It was getting late and Alex hadn't showed. What had started as passing the time had devolved into a marathon of beer and shots.

"To be fair to you, you clean up well." I said, slurring the last few words, "for a pirate."

"I'm an officer of the Prowler Corps, thank you very much." Van Graff said, knocking back the last of his pint. "But I appreciate the compliment."

Jack laughed. He and Katya had joined us not long after we had arrived and were equally drunk as we spent a little time blowing off steam.

"It took Maddie four years to say anything nice to me" Katya joked.

"The Viper is every bit as cold as they said" Van Graff added, "I can't imagine that being nice comes easy to you, so thanks again."

My cheeks were flushed red with alcohol, "you guys need to watch it. You're way too comfortable with insulting me."

"It's the alcohol" Van Graff said, looking at me with a cheeky grin, "makes us bold."

"You can say that again." Jack added, sitting down with a fresh beer. "You think I'd have that kinda courage sober?"

I laughed, sipping gingerly with a shrug as they looked at me, waiting for some biting reply. I felt tired though, it was exhausting at times because I was acting for a living. So much of ONI relied on its intangible properties. Its agents were mysterious, its funds were a black hole, and its operations were so beyond normal comprehension that most conspiracy theorists would have a hard time swelling the truth.

And so much of it relies on the agents who perpetuate that conception of ONI. What would happen if that facade broke? What would happen if they knew the truth?

I sipped my drink and pushed the thought to the back of my head. I was in far too deep to question that now. ARC DREAM was our only hope and that meant that ONI was a necessary evil.

"Is it true you both have tattoos of your callsigns?" Ollie asked, leaning forward.

Katya nodded, "I had mine a long time before I was the wolf."

I nodded, "it was a gift to myself, for graduating."

"Are they the only ones you have?"

I nodded again, I've not really thought about more, to be honest."

"Any reason?" He asked, looking deep into my eyes. It was a personal question, which I wasn't used to, I realised as I searched my head for an answer.

"Didn't have the chance to do it, after it was finished, I went straight to Meridian…"

"Well, if you could get another, what would you have?" Jack asked, looking at Katya's collar bone, where a wolf lurked beneath her clothes.

"I don't know, something silly, perhaps. Or at the very least light hearted. I'm getting a little bored of all the grandiosity. Sometimes I wish things didn't have to mean much at all, you know?"

"So, we talking about getting a smiley face or something less mature?" Ollie asked, looking at my arms. I could see him trying to visualise what I might look like and found myself thankful that we'd been drinking as I felt my cheeks redden.

"Not sure I can do immature anymore" I sighed, knowing that I was never the type. "And anyway, this all reeks of a quarter life crisis."

"Nothin' wrong with that. Your mid-twenties are the best time for a reset. Don't be immature, be young, be independent." Ollie was speaking to all of us now, "I saw people settle down like they had to, I saw them make themselves miserable because they thought that this was it, you hit 22 and your life has been decided."

"Damn, Ollie, didn't realise you were so wise," Jack chuckled, "he's right, though. It's the best time of your life."

"Grim thought" I noted, "You two are so sentimental."

"Wise." They corrected, slurring the words.

"And anyway, didn't you live on a pirate ship? What kind of a pirate crewman settles down at 22?"

"Well life expectancy was low" he grinned, "probably was a bit on the later side for my crew."

There was a lull in the conversation, then. I watched as Katya nuzzled her head into Jack's neck. Jack looked at her and smiled softly, he cupped her chin and they kissed each other, the moment passed quickly but they looked at each other as though they'd spent a lifetime bathing in their eyes.

The mood changed from there, the rest of the evening was relaxed and quiet. Occasionally an officer from the bridge would join us for their break or a group of ensigns from the lower decks would take up a booth in the corner. There was a continuity about it that reminded me of the house parties I had back home. They were livelier; the metronome of human interaction, of comings and goings, of laughter and relaxation, they'd all ebb and flow like breathing or the tide.

Eventually, Mei joined us, her face weary and apologetic. "Alex was asleep so I didn't dare to wake him." She said, pulling a chair over the table.

