Disclaimer: The views and opinions in this story are not intended to be viewed as those of the author. The following is a fan-written fiction. Gravity Falls, Star vs. The Forces of Evil, Kim Possible, and Big Bad Beetleborgs are property of their respective owners, creators, and publishers. Please support the official releases.

TW: This story will contain references to physical and psychological abuse, murder, and torture.


|Onion Princess|

In spite of being tossed around by Marco and punched a few times during his strike demonstrations, Drew still felt better than he had over the last couple of days spent recovering from his injuries. The pain was still there, but it was far more manageable and didn't even hurt to laugh, although he was already tired from just the dojo and was looking forward to sleeping the afternoon off before sneaking out to the dance.

He wasn't going to miss what Roland had planned for the world.

It wouldn't be hard to, either. As he'd said to Marco, his parents would be going out and wouldn't be home until midnight. He'd be at the dance and back before they even thought of coming back from wherever they were going.

Thank goodness for weekly date nights to keep a sinking marriage above water. He thought sharply as he ambled down the sidewalk away from Hill-Trank Plaza, and towards home along the long uninterrupted quarter mile that ended at Zoom Comics in the opposite direction.

Out the corner of his eye, he noticed a car heading in the same direction he was, and his eyebrows lifted. A luxury SUV, a Mercedes Benz G-Class, or G-Wagen as it was better known, passed him by. The boxy SUV was painted a familiar shade of purple both cleaned and waxed spotless, gleaming in the noontime sun. In Los Angeles, luxury vehicles were not a rare sight, but one painted such a striking color could not be missed if it tried.

"… Wait a minute," he said aloud, "Is that…?"

The G-Wagen abruptly screeching from thirty miles an hour to a dead stop derailed his train of thought. Then, to his surprise its tires squealed as the SUV backed up the road it had just come down before coming to another halt right beside him.

He stared at his reflection in the blacked-out rear-passenger windows of the purple G-Wagen, agape in confusion, before the window rolled down. His unfinished question was answered, and his afternoon's randomness intensified as he met the perennial scowl of Brittney Wong.

"… Brittney?" He asked. Why was she being this extra to go out of her way to speak to him?

Brittney looked him over; he could not tell if she was grimacing in disgust or just being her usual self. "… Are you seriously walking around in public like that?"

That answered his question. "I beg your pardon?"

Rolling up to hurl insults at his appearance was more of a Vanderhoff move; was she reducing herself to this because she embarrassed herself last night?

"Is that how you're planning to show up at my dance?" She snapped at him.

"Yes? I'm not missing the dance because I got beat up." Drew was suddenly even more tired than he'd ever been before, and he turned to leave.

Instead of lashing out at him with a mocking remark at his expense to shore up her own illusion of self-worth, Brittney opened the door to the SUV. "Get in."

Drew stopped and turned back towards her. "… Huh?"

"I said get in," she commanded, "Unless you don't want to get fixed up."

Fixed up? "What?"

Brittney clapped her hands. "Chop-chop, I've got only a couple hours before I have to be at the school!"

Warily, Drew stepped closer to the open door as Brittney scooted back from it to make room for him. Looking further inside, he found she was not alone–the perpetually anxious Sabrina Backintosh leaned past Brittney to raise her hand in a meek, but friendly wave.

"H-hi, Andrew. Brittney's not going to do anything bad, I promise," she attempted to vouch for her Cheer Captain.

Sabrina was timid and quick to do almost anything Brittney said, and some people called her "Brittney's Pet" with the nicknames getting worse from there… but she was a genuinely nice person from what he knew about her. Slightly more curious about what the socialite wanted than concerned about what she could potentially do to him, Drew complied and climbed into the G-Wagen–the door automatically swinging shut behind him.

"Okay, what do you mean by 'fixed up?'" He asked her as she buckled herself into the middle of the G-Wagen's bench seat.

"Do you have a few hours?" The rich girl asked.

"I'm free all afternoon, why?"

Brittney nodded and patted the female driver up front on the shoulder, gesturing for her to go on. "Good; I'm taking you to my family's doctor."

