Moxxie had quite a bit on his mind at the moment. His boss's priorities were very askew in general, his first anniversary with Millie was coming up in a few short weeks, his sort of son had just gone through more horrible abuse they were unable to prevent, and all of Hell was panicking due to the recent announcement of having two exterminations every year, with only six month to prepare for the next one.

Luckily princess Morningstar kept to her word and tried to look after them … but sadly, it wasn't enough. "So." The boy spoke up. "Do you think the reason they sped up extermination was cause I killed an angel, cause Charlie's plan was offensive to them, or because Adam's just a horrible person that makes Alastor look nice by comparison?"

"Don't think about it." Octavia, the goetia princess and daughter of prince Stolas, held Iruma, his sort of son-like figure, on her lap on the couch, caressing her fingers on his head. "For one, you didn't kill an angel."

"But I..."

"It's cute when you lie, which means it is a lie." The goetia girl noted. "Second, a dick is a dick, they don't need a reason to be a dick." Personally Moxxie didn't quite know if the boy killed an angel or not. Extermination is a time for … a LOT of repression and ignoring what happened. "So just relax with your time away from that fuckin hotel."

"You're rubbing his head wrong." Loona stated as the three of them sat on the couch.

"... Excuse me?" Octavia glared at their rude secretary.

"It's more like this." The hellhound placed a hand on the boy's scalp. "About three inches behind the cowlick, that's the sweet spot that helps you ignore pain."

"Is it really that close-ahhhhh…" The boy grinned with a relaxed tone. "That… that feels nice…"

"See, that's how you gotta do it." Loona responded, not stopping in the slightest.

"Thank you for that … informative tid bit." The goetia girl tried to pull Iruma away. "I'll take over from here."

"No, I think I'll keep going."

"I'm his girlfriend, this falls under my wheelhouse."

"I'm his first friend, I've known him longer."

Mox sighed. "Why are they arguing about headpats of all things?"

"Unclear Mox, unclear." Blitz shook his head. "I'm still trying to wrap my head around this devastation the second extermination will have on hell."

"... You're thinking about the loss of souls and infrastructure problems?" He knew it wasn't, but he dared to hope.

"Nope, our client base." Of course Blitz made it about the money. "So many potential customers, dead with their cash, without their burning desires to see their fucking ass enemies dead along with them… such a tragedy …" And he quickly perked up. "So I was thinking that in four and a half months, we move on down about six rings before this shit happens. No need to die on a burning ship."

"You can do it if you want." Iruma shrugged within the struggle of two girls. "I'm pretty sure Alastor will keep me by his side during the next extermination … either to make me suffer, or use me as insurance in case an exorcist gets near him."

The door slammed open, as Millie came out, covered in blades and guns. "Not if I kill heaven itself!"

"Millie, love the attitude, but your time and energy would be better focused on getting a threeway going." Blitz called out crassly.

"If my tot can kill an angel, then so can I! I'll just go through every weapon until I figure it out."

"Pretty sure it's just a … mortal thing, like Carmine said." Iruma spoke up, staring out of the window.

"Mortal thing … mother fucker! Kid, you're a genius!" Blitz shouted.

"I am?" Iruma tilted his head.

"For the next half month, we turn targets to kill into targets to catch, and have our own army of angel slayers to sell!"

"... Blitz." Mox growled. "If you suggest human trafficking, I will shoot you in your dick. Paycheck be damned."

"….Moxxie that is the hottest thing you've ever said to me."

"And then send the ass to Stolas."

"… And you ruined it." Blitz grumbled.

"Ugh, you're worse than dad." Octavia grumbled. "You're both sex hungry freaks, and I can say that knowing he might hear this, because he'll take it as a compliment."

"And I'm stuck living with it." Loona grumbled, blinking as she turned to the boy. "Your arm's glowing, dude."

Iruma adopted a weird expression on his face. "I think that lady is calling me ... the one that gave me the gauntlet sword thing."

"Carmilla Carmine is calling you!?" Moxxie got in close.

"I got that she makes weapons, but is she really that big a deal?" He asked.

"Iruma, Carmilla Carmine is the most influential and possibly biggest overlord in hell! She's the creator of the most advanced and powerful weapons known to demonkind, using the fact she can create something capable of fighting off a higher class allowing her to make contracts with multiple beings. In fact I'm pretty sure she has a few dealings with goetias!" Moxxie exclaimed.

"That explains where mom was able to find an assassin with those fucking guns..." Octavia growled.

"Ah … Via-chan ... you're ... squeezing my head…" Iruma winced.

"Sorry, sorry." She pulled away. "You're not going right? She said she wouldn't try to exploit you, but she clearly wants something from you."

"She owns my soul, and I guess unless Alastor says something about it, I don't really have a choice but to listen to her." The boy groaned, before pausing. "Wait, what would happen if two people pulled on my soul at the same time?"

