Gai in Crisis
Theme: Humor/Comedy
Rating: General
The jounin teachers (picked through draw lots)—Kakashi, Gai, and Asuma—were somehow roped into chaperoning Iruka's class of energetic students on a tour of the Konoha hospital. Everything's going fine until Gai gets separated from the group and finds himself in an observation room along with other medical students. The Green Beast of Konoha wasn't quite prepared for what he saw, and when he finally rejoins his comrades, Kakashi is quick to notice something was off. What follows is a hilarious exchange as Gai struggles with his newfound trauma while Kakashi remains as nonchalant as ever.
One day in the bustling hallways of Konoha's hospital...
The sounds of chatter, rolling gurneys, and beeping medical equipment filled the air as Iruka led his class on a "how the hospital works" tour. Kakashi, Gai, and Asuma were meant to provide extra hands (and eyes) to keep the kids in line… but things, as expected, go a bit awry.
Gai blinked rapidly, his usually bright and animated expression looking strangely vacant. He shuffled down the hallway with the rest of the group, but there was something about his gait that seemed off, like he was walking on shaky legs.
Kakashi, hands in his pockets, strolled alongside him. "You okay there, Gai?"
Gai's eyes darted to Kakashi's face, then quickly away, as though he'd seen something far too intense to ever fully recover from. "I'm fine," he said, though his voice came out oddly strangled, almost a whisper.
Kakashi's visible eye squinted with mild amusement. "You sure? Because you look like you're going to faint."
"I AM NOT GOING TO FAINT!" Gai shot back, his usual vigor kicking in for a split second. "I'm a proud shinobi, a master of youth! Fainting is for—"
He wobbled dangerously on his feet, his knees buckling slightly.
Kakashi sighed. "Uh-huh. You might wanna take a seat."
"I'm fine," Gai muttered, blinking rapidly again. "Everything's... fine. I've faced far worse than this. The heat of battle, the struggles of—"
"You sure?" Kakashi interrupted, lazily glancing at Gai's pale face. "Because... you look like you're about to hit the floor."
Gai took in a deep breath, then exhaled shakily. "Kakashi, my eternal rival, there are some things... some experiences... that change a man."
Kakashi tilted his head, genuinely intrigued now. "Oh?"
Gai's eyes darted around the hospital hallway, as if he was making sure no one could overhear. "I... I took a wrong turn and ended up in a... viewing room."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow, but before he could ask more, Gai continued, voice dropping to a dramatic whisper.
"They were... watching... a birth, Kakashi."
For the first time in a long while, Kakashi blinked, genuinely surprised. "You walked into an observation room where a birth was happening?"
Gai nodded, his face now looking paler than ever. "I have witnessed the most intense battles... but nothing—NOTHING—prepared me for that."
Asuma, overhearing the conversation, walked up behind them with a grin. "Oh man, you walked in on a delivery? That's rough, buddy."
Gai gave him a tortured look. "There were... screams. BLOOD. And then... the baby."
Asuma chuckled. "Ah, the miracle of life."
"It was horrifying," Gai whispered, sounding like a man who had just returned from war.
Kakashi stared at him, eyes sparkling with amusement. "Gai... you're a Jounin. You've fought dangerous enemies, faced certain death, seen your comrades fall in battle... and this is what's rattling you?"
Gai's face twitched. "I thought I was prepared for anything. But Kakashi, that was different." His voice dropped to a whisper again. "I thought the baby was going to tear through the walls."
Kakashi snorted behind his mask, trying to stifle a laugh. "So... you're telling me childbirth is what finally broke the Great Green Beast of Konoha?"
Gai shot him a wounded look. "IT'S NO LAUGHING MATTER! THAT WOMAN HAD STRENGTH GREATER THAN A HUNDRED SHINOBI!"
Before Kakashi could respond, Gai swayed again, clearly struggling to stay upright. His eyes went wide, and he muttered, "You... you might want to catch me."
Kakashi considered it. "Nah," he replied casually, stepping aside as Gai's legs gave out completely.
And down Gai went, hitting the floor with a loud thud.
Asuma doubled over laughing, wiping a tear from his eye. "He actually fainted!"
Kakashi just shrugged, peering down at Gai's prone form. "Well, at least he doesn't have to worry about witnessing another birth from down there."
Before anyone could react further, Iruka appeared at the end of the hallway with a concerned look on his face. "Hey, have you seen—oh no, what happened to Gai-sensei?"
Kakashi waved a hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. He's just emotionally compromised."
Iruka looked confused but nodded slowly. "Uh... okay. Anyway, the kids are asking if they can visit the recovery ward."
Kakashi's eye crinkled in amusement. "Sure. Let's take them there. Maybe Gai will recover enough to join us... once he wakes up."
Asuma snickered as they began walking away, leaving Gai sprawled on the floor. "You really just let him fall, huh?"
Kakashi chuckled, hands still in his pockets. "Hey, I'm not a medical ninja. Catching people isn't my specialty."
END
A/N: Another Kakashi-Gai oneshot! Hope you liked it! XD