Drew gave a start as the G-Wagen started moving, and buckled himself in. "Wait, what?"

"You heard me," she said, before gesturing at his face. "All of this? Unacceptable. I don't know why you haven't gone to a doctor yet, but you are not setting foot in my dance as a giant bruise–even if the colors do match."

Red joined the shades of purples on his face, though the collar of his sweater hid it. "Uh… I'd rather not talk to a doctor–"

"If you're worried about anybody asking questions, don't be. Whatever reason you got, they won't care and won't pry," Brittney assured him.

Drew opened his mouth to ask why Brittney was taking him to a doctor when he realized she had just explained herself. She was concerned about the dance and keeping up appearances. Instead of banning him, though, she decided that she was going to take him in for medical treatment.

"… Okay? But I can't afford somebody who can fix bruises on eighty percent of my body in five hours."

Brittney's eyes widened a little, while Sabrina covered her mouth in more expressed horror. Whatever passed for surprise with the former disappeared quickly, as she shook her head and huffed. "Don't worry about paying anything–and don't tell anybody I'm doing this for you."

Well, he needed to see a doctor, and maybe he could get some rest at whatever place she was taking him. Still… it came at the price of more ambiguous interactions with attractive girls.

Seriously, is this just happening because now that I'm a Beetleborg, I'm a main character? He thought, exasperated.


Before Drew knew it, he was in Beverly Hills, walking with Brittney and a slightly limping Sabrina to the front of a very expensive looking private medical practice that looked like the sort of place that a rich girl like Brittney would go to get some work done. A stylish, white marble building ringed with palm trees and straddled by a parking lot with more expensive cars than he'd seen in his entire life to this point. The polished glass doors of the building read "Hyuuga Medical Works," with the names of a half-dozen doctors listed beneath.

"… I shouldn't be surprised, but…" He looked at the millions of dollars' worth of cars parked out front. "Daaaamn."

Brittney grabbed his sleeve and pulled him inside. "Come on, and don't gawk!"

He looked around in amazement as they entered a lobby that was simultaneously sterile like any hospital, but comfortable and welcoming. To the left was a waiting area with its own cafe and seating for forty. Opulent patients sat at the tables, enjoying drinks served by cylinder-shaped automated waiters, while behind the counter a kindly older gentleman wearing a black apron over his white shirt and black slacks took orders from his clientele. On the other side of the lobby was a desk where nursing staff spoke with customers either checking in or leaving. Every so often, a foot-tall hologram projection of a doctor or nurse in the facility would appear on the desk, and speak directly to the incoming or outgoing patients.

"It's hard not to…" Drew said as Brittney hauled him to the front counter with Sabrina close behind.

A young, dark-haired male nurse who probably modeled as a side hustle, greeted them with a smile that could rival some of the cars outside in value. "Good afternoon, Miss Wong, bringing in Sabrina for her last treatment?"

Drew looked at Brittney, then at Sabrina, as the socialite replied. "Of course, but I need you to pencil in another one."

She brought Drew up to the counter to present him to the nurse and pulled down the collar of his shirt, revealing the extent of the bruising on his face. "He got beaten up the other day during that monster nonsense, and he's basically one big bruise."

"Uh…" The nurse blinked twice. "… Hey, have you been to a hospital for… any of that?"

Drew shook his head. "Um, no… it's not exactly something I can–"

The nurse got up, alarmed. "Are you in any pain?"

"I have been sore non-stop, but I'm not dying, no…"

The nurse looked at the hologram computer monitor between himself and Drew, then nodded. "Okay, yeah, we can get you into a Nano Recovery Chamber in five minutes."

It was Drew's turn to take a moment to process that. "A nano-what now?" He recognized the name and grew interested. "Wait, like… one of those Bacta Tank things?"

"Yes, you look like you need it… and probably a full diagnostic, jeez." The nurse began typing rapidly on a keyboard. "I'm just going to need some information and we can get you going. Your name?"

Drew awkwardly glanced around. "Uh… Andrew McCormick…"

"Age?" The nurse asked.

