The Doctor was runnin g around the tardids console flicking switches and buttons and things "GODDAMNATION DIXIE! WE'RE FUCKING CRASHING THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHIT", "Y'all should fly this it Tardis better. You pilot it like a fuckin' retard" replied the Doctors trusty southern firebrand fireloving companion Dixie Anarchy. "YOU FLY THE TARDIS THEN YOU STUPID WOMAN" Yelled da doctor. "YA WANNA HAVE AH GO AT ME! LETS GO THEN" screamed Dixie with a rebellious spirit grabbing her revolver.
Suddenly the Tardis FUCKING crashed like the SJW Doctor Who ratings.
"WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE" yelled Dixie, "We're in Innsmouth, Massachusetts" replied the Doctor walking out the tardis. "Treat or treat" said a little girl in a cringe sjw thirteenth doctor costume. This enraged the REAL DOCTOR. "PISS OFF" he screamed calmly, kicking her into the air across 200 football statiums.
"So, this here is Halloween" replied Dixie adjusting her hat and checking her revolver. "Yes, this is my favourite time of the year. For other cringe people its Christmas but for me its Halloween. We should decorate the Tardis in skelations and pumpkins and stuff.", "Ya, real spooky month", "DON'T YOU FUCKING SAY SPOOKY MONTH! ITS NOT MOTHERFCUCKIGN SPOOKY MONTH ITS HALLOWEEN YOU MOTHERFUCKING BITCH", "SHUT THE FUCK UP DOCTOR YOU COCKSUCKING FAGGOT", "NO YOU SHUT UP! YOU SHUTTT UP!" scremed the doctor back.
Suddenly a man was standing in front of the Doctor and Dixie. "HI, I'm cool writer H.P. Lovecraft. I'm currently writing a cool story about beasts of lesser parts, filled with vice. Its called Nigg..", Dixie interjected "Oh, Ah heard of that. Based, you're writing Nigge…", "Hi, H.P. Lovecraft I'm a huge fan" smield the doctor. "Oi, don't you interrupt me when I'm taking to Lovecrat" cried Dixie. "You must be the Doctor. And who is this formidable lady?" said Lovecat
"Dixie Anarchy," she said, tipping her hat. "Pleasure to meet ya. Oh who is this"
Lovecraft smiled, "Oh, that's just my cat. Nigge...", "Aww, whos a cutie" smiled Dixie picking up the cat. "Doesn't the doctor have any other companions", "Oh, just a goat and a nigg", "Yeah, Ryan and Professor Dinkles". Suddenly a african American man walked past. Dixie protested "Oi.. whats a nigg…
Before anyone could say another word, the ground shook. A guttural roar echoed through the night.
"Holy shit…" muttered the Doctor
It's the Elder God
Shub-Niggerath, the Black Goat of the Woods with Thousand Young.
"Not if ah have anything to say about that" said Dixie empting a shiton of lead into Shub-Niggerath with no effect.
Suddenly, one of Shub-Niggerath's young shot some black goo into Dixies eyes. "Ah, my vision is impaired. I cannot see" she cried.
"Lovecraft, take Dixie and Nigg… I mean.. your cat back to the Tardis. I'll stop Shub-Niggurath and her young said the doctor.
As the green turned sickly green. The Doctor stood in front of the massive beast. Sonic Vape in hand.
"You will not stop the Mother Goddess. Shub-Niggurath. We will summon her and her dark children into this world. And by the grace of her womb, the world will enter a new stage of sex and fertility" said a cultist standing in front of the elder god.
"Ah, so you're one of those sexual revolution freaks. Look I'm all about condoms and gay marriage. But when you're transing our children and making onlyfans content. That's when we have a problem. And yoy know it's a slippery slope" replied the Doctor.
"Um.. yes. But we're also anti-abortion"
"Oh, based"
"Anyway, PREPARE FOR THE WREATH OF THE MOTHER GODDESS!"
Suddenly, some cultist women pulled up their robes and gave birth to the children of Shub-Niggurath.
"LETS GO GODDAMNIT" screamed the doctor, swinging out his sonic vape into a sonic sword.
Charging at the cultists as he swung his sword, slaying the dark children one by one.
Some of the children began eating some of the cultists, becoming stronger as they do so. Overpowering the doctor.
"Ah, alright. I ain't a pansy Democrat" protested Dixie in the Tardis, "well you looked blind" rplied Lovecraft. "No, I ain't a disabled. Lets go, the Doctor needs us" she said in a strong southern accent.
The Dark Young held the Doctor, as Shub-Niggerath began to enter our reality.
Suddenly, Dixie wearing her rocket boots fired at the Dark Young from the air, causing them to release the Doctor.
Dixie landed on the ground next to the Doctor, cocking her revolver, her eyes steely. "So, Fag. What's the plan?"
"We need to disrupt the summoning ritual," said the Doctor. "Lovecraft, you know the incantations. Dixie, cover us." "Aye Aye Captain" smiled Dixie launching into the air and flying at the Dark Young from above.
As Lovecraft chanted the ancient words of The Necronomicon, the Doctor used his sonic vape to disrupt Shub-Niggerath. Dixie fired unyielding at the monstrous tendrils launched from Shub-Niggurath at her.
"The summoning ritual has been disrupted. Now, Shub-Niggurath, Piss Off. Piss off back to Yaddith" the doctor cried as the Elder God was banished from reality with a final desperate roar. The forest fell silent, and the sky returned to its normal hue.
"Well, ain't that just a fucking hoot" smiled Dixie.
Lovecraft almost slumped over, exhausted.
The Doctor and Dixie then decided to participate in some Halloween festivities. The Doctor dressed up as JasonVoorhees and Dixie dressed as a sexy racist squid robot.
Some fucking bitch didn't give them candy, so they burnt their house down and laughed as they cried.
Happy Fucking Halloween guys. And don't call it spooky season, that's lame and zoomer and millennial and SJW and Bowlestrek wouldn't like that.
