head gasped. "Oh yeah! You just totally reminded me. We finally chased Miss Heinous out of the school. She ain't there no more."

"No way!"

"No Heinous, no rules, so we're in da club to let the whole multiverse know–and you know, bring some boys back to the school for some of the other girls."

Laughing again, Star almost felt a little bad for any guy that got taken home by a Princess tonight. "That's an after party I'm gonna have to miss."

"No duh, you got your own after party tonight, riiiight~?" Pony Head teased. Star's blush erupted across her face as she laughed with Pony Head.

"Seriously though, thank you… I've been freaking out about this." Star hugged her tight. "Well, and all the other stuff that's been happening."

Pony Head snuggled into Star's embrace, then pulled back. "Yeah, what are you going to do if your mom finds out you're fighting like an evil monster army?"

Star groaned. "Ugh… get dragged back home probably. I'm on super thin ice after what happened with Toffee–even after I blew him up."

"That's messed up. You're like, fighting them though, right? Like fighting-fighting them? Your mom fought like an entire war so she's one to talk."

"Yeah!" Star ran that through her head again. "Wait, she did what?"

Pony Head dropped the subject. "Hold up, where'd the Princess Squad go?"

The VIP table was completely empty, Mabel, Misao, and The Princess Squad were gone, their absence derailing the conversation. Star gawked at the empty table. "… Huh? Where did…?"

"PRINCESS MABEL! PRINCESS MABEL! PRINCESS MABEL! PRINCESS MABEL!"

Star and Pony Head looked over at the dance floor, where Mabel stood at the center of the dance floor with her chin held up and her arms raised like some villainous pro wrestler. Two-Headed Princess stood behind her, bestowing one of their two crowns upon Mabel's head while the other princesses and Misao stood in a circle around her–clapping their hands and chanting her name.

Lowering her hands and rolling her shoulders, causing the crown to tilt back, Mabel addressed the. "My first decree as honorary Princess of the Dance Floor…"

She shot out her right hand, presenting Misao with her upturned palm. "Is to crown Misao as my honorary co-princess!"

"Long live Princess Misao!" The other princesses cheered as Misao bounced over to Mabel's side. Two-Headed Princess took their other crown off and bestowed it upon Misao's head as she laughed.

Mabel made a sweeping gesture across the dance floor. "And for my second decree! I hereby declare the mighty fine ladies of the St. Olga's School for Wild and Free Princesses of the Disco to seize this dance floor for the glory of Princess Turdina!"

Star grinned from ear to ear and forgot all about whatever wars her mom may have fought. "WOO-HOO! LONG LIVE PRINCESS MABEL AND PRINCESS MISAO!"

"GLORY TO THE PRINCESSES OF THE DISCO!" Misao called out.

"ALL HAIL THE PRINCESSES OF THE DISCO!" The Princesses cheered.

Pony Head flew up and joined Mabel's side. "You heard the Princess! Let's get down, ladies!"

"DJ!" Mabel shouted. "I want that music to make me lose control!"

The two robot DJs snapped their fingers and pointed at Mabel. They then proceeded to drop a techno beat that had the Bounce Lounge shaking from the bass and lighting up in sync with the tiles of the dance floor. As commanded, the Princesses and all the other guests Bounce Lounge all over the club got down and dirty.

Star wrapped an arm around Mabel's waist and side-hugged her. "You hit it off fast with them!"

Mabel laughed and returned the hug. "Oh yeah, we're all Princess Friends Forever, now!"

"I will freakin' die for you, Mabel!" Princess Arms said as she walked like an Egyptian past her.

"And I'll kill for you, babe! Say the word~!" Mabel said as she took Star's hands and swung her out to face and dance with her properly.

Misao laughed as she popped and locked while Pony Head twisted and bobbed herself next to her. "I do not know how she does it, isn't she amazing~?"

"Everyone loves cute sweaters!" Mabel cheered.

Star poked Mabel's chest. "You're gonna make me one, right?"

"You'll get one first!" Mabel cheered just before the dance floor began to shake, but not in a good way. "Huh?"

The strange tremor was the only warning the club goers had before the center of the dance floor split open, sending almost everyone who had been on it scrambling for safety.

Star grabbed Mabel's hand and pulled her back, and Misao leaped into the arms of Arm Princess as the fissure widened, and a torrent of wailing souls came pouring from the chasm.

"Was ist das?!" Misao cried out.

Amidst the storm of souls, a winged demon wearing a loincloth ascended from the fissure, the yoke around his neck connected to chains hauling a wheelless carriage up through the fissure. Soon as the keel of the carriage was clear of the gap, it slowly closed to the mournful wailing of the departed trapped beneath it.

Seeing the carriage and the demon hoisting it, Star's face fell into a morose grimace.

Pony Head saw Star's expression. "Oh this is bad…"

Mabel and Misao looked at Pony Head and Star.

"What's going on?" Misao asked. "Who is that?"

"Who is behind this evil energy?" Mabel asked. "Is it a demonic warlord? A necromancer that hates ponies? A goblin incel?!"

Star sighed. "It's…"

The demon holding the carriage up, despite panting from the labor, cleared his voice and spoke in a loud and commanding manner. "Presenting: Prince Thomas Draconius Lucitor, and his companion, Lady Amirana Butterfly, the Duchess of Septarsis."

Stepping from the carriage came a young man with lilac-colored skin, salmon-colored hair with two horns, and three eyes red as fresh blood–the third set in his forehead centered above the other two. He was dressed in a nice but casual black suit, along with a violet tie, and black leather shoes.

He was accompanied by an attractive fair-skinned young woman who stood just below him in height, she sported long violet hair that cascaded in gentle curls down to her hips and styled in sweeping bangs that stopped above her turquoise-colored eyes. She wore a simple knee-length black evening gown, and high heels that she appeared awkward just standing in.

As her name implied, and both Misao and Mabel noticed, she had purple magnet-shaped marks on her cheeks.

Star slapped her hand to her face as she focused on the young man. "… My ex."


A/N: Oh it's Tom, hey Tom!