"He's on the bridge now?" I asked.

Mei nodded, "he's not been sleeping."

Ollie scratched his beard, "is he okay?"

"He's just worried. Hard to blame him, really. He's spent a lot of time on Reach, it's a second home to most of us."

"Doubly so for people who have lost their own planets to the war." Jack added, "the one benefit of coming from earth, I suppose."

"What about Earth tax, though?" Mei asked, ordering a drink through the console at the table.

"Earth tax?" I asked, "What's that?"

"It's a joke, mostly." Jack replied, "it's a reference to the comments you get if you were born on Earth. I've been called everything from coloniser to jackboot. Mostly just 'cause Earth hasn't been hit yet."

"It's not exactly an irrational view, Earth does get special treatment" Katya shrugged.

"No, it's not; it's just that people see their homes wiped out while the Cole Protocol protects my home. Makes 'em mighty resentful at times… and who can blame them?"

"At this rate though, it's only a matter of time" Mei said, her voice low so that the ensigns in the booth couldn't hear her. "If they found Reach…"

I wanted to step in and tell them it would be fine but the truth was that I would have been lying. Everyone knew what the coming fight meant and I wasn't about to lie to them and say that it was all gonna be okay.

"So what? They found our colonies before" Ollie said, gulping down beer, "way I see it, no different to when they found harvest."

"We had a semblance of an empire then, though." Mei said, frowning. "And this is Reach. It's like they're in your second home."

"Yeah, they're hardly the same" I snorted, sipping my drink and leaning back in my chair. Outside the window, Reach looked peaceful and I spent a moment enjoying that. God knew that it wouldn't remain that way for long.

"Naw, humanity is more than its planets. It's the people who matter. If there are enough humans kicking about, then it's not over. I don't care if every planet is vapourised, I'm still gonna stick it to those freaks."

"Why? At that point, it's just out of spite. There's no hope for a future there."

"There's always hope, and even if there ain't, I'd still do it just to make em bleed. To make em hurt."

"Well, I'm all in on our little project." I glanced at the ensigns sitting away from us, just out of earshot, "If it goes down, I will have gone down with it. I don't see us coming back from a loss like that." I said, finishing my drink.

I expected that to induce a comatic silence, for everyone to shoot me sideways glares and painful smiles. I expected them to shoo the conversation away like a raccoon from the porch.

"Well, I'll just have to show you that you're wrong, Captain Harper." He said, smiling, "can't have our best asset thinking it's all over when the going gets bad."

"The going is bad." I said, bluntly pointing out the truth that everyone seemed to be avoiding. I turned to my friends in disbelief, "you guys know it, too. You don't think we can actually go on when Reach and Earth fall, do you?"

Katya shrugged, "my home brought me pain, but people restored my love for the worlds around us" she looked into Jack's eyes and smiled, "I would fight forever and I would do it for anyone of you."

Jack grinned, "I think Ollie is right, I've been fighting longer than all of you put together, it's been real bad for a real long time, Maddie. Here I am, still going."

"I just couldn't do it" I admitted, "the last thing I believe in, is this project. I'll do anything to keep our history, culture, and our people alive and prosperous. I will not allow humanity to go extinct without giving my life to secure a second chance. Do you think that Tuk would want to see that happen?"

"But Tukmen'tukhan is still alive, Maddie" Katya said, her hand softly touched my shoulder.

I shrugged it away and stood up, glaring at Ollie, who sunk back in his chair like a scolded child. They were wrong; they couldn't see it. Somehow, they had all deluded themselves.

No. ARC DREAM is the end of it for me. No dream, no Maddie.

And with that, I turned and left, leaving each of them to stew in their naivety.

}{}{

I spent much of the following day sweating out a hangover in the gym, downing gallons of water and scaring off the regulars with my death-glare. I pounded a three kilometre run to the tunes of my favourite music, letting the rising chorus' and drums kick my body into high gear and burst with energy.

