Iruma walked through the front door of the hotel. "I'm back." Back in hell... with jobs... friends... family... love... so many things he had down here… that might've been the best kidnapping of his life…

"Iruma!" Charlie ran over to him with a light skip in her step. "We heard what happened on the radio, are you alright?"

"Yeah... I'm fine." He smiled. He... he really was. "I got the neurotoxin out of my system, so now it's just back to my good, slightly limping old body."

Charlie shook her head as she embraced him. "I'm happy you survived, Iruma." She hugged him warmly… he's been getting so many hugs since he came to hell. He would've gave that up if he went back to parents. "It really isn't the same without you here."

He recalled what the truth vision showed him… a woman full of motherly warmth... he had three of those... and Charlie was one of them. "Thank you …" Iruma smiled as he walked in. He wasn't ready to call her mom just yet… someday maybe; but not now. "Hey Nifty." He greeted the cleaning girl.

"Hey Chomper, dog biscuit." A friend that never asked him to do much, even if she was a chaotic bundle. He munched it up with a smile. She was always nice to him in her own crazy way.

"Thanks. Have a new roach show for this week?"

"You know it. This time I'm going for the family that played baseball before a nuclear bomb strikes."

Iruma briefly pondered if he should mention something about Hiroshima…"…. Not going to comment on that." Best to keep that to himself. "Hey Vaggie." He waved to the groaning manager.

"Hey kid, back to the madhouse already?" The gray woman nodded. Not many feelings, but she felt somewhat trustworthy in Iruma's mind. And Charlie liked her, so that was a point.

"Better than the house my parents live in at least." He shrugged. "I mean, the place hadn't blown up."

"Not for lack of trying…" Vaggie grumbled as Husk handed her a drink. "Alcohol.. I love and hate that you exist."

"Yeah, don't we all." The man noted. "Welcome back kid."

"Glad to be back." Husk, the oldest guy he knew down here, and the closest one who could understand what it was like having your soul stuck to a creep. "Still have all your guts intact?"

"I have my liver in one piece at least, so that's as good as life will get for me." The cat demon drowned a bottle.

"Oh, brat's back." Angel Dust... again, no strong opinion. But despite his position to legally make Iruma do whatever he wants, he hasn't used it yet, though Iruma had a slight feeling the spider wasn't the biggest fan of his. "Back from tripping balls and getting hugged by angels?"

"I was hugged by Emily, but I don't think there were balls, unless the bomb counted." Iruma scratched his chin.

"He means drugged out of your mind." Husk explained.

"Ooooh, then yeah. It's out of my system." Iruma nodded. "Honestly, the idea that anyone would willingly destroy themselves like that by using drugs is just dumb. It's completely pointless and leaves you empty on the inside."

Crack

… Everyone stared at the broken glass in Angel Dust's hand. "… Put it on my tab." He spoke lowly, getting up and marching away.

"… Did I say something wrong?" Iruma questioned.

"Not at all." Husk answered. "Spider-baby just doesn't like listening to reality."

"Should... I go check on him?" Charlie asked.

"Leave it Charlie, maybe it'll actually get it through his thick skull." Vaggie huffed. "Then he'll at least act like he's trying like the new guy."

"Wait, what new-" Iruma began asking.

"Aaah, this was the stuff I love getting up to in the day." Spoke the one guy Iruma would call an asshole in hell, even if only mentally.

"Alastor." He groaned. Life had pros and cons… and Alastor was a gaping black hole of 'why?' in all of hell alone.

"Hello my boy, I must say I'm quite flattered. I had no idea you loved me having your soul." The demon snickered.

"… How much of the truth serum was audible?"

"Anything from your own words. Everything else was all in your delightfully broken little brain. Like how you love Hell. I'm sure you almost made Nifty blush from the praise."

"I'm going to make you a coat out of all the rat hair I find." Nifty hugged his leg.

"… That would be really warm in the winter, thank you." He patted the girl's head. At least he didn't have to wear another dress. "So I take it nothing's changed since I've left?" Given how slow the progress was going for the hotel, Iruma wasn't expecting much.

"Notttthing I've ssssseen."

"Got you Pentious." He nodded. "… Wait a second." Iruma slowly turned to the snake demon. "Are you here to blow us up?"

"No. In fact, I wissssh to apologize for my passst actionsss." The man gave a small bow.

Iruma gave a slow nod. "… Why is he here?" He asked.

"He's our newest patron!" Charlie shouted excitedly.

"Didn't he try to kill everyone... like, a few days ago?"

"It's all in the past!" Charlie shouted again.

"… Then it's nice to have you onboard." Iruma shook his hand with a small smile. "I'm the bellhop. If you need anything, just let me know." If Charlie trusted him, then he didn't have a real reason. If Alastor trusted him, then maybe he'd have more questions about it.

"Be it menial labor or human flesh, Suzuki offers it all." Alastor pointed it out. "Or you could be the latest to own the boy's soul! The possibilities are endless here!"

"Alastor…" Charlie glared.

"What's morally wrong about giving a man options? I'm not pressuring him into making a negative choice."

