(A/N)- This one is just... soft. You'll see. I loved writing it.
A couple obvious AU changes here and there, you'll know 'em when you see 'em.
Disclaimer: Haaaaaa, nope not me. Boy the money I would have if I owned Star Wars. I need another job, seriously, this one is murdering me.
Day 2: Secrets
I need another story
Something to get off my chest
My life gets kinda boring
Need something that I can confess
-"Secrets" by One Republic
"You really don't have to walk me," Sabine insisted. "I do remember the way to my own room."
"When will you be departing?" her mother asked, walking primly as she escorted Sabine, over the girl's protests, to the back wing of the Wren stronghold.
"Soon, I think." Sabine shook her head. "I don't know exactly when. Kanan would have a better answer for you, honestly." She tried to walk a little faster than her mother, hoping to reach the sanctuary of her room quickly, but the older woman matched her pace with very little effort. Slightly frustrated, Sabine looked aside at her. "Why do you ask?"
Ursa let a thin-lipped smile grace her face. "You might call it selfish but I had hoped you would stay for a while, enough to get your father settled back in at least."
Sabine bit her lip, then faced forward again. It was a tempting proposition, finally having her family intact, all together in the house once more, and letting herself enjoy it for a while.
Unfortunately her family were all very perceptive, and the longer she, Ezra, Kanan, and Chopper stayed there, the more likely it was that they would pick up on certain... things that Sabine would rather not talk about.
"I don't think it's my call," she deflected. "You really should be talking to Kanan about this," she insisted. "He's the one who's in contact with the Rebel Alliance."
"Perhaps I shall," Ursa mused.
Sabine shuddered with relief as her door came into view. She pushed past her mother to press the control.
"I think I'll just turn in for the night, if that's okay," she said. She tried to retreat into the room.
"Sabine?"
Simmering, Sabine swung back around, leaning hands against both sides of the doorframe to bar her mother's way into her private chambers.
"Yes?" she asked, hoping her smile didn't look too strained.
Ursa eyes were unexpectedly shimmering. "I was very proud of you today. You stood your ground and showed everyone you were a true Mandalorian." The woman fidgeted a moment on her feet. "I know I haven't always shown it but... I am so very glad to have you as my daughter."
Abruptly, she flung arms around Sabine and hugged her tight.
Sabine's face twisted as her mind screamed. This was a wonderful moment, words she'd always wanted to hear, the kind of physical affection her mother rarely gave out... and it had the most inconvenient timing. Sabine tried to turn her head, her eyes straining back, flashing towards her locked window and the gently falling snow outside.
Cursing inside her head, she lifted her arms for an embrace back, hoping for a quick release after that but her mother kept holding on to her, clinging, grip a bit painful.
"Mother please..." she strained, breathless. "I'm really glad you think that way but—"
Ursa released her, and Sabine tilted on her feet a bit, heaving.
"Sorry," Ursa mumbled in apology. Collecting herself, she clasped hands behind her. "I'll see you in the morning?"
Poker face firmly back in place, Sabine gave a single respectful nod. "Of course," she promised.
Ursa lingered there a moment longer, studying her, expression unreadable. Sabine's heart beat nervously and she resisted the urge to glance behind herself at the window.
Finally, her mother turned back to the hallway and left down it, boots making light clopping sounds that echoed through the passageway.
Sabine let out a breath, waiting a moment before she hit the button to close and seal the door.
She stayed glued to one spot as she listened to her mother's footsteps fading away.
When she couldn't hear them anymore she backed a step or two away from the door.
The corridor outside remained silent.
Shuddering in relief, Sabine turned around and crossed quickly to her window, unlatching it and sliding open the glass pane.
A puff of flurries wafted into her room from a chill winter breeze. Sabine leaned her head out of the opening, blinking through the snow and the shadows outside the yellow beam of light that slanted across the cold gray walls, and called out furtively.
"The coast is clear. C'mon."
Something moved in the darkness just beyond the window light. The movement resolved into a familiar orange-clad figure, pressed against the side of the stronghold and inching his way towards her. Ezra's boots perched precariously on the jutting inch of duracrete, fingers curled tightly around the lintel above her head, as he slid into sight.
Sabine held her breath until his feet were solidly on the windowsill and he was swinging his way into her room. He landed with a light thump and a cloud of snowflakes.
"When you said, 'There's a narrow ledge you can climb up to that wraps around the stronghold from the guest rooms', you really weren't kidding!" he exclaimed, straightening up with a shiver, bringing his hands up to his face and blowing on them.