Music had been important to me, once. Back when I was a teenager, who you liked and the lyrics you knew mattered. It mostly mattered because girls like myself would tease the ones who didn't know the latest releases. I'm not sure why I did it but maybe it was something to do with understanding… or a lack thereof. Afterall, why didn't everyone listen to as much music as me? Didn't it make them just as happy?

Nowadays, the gym was the only chance I ever had to listen and enjoy it. It was a sacrifice; one of many I'd had to make and it was one of the ones I wished hadn't happened the most.

That's why when Captain Van Graff poked his head into my field of vision, he frowned before smiling. He waved and I tutted loudly, pulling my headphones from my head and putting them on the floor beside me.

"I'm busy, Ollie, can't this wait?"

"No, Ma'am." He replied, "was just wantin' to apologise for making you leave last night. It weren't right that I was so insistent on you seeing where I was coming from."

I softened immediately, taken a little by surprise by the man, who had a nose for empathy like few others. "It's alright, it was childish of me to do. I might be okay with going all in but I shouldn't expect you all to go along with it just because I say so."

"There's a lot we don't say. It's our greatest failure as a species. If we had the courage to speak our minds and stand by our thoughts like you did last night, there'd have been less bloodshed in our history, that's for damned sure. In the end, we can't just go missing in the twilight hours of great moments, we pretend that we can't read between the lines because they're written in the scars that we carry throughout our lives. You, me…" he breathed deeply, his eyes dancing around my form like he'd seen the sky for the first time. "We see things and we say how we feel because that's the only way to confront it."

My mouth felt weak and dry, I swallowed an arid lump in my throat, "You seem to think you know a lot about me, Captain."

He shrugged, "I don't mean to overstep, darlin' I just think I understand how you feel. It's how I felt before I met your brother, actually."

I leaned forward, my interest sharpening my senses like a knife, "really?"

He smiled and rubbed the nape of his neck, "Yeah, all I wanted was to fly again. I wanted the solace and comfort that had brought me. Alex showed me that there's more to live for, even when almost no one has your back. He showed me what it means to have a family, people who rely on you, that sort of thing."

"I know people have my back, that's not my problem. I just don't believe this can work anymore, our military is in-"

"Forget the military" he said, offering me his hand, "forget logistics and firepower, forget everything ONI told you matters and remember where you came from and what you love."

There was a thumping in my chest. It was quiet, like a child's fists hammering against grass. It had woken at some point during Ollie's little speech. It was stupid and naive but it was also a breath-taking display of vulnerability from a man who seemed predisposed to hiding his emotions. I reached up and took his hand, letting him help me up. It was mostly out of courtesy, there were others in the gym, looking on with curiosity at the man who would confront the 'Viper' in such a bad mood.

"I'll tell you what I do remember," I confessed, "I remember the sickness starting young. I remember all the shitty things I did years before I ever joined ONI. I remember fistfights on the beach, cliques, kids poorer than me shifting drugs because they had nothing like the money me and mine had to fall back on. I remember running from the cops with them, wishing I could feel anything in my boring little suburban life. They'd round us up, knowing the rich ones, me and mine, would just do it all again next week. Free of consequence because my grandfather was an admiral, or because Ana's parents were spooks. We'd waste time, on lovers barely out the cradle and pretend like the break-up scarred. Embarrassment was currency and those boys who kicked Rory until he broke three ribs still keep me up sometimes. Anger like that lingers, you know? You all seem to think that I am a little fallen angel, that I was somehow this symbol of purity that ONI corrupted. It's bullshit. Back then, I was just too scared to hit back at those boys but the truth is that the only difference now is that I know I wouldn't lose that fight."

Ollie paused, looking past my eyes and into my soul. He gazed at the abyss in my heart, the harshness that rotted my ability to care and dragged me under the waves of despair that rocked my mind when I was alone. He went to speak and thought better of it.

Slowly, I nodded, glad that he'd accepted my truth.

"That's the thing about passion and anger" he said softly, "they're a helluva cocktail. They strip you like… like alcohol, I guess. Burns away the person and leaves you with nothing to offer but pain and the drive to do incredible feats of evil."