"Don't worry Princessssss, I have no dessssssire to own ssssssouls, I am very well offff already." The snake man nodded. "I will take redemption assss sssserioussssly assss required." Weird way to phrase it, but his danger sense wasn't really going off.

"Wow, he's really going for it." Iruma noted.

"I know... this is definitely among the top ten happiest days of my life." Charlie smiled so brightly it genuinely felt like rainbows and suns were shooting out of her head-no wait, given everyone's reactions they totally were. He sometimes forgot that higher up demons had the weirdest ways of expressing emotion. "It just feels so amazing to have a real patron."

"Wait, isn't Angel Dust your first patron?" Iruma asked.

"She means someone that doesn't make the hotel look bad and ignores everything." Vaggie clarified. "You know, put in the effort to be a better person."

"Aaaah." He nodded, turning to Pentious. "So, what made you change your mind?"

"Alassstor gave me the 'Ssssuzuki Exxxxperience'."

"… Husk, get him a drink." Iruma responded, patting the snake on the back. "Let it all out, we're here for you."

"….Thhhhhannk you…." The snake man hugged him with a slight whimper.

"It's gonna be alright …" He held the slithering man up.

"So beautiful…. I can't wait to watch this train wreck crash and burn." Of course that was why he stuck around. The one reason he was in this amazing place was because of the worst part of it.


Charlie grinned widely and clapped her hands. "Alright, now that everyone is here today we're going to do an activity involving role play!" With another patron, they could make double the progress. Iruma raised up his hand. "Yes Iruma?" Always respond to politeness.

"Is this the stuff Millie and Moxxie say they wait until I leave the house to do?"

"Ooh, little boring missionary couple into kinky shit." Angel Dust jumped on the opportunity for crass rated R humor. "I always appreciate a man that knows how to take it up from the back door, right Husky-poo?"

"I'm going to rip off your arms and shove it up that back door if you don't back off." Their bartender growled.

"Sounds like a fun time to me babe." The spider demon smirked.

"NOT the roleplay I was talking about!" Charlie shouted. Even if they had two patrons, the actual progress was still slow going.

"Hey. We're just being helpful here." Angel Dust grinned. "It's always quiet whenever I pass by your room and Vagina always looks like her box could use a good cleaning out."

"I will stab you!" Vaggie screamed out in rage.

"Again, just an opinion baby."

"Who needs roleplay?" Nifty questions. "A true bad boy stands up and takes whatever he wants without a second thought."

"This is going as smoothly as I expected it. As in, not at all!" Alastor grinned. "This has been the greatest and most entertaining year of my afterlife... truly."

One day… one day she was going to kick this psycho out of her hotel... unless he sought redemption. Which, Charlie doubted her chances for him. "As I was saying, we're going to role play… a morality play!"

"Ooooh, a play." Iruma nodded. "I've been a stage man once. I was the guy they hired to deal with the sparking and uncovered electrical outlets next to the spilling water pipes."

"Ooh, is thhaaaaat how you became mechanically incliiiined?"

"Nah, that was when I was five and almost died of heatstroke if I didn't fix the generator to plug the fan in." Iruma explained. "From there I realized utilizing my own fridges would help food last for later and heaters for cold winters. Although I never used gear tech all that much, you're pretty cool there Pentious."

"Ooh… well I offfffften aim for eloquencccce, but I sssssupossse cool would be an adept adjective." Sir Pentious blushed a little. A good sign of his progress was how much he and Iruma got along.

"Now then, for our first theme, we'll have Iruma and Pentious do a 'say no to drugs' reenactment." She explained.

"Why would anyone want drugs?" Iruma questions.

"Exactly!" She nodded, patting the boy's head.

"They don't fill you up and they cost money that could be used on necessities."

"… You know, if you were trying to make a point by using a real kid, then you're barking up the wrong tree here." Angel groaned. "Considering the brat's too dumb to sin."

"Hey …" Iruma paused. "Actually considering Adam that might not be far off base."

"You heard it from the boy himself! Only idiots get into heaven, dear listeners! Take of that information as you will!"

"Nobody but the participants in the play get to speak!" Charlie shouted at the overlord, before taking a deep breath. "Now, we need someone to play the shady untrustworthy and down on his luck depressed crackhead... Angel." Charlie grinned as she nodded towards him.

"Real subtle princessa, tell me how you really feel." Angel glared.

"What? You have the most experience with drugs, you'd know how a dealer would sound, right?" She asked with confusion at his anger.

"Yes, you would know what a down on his luck failure would sound like the most, other than Husker here."

"I said only participants may speak Alastor!" She cut him off.

"Fine, fine, if it gets everyone to shut up faster." Angel rolled his eyes as he stood up. "Alright, what do ya want me to do?"

"Put on this shady overcoat and hat and read from this script." Charlie passed the paper and supplies over to him. "Sir Pentious, you got this sailor suit and lollipop."

"… How are you more out of date than Mr. Steampunk?" He questioned.

"Ready when you are." Pentious smiled, wearing the sailor suit already.

"… Did he just change in the open?" Iruma questioned. "How did that-?"

"One of many talentssss I employ." He smiled.