"Sixteen… but I'm turning seventeen, soon?" Drew replied.

"Address?"

"I'd rather not say." Drew quickly replied.

The nurse nodded. "Do you have a history of health concerns? Any allergies? Surgeries? Broken limbs?"

Drew shook his head. "Um, no… I've only ever been sick normally, and I've never even been at a hospital for more than a checkup."

"Do you want us to contact your family or–"

Drew cut him off. "Absolutely not."

Sabrina cast a concerned look at Brittney, who shrugged her shoulders dismissively. Reaching into her purse, Brittney pulled out a black credit card she slapped onto the desk. "Just put him in the tank and give him the works, and don't even think about billing him."

Looking at the card, the nurse nodded. "Of course, Miss Wong. Come on to the back and follow me to Nano Recovery Chamber Room Two… Dr. Korolev will see you there and run you through the process."

They passed through the waist-high door divider separating the lobby from the back, Drew curious at the name. "Dr. Korolev…"

Sabrina brightened and smiled at Drew. "She's nice and really smart. Sh-she'll take good care of you."

Brittney seemed less enthused but bit her tongue.

The nurse looked back at Sabrina. "Do you mind sharing room two with your friend here?"

Sabrina fidgeted. "I-I don't mind, no."

The back of the Hyuuga Medical Works resembled a hospital enough to reassure Drew that he wasn't in some Hollywood approximation of a doctor's office. Indeed, there were a few large rooms for examinations, and even some beds, but the place seemed like any other… until they passed through a set of reinforced doors into a very different facility. The hallway was less brightly lit, and on either side were four rooms in total that had blue circle-shaped double sliding doors with 01, 02, 03, and 04 labeled on each of them in white letters. At the end of the hall were a pair of large rectangular doors. This place looked more like a laboratory out of science fiction than a hospital.

"This is… pretty intense…" Drew said as they walked up to door 02.

"It's literally brand-new technology that was just made available a year ago," Brittney said. "It's so new that it'll be a while before it's cheap enough for everyone."

"If it ever is," Drew mumbled back.

The doors slid open, and Drew stared at the person standing on the other side. It was a doctor, or at least he hoped they were–they had on the white lab coat, stethoscope, and ID badge… but they were also dressed head to toe in a white, body-fitting suit with likewise-colored plates that reminded him of a stripped down Beetleborg armor. They also wore a helmet not unlike that used by motorcyclists–except the visor was as reflective as a mirror, and Drew could only see himself in it.

At the very least, the cat-ear like fixtures on the helmet made it look kind of cute.

"H-Hello Dr. Korolev," Sabrina greeted like it wasn't a big deal.

"Hello again, Sabrina." Through the helmet came a woman's voice filtered as though it came through a walkie-talkie. She sounded young, maybe close to his age, and spoke with a noticeable Slavic accent.

Brittney let out a hum and averted her eyes away from the doctor like she didn't want to look directly at her.

She turned her head to Drew and spoke. "Andrew McCormick, correct?" When he nodded, she did not sugarcoat a thing. "You look like shit; let's get you fixed up, okay? I am your doctor for today, Nikita Korolev."

Drew nodded in greeting. "Thank you, Doctor."

Brittney turned to leave to the front. "I'll be in the waiting room."

"See you later," Sabrina bade farewell to Brittney before she and Drew followed Dr. Korolev and the nurse inside.

The room was a mixture of both aesthetics Drew had seen to this point. It was painted white and had a welcoming size to it, but it was also lined with banks of computers, medical equipment and had two beds with examination equipment, and further back were what he presumed to be the Nano Recovery Chambers. They were tall, white-painted capsules that resembled large tanning beds or sensory deprivation chambers, inclined at a 45 degree angle against the wall. The chambers, along with everything else doubled up, were separated by a pair of white privacy shutters that could be pulled to obscure the view not only from each side, but from the door as well.

Dr. Korolev nodded to Sabrina. "You know the drill by now. Get ready and I will talk to you in a moment." As Sabrina went to the right side of the room and pulled her privacy shutter all the way around, the doctor led Drew to the examination table and patted on it, gesturing for him to take a seat.