"Probably tear it to shreds as you live the rest of whatever life you have in eternal agony." Blitz offered. "And with five, you're gonna be downright atomized."

"Blitz!!" Millie called out.

"What, he needs it straight every now and then!" Their boss justified. "Vague understanding is how his soul got fucked over so many times to begin with!"

"... He has a point. You guys were pretty vague with exterminations." Iruma nodded. "... Is there any other major cataclysmic events I should be aware of?"

"Not really ... other than succubi and cupids fighting each other topside on Valentine's Day." Moxxie pointed out. "And then there's the Krampus on Sinmas, but that's only a warning for bad hellborn children, you should be fine."

"I'm going to be cautious either way." The boy sighed. "I should get going now before Alastor decides he wants to rip my soul apart."

"Not without me you're not." Octavia noted. "As both your girlfriend and someone that owns your soul, I'm not going to let you walk in the middle of holy weapon wonderland alone."

"Aww, thank you Via-chan." The boy smiled, pecking the bird on the cheek.

"Hey, keep it rated G!" Millie shouted.

"It's a chaste kiss. You couldn't get any more boner killing than that." Blitz rolled his eyes.

"One, Blitz has a point, it's not much." He nodded. "And two … please, Iruma, take me with you." Moxxie begged with a deep tone. "It'd be a dream come true!"

"I … don't see anything wrong with it, I guess." He shrugged. "Striker had a holy gun, so it's not like imps aren't allowed or anything right?"

"Right… and if we get our hands on holy weapons, we can kill the radio fucker right down the fucking middle of his creepy ass smile!" Millie cheered

"I don't think it would help all that much." Iruma noted. "Striker had them and he still got beat up by people in the same weight class as him."

"Can't believe that slippery mother fucker got away." Loona grumbled.

"Plus the radio demon likely wouldn't let us talk about killing him if he wasn't one hundred percent sure he'd be able to take us down before we could blink." Moxxie pointed to the shadow.

Said figment was smirking widely. "Don't worry, I'm sure we can stop it juuuust fine." Blitz smiled. "I have a good plan for taking down shadows."

"You can't just take out a shado-"

"Flashbang." He tossed out a grenade before any of them could think about what he just said.

BOOM

"FUCK MY EYES!" The goetia girl shouted.

"I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU!" Loona screamed.

"Good thing I blinked." Iruma said bluntly.


Sir Pentious cackled as he flew to the hotel. "My old battleshhhhip may have failed me, but thisssss new one shhhhall dessstroy Alassstor onccce and for all!" Thus, the world would see his genius. It was the perfect time after all! All of hell was freaking out over what Alastor's broadcast had revealed, so by striking the man down at such a pivotal time, he'd have all of Hell's attention solely on him!

"That's right boss!" Egg Boi 108 cheered as he pulled a level. "You'll definitely not fail like that last twenty times you tried to fight the deer man!"

"You'll beat him real good and not get pounded into snake paste!" Egg Boi 65 grinned.

"He'll beat him for sure if he uses the ray gun."

"... I need to sssstart teaching you all better battle linessss." Pentious grumbled as they arrived. "Now then … fire the death ray!" He cackled.

"Yaaaay!" Egg Boi 360 cheered.

"Alaaaassstor! Sssssshhow yourssseelf and facccee your demisssse like a man!" Sir Pentious shouted as he fired, blasting a hole in the hotel.

"Um, sir?" Egg Boi 234 raised his hand.

"What issss it!?" He shouted.

"Alastor's right there on the balcony, he's been showing himself the whole time." He pointed to the radio demon, who was calmly sipping tea while reading a newspaper.

"Ahh, it is such a lovely day." The man grinned.

"Yo, strawberry pimp. We're currently under attack!" The stripped freak that helped his arch rival shouted. "I mean, he's not that threatening, but he's very annoying!"

"Hmm … oh, hello there." The man greeted. "Absolute stranger driving a tacky machine that I've never met before."

"At thisssss point I KNOW you're doing it on purposssse!"

"Sorry, I only commit things that entertain me to memory. You must be very bad at this if we've met once before ."

"TWENTY TIMES! I literally attacked you two weekssss ago!"

"Ah, my mistake." They nodded. "Very, Very, Very bad at this then."

"Alastor!" The moth woman shouted. "Do your job for once and actually protect the hotel!"

"Oh calm down now, I just wanted to hear the conversation. If he's so 'threatening' as you say, I'll dispose of it immediately."

"HA!" Pentious cackled. "I'd like to ssssee you try-"

SMASH BANG KAPOW BOOM

Within ten seconds, his entire fortress of gears and steel was reduced to rubble, hundreds of his Egg Bois cracked, and Pentious himself landed on the doormat. "Do you feel more secure now, Ms. Vagatha?"

"With you around, never." The moth demon rolled her single eye.