"I'm more surprised he got an eyeball on the sailor hat." Nifty noted. "I wonder what would happen if I blind it …"

"And Iruma… Well, you're naturally cute and innocent already, so here's a popsicle." Charlie handed him the treat.

"Thank you." The boy smiled, taking it.

"Fuckin …" Angel grumbled as he put on the suit. "What now?"

"Here are all the scripts." She handed them papers. "And... go." Charlie sat next to Vaggie with expectant and hopeful eyes.

"Ugh…" Angel groaned as he looked at the script. "Hey, you kids..."

"Who, meeeee?" Sir Pentious reacted perfectly with a bright and cheery demeanor.

"Yeah, the both of ya. You two look like you could use some… devils dandrufff-what the fuck? Who wrote this!?" Angel looked to Charlie.

"It's great, right?" Charlie smiled.

"Ew, that sounds gross." Iruma winced. "Who wants the skin flakes off of someone's head?"

"It's a nickname for the drug, like Angel Dust." Angel stated.

"… Your parents named you after a drug?"

"It's not-agh..." Angel groaned as he kept reading the script. "Come on, take a load off and be cool like me... the crackhead."

"Thanksssss for the offffffer, but my parentsssss inssssstructed me to never talk or accccccept anything from ssssssstrangersss." Sir Pentious kept going.

"Wait they did?" Iruma asked. "Mine always said to accept anything free anyone gives me." And Charlie's innate instinct to comfort the abused child skyrocketed by about a hundred percent more than usual.

"…" Pentious showed initiative and gave the boy a hug. "There there, young one. It'll be alright."

"Wonderful!" Charlie clapped her hands. "Simply wonderful!"

"You have gotta be shitting me." Angel Dust grumbled.

"Now let ussssss be off and go back home to ssstttuddy, praticcccce our mannerssss, and not engage in sexxxxxxxual intercoussssse beffffffffffore marriage!"

"Well that last part is just common sense." Iruma nodded. "What's the point in having sex if you're not having kids?"

Everyone stared at him. "Not that I don't... disagree necessarily, but you do realize that gay couples exist, right?" Vaggie asked.

"And?" Iruma asked, looking confused. "Two people have sex and make kids, that's how it works." Wait, did he think...?

"He's fully aware sex makes kids." Husk said as he took a drink. "And because of that he's both unaware and uninterested in anything else involved in it."

"I mean I get that some people pay for it, but I assumed that's just because they want kids without putting in the effort for a relationship." Iruma nodded. "It just seems like a waste of time if that's not the case."

Crink

Angel Dust crumbled up the script papers as they started ripping it apart. "Angel, are you-?"

"I'm fine Charlie… just… freaking…fine…"

"And that... is the one bubble I refuse to pop." Alastor admitted. "Good job Suzuki, you always prove to be greatly entertaining and well mannered."

"I have no idea how to take any compliment you give me." Iruma said honestly. "So do I hand Angel Dust my script or …?"

"Forget it! I'm turning in early." Angel Dust grumbled as he headed up the stairs. "Night assholes!"

"Goodnight!" Iruma shouted back, which earned grumbling.

"... Maybe I should check up on him …" Charlie winced. It seemed like something was really eating Angel Dust up.

"Itsssss underssssstandable, he likely isssssn't use to having more than one patron around the hotel." Sir Pentious shook his head. "He'ssssss a pornssssstar, he'ssss probably ussssed to having all the attttention."

"True that." Vaggie nodded. "Just give him a week, if he's still pissy, then talk to him."

"Alright." Charlie sighed. They were still just in the first stages of the hotel after all, and they were JUST finally earning some progress. "But in any case Pentious, excellent job, especially with the unscripted parts! Keep this progress up and your soul will be redeemed in no time!"

"Glad to help you asssss much assss posssssible, Mssss. Morningsssstar."

"... So how does he have a lisp now but completely loses it when singing?" Iruma asked.

"It's the magic of hell, Iruma." Charlie nodded. She wasn't sure why that was so hard to understand.


KeeKee finished licking themselves off before gently walking down the halls. It was always good to stretch her legs once in a while, just hard to do so without giving the new guests a curious glance every once in a while, who tell their tales. Example, the radius she needed to completely avoid the homicidal roach girl. "HAHAHAHAAHA! Come back you breakfast! Come back and accept your yokey fate!" The insane cyclops shouted as she chased around the giant walking eggs that came along with the snake man.

"I don't want to be scrambled!"

"I want to be scrambled, but only if I get hit with the ray gun."

"I prefer to be sunny side up personally."

"Wow, this takes me back." The blue boy that somehow walked despite being broken mentally and physically noted. "Back in the chicken coop days on the farm. Except it was always birds running around, and I kept waking up with a feather in my hair …" He blinked. "Was that Emily or a genuine chicken?"

"Don't know, but I'm cooking breakfast out of these guys, after I stab them of course." KeeKee really regretted having only one eye, it meant she couldn't keep one open whenever she slept. "We're gonna have the best meal ever!"

"Wouldn't it make sense to save some for later?" The human asked. "I mean, there's hundreds of these guys."

"But we could make an omelet the size of the hotel and fill it with all the goodies we can find!"