"So, you are more bruise than boy, what happened?" Dr. Korolev asked as she went to his shutter and pulled it closed.

Drew looked back towards the shutter separating him from Sabrina then at Dr. Korolev. "Is this okay?"

Dr. Korolev nodded and then reached out to slap the shutter. There was no sound, impressing Drew. "It's soundproofed, no one can hear you."

With that reassurance, he went with the story he'd been working on since he first got home. "Wednesday, I was having lunch out of school, when I saw a blimp crash into the LA river. I went over to see if I could help, and while I was there… a monster attacked me."

Dr. Korolev's head tilted. "A monster?"

"Yes," Drew said, maintaining a straight face. "It threw me around for a bit, and I lost consciousness. When I woke up it was gone."

Dr. Korolev nodded. "I see; there were a number of monsters running around that day. I am shocked you were not killed, with how strong they seemed."

Drew shrugged his shoulders. "I guess I was nobody to it."

"I see," Dr. Korolev replied, "And you said that you have not sought treatment?"

"Not from a hospital, I've had first aid administered and I've been resting and taking painkillers for it."

"Why have you not?"

"There're people I don't want finding out about what happened. And it's also hard to believe, I guess…"

Dr. Korolev nodded again, slowly this time. "Even if I didn't believe you, I would not tell anyone. I am a doctor, and you are my patient. You have come to see me, and I will be discussing with you all matters pertaining to your health."

And for that, Drew was relieved. "Thanks."

"Now, then," the doctor paced towards the machine, and then turned to face him. "A few questions before we begin with the machine. Do you have any fear or anxiety related to enclosed spaces, water, or drowning?"

"… None more than an average person, I think."

"Have you been sedated before?"

"No, I have not."

"This treatment will require total immersion in a highly oxygenated fluid environment. While you will be able to breathe the liquid, for your comfort it is recommended that you wear a respirator mask for the duration of your procedure. You will be kept under close observation throughout, to ensure that if you experience any kind of duress, you will be promptly retrieved. Do you consent to being sedated to limit your movement and placed inside of the chamber?"

Drew looked at the chamber, back at the doctor, and then nodded. "Yeah, I can do that. I consent to the procedure, and I'll even put it in writing if you need me to."

Dr. Korolev's head moved in a brief nod. "Good, that is fine, then."

Drew looked at the tank again. "Hey… um… do I have to be naked for this?"

And suddenly it didn't matter the layers of apparent armor between him and the doctor. He could feel the intensity of her stare on him. "Hm?"

It grew a bit awkward, as Drew tried to articulate what he was concerned about without saying it: he did not want to be naked in a pod. "… Like… do I have to be, in order to soak in… the healing… juices?"

"Нет. You can leave your tighty-whiteys on. We even have swim trunks for you to wear," she said in an even drier tone than she already spoke. "No one here wants to see your shame unless they have to."

"I-I wear boxers!" Drew quickly corrected her at the mention of "shame."

Dr. Korolev let out a short chuckle that betrayed her own youth. "Good for you."

With that she pulled open the privacy shutter. "I will be back with technicians to get you fitted into the chamber and ready to go. Make yourself as comfortable as you like."

Pulling the shutter almost completely closed, Dr. Korolev left Drew to his own devices. He turned and faced the Nano Recovery Chamber and hummed as he walked up to the machine and its supporting equipment to examine it closely.

He had heard of these machines, and they really did sound like a Bacta tank straight out of Star Wars. Inside one of these a person's healing was accelerated without any ill-effects, and able to repair everything from burns to nerve damage with enough immersion through the power of nanomachines contained in the fluid Dr. Korolev mentioned. It was miraculous stuff, but the technology was so new and expensive that it would probably be a decade before there would be enough of it to benefit more than a few rich folks.

And the people they deign to be worth it. Drew looked in the direction Sabrina was, and another thought occurred to him. Why is she worth it, or me?


