Despicable Me: The Project Chapter 1

''Hello, I'm Margo Wilde-Gru, and this is a documentary of our adventures. That's my mom, Lucy'' said Margo into the camcorder. ''Hi!'' said Lucy. ''My little sisters, Edith and Agnes. My uncle, Dru. Our pet goat, Lucky. The Minions'' said Margo. ''Hey, how ya doin'?'' asked Dru. Edith stuck out her tongue and made a funny face, ''Nuuurgh!''. ''Hi!'' said Agnes. Lucky bleated. The minions spoke in Minionese, and one said "Bello" and waved. ''And that's my dad, Felonious Gru'' added Margo. ''It's just Gru. Nobody calls me "Felonious" said Gru, offended. ''What's the matter, Felonious?'' asked Dru. Edith, Agnes and the minions all laughed. ''That's not on film, is it?'' scowled Gru. ''Somethin' wrong, Felonious?'' teased Lucy. Margo chuckled. ''Felonious, Felonious, Felonious! Your first name is Felonious!'' mocked Edith. ''Yes it is'' sighed Gru. one minion said "Felonious" in Minionese.

Dru, Lucy, Margo, Edith, Agnes and the minions all laughed. Lucky bleated with laughter. ''Grrrrrrr...'' growled Gru. ''A Staple for every pet goat! Goat mix!'' called Agnes holding a bag of goat food. Lucky Bleated in happiness. The Gru family went about asking people about the woods. ''Have you heard anything about these woods being haunted?'' Lucy asked a man. ''Well, my grandparents used to tell a story about some ten foot tall monster wondering the woods. Just crazy talk really'' replied the man. Another man said, ''It was right behind us. It was big. It was yellow. It was hideous or something. I don't know what you want to call it. There was a blast of its fire breath to it. It was just over the ridge there. The eyes are bright, demonic red. Just glowing, burning, freakish eyes. Vile engineering. Genetic. Nutation's. I don't know what's going on but trouble me''. ''I've heard about a monster'' said a third man, ''Of some King of Dark Lands that exists around here''. ''A giant beast about the nuclear plant that kids say eats off astro lives, off stray dogs, but I don't know. I don't believe that stuff'' said a woman. Later the family was driving to the woods. ''It just doesn't add up when it comes to a . . .'' said Margo, but she was cut off by Edith shouting ''COW!''. ''No, not a cow'' said Margo. ''No, a cow in the road!'' said Agnes pointing. ''Gru, Gru, Gru, stop!'' cried Lucy. The car stopped in front of the cow just in time. The cow mooed. ''Arrrgh! You have GOT to be kidding me!'' groaned Gru. After getting the cow off the road, he found a place in the woods to park his airship once they finally arrived.

''The map says the sightings are that way'' said Lucy. ''Are you sure?'' asked Margo. ''I'm positive'' replied Lucy. ''I got a bad feeling about this. These woods don't look like the regular woods we go to. They look different'' said Dru. ''Whatcha talkin' 'bout, uncle Dru?'' asked Edith. ''I dunno. Things just look more realistic'' replied Dru. ''Come on. It will be fun. Don't forget we got another thing coming tomorrow'' said Gru. ''We're now leaving the car and going into the woods'' said Margo into the camcorder. ''Bye, car!'' said everyone.

''Why do we have to do these things when it's almost dark?'' asked Dru. ''Hey, a cemetery! Wicked cool! Maybe we get to see zombies!'' said Edith. ''That's really entertaining. Can we go now?'' asked Dru.

''No, we're gonna camp here'' replied Lucy. ''Camp here?! By a cemetery?! Have you all lost your mind?!'' said Dru in disbelief. ''OK, now we're going to put up the tent before it gets too dark'' said Lucy. ''I'm gonna keep rolling to see the laws of nature'' said Dru. ''Dru, turn off the camera. It might be easier without it'' said Gru. ''But I don't wanna miss the valuable nature of . . .'' Dru protested. ''TURN IT OFF!'' shouted Gru, Lucy, Margo, Edith and Agnes. Once they were inside the tent, everyone struggled for some space. ''Ow!'' yelped Edith. ''Girls, don't push each other!'' hissed Gru. ''Hey, watch it!'' said Margo. ''Urgh! Who put all these snack crumbs in my sleeping bag? Lucky?'' said Lucy. Lucky bleated "no" in protest and pointed to one of the minions. The minion shook his head, ''Uh-uh!'' he pointed to Edith, ''Hm!''. ''Nu-uh! It must be Agnes!'' said Edith.

''It wasn't me'' squeaked Agnes. ''I know! Gru, did it!'' cried Dru. ''Uhhh...maybe it's Lucy'' said Gru. ''Now why would I complain if it was me?'' wondered Lucy. ''I'm going on a trip to the moon. Except I wouldn't steal it like my brother did by shrinking it with the Shrink-Ray. I'm taking an apple, a banana, and . . . uh . . . custard pies, and . . . donuts. That was a good one, guys. Your turn now. Uh...guys? Guys?'' said Dru, but everyone was snoozing and Lucky was snoring. There was a deep rumbling growl. ''What's that sound?'' asked Edith. Then there was the sound of snarling. ''Get the camera!'' said Margo urgently. They heard a low growl this time. ''What is that?'' asked Lucy. ''Let's stay close and check it out'' said Gru. ''No way!'' said Dru. Now they could hear bellowing and roaring. ''I'm scared'' whimpered Agnes.

''Will someone go out there to make that noise go away?'' hyperventilated Lucy, ''Somebody? Anybody?''. ''Are you nuts?!'' said Dru. ''It not better be Bowser. If it is, I ain't scared of him!'' said Gru. The roaring continued. ''We're in the middle of the woods!'' quivered Dru. There was some more sounds of growling and thunderous, booming footsteps fading away. ''Look out here, guys. There's a pile of sandwiches!'' said Lucy. ''Oooh. Sandwiches. I forgot about those'' said Dru going over to them. ''Dru! Hold on! We don't know . . .'' Lucy began, ''AAAH! OH, NO! NOOOOOO!'' hollered Dru. ''WHAT?! WHAT IS IT?!'' demanded Lucy. ''They're stale! They're all completely stale!'' said Dru. The next day, the Gru family tried to find their way back to the airship and after what felt like they'd been walking for an hour. There was still no sign of the vehicle and no one could remember where they had left it.