"... That would be delicious." The human nodded, licking his lips.

"You know, I thought you were against cannibalism?" The roach girl questioned, looking at the boy curiously. "When did you get so stud-like?"

"I mean, they're demons, and their eggs, it's not like it's going to hurt anybody."

"I only feel pain in my dreams when mama leaves me to fly south for the winter!" One of the eggs shouted randomly.

"Pigeons are robots that are hiding in plain sight to learn how to murder humanity!" Another screamed.

"The living soul contains the strongest power due to not being limited by constantly maintaining physical form!"

"They DO shout a lot of nonsense though, so that's annoying." The roach girl nodded, climbing on top of the human's head. "Okay doggie, let's round up a breakfast we can stab to our hearts content!"

"WILL YOU TWO IDIOTS SHUT THE FUCK UP!?" The spider demon shouted from within his room that constantly smelled of smoke and reproductive fluid.

"Sorry, we'll keep it down!" The human shouted. "Okay, let's quietly catch them, stealth style." He then whispered to the roach. "Like how you sneak up on the rats."

"I just make sure to follow KeeKee's example, being all quiet and mysterious from the shadows." The roach whispered with a giggle as they pointed at her.

"Wait, we've had a cat this whole time?" The blue headed human asked.

"Yes."

"I feel like I would have noticed that earlier." The boy asked. "I've been here over a week and this is my first time seeing her."

"Oh, there's a reason for that." Master walked up to them and picked her up. "KeeKee's just like Razzle and Dazzle. My dad made her back when this hotel was first founded, about... I wanna say three hundred to four hundred years ago."

"Oooooh." The boy nodded. "Surprised it never grew that second tail."

"... Pardon?" Master blinked.

"You know, the Nekomata. Cats that have lived beyond a hundred years, gain a second tail, and become yokai?"

"Is that a thing?" The roach girl asked. "Oooh, so in fifty more years, will Husk grow a second tail? If I stab him will he grow it and enter his new life fluffier and more cuddly?"

"Maybe. Not sure how it applies to demons and mixed religion …" The human boy pondered. "Honestly don't know how religion works in general given how Hell and Heaven are structured... then again I was an atheist."

"Gotcha, I'll go stab him right now and check!" Nifty began wandering off.

"... Hey Charlie, remind me to stop by Gluttony again and get some beelzejuice to make up for that."

"Will do." Master nodded as KeeKee cuddled up closer. "Want to see something really cool about KeeKee?"

"Sure."

"Alright, KeeKee, do your thing!" Charlie did a fancy little twirl as she spun her in the air, KeeKee chasing her tail in mid toss as she felt her form shrink down and morph, transforming into her key form.

"Whoa, your pet cat's a sentai morpher?!" The boy's eyes lit up with sparkles.

"... Nope." Master continued. "My cat's the key to the hotel!"

"... So your only key to this place is both too big to fit in your pocket and can run away at any time?"

"No silly, she's a shapeshifter, being a cat is just her favorite form." KeeKee shifted into a small hand sized key. "And she's the bestest best girl in the whole world who'd never run away, aren't you, yes you are, yes you are." KeeKee shifted out of her key form and climbed on Master's shoulders. "She's meant to move on her own incase any unwanted guest tries to get in… although given the people who blow up the hotel wall, we might need to start thinking about a stronger gate around the premises."

"Ooooh, I see what you mean." The human nodded, a smile on his face. "That's pretty cool."

"I know, right?" Charlie shared the same smile, lending her over to the human. "Here, hold her, I promise she won't bite."

"Well she doesn't have a mouth, so I don't see how she could." Growing one, obviously. But KeeKee held back as she was held, planting her face on the boy's chest. "Oh wow, that's soft fur… really... Really sleepy…" The boy fell backwards, snoring right away.

KeeKee gently poked the human's face, looking back at Master curiously. "...Iruma…" Charlie poked the boy's closed eyes and checked a pulse. "He's still breathing… of course he just got back from being kidnapped by demon hunters, of course he's going to be exhausted… probably still sleep deprived and malnourished from those years of neglect…." Master sighed as she slumped down the wall next to the boy. "What am I going to do here? Alastor's not going to give him up, he's going to keep getting in danger whenever IMP drags him anywhere, it's come to the point he prefers hell over anyplace else, and Adam …"

KeeKee placed a paw on master's arm, trying to be as comforting as possible. She didn't understand most things, but she knew when somebody needed a hug, just like the spider did with that pet hellpig. "Thanks KeeKee." Master smiled as she patted her head. "Until I figure something out, being there when he needs it is the best I can do for now."

Being there for someone was always the solution. "Being there for someone is fun." … She and the Master turned to one of the eggs.

"Oh, hello." Master hesitantly waved.

"Hello." He waved back.

"...Exactly how many of you are there around here?"

"I'm Egg Boi 401."

"... Okay, going to have to talk to Pentious about limiting the number of eggs he can keep around."

"GAAAAH! NIFTY, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU STAB ME IN THE BACK!?"

"To make you grow your new tail! Don't worry, I'm making a giant omelet later!"

"... Look on the bright side Charlie." The Master smiled. "You have a patron on the path to redemption."


