Chapter 40 – Zhao's big scary audit
"So, to make sure there are no misunderstandings, Zhao will arrive in Caldera City on Wednesday," Ozai Nakamura spoke, his face looking paler than usual on the screen of Azula's laptop. Azula was sharing a sofa with Zuko during this Teams meeting with their father, but they made sure to maintain a respectful distance from each other. "I suggested to Zhao that he should start with auditing your restaurant first, Azula. At least you don't have a history of punching the man."
"Not yet," Azula replied brightly. She may not have history of punching Zhao Sakamoto, but she definitely had history of stepping on his foot with her stiletto heel and also kneeing him in the balls. Zhao had earned it on each occasion for being way too loose with his hands. "I mean, we will be happy to receive Zhao at The Northern Lights, father," she added politely.
"Of course," Ozai nodded. "Zuko, I trust there will be no fisticuffs this time around."
"That depends entirely on Zhao himself," Zuko muttered.
"What was that?" Ozai frowned.
"I meant to say that we'll be very nice to the old rat-face, father," Zuko recovered.
"Hmph," Ozai muttered. "Well, whatever. I don't really care as long as I receive the results of his financial audit. I'm still waiting for the reviews of my food critic, so make sure not to lose Zhao as well!" Azula and Zuko exchanged slightly nervous stares, sensing the mounting frustration of the family patriarch. "Are you two absolutely sure that you don't know anything about that food critic? It's like he disappeared from the face of the earth!"
"He probably never even made it to The Blue Spirit," Zuko said with certainty. "I suspect he's living it up somewhere on the company dime."
"I have to agree with Zuko," Azula nodded, having managed to overcome her natural aversion to agree with her brother on anything. "I don't think he made it to The Northern Lights, either. Besides, I wouldn't know if he did or not. Remember, neither Zuko nor I know what he looks like."
"I suppose that's true," Ozai shrugged. "Oh well, who cares. I'll be visiting you soon myself. I might as well do an extensive review of your menus once I'm in Caldera." Ozai paused, briefly stroking his beard. "Anyway, that's all I had for you. If there are still any weaknesses in your restaurants, make sure to address them quickly because my inspection of the way you run your business will be thorough and brutal." And with that, Ozai Nakamura disconnected the video call.
Azula reached out and closed the laptop. "Well, that was informative," she shrugged. "Crazy about that food critic, though. What do you think happened to him?" Azula asked, looking at her brother.
"How would I know?" Zuko shrugged. "You heard me speaking to father. The guy never showed up at The Blue Spirit."
"I'm sure he didn't," Azula snorted. The disappearance of the food critic was an incredible stroke of luck for her, because she had fumbled that visit horribly and the critic was sure to give The Northern Lights the worst review in the restaurant's history. Still, having finished his overcooked steak, the critic had eventually left, so there was no reason why he wouldn't have showed up at Zuko's restaurant.
"Speaking of which, you haven't been ordering anything from Bumi's Kebab Palace lately, have you?" Zuko asked.
"Agni, why would I do that?" Azula shuddered. "Especially with those rumors that he'll put just about any meat into his kebabs."
"Yes, those rumors sure are wild," Zuko nodded in agreement.
"Indeed," Azula said, frowning. "Wait… why did you preface that with 'speaking of which'?" Zuko blinked at her. "We were talking about the food critic. You changed the topic to Bumi's Kebab Palace as if it would follow from that."
"Oh," Zuko blinked more furiously. "I just meant… that the food critic would… give Bumi's Kebab Place a way worse review than he would give either of us?"
Azula peered at her brother, feeling very confused. Then she simply shook her head and grabbed the laptop. "Whatever, continue being weird if that's what you want to do," she shrugged, rising from the sofa. "I better get out of here before someone starts a rumor that we can like… tolerate being around each other."
"Ugh, vile lies and slander," Zuko made a face, getting up to follow.
"Mai, I'm leaving, and I assume Zuko is too," Azula announced, poking her head into the drawing room, where Mai was perched on a couch with a book in her hand. Ozai had insisted that he wanted to speak with both Azula and Zuko at the same time, but Azula didn't want to invite Zuko to her apartment, and she definitely wasn't keen on stepping inside Jet's apartment. In the end, they had managed to negotiate Mai's place as a neutral ground, even if Mai was not particularly happy when she was informed about the arrangement.