"Can I take the bad boy into my room for some fun?" Some tiny woman giggled in a way that unnerved Pentious.

"We don't take sinners in by force, Nifty." The princess of Hell shakily looked down at the little psychotic demon. "Though they are welcome to join at any time."

"Really?" The stripped freak glared. "He literally just tried to kill us. And he blew up the wall. Again."

"I can think of three counters." The princess smiles. "First, all sinners, high and low, have a chance to be better."

"Debatable on multiple levels." The cat sinner with wings rolled his eyes.

"Second, forgiveness is always the first step to making new friends."

"Has that actually worked out for you?" The spider glared back.

"I forgive you every day for bringing drugs into the hotel." The princess smiled right back.

"Got you there." The moth woman chuckled.

"Fuck you too."

"And third … we already have Alastor, we can't go down from there."

"It's the comradery that brings a smile to my face." The radio demon chuckled as he leaned down to Sir Pentious. "Thank you for another forgettable experience. I'll make sure to not remember you next time to relive this waste of time."

"Thhhhank you … for letting your guard down!" Pentious laughed as he snagged off a piece of clothing. "HAHA! My first blow! Ssssooon I shhhall win!"

The radio demon stared blankly at him with that frozen smile. "... I believe it's time to demonstrate what I do to Suzuki when I'm disappointed." Horns grew out as the demon's body grew larger, unnatural green energy flying everywhere as the whole body screamed death.

"Oh ssssshit-!"

Kabooooooooom

Pentious screamed as his body was torn to bits and pieces, the explosion sending said parts flying into the air. "Curssssssssseeeeee you Alassssssssstoooorrrrrrrr……!" He would get that bastard one of these days …. one of these days all of hell will know his name!


Carmilla hadn't had a decent night's sleep within the past few weeks, and now of all hell was likely experiencing what she was feeling too, but to a lesser extent. "Six months… six months..." Six months until the fruit of her mistake would come back and get most of hell killed, and she had no one to blame but herself for it.

How could she have suspected it? Carmilla went out there into hell expecting to die fighting off those monsters while Clara returned to safety. Her daughters would inherit half her title each, sharing the souls collected as stated in the contracts she created … only for the angel to instead die. And she couldn't even keep it a secret because the boy broadcasted it to all of hell.

That also brought up something else that had bothered her for the past few weeks. The only reason why all of hell wasn't storming her home, her sanctuary and only source of peace Carmilla had been able to charge out in her eternal damnation… was because of one human child, a child, shouldered the blame for her actions.

He had no idea what he was doing, he had no gain, he had no relation to them … but he did it anyway, managing to alleviate the action into a mislead lie. A lie that likely brought more misery into the child's life if the broadcasts were accurate.

Even if there were many demons in disbelief, her involvement in the events were hidden and tucked away. Her daughters and her were free to go about their lives in semi-normalcy. Unburdened by the prospect of war … at least, until Adam declared the increase in exterminations. The death count would be … horrendous. More than just their contracts would be lost ... the lives she killed to protect would likely go down just as well.

With the revelation of how angels were killed however, there was a small smidgen of opportunity for survival. There just needed to be enough weapons for a war … and someone brave enough to make an army.

For the former, she would need as much help as possible. From the boy in question, walking into her office. "Wow, we're pretty high up." The human spoke, looking out of the window as a small group of demons were right behind him. Two imps, and the young ars goetia. "Last time I was in a building this big; I was window washing a skyscraper on nothing but a single wire cable."

"One of these days we need to write down just ... everything. Just ... everything.." The goetia girl muttered as she looked at Carmine and marched in with her glare. "You…"

"Ms- Ms-Ms. Carmine!" The male imp stumbled to greet her with a hand shake, only to clumsily fall on his face. "You'reamazin-it's a honor-I really-thank you for the opportunity ldreamtabout this moment-!"

"Yes. Let's try to make this brief. I have another meeting in twenty." Vox apparently wanted to invest in security against angels. Not a bad idea on paper … but half hearted in execution given he had no idea how that would even work… she frankly was also a bit at a lost… or that could've been the fear of escalation. "Have a seat and help yourself to the drinks." It was always good to cater to customers, it helped strike easier deals.

"Ooh, thank you." The boy nodded cheerfully. "See Octavia, she's on the nicer side of demons if she's giving us food."

"You of all people should know the danger of a man in a white van giving out candy." The girl responded.

"I did get those a lot ... although every time I said yes the Van always exploded and the cops came seconds later … now that I think about it, that was probably Emily intervening." He muttered.

"So what do you want?" The female imp questioned, her eyes focused on a suspicious glare. "You've been awfully quiet since taking the tot's soul."

"Restructuring, looking at the damage costs from extermination … a nineteen percent loss of life within Pride." She sighed.

"Nineteen..." The male imp gasped. "That's ... quite a bit higher than previous years."