Vaggie watched as the snake placed a bouquet of flowers in the hall. "A gift to lighten up the room." He smiled.

"Awww, Pentious, that's so sweet!" Charlie ate up the good gesture like it was candy. Between the kid being around and Sir Pentious's 'improvements', Charlie was practically on a sugar high 24/7, something that both comforted and worried Vaggie. "You really didn't have to."

"But offfff coursssssee I had to. You'vvvveeee opened up your sssssssaaaannnnctionary to meee at my lowesssssst point, it's the very leaasssssst I could do in return." To be honest, Vaggie had very mixed feelings about the newest patron. On the one hand, the demon had attacked the hotel twice already, which was more than enough of an excuse for Vaggie to want to shove her spear through his chest. On the other hand though, Sir Pentious wasn't really what she considered a 'high priority threat'. He was pretty weak with or without his giant machine of destruction, and if there was anything they could count on Alastor for, it was handing the snake his own tail. Not to mention he was already better than their other patron …

BANG

"STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM, FUCKIN BRAT!" Angel Dust's voice shouted, following a loud slamming of furniture.

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Iruma's voice screamed out.

"Hey, hey, hey, I've already gone through the lecture on infighting in the hotel, as in we DON'T allow it whatsoever!" Vaggie shouted out, running forward to the room, seeing Iruma moving desperately out of a hallway as Angel Dust threw a piece of furniture with six arms. "What the fuck!?"

"Lines have been crossed Vagina! Move it!"

"Sssstttaaand back sssssspider!" The snake demon slithered in front to the boy and flaring his skin flaps menacingly, causing a spiral like effect from the multiple eyes.

"Gaaaah! What the hell-!"

SHUCK

Pentious swept Angel Dust by the legs with his tail. "Minionssss, hold down thisssss aggresssssive arachnid till he learnssss proper resssspect."

"Yes boss!" One of those little eggs (She needed to have a talk with him at some point) cried out as a small army tackled him.

"Let me go! LET ME THE FUCK GO!" He screamed. "I've smashed bigger balls than these little fuckers!"

"Angel!" Charlie moved in, holding the spider fucker in place effortlessly as she grabbed his arms. "Calm down, just calm down alright? We can talk about this …"

"Talk about it!?" Angel Dust shouted in offense, rage in his eyes. "He tried to eat my fuckin pig!"

"I didn't know he was yours!" The kid screamed. "I just saw him wandering around and thought it was a wild one of the hundreds of things roaming around hell and thought 'hey this looks nice' and maybe I could-"

"The naivety card only gets you SO FAR IN HELL!" Angel grew multiple eyes as he glared at Iruma.

"Angel, stop, stop, stop!" Charlie yelled as she moved herself in Angel's line of fire. "I've been patient with you the past few days, but I draw the line at attacking the other guests here-!"

"Oh, you draw the line, YOU princess, draw the line when you're the one that invited the slithering shitbag into the hotel without a second thought?!" Angel growled.

"Hey, watch it!" Vaggie moved forward with her spear ready. "You push the limit with how you talk, but you DON'T get to raise your voice at Charlie like that."

"Fuckin-fuck-fuck-FUCK!" The bastard shouted, walking back into his room, slamming the thing shut with enough force to crack the door. "STAY THE FUCK OUT!"

"...Ugh, that was horrible." Charlie groaned as she shook her head.

"Terribly ssssorry Mssss. Charlie. I did not mean to essscalate."

"No, you did great Pentious, you stood up for Iruma and you managed to take down Angel as non aggressively as possible." Charlie patted the man on the back. "You're a great friend with a big heart... I'm glad you're with us."

The snake blinked, tears forming in his eyes. "I… I.. well, It's-It'sssss not that big a deal, after all, I'm only ssssstanding up for sssssomone that needed it."

"I mean... he was kind of in the right." Iruma mumbled. "I tried to eat his pet …"

"You didn't know, Iruma. I know you're still getting used to how Hell works." Charlie rubbed the boy's head. "And I know you have a lot of health concerns when it comes to food, so next time you see an animal around the hotel, or anywhere for that matter, make sure you ask and double check no one owns it."

"Yes Charlie." He nodded.

"And if you're hungry, just come find me... I can make sure you get enough… without emptying the pantry again."

"Don't forget, cannibalism is ALSO an option." The radio bastard grinned. "You can always eat anybody at the hotel if you feel the need."

"... If I tried to eat you, you'd kill me."

"Never said there wouldn't be consequences, just saying the option is open."

"...I'm going to deal with you later…" Charlie groaned. "Pentious, mind keeping Iruma company for a moment? Me and Vaggie need to discuss Angel's… situation."

"Of coursssse Msssss. Charlie." He bowed, taking the boy away. "Ssssso, what other inventionsssss have you tinkered wittttth?"

"Let's see, generators, fans, microwaves, one time I turned a car into an oven, a fridge I made into a bed/boat, which REALLY wasn't easy with the density, a heat lamp…" All machines made to help him survive…. God what was Heaven thinking to let a kid suffer like this?

"We need to kick him out." Vaggie said once she was certain the others were out of earshot.