"So, you're finally done simping to daddy," Mai smirked, setting her book aside and coming over to join them. "I hope it went terribly."
"Ouch, that's a lot of vitriol, what gives," Zuko frowned.
"Well, since we're no longer dating, I no longer have to be overly mindful of your feelings, Zuko," Mai snorted. "Now I can freely say that Ozai Nakamura is a terrible human being."
"I'm not sure I prefer you this way," Zuko muttered. "I really liked it when you were validating this toxic parental relationship Azula and I have with our father."
"Are you saying you want me back as your enabling girlfriend?" Mai chuckled. Azula also had to laugh when Zuko's face turned bright red and he began to sputter. "Yeah, I don't know if I'm available, Zuko. Also, even if I were, I don't think I would go back to pretending that the way Ozai keeps you both on a leash is good or even normal."
"You're certainly entitled to your opinion," Azula shrugged.
"I'm entitled to my opinion?" Mai turned to face her, looking surprised. "Well, isn't that generous? You're having second thoughts, aren't you? Because Azula of old would be all in my face, getting defensive on daddy's behalf, if she had heard me talking smack about Ozai Nakamura."
"Whatever," Azula shrugged again. "I don't have to justify myself to you, Mai." Azula tried her best not to show how disturbed she was upon inwardly realizing that there was a surprising lack of willingness to fight over this characterization of Ozai, and her relationship with him.
"You're weak, Azula," Mai snapped before turning to Zuko. "And so are you, Zuko. But that's fine. Just crawl back to Jet. I'm sure he'll tell you everything you want to hear."
"That's unfair, Mai, and you know it," Zuko protested.
"Anyway, it's mighty big of you to criticize our relationship with Ozai, when you haven't really stood up to your own parents in any meaningful way," Azula snapped, watching how Mai's cheek trembled slightly from her words, making Azula realize that she had scored a hit. "But I don't want to part on bad terms," Azula offered magnanimously. "Thank you for allowing us to use your apartment, Mai. You're a good friend."
"Yes, thank you, Mai," Zuko nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow at the restaurant."
"Right… catch you later, dumbasses," Mai quickly recovered to flash a brief smile before closing the door behind the two siblings.
Azula and Zuko walked down the stairs in silence, heading towards their cars in the parking lot. "Do you think there might be something to what she said?" Zuko finally broke the silence when they had almost reached the parking lot.
"Nah," Azula spoke dismissively, deciding to placate Zuko with a quick lie. "There's nothing whatsoever to it. Mai is just projecting her own daddy issues onto us. Think nothing of it, Zuzu."
"Alright… if you say so," Zuko frowned, not looking fully convinced.
"I do say so," Azula nodded, opening the doors of her car. "I'll see you later, brother… hopefully when father presents me with the prize for winning our competition."
As promised, Zhao Sakamoto arrived in Caldera City on Wednesday, and shortly before opening for Thursday's lunch, Zhao's unwelcome face made an appearance at The Northern Lights restaurant. The mood around the place was a little tense after Azula had taken her time to stress to the staff just how important Zhao's financial audit was in terms of the competition between her and Zuko. The tension was not quite on the same level as with the mysterious food critic, but still, Azula's friends and coworkers looked a little uneasy as they anticipated Zhao's arrival. It was clear that Azula's characterization of Zhao had immediately made some of her friends adopt an antagonistic stance towards her father's personal accountant, but it wasn't as if Azula had in any way exaggerated Zhao's character flaws in her stories about him.
From the way Katara and Yue reacted to Zhao's arrival, Azula deduced that if Zhao had decided to sit down and order some food, he would definitely be at risk of Katara or Yue accidentally spilling hot soup in his lap. With the two Water Tribe girls always wearing their hearts on their sleeves, neither of them could disguise their obvious disapproval and dislike of Zhao Sakamoto as Azula led him through the dining room and into the manager's office where he was to carry out his financial audit of the establishment.
While Azula had enjoyed working the front of the house with Katara very much, she was still delighted to have Yue back with them. Azula wasn't quite as deluded as not to realize that she didn't have Yue's charming tableside manner that had made her such a beloved feature of The Northern Lights, and a part of the reason why they were quickly developing a growing base of regular customers. On her part, Yue seemed rejuvenated by her vacation with Suki, and the way the cruise had brought the two women even closer, solidifying their relationship and making them inseparable. The only slight drawback of that memorable vacation was Yue still having to occasionally chase off some irritating reporter trying to get close to Kya, looking for a scoop regarding the anti-terrorism activities of Yue's daughter.