"Yes. I found it prudent to redouble my investments, which is why I called you here today, Young Suzuki." She turned to the boy. "How familiar are you with metal work?"

"Oh, I've actually had about five or six factory jobs in steel mills since I was six." The child nodded. "I've crafted bolts, screws, steel beams, this one time I was in the desert and crafted glass from the sand, though I don't think that one counts…"

"… So many names on that list." The goetia muttered.

"I see." Carmine nodded, a familiar sense of maternal pride swelling up inside of her. "I've heard your broadcasts. I know you're not a violent child, but given the times we're facing, knowing how to use that weapon of yours would be … beneficial for yourself and those you care for." She stated. It was a risk, given the boy's ties to Alastor … but Carmilla was a mother ... and she didn't like the idea of a child left to fend for their own as much as she didn't like the idea of her own children being defenseless. "So ... I'm willing to offer you a job." She stated. "Twice a week. You work at my factory. You learn the ins and outs of holy weapons, as well as your own, and get financially compensated."

"… I'm getting paid?" He asked.

"Why yes-"

"I'm in!" The child shouted with a smile.

Everyone blinked at the sudden acceptance. "… Iruma." The female imp stared. "You sure you don't want to wait a bit more and consider it?"

"Oh I've actually been looking for another job other than IMP. Only problems are Greed wants me kidnapped, Sloth wants me billed and the air is always hard to get used to, Barbie's in Sloth, Wrath is a bit of a dangerous wasteland, Envy's fishes are too big for my normal fishing rod, Lust gives me this weird feeling of prey..." The child took a pondering pose. "Although Verosika seems nice enough to get a job for-"

"No." The female imp and goetia both stated.

"...Stage help..." The boy looked at the two curiously and confused, before continuing, likely unaware of the context or concern. "... and the only jobs I have in Pride are working for free because of contracts, plus Blitz barely pays me as it is."

"Iruma, money's no issue with me." The goetia stated. "I can literally buy anything you could ever need."

"I know, but I … don't want to just rely on others. Being self-sufficient is what helped me live on Earth, and it can help me live in Hell." He stated. "I won't be any kind of burden on anyone."

"That is a respectable mindset." Carmine nodded with approval. Humble, kind, and selfless. Not many demons or people in general had any of these traits.

"So, how much are we doing?" The child questioned. "Ten cents a week? Twenty?"

"…. Do labor laws not exist on Earth anymore?" Carmilla couldn't help but ponder. "Should I double check with the next batch of lawyers?" It's hell, they knew what they were getting into. "The standard workers wage is eight hundred to a thousand dollars a week."

"… Via-chan?"

"Yes Iruma?"

"I'm going to pass out now. Please protect my body." And the boy fell down within an instant, the goeita managed to catch him in time.

"…. How little does your boss pay you all?" She asked the two imps.

"That's the issue with freelance, it's random every week." The female nodded.

"That and Blitz is bad at math and distribution."

"Hmm." She nodded.

"… So you say we could get our hands on a holy weapon …."

"If it's for Alastor, be aware that overlords get attacked with sinners who use holy weapons every other year thinking it's a get rich scheme. They're more used to the danger than goetia."

"Still wouldn't hurt to be ready for it!"

"… We'll see how it plays out." She was helping a child and preparing for war, not running a charity.


Vox glared down at the picture of the brat, blowing him up. "He got a job for CARMILLA CARMINE!?" What the actual fuck!? Of all the luck in hell, he gets connections with three Overlords, a brat of a Goetia, AND the brat of a Sin?? "How the hell-NO one that stupid should be falling ass backwards into fortune like that! He's in hell, he should be suffering after being ripped apart by cannibals, not getting life served on a fucking platter!"

"Somehow being an angel killer is the least impressive thing on the brat's resume." Val rolled his eyes.

"And cause this kid is so FUCKING LOCO, it just gives Alastor more and more views! That old timey prick would be nothing in today's world! He has no idea what it means to entertain the masses!"

"And we're back to the deer he wants to fuck." Velve sarcastically spat.

"I DO NOT WANT TO FUCK HIM!!" Vox shouted.

"You do dress up like him." Val cackled.

"This was MY original design, half the fuckers in hell dress in pinstripe suits, some are bound to look similar!"

"Every outdated fucker wears a suit."

"Don't you DARE call me outdated! I am the superior model! I am what everyone wants to watch! I am the king of entertainment!" He glared. "But no, because that cheap cheesy grinning psycho got the jump on for the new extermination date, everyone is flocking to radio stations! Radio stations, like it's the fucking 50s!"

"And it's not helping your stocks come back any faster." Val noted. "I told you to bring out the Vox drones last week, but nooo, you wanted a dramatic announcement."

"You just want to spy on your whores outside the studio!"

"Yes, yes I do." They admitted without shame. "Still can't get in contact with Angel Dust, and I'm resisting every urge to burn that hotel to the ground."