"Vaggie, we can't just give up on Angel Dust." Charlie argued.

"And he's not even trying." She added. "Now that we have a compare and contrast, we can see he's only here for the free stuff. He never once cared, and he never will. And it's only going to escalate from here." Vaggie clarified.

"I know but…"

"He actively makes the hotel look bad, sexually harasses Husk, constantly berates you, and he just attacked the kid for no good reason." She continued. "If he keeps up the temper, he's only going to devolve into another Alastor."

"No… nobody can be as bad as Alastor." Charlie grumbled, shaking her head. "I know Angel hasn't been the best, but redemption doesn't come as easily for some as others. Sir Pentious is great, but he has a lot less baggage than Angel."

"The kid has more baggage and he's practically a saint." Vaggie argued. "Heck, he's somehow nicer than YOU!" Something that Vaggie didn't say lightly, considering Charlie saved her from a lifetime of misery and loneliness. "I know you want to save everyone's souls… but.. there's some souls that just won't accept help when they have it."

"…. One more chance…" Charlie said. "I'm not giving up on Angel that easily."

"… Fine." The girl was stubborn in her kindness... something Vaggie couldn't help but love. "But we do it my way. He's not going to respond to your gentle approach, so he's going to get a taste of tough love from me."

"You mean you're going to hug him super hard, right?"

"… Yeah no. Best you get clear of here for now, I'm going to kick his door down." Vaggie spoke.

"You sure that's the best-?"

"Charlie, trust me." Vaggie placed her hand on Charlie's shoulders.

"… At least knock first." Her girlfriend sighed, walking away.

"Okay, time for some tough love." Just like her days in the exorcist training. Sometimes to force someone to open up was to give them no choice but to confront it. "Angel, open the door! You got a lot of explaining to do!" She knocked on the door.

No answer. She banged her fist against the door. "Angel! Open up now or I'm kicking down this fucking door!" Still no response. "Algunas personas." Vaggie grumbled, as she kicked down the door.

And there he was, just sitting on his fucking bed. "Angel!" She shouted again, but he didn't so much as flinch. She moved forward, seeing that he had that pig in one hand, a phone in the other. Earplugs in his ears muffling out the world around him. "You gotta be fucking kidding me!" Just shout and assault some kid, then ignore the problem? Not on your fucking life punk.

She ripped out one of the bastard's earplugs- "You think you can be a better person? Addict trash like you never changes. See you soon, baby."

"What the-?"

"Hey, get the fuck out of here!" Angel shouted, throwing the phone off to the side as he pushed Vaggie away. "You have no right invading my personal shit-!" He blinked. "Did you break my fucking door!?"

"You weren't answering-"

"Because I said I wanted to be alone!" Angel shouted as the pig in his hands started squealing. He quickly comforts him. "Ssh sssh sssh, it's okay Fat Nuggets, just calm down for me baby, it'll be over soon."

"I-"

"Wait the fuck outside until I get out of here if you're that desperate to scream my head off." He glared.

"… Alright…" Vaggie nodded as she slowly backed away. "Fuuuuuuuuuck..." Great, she thought she had the asshole figured out, and now she felt like a bigger bitch than she already did. She… she just stumbled into personal shit that she shouldn't have.

She waited for about five minutes before Angel walked out, his arms crossed. "Well bitch? Scream away."

"Look… Angel, I-"

"It's my shit to worry about, so whatever you think you heard, drop it." The spider glared. "Now either tell me what the fuck I did wrong, or ask for tips on how your sex life needs spicing up."

Vaggie groaned. Even if she fucked up, Angel was not making it easy to help him. "Look here, prick, I get this is just a free room for you, and I don't expect you to do even the bare minimum at this point."

"Uh huh, uh huh, cause I'm a pornstar who wouldn't even think about getting better, right?" Angel spat back. "You've never thought I had a chance to begin with, why get twisted about it now?"

"Because asshat, Charlie wants to give you a chance when I suggested tossing you out on the streets." She glared. "You went nuts."

"He attacked my pig."

"And the kid's a mentally screwed dumbass." Vaggie meant nothing by it... but to say the kid was smart would be stretching it… actually the brainpower on the kid varied depending on the subject.

"So if he tried to take a bite out of Charlie, being a dumbass makes it alright?"

"Ugh. You do not make this easy."

"Hey, at least I'm not the one falling for that old timey snake's sincere shitshow he's pulling off." Angel Dust rolled his eyes.

"Least he can be sincere."

"You think a fucker flips his dime that fast?" They questioned. "That guy obviously is faking this."

"Takes a fucker to know one." She looked at him with a glare.

"And it's made me the most popular hoe in hell, so I win." Angel called back before grumbling. "Look, I think the redemption shit is stupid, but that doesn't mean I have to like others in that BS like it works. I know you of all people don't want your girl to fall harder than she needs to."

Vaggie sighed. "Well, what do you suggest? He's got his egg creeps everywhere, so we can't exactly sneak up and stare at him all the time."

"Nifty can." Angel shrugged. "We barely keep track of her as it is, and she's got that whole bad boy thing going on."