Lately, Azula was struggling to understand where things stood between her and Katara. Katara was still all but living with Azula at her apartment, and they were having passionate sex on the regular, so everything appeared to be going well. Still, Azula couldn't fight off the nagging sensation that something wasn't quite right. It was almost as if Katara was just a little emotionally distant? The faint sensation was difficult to quantify, but it was a feeling that persisted ever since that fateful phone call with her father that Azula had chosen to answer at the most inopportune time. Katara had accepted her apology, but Azula felt as if she hadn't been fully forgiven. But it wasn't as if she could bring up any of this to Katara because she had nothing concrete apart from a gut feeling, and that gut feeling was telling Azula that maybe Katara was simply starting to become bored of her.
After returning from her vacation, Suki had been pleased to learn that she had been ably covered by the combined efforts of Toph, Aang and Mingxia. Still, everyone around the restaurant was happy to have their head chef back with them, with Toph and Aang slotting back into their regular assignments and Mingxia returning to The Jasmine Dragon to resume her mentorship with Ursa. Just like Yue, Suki was brimming with energy following their shared vacation, and soon after her return, the kitchen was firing on all cylinders, working with previously unseen efficiency.
It was probably a good idea that Zhao had not requested a tour of the restaurant, because just like in the dining room, he would not have found any friends in the kitchen of The Northern Lights. Azula figured that she would probably have to take care of Zhao's meals personally, because she couldn't trust her friends in the kitchen not to make Zhao's order revolting on purpose.
Sokka had been a little bemused that even though he was the acting general manager, Azula had made it clear that she didn't want him involved in her dealings with Zhao. Still, Sokka hadn't made a fuss regarding Azula's decision to handle Zhao all on her own, in fact, he had looked rather relieved about the whole thing. Sokka was comfortable with numbers, and he seemed happy to do the managerial tasks, but it was clear that his heart truly lay in the practical hands-on tasks around the restaurant. Recently, Sokka was spending most of his time renovating a part of the basement, after the two owners had agreed with Azula's suggestion to set up a little bakery of their own. There were savings to be made by not buying most of the baked goods ready made from The Jasmine Dragon, especially because in a few months they would have a professionally trained baker available for hire.
With everyone else going about their daily tasks at the restaurant, it was left to Azula to entertain Zhao as he was going through a pot of coffee at a slightly alarming rate, poring through their financial records and doing his accounting magic, honed across many years of helping Ozai Nakamura dodge paying most of his taxes.
"So," Azula began, having kept quiet while Zhao was typing away on his laptop. Azula had little to fear when it came to the financial figures of the restaurant, but Zhao's methods and past behavior still filled her with anxiety. "How are things looking?" she asked.
"Well, your records appear to be in good order, not that I expected anything else," Zhao replied, only shooting her the briefest of glances. "I'm already preparing myself for the chaos that awaits me at Zuko's restaurant," Zhao added, shuddering.
"I don't think Zuko does his own bookkeeping, though," Azula snorted. "I agree that if he tried to do it, it would descend into utter chaos."
"Quite so," Zhao nodded. "In any case, I've only just started. It's too early for me to make any conclusions, although I did expect these numbers to be stronger."
"What do you mean?" Azula asked nervously, walking up to Zhao so that she could peek into his laptop. "I hope you're aware that we were in a major financial hole when I started working here."
"I'm aware, and I'm not denying that you've made a good recovery, but is it good enough to impress your father? Who's to say?" Zhao clicked his tongue, then looking up at Azula with a sleezy grin on his lips. "By the way, I heard that you broke up with that loser Chan."
"That's ancient history," Azula shrugged.
"Well, it was inevitable," Zhao nodded sagely. "I always knew that you needed a real man, not a boy."
"Oh really," Azula's eyebrows rose. "And I suppose you have some ideas about the kind of man that I need?"
"Someone like me, obviously," Zhao stated confidently. Azula burst into laughter. Zhao glared at her. "What's so funny about that? I've got the charm, the looks, the experience, I'm held in high esteem by your father. You could do way worse than me, babe," Zhao added, wrapping his arm around Azula's waist. "Also, I can make this financial audit appear really glowing. But… I can also make it appear rather miserable."