"You're ruining your apology"

"Just think about fighting for those who're still around, Maddie. Even when we all go, there will be more people, more souls as special and unique as ours. I grew up around a lotta different folks, the one thing you learn living in a collective is how individual humans can really be."

Silence. Stone cold silence filled the air, mixing with the passion that both of us spoke with. A thunderstorm of energy swirled the foot or so that now separated us. I blinked and stepped backwards, treading on my discarded headphones, splitting the plastic earmuff in half.

"Shit" I said, squatting to pick them up.

"I'll replace them" Ollie said, smiling, "my fault for interrupting your flow."

"These are expensive, I expect a good replacement" I laughed, half-heartedly.

"I might as well put my Captain's pay grade to use. I'll even a throw a drink in for good measure."

That made me smile, "alright, I think that'll do."

"A date, then."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Captain" I blushed, intrigued by the dynamism of the man. He was a contradiction, a bumpkin from an outer colony long forgotten but also the empathic son of a famous actor.

"Maybe best to get back to the job at hand for now" he replied, grinning, "Sara has more to say, I know she does. I think whatever her sister is up to, ONI isn't going to be a fan of."

I nodded in agreement and gathered my things. "So, what do we do? She knows who we work for."

"I thought about that" Ollie said, looking over his shoulder as he led me towards the door, "I think we use Halsey. If we imply that we aren't a fan, maybe make some stuff up about interbranch rivalry, she might open up."

"I like the idea more than the last one we came up with."

"Still bitter we called you prickly?"

"Of course, I fucking-" I stopped as Ollie laughed, his point made. "Let's just get on with it, shall we? We're wasting time."

}{}{

It had been a long four hours, but Ollie and I had finally started to convince Sara that Halsey was our real enemy, not her sister. At some point in the last thirty minutes, the Aegis Fate had accelerated to an intercept speed, which Ollie had used to imply combat. The urgency and pressure had left the girl visibly dreading the coming invasion. As usual, it was Ollie who made the breakthrough, he sat back as Sara's eyes darted between us both, her lips parted as if ready to speak.

"I know this is a risk for you, Sara, but you gotta believe we have her best interests at heart. We're building a team of the brightest minds in UNSC space to save human civilisation. I know that you and your sister couldn't turn that down, not when you have so much passion for your work and the lives you lead."

"The longer we wait, the less chance we have to find her, safe, Sara." I added, making my voice steely and cold but also quiet and close.

"I… um… I haven't seen her or know much more than the bare minimum. I wanted to keep her safe and she didn't want to drag me into her decision."

"Sara, we understand," I said, touching her hand. She recoiled at my touch and Ollie and I glanced at each other. Sara held her hand as though it had been stung for a moment and then relaxed, running the hand through her hair.

"Mikaela is a genius at coding, I don't know how she did it but she found out that the work she was doing was going straight into Halsey's pocket. When she found out, she took the master copy of the work and left. She would send data drops to my father periodically, she was still working on the research, I think."

"You think?" I asked, sitting back in the chair.

She nodded, "I was never clued into the details but yes, I think she believed in the project enough to help. That or she was causing mischief. Mikaela always did like to cause trouble."

Ollie smiled at that, "Do you know why Halsey put her off?"

"I can only guess at the kinds of trauma she still hasn't dealt with. I know she hated ONI for something and Halsey is about as 'ONI' as someone can get."

"So, when she contacted you, did she say where she went?"

Sara swallowed, "she was taken in by the militia, I think."

I inhaled sharply, "damn it."

Sara continued, "she spoke to me about two weeks ago, she wanted to know what I thought about a song."

"A song?" I blinked.

"Yeah" Sara smiled, "If you find her, you'll learn really quickly that she's a bit… old fashioned, in her music tastes. It was Skeletons, a song from the 21st century."

"She didn't say where she was?" I asked, trying to get back on track.

Sara had tears in her eyes.