It did not take long for the front counter nurse and a pair of technicians to arrive with Dr. Korolev to help get Drew situated. Inside the chamber he went, down to a pair of swimming trunks, leaning back into the comfortable bedding where he was fitted with a respirator that adjusted to his face to form a perfect seal and began to fill with breathable air.

The two technicians were respectful and gentle, going out of their way to make sure he was comfortable as they attached various electrodes to his chest, limbs, and forehead to read his vitals. As they finished hooking him up to the machine, one of the technicians injected him with the sedative that acted quickly, sending a wave of calm and relaxation over him while not taking away his alertness.

Then the door was closed, and he was in darkness for only a moment before the black window became transparent–showing the room outside–and the chamber began to fill after three beeps. The fluid was fizzy, a pale blue green like he expected such a liquid to be, and very warm as it rose up to completely fill the tank. Instead of panic, however, he felt a sense of peace and comfort as the warm liquid fully immersed him, and his body began to tingle in a pleasant, but not too intrusive way–like he had every itch in the world and they were being gently scratched.

"Wow… this is…" Drew closed his eyes. "… Actually really nice. This thing is amazing."

"You utter fool, Ukrainian medicine is the best in the world," Dr. Korolev said through the intercom.

Drew opened his eyes and stared out at the doctor, who was watching his tank with folded arms. "Huh, you're a JoJo fan."

Outside the tank, he saw Dr. Korolev turned right side on to Drew and raised her hand to point at him, like an overly muscled Japanese High School delinquent calling him out. "Your next words are: 'That's a Jotaro pose, but you're quoting Joseph.' Now to you."

He stared blankly at her. "That's a Jotaro pose, but you're quoting Joseph." He stopped immediately. "Wait, huh?"

He wasn't even going with the bit, that just happened.

Okay, she was legit. "You said this was Ukrainian? I didn't know Ukraine had such medical technology."

"Of course we do," Dr. Korolev replied. "Why else would Russia invade us?"

Drew frowned. "Oh… I'm sorry."

Dr. Korolev waved it off. "Eh, you're in High School. What do you know about the world outside of what he said-she said, and who is kissing on who?"

He didn't even know that. "P-Pardon, but you don't sound that much older than me."

"Because I am not… I am smarter than you, though," she cheekily replied.

That was obvious. He was inside the chamber, and she was operating it. "Is um… everything okay? In your country, I mean."

"Eh, it's all right. The KGB Grandfather's polite young men are being eaten alive by a mean old witch, so my Ukraine is not licking his boot."

Drew thought that maybe he should start paying more attention to the news. "That's good, at least. Though I'm a little confused about the witch thing."

Dr. Korolev paused for a moment, before replying. "Do not worry too much about it. The witch is just a story the Russians made up to explain why they have not just taken over Crimea. They just suck."

Nodding, Drew rested his head back against the soft bedding of the chamber and began to breathe evenly and slowly. This really did feel amazing, like his whole body was shedding every injury he endured fighting Saberizer, and the bumps and bruises he'd gotten fighting the Magnavores beforehand.

The Stingerborg armor was strong enough to protect him, but there were still more than plenty of blows that he felt well enough through the armor that were sore afterward.

Misao's rich, right? He thought. Maybe she could pay for us to get treated here. I should bring it up with her.

On the screen, a call window popped up. Startled, he looked at the information and found it was coming from Sabrina in the other chamber.

Dr. Korolev noticed the call as well. "Ah, yes, the chambers have the ability to allow the users to make calls to other chambers, and even to the outside world. It seems that your friend wants to check up on you."

There was a lightness in her voice as she added, "If you need some privacy, I can turn off the audio and black out your chamber."

Drew pouted a bit. "She goes to the same school as me, there's nothing else going on there."

"Are you sure? You look so easy to ship," Dr. Korolev joked.

Now he was getting Janna vibes from her, and it annoyed him just a tad that he liked it. "I'm sorry, but I've got to take this call."

"да, да, very well," Dr. Korolev conceded.

As the light dimmed in the tank, Drew answered the call. "Sabrina?"

"He-hello Andrew…" Sabrina began hesitantly. "Can I call you Andrew? Or Drew? A-Andy?"