"Ah, Zhao, you're always so predictable with your blackmailing schemes," Azula grinned, reaching upwards as if to stroke the side of Zhao's face, but then removing her hand at the last moment, much to Zhao's visible disappointment.
"I notice you're not saying no, though," Zhao tried to rally.
"Well, I have to weigh my options first, don't I?" Azula smirked.
"I hope you'll make the right de-" Zhao suddenly stopped speaking, sniffing the air. "Hmm, what's that smell? Is that coming from the kitchen? Damn, it's making me hungry."
"Actually, that's your beard burning," Azula laughed, stepping away from Zhao. "I just set it on fire."
"Aah! Help! Help, put it out, put it out!" Zhao yelled as his beard well and truly caught fire. His panicked running back and forth along the small office was definitely making things worse, not better.
"Stand still so I can put it out then!" Azula shouted, having retrieved the fire extinguisher and preparing it for use. Zhao finally got a grip on his panic and managed to stop himself, even if he was already badly singed and in terrible pain. Azula then quickly covered Zhao in firefighting foam, continuing to spray him well after the fire had been put out, not stopping until she had achieved the desired effect. Azula then set the fire extinguisher aside, picked up her phone and snapped several candid pictures of Zhao. "I know Summer Solstice is many months away, but you look like you're already getting into the spirit of the season."
"You're going to pay for this," Zhao hissed, busy wiping the foam away. "I'm going to make this audit report as unflattering as I possibly can!"
"I don't think you will, though," Azula stated confidently.
"Why wouldn't I?" Zhao glared at her.
"Because I anticipated that you will get up to something like this, and so I asked three highly reputable Caldera City accountants to do their own independent audits a few days ago," Azula smirked. "By the way, their reports are quite glowing. If you dare to submit anything worse than their reports to my father, I will not hesitate to expose your schemes. When my father sees reports from three reputable auditors disagreeing with your findings, he will know that you're lying to him, Zhao. And you will lose all of my father's trust. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you?"
Zhao was shaking with rage, but had to back down eventually. "You think you're so smart, but one day even you will slip up, Azula, and that will be my moment to pounce," Zhao threatened. "But fine… you have won this round. I'm man enough to admit when I'm defeated," Zhao said, reaching out to grab his laptop. "I'll finish my report at the hospital's burn unit, you ungrateful little witch." And with that, Zhao sighed and headed for the doors.
"Don't forget to ask for that nice arnica cream, Zhao," Azula smirked triumphantly, waving goodbye to her old nemesis. "I heard it heals all wounds!"
The whole financial audit nuisance had definitely started off on the wrong foot for Zuko and The Blue Spirit restaurant. Just before the lunch service, some clean-shaven Fire Nation gentleman with awful facial burns had showed up at the restaurant, claiming to be Zhao Sakamoto. Zuko had laughed in his face before together with Jet escorting the man from the premises, not shying away from liberal use of violence. Shortly afterwards, Zuko had received a phone call from a very amused Ozai Nakamura, shouting at him to let Zhao in and allow his father's personal accountant to start the auditing process.
Obviously, by then Zhao was already in a very rotten mood, not at all happy with the treatment he had received from Zuko and Jet. Zuko had been forced to offer some very humiliating apologies and then go out of his way to do whatever it took to soothe Zhao's temper and make sure that Ozai Nakamura's personal accountant did not absolutely screw him over with an unfavorable financial report.
It was now late in the afternoon, and over the six hours that Zhao had spent at the restaurant, he appeared to have done very little, while completely paralyzing their operations and forcing them to shut down the service. Zhao was currently set up in the manager's office, having ejected Mai and Ruon-Jian, but instead of working hard on his laptop, he was receiving a foot bath and massage from Jin and a vigorous shoulder rub from Ty Lee. Zhao had also put a strain on the kitchen by forcing Zuko and On Ji to prepare one complicated snack or cocktail after another, and then Zhao demanded that On Ji hand feed him as he worked. He had also insisted that On Ji change out of her chef's clothing and slip into a sexy waitress uniform to match Jin and Ty Lee. Needless to say, the girls were absolutely pissed off about this treatment, and Zuko had been forced to throw massive wads of cash at all three of them, just to stop them from walking out.