"You trust Nifty to be against the bad boy?" She asked. "The girl would probably team up with him in order to get blasted in the skull."

"Well the only one that gets close enough to him is the brat, and he's too dumb to notice anything suspicious." Angel rolled his eyes. "And it's not like we can strap a camera to him."

Vaggie blinked. "No, but we can strap an eye on him." Vaggie started walking down the hall.

"You just gonna leave off on a vague note like that!?"

"I'm going to get some cat food!"

"That's even worse!"


Sir Pentious had felt... odd, this last week. At first it was ecstatic glee that the Vs trusted him with a job, then annoyance at having to take being a good person, and now it was... nice? The act was rather easy to pull off, as the princess was desperate for any success, but… being a 'good person'…. It was too easy… to the point it felt… natural.

Even when he wasn't thinking about being a 'good person', apparently his actions were considered good? Like bonding with Suzuki... although Pentious couldn't tell if that was just because Ms. Charlie liked him being nice, or because she had a soft spot for the child.

Though admittedly being kind to the child wasn't very hard either. In fact… it was more like a need he had to accomplish. "Wow, and you made this oven completely run by steam?" Said child lit up with sparkling glee as he gazed upon his many contraptions.

"Yesssss. My mottther alwayssss taught me being sssself reliant issss a noble trait." Pentious nodded. "Thusssss, my firssssst invention involved compresssing already hot ssssteam into a cooker."

"Wow, you must have had a really good mom." The boy nodded.

"Of courssssse. One ssssshould always care for their mottther... unlesssss abusssssive!" He made sure to emphasize.

"I always assumed caring for your parents was just an obligation everyone was stuck with given that they gave birth to you."

"Mmm... more of a payback in my opinion." He answered. "If they care and nurture for you, ssshouldn't sssssuch a favor be returned?"

"Is that why you take care of all the Egg Bois?"

"Why of courssssse. They are my besssstesssst minionssss in all the world... even if they sssay inssssane shhhit every now and then."

"Nine Eleven was a lie!"

"Deep Throat was never found!"

"The death of an owl will bring on an eternal eclipse!"

"Ssssso it'sssss not flawlessssss." Pentious noted. "But… one can't help but ffffffform a bond, even iffff somethhhhhhingsss not perffffect"

"I see …" The human nodded along. "I think you should hold off on making more though, Charlie and Vaggie were complaining about the large number in the hotel."

… Right, time for evil plans to be put in motion. "Pardon me, Young Iruma, but would it be a bother if you placcce thissss camera on a bookssssshelf sssssomewhere, preffffffferably in a way no one can ffffffind or sssssseeee it?"

"Not at all." The boy smiled, taking it.

"… No quesssstionsss?" Pentious asked.

"I mean I get it, you want to keep an eye on everyone cause new people are scary." He responded. "… Also Nifty."

"Thhhhhhat… issss a valid point." He usually felt the woman staring at him from the vents.

"I used to feel the same way about most people." Iruma nodded with understanding and kindness. "I mean, I'm in hell, it's kind of natural to not trust anybody, especially when you're around someone like Alastor a lot… but eventually… you get to the point where… in spite of everything… you just… click with people you didn't know you could connect with."

… What was this feeling in his chest? That twisting and gnashing... so hurtful and wrong... "Iruma, I-"

"Got you, asshole!" Without warning, Sir Pentious was tackled down by that slutty spider.

"Angel Dust!" Suzuki shouted. "I know you're mad about earlier, but please don't-"

"This isn't about you, idiot! This dickbag's a fucking spy for the Vs!"

"He …" The boy looked concerned. "What?"

"We got suspicious." Vagatha entered, walking up to the child while glaring at Pentious. "So we planted a little spy of our own."

"What-Iruma?"

"I don't know what's going on." The boy said honestly.

"Which was what we were counting on." The moth demon nodded as she pointed to the kid's tie… which undid itself and morphed into…

"We havvvvvee a cat on the premissssses?" Sir Pentious questioned. "I ffffffeeeeel like we'vvvveee would'vvvvve noticcced earlier."

"Oh, it's KeeKee." Suzuki noted. "… Wait, how long was she my tie?"

"Long enough for us to figure out this asshole was a rat!" The spider shouted, pinning him down.

"Rat, where!?" Nifty shouted as she crawled out of the vents, looking excited and bloodthirsty. "Where's the rat I need to stab!?"

"Right here-" Pentious punched the slut in the face. "-FUCK!"

"Abort, abort!" He shouted into the watch as he tried jumping out of a window.

"Wait, Pentious-!" Iruma called out, holding on to him. "At least explain-!"

"What's going on here?" The princess walked in… with Alastor right behind her.

"Pentious was a spy for the Vs." Vagatha showed off the camera. "He was going to have Iruma plant this V-tech camera somewhere hidden, and I'm guessing Alastor wouldn't have done a thing about it."

"Mmm, maybe. Vox IS a bit of a hack, but then again if he picked gutter trash like this that got caught planting just one bug, then clearly he has terrible taste in entertainment and work."

"Pentious…." Charlie looked at him… with disappointment. And it hurt, it hurt like nothing else. "Is this true?"