Drew shuddered. "Please, never call me Andy."

"O-okay, I'll just go with Drew. Are you okay in your tank? Is everything fine?"

"Yes, I'm fine," he replied. "It's very comfortable in here, what about you?"

"I'm doing fine, too. This is my last treatment for my injuries, so I'm actually going to miss it a little bit."

Drew knew what Sabrina was all about with her clumsiness, though, so she'd probably see this place again sooner than later. Because he wasn't a prick, however, he kept that assessment to himself. "The nurses said this was your last treatment, is this for everything that happened last Spirit Week?"

"Yes, Brittney has been taking me twice a week to get patched up so I can cheer again."

"And she's been paying for it?" Drew asked.

"Yeah, she paid for everyone else who got hurt during and after the game, too. It's kinda why she's mad at the football team for sucking, after…"

Drew did a double take. "Hold up… she paid for everyone's medical treatments? Even the Silver Hill Warriors?"

"Yes, but don't tell anyone she did, okay?"

He was flummoxed by the revelation. "Why not? If people knew she's willing to shell out money for medical bills, people wouldn't think she was… you know…"

"I think the reason is she doesn't want people coming up to her for stuff, or trying to take advantage of her," Sabrina surmised. "She already does enough for everyone."

Drew huffed. "She does enough for some people."

He could hear Sabrina wince over the line and continued. "… That makes me curious why she hangs out with you."

"… Wh-what?" Sabrina asked.

"You don't seem like the person Brittney would want on her Cheer Squad, let alone just hang out with. I heard you really freaked out when Brittney gave you an invitation to her birthday party… but also that she threw a gift you gave her in your face for not being designer?"

Heather had given him those details of Brittney's birthday party. Brittney's behavior personally disgusted and made her regret being there, until Star made everything cool and dangerous.

There were a few moments before Sabrina sighed. "I'm… not going to make excuses for Brittney, she's… um… she's a lot more like Star than she would ever want to admit. She can be really blunt, and thoughtless, too… but the main reason she hangs out with me is because I wanted to be a cheerleader."

"… Okay?" Drew needed more elaboration.

"It's weird, right? I-I'm really clumsy, and scared of heights, and nervous around crowds, so I'm really hesitant to do things like cheerleading, because that's all of those fears rolled up into a lot of stress and expectations."

"Yeah," he knew what those fears were like.

"But I always wanted to be a cheerleader, because if I could do it, then I'd be able to overcome how anxious I am. And even though Brittney is… Brittney, she respects that I'm trying to be better."

Drew thought about Brittney's eruption during the game yesterday and sighed. "I don't understand her."

He looked down at himself, healing in a medical supertechnology miracle, all on Brittney's dime–but only because she wanted him to be perfect for her dance. He thought about Jackie's stinging accusation of Brittney picking and choosing who got to have good memories of high school, and who didn't.

Then the other accusation came to recollection, that Brittney was jealous of Star.

Drew sighed again. "It surprises me that she doesn't get why people just flock to Star even when she does stupid stuff with her magic. Until today, I thought Brittney was just another spoiled brat like Trip and Van–using her money to get her way and intimidate anyone in it."

Another silence followed, before Sabrina agreed. "… Yeah."

"Keeping it a secret that she's actually nice isn't going to make the people she doesn't like based on her arbitrary standards appreciate her. They all live in her shadow, resenting her, and one day they won't care if she even made the sun rise for them–all they'll ever have is what she did to them."

There was another long silence, where he could hear Sabrina fidgeting while she wrestled with what he said.

"… You're right," she admitted. "It's been pretty bad this week; more and more people are just kinda… done with her."

He went back to Jackie, and her very public denouncement of Brittney and her Spirit Week celebration. How many people were even going, now? He was, regardless of anything else–even if only him, Roland, Mabel, Misao, and Janna showed up.

"Can I ask you something?"

Sabrina's voice seemed to perk up at his question. "Y-yes?"

"You've been in Brittney's clique since Freshman Year, right?"