Still, there were no expenses that Zuko considered too high in exchange for a favorable audit report, especially if it trumped the financial report of Azula's restaurant. So, Zuko was resolved to do whatever it took to make Zhao and also the restaurant's staff happy, even if it cost him an arm and a leg. Currently, Zuko was hanging out in the kitchen, with only Jet for company. Some twenty minutes ago, Zuko and On Ji had finished working on a very complicated ice cream dessert that On Ji then brought to Zhao. It was a blessed relief to have a little lull from Zhao's endless requests, but Zuko did not doubt that many more requests would follow.
It wasn't long before On Ji returned to the kitchen, and when she did so, Zuko's sous chef appeared rather disheveled, the top of her waitress uniform liberally covered with ice cream stains. "What happened?" Zuko blinked.
"Exactly what you would expect," On Ji scowled. "He wanted me, Jin and Ty Lee to eat that ice cream dessert off each other's tits."
"The scoundrel!" Jet gasped, shaking his fist dramatically. "I cannot believe he would do that!"
"Why are you acting so affronted?" Zuko shrugged, glancing at his sort of boyfriend. "It's not like you to take allegations of sexual misconduct seriously."
"Oh, it's not about that," Jet shrugged. "I'm just pissed that I didn't get to see it."
"Ugh, you're almost as much of a pig as Zhao," On Ji sighed. "Anyway, Zuko, we're going to need more money for tolerating something like that."
"Of course," Zuko winced, retrieving his much suffering wallet and fishing out three fifty-dollar banknotes to be distributed between On Ji, Jin and Ty Lee. On Ji quickly grabbed the money and pocketed it.
"Thanks," On Ji flashed him a quick grin. "Anyway, I'm going to do a quick uniform swap because this one is all sticky."
"Alright… I'm just glad that there are currently no more requests from Zhao," Zuko remarked hopefully. Much to his relief, On Ji nodded at him. "Great, let's hope that he finally does some actual work now."
"Oh, I wouldn't count on that," On Ji rolled her eyes. "After we were done with the ice cream performance, he dashed off and locked himself in the men's bathroom. There were some freakish grunting noises coming from it when I walked past."
"Well, can't say I blame the guy after getting a show like that," Jet chuckled.
"Gross," Zuko shuddered. The mental image of Zhao jerking off in the bathroom of his restaurant was definitely something he neither needed nor deserved. "That rat-faced asshole is going to ruin me financially before we're done with this stupid audit," Zuko groused after On Ji had left him alone with Jet.
"It's definitely messed up, but what other options do we have other than to go along with whatever he asks for?" Jet wondered, also not looking pleased.
"I don't know… yet," Zuko admitted forlornly as the kitchen doors opened yet again and the representation of all his troubles strode in, Zhao Sakamoto looking very smug and spry in his step. "Zhao… how is that audit coming along?" Zuko grumbled. "Isn't it about time you did some actual work?"
"The audit is coming along well," Zhao chuckled amiably. "These things can't be rushed, my boy. And also, remember, the better time I have while working, the better that end report will look for you."
"That's what you keep saying, but in the meantime, I'm getting financially buttfucked," Zuko scowled. "Can you at least not occupy my waitresses and my sous chef so that we can actually open the place tomorrow?"
"Hmm, that would decrease the quality of my stay here, though," Zhao smirked. "No, I believe I will require their services until I have finished my work on the report. Chin up, Zuko. I usually don't take more than a week with my auditing."
"A whole bloody week?!" Zuko roared. "Are you insane, man? This will ruin us financially!"
"Well… boy," Zhao turned on Zuko, facing him with a nasty glare. "Perhaps you should have considered it when you punched me in the face that time during your father's birthday party. Oh yes, Zuko, I haven't forgotten. I have earned the right to live it up here for a week on your dime, boy."
"You were hitting on my girlfriend!" Zuko shouted angrily. "You were literally drooling all over Mai!"
"You knocked out two of my teeth and broke my rib!" Zhao spat back. "Hardly deserved for a little bit of innocent flirting, and by the way, your girlfriend was very receptive. And now that she's your ex-girlfriend, I may just decide to take it way further than simple flirting," Zhao laughed, turning to walk away.
"You asshole!" Zuko yelled, grabbing the nearest object which turned out to be a frying pan and smashing the back of Zhao's head with it. Zhao went down in a limp, unconscious heap.
"Damn it, not again!" Jet exclaimed in panic, dashing over to where Zhao had fallen. "You can't just keep knocking out people who piss you off, Zuko!"
The frying pan fell out from the fingers of a shocked Zuko, landing on the floor with a loud clatter. "Nonsense, man, I never touched him," Zuko exclaimed defensively.