"Oh right, thank you for reminding me of something else I needed to know about earlier…. Fuccccccckkk!" Vox began smashing the nearby tv. "Of all the fucking demons the prick had to team up with, it's the princess of fucking HELL!?"

"He's been teamed up for two weeks. Seriously, if you're not gonna care for the views, at least use the broadcast for info on the radio bastard." Velvette rolled her eyes.

"That's not the point! If the fucker makes a deal with Lucifer's brat, then there's nothing stopping him from doing what he wants!" Vox growled. "I'm going to stop this… I have to send a message out, and tell the red bitch who's really incharge of things now!"

"You tried that with the game show, and it failed." Velvette called out

"Oh not the brat … this one is to the bastard himself!" He marched into his office as music began playing.

"This should be fun." Val grinned as Vox jacked himself into every screen and port he had available in hell.

"Here we go … I'm gonna make you wish that you'd stayed gone." Stayed out of EVERYONE'S life! "Say hello to a new status quo." One where the Vs were in charge. "Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn, Turn the TV on!"

"You'd think he'd try this when the fucker disappeared." Velvette noted.

"He was too pissed that the radio demon almost beatnik him."

"Camera speeds." The director stated. "Rolling in three, two…"

And … broadcast.

"Welcome to the show." His helpful little audience sang.

"Top of the hour, and we're discussing a certain has-been, who has been heard cavorting around town." His voice everywhere, making everyone abandon the GREAT things in life!

"Welcome to the show."

"With a Truman Show downgrade." The unoriginal idea anyone could've had. "Does anybody care?"

"Welcome to the show."

"Did anybody notice?" They won't anymore. "More on tonight's program!"

He switched to a talk show setting. "So, the Radio Demon is spewin in town, why is he hanging around?" A question everyone asked at one point..

"What does that mean for your family?" Vox quite literally asked himself.

"Well handily, I've got good news! He's a loser, a fossil!" The bastard never managed to kill him, he fucked off before he could, and Vox came out stronger and better for it! "And I don't mean to sound hostile."

"But the demon is a coward!!" Every outlet agreed, telling the masses what to think.

"You can take that as gospel. Pulling my viewers? Impossible." Vox would neeever lie to someone. "I'm visual, he's barely audible." There was more to see. "Stop giving him the time of day, don't listen to a word he'd say." Don't pay attention in the slightest to that shitty show. "I hope he had a nice vacay,"

"But he should've stayed away." Should have stayed fucked off and let them rule. Now the powers and scales would reverse!

"While he strapped a brat on a radio, we've pivoted to video." Who cared about some child? Why was he getting so much attention? "Now his medium is getting bloody rare." Old and outdated. The boy's life would be routine and become stale. "Hell's was better when he split. Where's he been? Who gives a shit?!" No one should care. Because Vox was better, seen, and known!

"Salutations!" … No …

"Good to be back on the air!" Fuck! That bastard was on the air... and because it was fucking radio, Vox couldn't shut him up! "Yes, I know it's been a while, since I've talked with some style and gave Hell my own broadcast. Sinners, rejoice!"

Just tile with it. You can still talk him down! "What a dated voice!" Barely listenable.

"Instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast." Alastor butted in with a calm demenor, somehow able to knock him around the screen with just his fucking voice!

"Come on!" That wasn't even his domain!

"Is Vox insecure, pursuing allure? Flitting between this fad and that, is nothing working?" The little shit kept going as Vox tried to squeeze back control of the screen.

"Ignore his chirping!"

"Every day, Young Suzuki outshines his format."

"You're looking at the future, he's the shit that comes before that!" He screamed out, forcing the fucker out of the screen.

"Is Vox as strong as he purports? Or is it based on his support?" WHAT!? "He'd be powerless without the other Vees!"

"Very true." Val nodded.

"Completely lost." Velv laughed.

"Oh, please!" He's the reason their shticks were even popular in the first place!

"And here's the sugar on the cream. He asked me to join his team!" NO!

"H-hold on!" He tried to smash the radio … but it was just a screen, next to the shop. He couldn't touch it in the slightest!

"I said no, and now he's pissy, That's the tea!"

This fucker. This fucker! HE WOULD PAY PAY PAY!

"You old-timey prick, I'll show you suf-ffering!" He screeched out, typing up every single screen and port he could hack into, he's head beginning to spark.

"Uh oh, the TV is buffering!" The voice laughed.

"Hey, blue balls, you're blue screening again!" Val called out. "You're going to crash-!"

"I'll destroy you, yo-ou lit-tle—" He would kill, kill, kill-error.

POOOMF

All the lights went out, every piece of electrical equipment he had had completely gone out…. Just like last time…

"I'm afraid you've lost your signal." Alastor sarcastically sang … the voice still going.