Now she sounded disappointed. "… Yeah…"

"For all that she respects in people bettering themselves… do you think she can learn to be better, or does she already think she's perfect?"

"Oh… uh…" Sabrina needed another few moments to think about that one. "… Yes, I think she can learn. If Brittney can believe a clumsy idiot like me can improve… then I have faith in her to learn from this and be a better person."

Drew shut his eyes and nodded. "Okay, then I'll have faith in her better side, too."

He could hear her relief. "… Thank you. And um…" She paused, struggling with what she wanted to say, before she gave up with a sigh. "I'll talk to you when we're all done, I guess."

"Until then," Drew said, and the call ended.

Taking a deep breath through the respirator, Drew let his head sink into the rest behind it and closed his eyes. In the comforting, liquid environment of the chamber, time began to slip from him as he was left to his own thoughts. Sabrina came to mind, followed by Brittney, Janna, his father, Jo and her isolation, Roland and his prank, Heather, Janna, more Heather, Janna, Heather and Janna, Sabrina again, Misao, Mabel, Dipper and Mabel, Star and Marco, all of them fighting the Magnavores, Roland and Jo, the Beetleborgs, the Magnavores, Jara, Saberizer…

His thoughts lingered upon Saberizer.

The first monster he ever defeated.

The Scabs don't count. A stiff breeze could defeat a Scab.

Saberizer was an actual Monster. An actual Magnavore… right?

Was he a Magnavore, or just a mercenary under Jara?

Was he even a monster?

The comics were never clear on the Mercenary Army of Jara. She was a Magnavore, and proud of her affiliation… but none of her Mercenary Warriors ever declared themselves Magnavores.

Actually… none of her Mercenaries were proud to be employed by her, either. They were just mercenaries, hired guns or blades to do the Magnavores' dirty work. It was how Art Fortunes illustrated how evil Jara was–she had no one loyal to her, only to the money and power she promised.

They were disposable and replaceable. A hundred could die and they meant nothing to her. Their only real value was in absorbing the blame for her failure when she had to explain herself to Vexor.

Saberizer's apology for failing Jara, her blood-curdling scream of his name, the overwhelming wrath that she unleashed that made her an easy target when normally she could handle herself with ease…

She cared for him. He was someone important to her.

That was something he didn't like to think about.

The Magnavores.

Jara, and both Noxic and Typhus…

They were all so… human.

He really didn't like to think about that.

But maybe… them being so human could be… useful?

Beeping interrupted his flow of thought, and he could feel the pull of the chamber's fluid draining from the machine. His mind felt sluggish for a moment as his thoughts slowed down… or maybe the world sped up. In all his mental wandering, the passage of time slipped completely in his experience. It suddenly felt like it had been just a few minutes and a few days all at once.

"… Huh… that's weird…" He muttered.

Dr. Korolev's voice reached him, the first it felt like in ages. "Some patients report an effect similar to being inside of a sensory deprivation tank. Brain relaxation, streams of consciousness, and sometimes even visual and auditory hallucinations."

Drew looked up at the doctor, feeling her within his presence outside the chamber before laying eyes on her. He blinked as he stared at her faceless helmet.

"Basically, your mind tricks itself into thinking it's on LSD. Quite a trip, да?"

He blinked once. "Your voice is pretty."

Dr. Korolev went still, before she turned and walked away, laughing. "We'll be letting you out now, вродливий чоловік, you're all done."

The chamber opened and the technicians moved in to disconnect him. As soon as he was out of the chamber, he looked down at himself and was amazed to find that she was right. The cuts, the contusions, the scrapes… all of his injuries were gone. His body was completely unmarred, and his soreness vanished. "… What the…?"

On his own, with his strength returned, Drew stood up and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, then jumped in place several times. "… Ha… haha! Wow, it actually worked!"

A look in the mirror after he washed off the remaining solution confirmed it. He was completely healed and felt like he was in the best shape of his life.

"Supertechnology is incredible," he said as he finally left the room, back in his clothes again.

"And one day it will be available for everyone," Dr. Korolev said as she stepped out into the hallway with him. "Sooner than later, I hope."