"Yeah, but the frying pan did, and you were touching it at the time," Jet rolled his eyes. "Shit, I hope we won't have to call Bumi's Kebab Palace again. At this rate, I think we should ask for some kind of loyalty discount."
"Maybe he's not dead," Zuko suggested just as Mai and Ruon-Jian rushed into the kitchen. With Zhao having occupied the manager's office and the restaurant closed down, the two of them had been working in the dining room, probably overhearing the commotion in the kitchen.
"What happened?" Mai demanded upon her arrival on the scene.
"Sweet Agni, you killed Mr. Sakamoto!" Ruon-Jian panicked, pointing at Zhao's corpse.
"Actually, it was the frying pan that done it," Jet snorted. "Anyway, he might not be dead. Zuko was just about to check."
"Ugh, fine," Zuko rolled his eyes before dropping onto his knees and performing a quick examination of the body on the floor. There was both a faint heartbeat and breathing, so Zhao was clearly still alive. "He's going to be alright," Zuko let out a sigh of relief, getting up to his feet.
"Which is more than can be said about us," Jet pointed out. "Once Zhao comes to, he's going to annihilate us. Not only will he make a terrible audit report to bury us, he'll probably also call the cops."
"So, are you saying that we should just-" Zuko began hesitantly.
"Wait, what were you going to say?" Mai interrupted him, looking scandalized. "Were you really about to suggest that we should just finish him off?" Ruan-Jian gasped at Mai's words, dramatically clutching his chest.
"No?" Zuko protested fervently. "I would never suggest something so… awful? You of all people should know that killing people is… bad?"
"Bad or not, this still leaves us in a major pickle," Jet said. "If anyone has an idea, I'm sure we'd all love to hear it."
"Hmm," Mai hummed, giving Zhao's limp frame a dirty stare. "I might have something."
"Really?" Zuko asked, looking hopefully at his ex-girlfriend. "What's the plan, Mai?"
"There's no time to explain everything, so I'm just going to tell you what I need you and Jet to do," Mai replied hastily. "Stay here and watch over Zhao. If he starts to stir, knock him out again. Basically, I need you two to keep him unconscious until I tell you otherwise. Can you do that?"
"Sounds good to me," Jet shrugged. "Of course, you have to understand that neither I nor Zuko will be assaulting Zhao again, but the frying pan sure will."
"True," Zuko nodded, grinning. "This might even be enjoyable. But I would feel better knowing what your plan is, Mai."
"You will know in good time, Zuko," Mai promised. "Right now, I must hurry, and I need you to come with me," she said, grabbing Ruon-Jian's arm. "It's time to roll up our sleeves and get cracking."
Over the next couple of hours, Zuko and Jet kept watching Zhao like a pair of bloodthirsty hawks. Every time Zhao began to stir, they would use the frying pan to knock Zhao unconscious yet again. At some point, Jin, On Ji and Ty Lee had also joined them in the kitchen, and they were definitely very eager to bash Zhao's head in with the frying pan. By the time Mai and Ruon-Jian returned almost two full hours later, carrying Zhao's laptop and a stack of printed sheets, they had already smacked Zhao five more times. Zuko wasn't sure how many more hits Zhao could take before suffering permanent brain damage.
"Alright, we're done," Mai announced. "You can start reviving him."
"Not before you tell us what you and Ruon were working on," Zuko insisted.
"Well, we pooled together our accountancy knowledge and created this," Mai pointed at the stack of printed sheets. "An extremely glowing financial audit of The Blue Spirit restaurant, compiled by Zhao Sakamoto."
"Nice!" Zuko cheered. His joy deflated almost instantly, though. "Wait, won't Zhao remember that it's not his report?"
"Well, that depends on how hard you struck him," Mai shrugged. "We can always pummel him some more, if necessary." The statement drew many cheers from Jin, On Ji and Ty Lee.
"I guess we can do that," Zuko shrugged. He then gave Jet an expectant stare before pointing at Zhao's limp body. "Alright, Jet, give him the kiss of life."
"I think not," Jet frowned. "You hit him first, you should do it."
"I don't want to," Zuko protested. "Coin toss?" he asked. Jet looked annoyed, but eventually nodded, pulling out a coin. "Tails," Zuko said, pumping his fist when Jet revealed the coin to show that Zuko had won the toss.