"It gets slipperier when it's snowing," Sabine said, moving around him to shut the window, cut off the cold wind and the blowing flurries. "What took you so long? Tristan and I used to use that route all the time, we could make the trip in less than ten minutes through a full on blizzard," she teased him, turning from the window and leaning back on the sill. She couldn't help the grin that stole across her face.
The put-upon look he gave her was adorable. "No offense, but I think you and your brother might have been a fair bit smaller back then," Ezra pointed out.
Sabine shrugged. "Fair enough." She could already feel her anxiety melting away, Ezra's presence filling the room and making it seem less empty, less sterile.
He stamped his feet a bit, still rubbing his hands.
"Hey, do you have a spare blanket at all?" he asked, looking at her with pinched eyes.
Sabine stepped over to the foot of her bed and tossed him one. He caught it, immediately wrapping it around his shoulders.
"So..." he began, soft blue eyes stealing towards her in concern, "...why all the sneaking around?"
Sabine snorted. "Ezra, half the people in my Clan already want to kill you for being a Jedi, how do you think they'd react if they caught you spending any kind of time alone with me?" she challenged him.
Ezra shrugged, unconcerned. "So your crazy Mandalorian relatives might try to shoot me. Don't see how that's so different from the last time we were here."
"Last time we weren't officially dating, and I was still dar'manda."
"Oh?" Ezra said, perking up, waggling an eyebrow cheekily. "Are we official now?"
Sabine tossed a pillow at him. "Shut up!" she laughed.
"I just ask because it wasn't exactly clear the last time—" Ezra defended.
She batted at him with playful hits that he deflected with open palms, both of them filling the room up with laughter.
Sabine slowed down, calming, the echo of her mirth subsiding. She caught his hand, entwining her fingers in his and gazing down at them for a moment. The fingers were still cool to the touch from the cold outside, and she rubbed her thumb against the side of his.
"Anyway, I just... needed to see you," she admitted. Alone. Away from the others. Because you're my best friend and I can tell you anything, she added to herself in her head. The moment of rare vulnerability ended as she pulled her hand from his and leaned back against the foot of her bed. "And I didn't feel like playing a dozen rounds of twenty questions with my mother about it," she groaned.
Ezra chuckled, then let his gaze drift about the room, taking it in. The splashes of color across the walls were faded from time and sun exposure, but still unmistakably identified the room as hers. Her sanctuary, her respite, her place to go when she wanted to get away from everything and didn't feel like being in the studio.
He loosened the blanket around his shoulders a little and shifted to lean on the bed with her.
"What did you need to talk about?" he asked softly, knowingly.
Sabine exhaled, happy she could just skip the pretense and speak openly. Ezra always seemed to instinctively know what she needed, when she needed a listening ear.
"Just got a lot on my mind I guess," she said.
"We did have a pretty hectic day today," he quipped.
That earned a chuckle. "Yeah..." She let her gaze drift off, looking towards an old family portrait above her doorway. "It doesn't feel completely real. I... I have my family back. All of them," she said, voice quiet. "And they don't hate me." She shook her head. "After all that time away I never even dreamed something like this could happen." She glanced up at him significantly. "That I could have my life back again."
Ezra nodded in understanding. "I'm happy for you, Sabine," he said genuinely.
Sabine could sense no trace of sorrow or jealousy in him, and her heart panged.
Ezra hid his emotions almost better than her sometimes. She wondered if he truly felt that way or if there was some part of him that was still raw and stinging from the grief of his own loss.
Maybe it was a bit of both.
"And I'm proud of how you handled things with the Dutchess," Ezra added.
Sabine turned a rueful glance down at her lap. "Might not have without your support," she said. "Thanks for holding me back from... doing something I would regret." Like Kanan's cautions had helped her stay her hand when they had confronted Fenn Rau on Concord Dawn, so too had Ezra's Jedi guidance helped her not to give Tiber Saxon what he—rightfully—deserved, instead letting him be caught up in the product of his own hubris as she destroyed the weapon he'd sought to master, the weapon she'd created, atoning for her mortal sin from all those years ago, burying it at last.
She wondered if Ezra realized just how alike he and the older Jedi were. How much she'd come to treasure his influence on her.
"You would have made the right choice," he insisted reaching a hand across to clasp hers.
Sabine wasn't too sure of that, but his faith in her made her heart warm. She squeezed his hand tightly, grateful.
"How long can you stay?" she asked.
"As long as you want me," Ezra promised.
"That's good," Sabine said, moving away and sliding down to dig for something under the bed and trying to pretend her heart did not flutter at the tender words. "Because I have something I need help with getting rid of before morning."