"Let's begin … I'm gonna make you wish that I'd stayed gone, tune on in." They sang menacingly. "When I'm done……your status quo will know its race is run….Oh, this will be fun!" And with one final laugh … the signal cut.

"…Fuck!" He slammed his head into the desk. Every time … every FUCKING time … "Can't anything get rid of this fucker!?"

"Lucifer's brat hates him." Velvette noted. "Think we can manipulate it to a tipping point?"

He groaned. "She hates Alastor because he owns the human. Bitch wouldn't trust us, we all tried to off the brat at one point." Vox grumbled. "It wouldn't be so bad if we could just sneak some Vox tech into that hotel. Keep an eye on them whenever the brat's not inside and sneak inside whenever we want."

"We'd need to hire someone with no ties to us, a loser that the princess's bleeding heart would take in with no second thought." Velvette nodded

"What pathetic sap would be so down on their luck they'd accept a crazy job like this?" Val muttered. "I already employ every desperate hoe in this town."

That made something click in Vox's head. "Desperate….I think I know …just the one."


Well, Alastor was absolutely going to break him back when he got to the hotel. A large paying job for easy enough work that didn't actually involve compromising on any of his morals? There was no way he was going to let that go unpunished. (Iruma himself was still processing the events in question). It made him all the more glad that he spent weekends at IMP to at least pretend like he didn't have the rest of the week of mental pain to look forward to… though oddly enough between Charlie's kind and giving nature, Husk's company, Nifty being…. Something resembling friendly, and Vaggie's no-nonsense approach to anyone hurting anyone at the hotel … Iruma's life was NOwhere as painful as it was when he first started out in hell …. Adam beating him down from flesh to soul notwithstanding.

Iruma thought he was crazy for thinking that … and going by how a lot of people reacted to what he said most of the time, that wasn't OUT of the question … but … there was a strange wave of.. Comfort Iruma felt in his life. Not contentment and casual acceptance…comfort.

And now that comfort was spent having a full meal with his new boss, who paid him more than anyone had EVER paid him in his life, and her two daughters, the girls he barely met on extermination but were still nothing but friendly. Truly, today felt so good it was almost as unnerving as Emily hugging him for the first time. "We're ... We're actually here… sitting in Carmilla Carmine's home … sitting in Carmella Carmine's chairs … Eating with Carmilla Carmine's silverware…" Luckily, Moxxie's stuttering brought some semblance of normalcy to the atmosphere, as he had spent the entire day completely shaking.

"...Is your friend going to be okay?" The dark skinned demon girl, Clara he learned her name was, asked as she poked Moxxie's head with a fork. "I've seen fanboys and girls for mom before, but no one ever THIS obsessive."

"Apparently she was the reason he got inspired to use guns to begin with." Millie explained. "It would pretty much be meeting the person that inspired you to follow your passions."

"That would pretty much be our mom." The pale demon, Odette, gave a soft smile. "She showed us the intricacies of building a design, and it fueled a passion into making our own."

"They always had the passion inside of them. All it needed was a little guidance and direction." Said woman, Carmilla Carmine as Moxxie repeated on several mutters, nodded with her same blank scowling expression, but upon closer expression, he read the tiniest hints of smile in the corners of her mouth.

It was … strange. Like watching Alastor in reverse. Carmine didn't … seem evil. Sure, she made weapons and owned his soul, but other than making sure he never talked about how the angel really died, nothing actually was expected of him. If it wasn't for the fact she called him today and the constant cover ups he had to make, he almost would've forgotten about her. "Well, it… definitely shows." Iruma spoke up, rubbing his arm. "The gauntlet really helped on Octavia's and I's first date. I was never one for violence, so I really like it over the sword." He smiled.

"Glad that it actually has some use." Clara spoke up with a bright smile. "Angels don't really make armor since, well ... they're angels." That… kind of explained how Carmine was able to cut through an angel's neck without too much difficulty. "And you can't get too heavy with angelic steel. It's not too heavy, but make it too dense and the pressure seeps into a demon's skin and causes a lot of problems."

Iruma tilted his head. "How much refinement do you need to add the angelic effects? Ninety or eighty? Because I think you may be able to add in some lightweight magnesium." Carmine paused for a second as everyone at the table looked at him. "What?"

"Nothing Iruma-kun… it's just…well, I know you have unorthodox experiences up top, but this wasn't a topic I was expecting." Octavia explained.

"Oh, I learned all about metals when I was around three and five. A lot of mining jobs." He explained. "I may have lung problems when I'm in my twenties, but I like to think it paid off when you learn to build your own supplies in the mountains." The boy smiled.

"...You learned all of this… by yourself…" Carmine asked, but it felt more like a statement.

"Yeah." He nodded, idly eating. "My parents didn't really teach me stuff cause it was more asking me for favors, didn't go to school much cause I was always out of country, and Emily was invisible for most of my life. So I just learned everything I know from life and nature." Iruma accepted as he finished his meal. "I'm pretty grateful everyone's so good at explaining stuff in hell, cause I tend to be at a loss most of the time."