Ollie glanced at me, shooting a disapproving glare in my direction. "What's the song about? Do you think there were hidden messages in there or was it… like a letter?"

"A letter?" She asked, tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

"A goodbye letter."

"N-no. Mikaela was always like this," she sniffed, "to everyone but me and my father, its cryptic and nonsensical; she wouldn't just up and vanish."

"Do you think it has any relevance to her whereabouts?"

"No, it's just a beautiful song. You should listen to it Captain."

I ignored the barb, "what makes you so sure?"

"Because I…" She took a deep breath to steady herself but her fingers began to drum on the table. "Because I know where she went, roughly."

"You do know the penalty for withholding the information, don't you?" I shook my head.

"I wasn't going to say anything to you ONI types but…" She stopped and wrung her hands, "I don't trust you. I just think you might keep her alive, Halsey and her SPARTANs, they might not be so kind."

"We just need to find out what she knows about her father's work. It could save a lotta lives." Ollie reassured her as leaned forward.

"I only know the last place she was hiding."

"That's fine."

"Viery. She was in the viery territory as recently as two weeks ago."

"That's not very specific," I groaned, sitting up, "surely there's more to it than that."

Sara nodded, "she's with the local militia."

I blinked.

"Fuck."

}{}{

Sirens wailed and the sailors rallied. The corridors were awash with activity as Ollie followed me through the maze of people towards the bridge.

"I don't understand what the problem is?" Ollie said, skipping to keep up.

"The militia on Reach is different, it survives under the nose of ONI and the UNSC. They're resourceful, uncompromising, and they hate ONI."

"So, they're difficult to find and" He laughed to himself, "everyone hates us anyways, what difference does it make?"

"The difference is that we won't find her. We might as well have no leads" I said finding Tuk in my helmet contact list, "message to Tuk: acquire all available data on the Viery Territory militia and related branches and affiliates."

"So maybe the invasion helps us out here." He said bumping into an ensign, "I mean, there ain't much that flush out rats faster than water, right?"

"A fair point but a rat in the open is vulnerable to being vaporised by plasma cannons." I said, scanning my hand to the bridge access panel. The doors shot open and we stepped inside as Mei called the ship to its battle stations.

"Looks like we got bigger fish, anyways." He said, nodding to the holotable.

It displayed two large corvette class covenant ships, one leaking reactor fluid and the other speeding beyond the other two thirds of battlegroup SUDAN.

"Crap. Alright, find Katya and Jack and get to the Winter."

"Aye, I'll get her warmed up." He said, bottling back the way he came.

I approached Alex, who stood with his arms folded. When he saw me, he smiled weakly.

"Grafton took flak to her starboard side, but steadied the line, put a MAC round through that retreating corvette."

"Their target is Sword Base."

"Most likely. We're reinforcing Grafton, with Savannah, back at Anchor 9 for repairs, there's obviously no one else. That other Corvette could already be assaulting the base if it deployed its forces prior to the engagement."

Aegis Fate broke the outer layers of the atmosphere and I watched it burn and singe the outer hull as it fought against the frigate. I placed my helmet on my head and polarised the visor: showtime, Maddie.

"Okay, good; stay out of trouble, though. That's an order. I won't lose this ship or you to the covenant. ARC DREAM can't afford that."

Alex nodded, "You better get going, Mads"

I touched his arm, "Alex, promise me."

He remained silent and tried to pull his arm away. I clutched it as though I was ten years old again, eyes desperate.

Still, he didn't move.

I swallowed. "An order, damn it."

He nodded, if only slightly. "Go." He said, his eyes holding their gaze.

I turned, taking a few steps before looking back. I met my brother's eyes and swallowed. He smiled, weakly.

As I fixed my helmet to my head, Tukmen'tukhan sent a message through to my HUD. It contained a lone file: an audio clip of that song Sara had mentioned. I made my way through the belly of the ship towards the hangar and wandered up the ramp of the Winter in silence.

I let it play, greeted by a haunting voice, a subtle marching beat and a hopeful synthesiser.