She emerged from the underbed storage with a glass bottle in hand, liquid sloshing thickly in its base.
"Sneaking boys into your room and illicit drinking? You're living dangerously today, Miss Rebellious," Ezra teased.
Sabine grinned. "Rau gave me the bottle." She pinched the edge of the blanket and lifted it, scooting herself in close to Ezra's side before dropping it around them both. "And I guess maybe I feel like celebrating our victory a little." She handed the bottle to him for him to uncork.
"Shouldn't we throw a party then?" Ezra asked, popping the top for her dutifully. "Invite some friends, get crazy?"
Her eyes shimmered as she looked at him.
"I don't want to spend tonight with anyone else but you," she told him softly.
He stared back at her almost in a daze, his cheeks slowly reddening. After a moment he broke eye contact and cleared his throat, then tried to hide his growing blush by taking a large swig from the bottle.
Sabine raised an alarmed hand. "Gentl—!" she tried to warn him.
Too late.
Ezra jerked the bottle down, face twisting as he gagged. He managed to swallow but coughed horribly, doubling over, the blanket falling off his shoulders as he hacked.
"Force, Sabine!" he complained, coughing continuously and handing her the bottle back, pointedly. "What do you guys put in that?"
Sabine's mouth twitched wryly. "Almost nothing but pure alcohol." She raised the bottle in a little toast. "Mandalorians go hard." She took a sip, much smaller than Ezra's, and felt the drink burning its way down her throat with a solid ethanol sting. "Here," she said, passing the bottle again. "Try again."
He took a more manageable gulp this time.
Soon, their conversation was flowing as easily as the alcohol as they passed the bottle between them, slowly draining it. The ceiling lights in her room seemed to take on a soft glow, her head floated as they whispered and giggled.
She talked about her childhood, growing up here, things she'd never told anyone else on the crew before. He told her a few stories from his time before them that she hadn't heard. They drifted closer and closer together under the blanket until they were practically breathing each other's words, inhaling the same air.
At a lull in conversation, Ezra gazed at her with swimming eyes, head titling a bit, unsteady.
"Sabine..." he said. "I don't... think I can make it back to the guestrooms."
She clutched hold of his hand, gripping desperately, expression full of longing.
I think I love you, were the words her head supplied.
But what she actually said, in a fervent, quiet whisper was:
"Then stay. Please."
"Okay," he breathed, drooping.
She tossed something at the switch for the lights to dim them as they settled in together, his arm under her head and her cuddled up close to his chest. And it might have been the alcohol or it might have been how safe and warm it felt to be next to him, but in moments Sabine was already drifting off into a peaceful sleep.
The last thing she remembered was her own contented sigh.
-SWR-
The impatient knocking on the door the next morning was what finally pulled her groggily awake. Sabine blinked a bit in the soft white morning light coming through her window, feeling heavy in her limbs from the lingering sleep and the traces of booze, and then registered the heavy banging with a jolt of cold realization.
"Shavit!" she cursed, scrambling up, shoving at Ezra's shoulder to rouse him. He groaned and batted at her and she pushed with more force. "Get up, get up, get out of sight! Hurry!" she hissed.
She rolled him off the bed and Ezra fell with an awkwardly loud startled yelp. Sabine's heart thudded painfully, shoulders tensing and stiffening.
The knocking came again, sharp and annoyed, and Sabine raked fingers through her hair as she straightened, crossing over to the door and hitting the release.
The door slid open to reveal a very irritated Tristan.
"Tristan! Hi!" Sabine said, plastering on a smile she hoped looked nonchalant and not nervous. "What do you want?"
Her brother crossed his arms. "You overslept. You're late for breakfast," he told her flatly. "Mom sent me to fetch you."
Sabine gave a chagrined grimace. "Right." She tapped the toe of her foot on the floor. "Tell her I'll be right there, I just need to comb my hair a bit."
"Uh-huh," Tristan intoned, extremely skeptical. "I'm going to pretend I don't know Bridger is in the room somewhere and walk away," he told her.
She beamed. "Thanks Tristan!" she chirped genuinely.
"You're the best!" Ezra's voice floated from behind them.
"Don't make me regret it," Tristan sighed, uncrossing his arms and moving down the hallway out of sight.
(A/N)- SURPRISE SECRET DATING WHAT.
So yeah this one was kind of an homage to the first Sabezra fics I read (which both ironically involved confessions over drinking games) and a little bit of a nod to the idea that Ezra and Sabine were sort-of-secret-dating behind the scenes starting Season Three, a theory which I am not opposed to in the least. XD
Thanks for reading! See you in the next one.