"Then you are more impressive than Alastor's broadcast makes it sound." The corner of the lady's mouth twitched upward ever so slightly. "Keep that up and I believe you'll have a bright future in hell."

"Thanks, though that's only if Alastor permits it." Iruma sighed, thankful for the compliment at least. "Pardon me if this sounds weird or rude… but… you seem a little… nice… too nice for hell, and I've seen my fair share of nice people in hell." He looked at Octavia with a small smile. "But those are usually exceptions."

"... Every sinner has a reason they're down here." The woman stated. "As for me … I used to kill for profit."

"I took on Carmine's mortal career." Moxxie whispered in awe, looking at his hands. As far as he knew, Charlie, Emily, and maybe Octavia were the only nice people he knew that didn't have a body count, so at this point it didn't really phase Iruma.

"I made my own gear, took a job, took down the target, and used the money for my home. It was simply day in and day out. I never regretted what I did, and I never slept unwell at night …" She looked down. "Until one day I was caught on camera."

"Rookie mistake." Millie snickered.

"Millie, show some respect." Moxxie glared. "This is clearly a personal and deep issue."

"No … she's right." She sighed. "I thought I killed all of them … but one of my targets lived, obsessed with revenge. I was sloppy, and he tracked me down to my house … my family … I got my whole family killed with their vengeance." The woman sighed. "It was my occupation in life that doomed us … and my children were dragged down with me to hell." The two younger demon girls placed their hands on her shoulders. "The greatest failure a parent could make is making their child suffer for their own sins ... and I've spent a lifetime in hell trying to make up for it."

"... I think you're doing great." Iruma smiled. "You say you love your children and don't force anything on them. That's more than my parents and Via-chan's mom." Who hires an assassin to kill your own daughter? "I admit… when I first came to Hell… the idea of seeing… ANY kind of familial love…or love in general, was jarring just seeing it on Earth, so in hell it just felt unbelievable for the longest time. But you... You've been able to hold onto it and protect for… who knows how long."

"Hell may be a prison you're stuck in forever, but it doesn't mean you have to suffer the entire time." Odette nodded. "It's more like… you have the rest of eternity for opportunity if you play your cards right."

The rest of eternity … well, not Iruma. One day he was going to die … and … would he go up or down … would he stay here forever as Alastor doubles his 'fun', or go up to Emily … and leave … everyone … The only form of kindness he's received in his life… behind. "You know, it would actually benefit a lot if you were more selective about your client base." Octavia's voice took him out of his thought train. "Seeing as how the same imp fucker almost killed my boyfriend twice and is still walking with a limp."

"Via-chan, they're just making money, it's not that bad-"

"You got a hole in your literal soul Iruma, do NOT tell me it's not that bad."

"Well yeah. I have a limp leg, a cut on my back, bruised ribs, and my arm has a hand mark from Adam's burn." He stated. "Getting hurt's just part of life. Just a bit more brutal since it's Hell instead of Earth."

The Carmine family looked to each other for about ten seconds, the three of them sharing a nod. "In addition to payment, we can provide clothing with Angelic weaving for added protection, seeing as the boy is likely going to be targeted by more miscreants."

"Oh …" He blinked. "That … would actually be very helpful, thank you." Seriously, it was so weird seeing so much kindness in hell …

"Oh, could you make a dress out of it too, he would look SO adorable!" Millie smiled.

Iruma blinked. "Wait, that was a one time thing!"

"Wait, really?" Octavia tilted her head.

"It was during spring break when our boss bet Iruma to Verosika Mayday." Moxxie explained.

"...Do you have any pictures?"

"Viaaaaa!" Why did everyone want him in women's clothes!?

Angel Dust idly listened to the broadcast. "So, he's gettin' a high pay job, food, and super clothes. What a weekend." Charlie and Al always left the radio on, just to keep an eye on the little bellhop that wanders around … and what a life Angel Dust heard … makin' friends with high rankin' people, having a fulfilling romantic relationship, a family that cares … what a funkin' load of crap. THIS was the kid everyone was so fucking afraid for?! The kid that was getting everything a sinner wanted on a fucking platter?

Said radio fucker chuckled. "Angelic weaving, how interesting. I DO hope that Carmine keeps the style. One should always dress for the best!"

"Maybe he can stop being such a wimp and start stabbing more people with his clothes!" That little freak Nifty cackled as she stabbed a rat through the head. "You DON'T get to breed and spread your parasites to your babies today, Ms. Brisby!"

"... I don't know if I should be more concerned about how every minute we find her killing something, or that there was an army of rats we weren't aware of." The princess muttered.