Love my name

Love left dry

Frost or flame

Skeleton me

Fall asleep

Spin the sky

Skeleton me

Love, don't cry

Love, don't cry

Love, don't cry

Skeleton me

Skeleton me

Soon comes rain

Dry your eyes

Frost or flame

Skeleton me

Fall asleep

Spin the sky

Skeleton me

Love, don't cry

Love, don't cry

Love, don't cry

Skeleton me

Skeleton me

Skeleton me

As the song ended, I felt a tear run down my cheek. Somewhere between the reference to Robert frost, the use of Skeleton as a verb and imagery about being stripped away and forgotten and moving on was me. I was stuck in that torrent for five minutes and I knew that I'd been taken somewhere faraway. It was like stepping back in time to my younger days, when the world was simple and everyone was still alive. I thought of Maggie, who would have been able to appreciate the song far better than I and the days I used to spend in the summer, lazing around in a sun dress, listening to my favourite music with nothing but my sister and a good book for company.

I sighed as the music faded and lifted off my helmet, sitting alone in the drop bay of the Winter as I wiped tears from my eyes.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this for."

I said it to myself but I realised that Tuk would have heard it. He remained silent out of respect but I figured that I'd just added another being to the list of people concerned for my mental state. Still, saying it aloud seemed to help lift the weight off my chest. I knew that another planetary campaign would mean more death and more heartbreak I just wished I knew where the reaper would strike next. I wish I knew who I was saying goodbye to.

Perhaps my number is up, finally.

It would have been a long time coming. Four planets, I had fought on and four disasters I had presided over, a veritable tapestry of failure, death, and destruction, it all clung to me like chains clamped tightly around my ankles.

Now, facing down another battle, I finally found my legs too tired to move out the way, I felt stuck, a moa in the headlights. The world around me seemed poised to punish me again, for trying to stand against the onslaught.

And it was all too much.

It used to be that I knew I could die at any moment. I doubted my skill. Now, I don't fear being overpowered or outplayed, or even the possibility that I catch a stray round to the skull. Now, I fear far grandiose things like total extinction and being the last survivor of Skopje. Afterall, there was only myself, Naomi, and Jack left from that original team that saved my life. There was Preston, of course, but he had been out of contact for years at this point. I turned a magnum over in my hands as I thought about how I'd felt the first time I'd seen him back on Skopje, the look on his face when he noticed who it was that was fighting him was something I had never forgotten.

Boots clanged on the deck and I looked up to see Katya standing with her arms folded.

"Sword is fighting off the covenant, Noble team are on the ground trying to see off the corvette that blew past SUDAN."

"Is it enough?" I asked, standing to face her.

"I don't know." She bit her lip, "in any case, Tukmen'tukhan helped me get a hold of this."

It was then that I noticed a dossier in her hand, she held it out to me and I took it flipping through the pages.

"These are personnel records?"

Katya came beside me, "yep, a lot of good recruits here."

"What's this section?"

"These are the files we found regarding inmates in the detention centre."

"Really?"

"ONI might consider them dangerous but we should at least look into these, we might need people who represent a little danger."

"Look, Kat, I trust you but Parangosky locks these people up for a reason-"

I blinked.

"What is it?"

"My brother's name is on this list." I tapped the name.

"Preston Thomas Harper, aged… 24. That's the right age, isn't it?"

I nodded.

"Did Tukmen'tukhan mention it?"

She shook her head and put her hand on my shoulder, "I'm sure he noticed it but he never mentioned it, it could be just a coincidence."

"That's possible. He also probably realised I would check out the detention centre regardless of the fact my brother might be there."

"Could it be him?"

I holstered the magnum, "only one way to find out."

"Coming up on Sword base, y'all ready?" Ollie asked, shouting through from the front of the ship.

Jack emerged, fully kitted out, he handed me an ODST SMG and approached the bay doors, lowering them. At once, cool air from the ice-shelf rushed into the cabin. It prickled my skin as a scene of chaos unfurled before me below. I steeled myself, hoping to God that if it really was him, that Preston was okay.