"Uh… ah…" There was only one thing to do. "Agent Pentious in danger, I've been spotted!" He turned to his communication watch. "Ssssend backup, send retrieval!"

"Backup? You didn't even do your fucking job! You had a week to place ONE camera, fucker!" The man argued.

"And that misplaced trust proves why I always get more listeners." Alastor smirked.

"WATCH IT reindeer games, you'll get your turn eventually!"

"Never going to happen, old pal."

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Vox's face popped out of the screen and shocked Pentious. "If they don't kill you, go ahead and do it yourself!"

… He... betrayed everyone... he had nothing... he... "One... requessssst." Pentious lowered his hat. "Make it quick."

"… Why would you trust Vox?" Iruma questioned. "I thought it was pretty obvious that guy was a jerk like Alastor from his tv shows?"

"In what way like me?"

"A guy that hurts people for fun."

"…. You escape my wrath for today, Suzuki... but never compare me to that cheap low quality hack again."

"Understood sir."

"I…. I just wanted a channnceee… to be worthhhhh ssssssomething…. I sssssseeee thhhhat it was horrrribly misssplacccced."

"Gonna be worth a lot when you're dead." The spider glared, pulling out a gun as the moth woman glared.

"I... I won't fight you…. I… I'll accccept whatever comessss my way." Whether that be being eaten… torn apart… or… killed forever… it wasn't like he was worth anything to anybody now.

Ms. Morningstar walked forward... holding onto his hand. "It starts with "sorry"." The princess stated gently, holding his hand.

"… What?" He questioned, feeling confusion.

"That's your foot in the door, one simple "sorry"." She continued. "Spoken straight from your core." The kind woman pulled him up. "The path to forgiveness is a twisting trail of hearts….." Pink smoke spread as she danced, making Sir Pentious feel warm. "But "sorry" is where it starts."

"You gotta be shittin me." Angel Dust groaned.

"I mean, sorry does go a long way in a place like hell from my experience." The boy nodded.

"Who could forgive a dirtbag like me?" Pentious questioned. "I don't deserve your amnesty." He betrayed all their trust... such kind people.

"See, the lisp is gone completely." Iruma pointed out.

"Can't we just kill him?" Vagatha and Angel Dust questioned. "Shoot him and spill his blood?"

"Wait, you're not going to use the spear are you?" The boy winced in fright.

"That's an option you could choose." The princess spoke with hesitance.

"Works for us." The woman did in fact aim her spear, clearly intent on ending him.

"But who hasn't been in his shoes?" Iruma spoke up, getting looks from the group. "It starts with "sorry"."

"Sorry...?" Was it that easy? Could he move on that quickly... to earn all their trust again?

"Dig down deeper and say one sincere "sorry"." Charlie pleaded.

"I'm so sorry!" He let out a tear as he fell to the ground, but Iruma caught him before he could.

"And your journey's underway." The human boy smiled.

"It'll take time to cover your vast multitude of sins!" Ms. Morningstar admitted.

"It'll take time to cover my vast multitude of sins!" He agreed.

"But "sorry" is where it begins… !" Both Charlie and Iruma held him up… they cared for him... they believed in him. "It starts with "sorry"." Maybe… maybe he could believe in himself too.

"DAMN IT!" The tiny roach woman screamed. "You became a pussy!" She kicked his tail angrily, before storming off. "Not a bad boy!"

"Ow…" Pentious winced.

"Welp, we stole one of Vox's workers as a form of entertainment. My day is made." Alastor smiled as he vanished into the shadows.

"… Ssssso… you're willing… ttttruly willing to givvve me another chaaaancccee?" He asked tentatively.

"Everyone deserves a second chance." Charlie smiled brightly.

"I've gave both Millie and Emily second chances... and now they're my family." Iruma nodded. "And even the time you kidnapped me you didn't plan on torturing me, so that already puts you high on my friend list." The human smiled.

"Unfucking believable." The spider grumbled.

"I know you were looking out for us, Angel... thank you." Charlie nodded to the pornstar. "That was a really good thing you did. I'm proud of you."

The spider had a flush of pink overcome the white fur on his face before he turned his back. "Well whatever. Someone's got to have a brain around this joint, and it sure as hell ain't going to be the brat."

"True, I'm not the smartest." The boy chuckled. "Thank you Angel Dust. And sorry about the pig again."

The spider groaned. "Just… stay out of my room." The spider walked off.

"Wow, the pornstar can have a heart." Vagatha smirked.

"Seee, what did I tell you?" Charlie grinned. "Everyone grows at their own pace. And it just took touchy love to get there."

"Yeah yeah yeah.." The moth girl rolled her eye. "… You don't have any more dangerous tech stored up, right?" She asked him.

"No no, nothing more than the common death raysssss, heat raysssss, and cannonsssss that everyone has jussssst in cassse of emergencccccccciesssss."

The group stared at him for a moment. "If it's any consolation, I've never seen the imps unarmed, so he's partially right." Iruma nodded.

"Okay, first order of business on your official first day of rehabilitation." Charlie smiled. "Cleaning up your mess by dismantling all your weapons!" This may have been a mistake.