You've made it to Saturday, your favourite day of the week. You have the day all planned out, first go to see your mum, get her shopping, then come back to your apartment – which is already clean, you're very proud of yourself – and wait for Kim to arrive. Then you're going to spend the whole weekend hugging and kissing him, and oh, probably looking for apartments too.
You're about to head out of the door when you're sure you hear the engine of a Coupris 40. Despite Kim's initial dislike for the motor carriage, you've both grown used to it now. You don't think any of your neighbours own an MC, so someone else must have a visitor who drives one. What a coincidence!
When you exit through the main door, you see Kim stepping out of his blue model 40. "You're early!" you say.
"Yes," he says, taking his bag out of the MC. "Sorry, have I ruined your plans?"
"No, not at all," you say, holding the door open for him and following him back inside. "I was just going to visit my mum, but you can come with me. If you want to, of course."
Kim looks unsure. "Yes, I'd like to meet her. If you think this is a good time to do that."
You think about this as you unlock your apartment door. Kim follows you inside and puts down his bag, then clasps his hands together, waiting for you.
You look down at your hands. "My mum… she doesn't know about us. That we're together, I mean. I tried to tell her, but it was too hard, Kim!"
"It's okay, Harry. I'm sure I would have the same difficulty, if my parents were still around."
"Oh god, I'm so sorry Kim, you must think I'm such an asshole."
Kim shakes his head. "You can tell her in your own time. Don't feel pressured to do it on my account," he says. He adjusts his glasses. "Do you still want me to meet her?"
You nod. "She's old. I don't know how long…" You trail off.
Kim puts a hand on your shoulder. "I understand," he says.
You move closer to him and put your arms around him. He holds you tightly, and pats you on the back.
"So, are you ready to go?" he asks.
You nod and wipe your nose on the back of your hand.
"Want me to drive?" Kim asks when you're back outside.
"I'm not sure you want to take your MC to that neighbourhood," you say.
"Oh."
"Besides, it's not far on foot, and I could use the walk," you say, pointing to your leg. It isn't feeling too bad today, but you're still conscious of it tensing up.
Kim nods and lets you take the lead.
You feel a bit sick as you knock on your mother's apartment door and wait for her to answer. You're not sure what to say to her. It's not a big deal, just introducing the two people you love most in the world to each other. Yeah, not like it could go terribly and make both of them hate you. It takes a while for your mum to come to the door. Kim senses your apprehension, and gives you a sympathetic look.
"Hey mum," you say when she opens the door.
"Oh, Harrier, hello," she says, and then looks at Kim. "And who's this?"
"Mum, this is my partner from work. Remember? I told you about him." At least you tried.
"Kim Kitsuragi," he says, holding out a hand towards her. "Nice to meet you, Mrs Du Bois."
Your mother takes his hand and giggles. "Aren't you a charmer?" she says. "Please, call me Rita."
It occurs to you that all this time you didn't remember your mother's name. Not like you really needed to know. She's mum to you. Suddenly you remember that your dad was called Henrik, although he sometimes went by Harry too. Maybe that's why your mum calls you by your full name.
"Nice to meet you, Rita. Harry has told me all about you," Kim says.
She smiles. "Harrier didn't tell me he has such a handsome colleague," she says, finally letting go of Kim's hand.
You grin, and Kim raises a fist to his mouth and clears his throat.
"And what do you teach at the school?"
"Motor vehicle maintenance," Kim says without missing a beat.
"Oh, what things they teach the children these days. How wonderful!"
You're suddenly aware of how long you've spent standing in the doorway. "Do you have your shopping list, mum?"
Your mother frowns, thinking for a moment. "Oh, yes, I think I have it somewhere," she says, and disappears for some time before returning with it.
There isn't much on the list this week. "Do you not need any milk or bread?" you ask.
"Oh, yes I do. Did I not write it on?"
"It's okay, we'll get you some. Is there anything else you need?"
Your mum looks thoughtful again. "I don't think so, dear."
"Okay, we'll be back soon."
She smiles and waves, and you notice she gives Kim an extra big smile.
"Thanks, Kim," you say when you're outside.
"What for?"
"My mum is…" you begin, and you realise you're not even sure what your mum is. "She's a bit confused. Like I was. Like I… still am. It's not the same, but…"
"I think I understand," he says.
"She thinks I still work at the school. It's easier when I don't correct her. I think that upsets her sometimes."
"Then I will do my best not to upset her either."
"I think she likes you."
"Oh? I hadn't noticed," he says with a slight smile.
It's much quicker getting the groceries with Kim there to help you. On the way back, Kim points out a sign saying there are apartments to let on another building near to your mother's place.
"I also have a list of others we have encountered," Kim says when he sees your reaction. "I will add this one to the list, just in case."
You feel your shoulders slump down. "I had hoped we would find somewhere better than where I live now, not worse."
"Don't give up hope so soon. We haven't even started looking properly yet. I called and arranged some viewings this afternoon and tomorrow. That's why I arrived so early."
"Oh, I thought that was because you couldn't wait to see me."
Kim adjusts his glasses and smiles. "Well yes, that as well."