Drew nodded to her, and then turned to find Brittney waiting with her arms folded. "Oh, um… thank you, Brittney."

Brittney shrugged her shoulders, like she'd done nothing at all. "You're welcome."

Dr. Korolev turned her head towards Brittney. Drew could almost feel her looking back and forth between him and her before she let out a "Ha."

Brittney shot the fully-suited doctor a look. "What?"

"Just admiring your taste," Dr. Korolev teased.

Brittney's scowl deepened, but once more Drew just couldn't tell how significant her expression was. She really needed to do something about that.

He turned to ask the doctor. "… I'm almost afraid to ask, but how much does this whole procedure cost?"

Dr. Korolev regarded him. "Do you want the real answer?"

Drew nodded.

"Your procedure, for example. Your three hours in the pot cost Miss Wong here 300,000 dollars."

He looked back at Brittney in disbelief. She once more shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal.

"Don't worry about it." She checked her time on her phone. "I still have two hours. Do you need a suit or anything for the dance?"

Drew shook his head. "No, I already have a suit I'm going to wear."

Brittney narrowed her eyes at him some. "It'd better look good."

"Well, if you can buy me one that does to be sure, I'm still free for the rest of the day."

He was bluffing, but Brittney looked him up and down and called it. "That works; let's go."

Drew opened his mouth to retract his request, but he stopped himself. He was getting a free suit and was staying away from home for a few hours more. Why would he look the gift horse in the mouth now?

He heard a digitized chuckle behind him and looked back, Dr. Korolev had strolled off back into the room he'd just left, waving at them as she went.

With an awkward wave of his own, he turned and followed Brittney back up to the front and the waiting room–where Sabrina was sipping an extremely colorful fruit cocktail she'd gotten from the café. When she saw them, she got up and joined them.

"You look good as new, isn't it amazing?" She asked.

Drew nodded. "Yeah, it really is."

Sabrina managed a shy smile and began to sip from her drink, when Brittney looked back and forth between them. "Okay, before we go anywhere else today?" She looked at Sabrina. "Do it."

Nearly spitting her drink out, Sabrina looked at Brittney with an ashen face that slowly regained its color then greatly overcompensated as she looked at Drew, becoming a soldi red as she began fidgeting up a storm. Releasing her straw, she gulped and began to stammer. "Uh… um… D-Drew…? C-can… w-would…?"

Drew looked back and forth between Brittney and Sabrina who was starting to fall apart as she struggled through her question.

"I don't have to tell you to grow some pom-poms, I know you got a pair! Ask him!" Brittney snapped harshly at her.

With that rough encouragement, Sabrina pulled herself with a deep breath and spat it out. "Will you accompany me to the dance?!"

Drew stood there, dumbfounded even as he expected it–because no girl had ever asked him to dance. And honestly, Sabrina Backintosh was probably the last girl in the world he'd ever expect to be the first one ever to.

"Um… yeah? That sounds nice," he replied. After their conversation they just had and gaining a good insight of Sabrina in addition to Brittney… going to a dumb school dance wasn't so bad.

All the tension that built up in Sabrina in that instant poured out of her all at once. She looked ready to fall over in her relief, but Brittney caught her shoulder, and removed her drink from hand in the same motion. Recovered, she turned back to him. "Thank you, I promise it'll be fun!"

"Yeah, whatever, this just means I can get you something that goes with her dress," Brittney looked Drew over again. "Blue, something blue… maybe dark blue or navy. We'll see when we get there."

She let go and walked to the door, taking a sip of Sabrina's drink as she did. "Come on, you two! Daylight's burning!"

Drew started walking but did not expect Sabrina to abruptly grab his arm and nervously move closer to him. Looking at her in surprise, she looked up at him, already halfway between excitement and anxiety. He managed to smile back and walked out the door with her after Brittney.

Just roll with it, Drew, and hope Janna doesn't poke you for it later he thought.

Who was he kidding again? She was totally going to.


Such is the life of the main character, Mr. McCormick, there are layers to this whole thing.