"Let's just be grateful we sleep in clean rooms." Vagina (he was going to keep saying that until the bitch finally showed some respect), groaned as she sat down. "Well, the commercial is a bust and the kid's broadcast is only going to turn people away with Alastor running things … how the fuck are we going to get sinners to join now?"

"With positivity!" Charlie shouted. "If telling the world that redemption is an option failed, then I'm going to do it individually. Every door, every apartment number, every electrified fence, and every sewer grate. I will search the entirety of hell for ANYONE who seeks to be redeemed!"

"... So you're just going to be a Jehovah's Witness?" Husk raised an eyebrow.

"Who's Jehovah?" The girl asked with complete sincerity.

"I think it's jewish." Angel shrugged, swiping a bottle from the bar when Husk was distracted.

"I recommend the Cannibal Colony if you're trying for conversation." Alastor spoke up. "They have the loveliest manners out of anyone in hell."

"The people who eat entrails off the street every morning have the best manners?" Vagina glared.

"Don't knock it until you try it, just ask Young Suzuki! Five more trips there and he'll be eating flesh off their live bodies!" Alastor grinned. "Heck, the people down there like him so much that when I lost a bet, it was to stop mutilating his body … luckily for me, I'm creative."

An entire group of man eating people backing up for the kid … Some people got all the luck. Here this boy was, happier dead than he was alive. Princessa babied him, Vagina didn't yell at him, Nifty didn't try to stab him, the cute rough and gruff bartender always talked to him, and he had a fucking rich girlfriend that always carried his ass! He thought the kid was overrated before he met him … and now it was more and more like Angel's life was a joke. The kid talked about how much his life sucked, when he was literally getting hell to bend over a fucking table for him to place in uncircumcised dick in! WHY THE FUCK WASN'T HE SUFFERING LIKE HE WAS!?

Maybe Val was right and this whole redemption bullshit was a fuckin joke-

Knock Knock Knock

Everyone turned to the door. Charlie let out a small gasp. "We have a visitor! Oooh, maybe a new patron!" She ran forward, opening it up before anyone could so much as get a word in edgewise. "Hello there!"

"Yesss…. Hello there madame…" Oh what the fuck, again!?

"You..." Vagina growled as she got in front of Charlie, pushing the snake twerp down and pointed her spear at him. "Don't think we're afraid to sic Alastor on you again!"

"Oh yes, the man who ruined my coat … I remember him." The strawberry pimp pulled out his voodoo magic as runes circled all around.

"No! I come in peacccce!" He shouted. "I wishhhh to redeem mysssself!"

"... You're kidding, right?" Most of the staff asked, not believing this bastard for a sec-

"That's wonderful!" Except the princessa. "We're welcome to have you aboard. Come on in."

"Charlie, he tried to murder us." Angel Dust deadpanned.

"All in the past."

"That was six hours ago!"

"Which is why we can make apologizing for a mistake our first lesson of the day!" Charlie grinned as she led the snake loser inside.

"Charlie, at least make sure he doesn't have any weapons on him, you're literally inviting a snake into your home!" Vagina called out.

"The bad boy came back!" Nifty jumped on the bastard's chest as she pulled him in close. "Never leave me."

"... Sssshe sssscaressss me like nothing elsssse." The snake whispered in fear.

"That's Nifty, our housekeeper." Charlie pulled the girl off. "Over there is Husk, our front desk/bartender. You've met Vaggie and Alastor. Oooh, this is Angel Dust, our other patron!"

"Yeah, we've met." Angel glared. "You tried shooting me full of holes alongside my girl buddy."

"Yessss … and assss Msss. Charlie hassss told me to do … I am ssssorry for attacking you and your female ally, Msss. Cherrie Bomb." The weaselly bastard bowed. "It truly wassssssssn't anything persssssssonal."

"Uh huh." Angel nodded with disbelief. "So you just suddenly got hit with the 'I wanna be a good person' itis after smiles blew you up?"

"I became introssspective after the … 'Ssssuzuki treatment' from Alassstor."

"Aaah, so physical violence WAS the answer to getting more patrons!" Alastor laughed. "Don't worry Ms. Morningstar, I shall be threatening and slicing demons in the morrow to bring in more failures for you to disappoint!"

"Alastor…!"

"Okay, okay, you've twisted my leg…. I'll get Iruma and order HIM to slice them up, get the lad started on emotionlessly dicing his enemies into bite size pieces!"

She continued to glare at the man, before taking a deep breath. "I have a new patron, one who actually wants salvation. My day will not be ruined." Charlie turned back to the slithering creep. "Nifty, prepare his room, I'll show him the rest of the hotel."

"He can stay in my room." The little freak giggled like she was a school girl.

"... Bessssidessss her, glad to be here!" The man shouted as he followed.

Great, now Angel Dust had to deal with a roommate … just add it to the joke known as his life. At least the brat was going to be out of hotel for another day… he could not deal with that idiocy at the moment.