You help your mum put her groceries away, and when you get back into the living room, Kim is looking at the photos on the wall. There are only two, one of your father in uniform, and another of the three of you when you were a young child.
"Our Henrik has been gone for many years now," your mum says.
"I'm terribly sorry for your loss. To both of you," Kim says.
You don't remember your father at all, but you do feel his absence.
Your mother invites you both to sit down and starts to tell you fragmented stories about your father, and about you when you were young. After a while, you go to make tea, and come back to find her and Kim laughing together.
The whole time you're bracing for your mother to mention her, and she eventually does, commenting that she would love a picture of you and Dora to put on the wall. Your stomach twists as you nod and change the subject. You want to tell her about you and Kim, but it seems so huge and scary. What if she reacts badly? What if she gets so upset it makes her ill? You don't want her to push you away. And you don't want Kim to be there when you tell her. Just in case. He shouldn't have to deal with it if she reacts badly, it's not fair.
Your mum gives you a goodbye hug, and Kim offers her his hand, but she insists on giving him a hug too.
You have a lot of mixed feeling about Kim meeting your mother, and you're not even sure how to put them into words. Kim seems to see that, and doesn't say anything, just puts a hand on your arm and squeezes it gently.
The morning is almost over by the time you get back to your apartment, and Kim drives you out to the first apartment viewing early so you can walk around the area a little first. It looks like a well-kept apartment block on a quiet street. You're impressed by Kim's choice, but you can't help but feel like it might be a little too nice for you. You feel bad about thinking that. Kim deserves the best of course, but nice often means expensive.
The real estate agent isn't the same one you met in Martinaise, but he has a similarly deranged smile and is wearing a loud geometric print blazer which you certainly wouldn't leave behind if you found lying on the ground. "Hi, I'm Todd Winchester. Now which one of you is Kim?" he asks.
"That's me. And this is Harry," Kim says.
"Good to meet you Kim, and you too Harry," he says, giving you both firm handshakes. He points a finger and wavers it between the two of you. "And what are you two?"
There's a moment where neither of you reply. Is he asking if you're part of the homo-sexual underground? Why would someone ask that the moment they meet you? Is it really obvious? You feel sweat forming on the back of your neck, and exchange a glance with Kim. He gives you a tiny shake of his head.
"Friends," you say.
"Colleagues," Kim says at the same time, then adds, "We're both."
"I see. Fantastic, fantastic. Well why don't you fellas follow me and we'll take a look around the first apartment."
The two of you follow Todd into the apartment building. It's as pristine on the inside as it is on the outside. You're getting your hopes up by the time the real estate agent is unlocking the apartment door. Then you see how small it is. Much smaller than your apartment, and even that is way too small for two people.
"I wasn't aware there was only one room," Kim says.
"It's a very large studio for the area," Todd says. "And if you need privacy, you can put up a curtain or a room divider, the landlord wouldn't mind."
Kim looks at you.
"It's nice, but it's too small," you say.
"How about you take a look in the bathroom and the closet before your make up your minds?" Todd says, clutching at straws.
Kim takes out his notebook, flips to the back of it and makes a note. "I don't think that will change our minds," he says. "Let's move onto the next place."
Todd offers to drive you between apartments in his motor carriage, but Kim declines and says he will follow in his.
The next apartment you look at is still small, but has two bedrooms. But the rental price is pushing what the two of you together could afford, and then the real estate agent starts talking about other fees and that pushes it firmly out of your price range.
Kim follows Todd in his MC to another area, this one looks less bourgeois, so that hopefully means it is more affordable. But the apartments he shows you round with equal enthusiasm are all terrible in their own ways, damp, run down, in poor repair. They're in your price range and all have at least one bedroom, but you and Kim agree that it isn't time to settle just yet. Todd tries to sway you by warning you they won't stay empty for long, and you might have been convinced to rethink it, but Kim puts his foot down.
"They're all liars," Kim says as you get back in his MC.
"I know that, but what if he's right? What if there isn't anywhere better and we miss out?"
Kim shakes his head and starts the engine. "That's what they want you to think to fool you into paying too much for a somewhere that isn't fit for habitation."
You nod. He's right. "His jacket was pretty disco though," you say.
Kim smiles.
You have more viewings for tomorrow. You try to hold out hope that at least one of those will be better than what you saw today.
You're both tired when you get home, and neither of you have eaten all day. You get to impress Kim by taking a big pot of soup that you made yesterday out of the fridge and heating it up.
You decide to bring up something that has been on your mind while you pour the soup into bowls. "You didn't mind me telling that guy we were friends, did you?"
Kim shakes his head. "I said we were colleagues only because I thought it would make us sound like better and more professional tenants."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to undermine you," you say, staring down into the soup.
"It bothers you, doesn't it?"
You shake your head. "No, it's for the best," you say, but Kim is staring at you like he doesn't believe you, and you can't continue pretending. "Okay, yeah, it does. I don't want to lie to people about us."
Kim smiles and steps closer to you, laying a hand on your back. "If the world was a more accepting place, I would like to tell everybody about us too," he says. "But it isn't a lie to tell people we are friends, or colleagues, we are those things too." He stands on his toes to kiss you. You kiss him back, and feel much better. "Now come on, let's eat."