"Ugh, disgusting," Jet grumbled as he got down to his knees and started doing some chest compressions on Zhao. "This would be way less disturbing if the fucker still had his resplendent beard to cover his ugliness," he complained before doing some very reluctant mouth to mouth that eventually forced Zhao to reawaken with a loud gasp.
"My head…" Zhao groaned. "Where am I?"
"Don't you remember?" Zuko asked, together with Jet supporting Zhao as he carefully got up from the floor.
"Ugh, Zuko Nakamura? What are you doing here?" Zhao fumed.
"You're in my restaurant, Zhao," Zuko reminded helpfully. "My father sent you to Caldera to do an audit of The Blue Spirit, remember?"
"An audit?" Zhao blinked, scratching his head. Recognition slowly began to dawn in his eyes the longer he thought. "Oh yes, that's right… the audit. I guess I better get around to it…"
"But you already finished your audit, Mr. Sakamoto," Mai piped up, pointing at the stack of papers she had produced together with Ruon-Jian.
"Really?" Zhao looked surprised. "I don't remember having finished it." He scratched his head yet again. "Come to think of it, I have a hard time remembering anything. What happened? Why did I end up on your kitchen floor in such a state?" Zhao demanded.
"You really don't remember?" Zuko asked while frantically trying to come up with some kind of cover story. "You must have hit your head harder than we thought."
"I'll tell you exactly what happened, Mr. Sakamoto," Mai interjected. It looked like Mai had an idea, and since Zuko was still drawing blanks, he was willing to let his ex-girlfriend take over. "You had just finished your very successful audit of our restaurant, so we decided to throw a party in your honor. During the party, Jet challenged you to a limbo competition."
"I did?" Jet blinked, but shut up when Zuko stepped on his foot.
"Yes, Jet challenged you to a limbo competition, and you actually managed to beat him, Mr. Sakamoto," Mai continued insistently. "But then you decided to show off, went too low and lost your balance. The next thing we knew, you had knocked yourself out on the floor."
"Well… that explains the pounding headache," Zhao winced, touching the back of his head, covered with nasty looking bumps. "I wonder what possessed me to accept a limbo challenge."
"Half a dozen tequila shots?" Ty Lee suggested.
"Ah yes, that would do it," Zhao snorted. "Anyway, so you are saying that I already finished the audit?" Mai quickly nodded. "That's great news. I wasn't looking forward to wasting my time on something so boring," Zhao said, picking up the stack of printed sheets and casually browsing them. "Hmm…" he hummed thoughtfully. Zuko and everyone else in the kitchen tensed nervously. "It looks like I might have gotten a little sloppy here and there," Zhao continued, leafing through the papers, but he eventually stopped and shrugged. "Oh well, it looks good enough for Ozai's pointless little competition." He then noticed something on the last page. "Odd that I didn't sign it, though."
"Well, we kicked off the celebrations a little early," On Ji interjected, beaming as she quickly presented Zhao with a pen. Zhao scratch his chin, shrugged and then signed the audit report, much to Zuko's silent jubilation.
"I suppose my work here is done," Zhao eventually said.
"Yes, you wouldn't want to overstay your welcome, would you?" Ty Lee suggested, quickly rounding up all of Zhao's things and handing them over to the slightly confused looking accountant.
"It's best that you run along now," Jin nodded in agreement, together with Ty Lee and On Ji starting to firmly guide Zhao towards the exit. "Now that you're done here, you can go home to your wife and kids."
"And ask your wife to prepare a cold compress for those bumps on your noggin, they don't look so good," On Ji added as between the three of them they already had Zhao on the threshold, opening the front doors for him.
"That's a good idea," Zhao nodded. "No, wait… I don't have a wife! Or kids-" he added just as he was forcefully pushed out of the restaurant, with doors slammed directly behind his back.
"Well, that was a complete mess," Jet remarked, shaking his head at what they had just witnessed.
"But a very successful mess, thanks to Mai's quick thinking," Zuko gave his ex-girlfriend a grateful stare. "I'm so relieved I could ki-… uh, express my most heartfelt gratitude to you, Mai."
"You're quite welcome, Zuko," Mai smiled faintly, but instead of facing Zuko, she seemed to be directing a smug, almost challenging stare at Jet. Zuko quickly turned to look at Jet, noticing that he was glaring right back at Mai.
"Uh, anyway…" Zuko spoke awkwardly, hoping to break up the tension. "It doesn't matter how we did it, the end result is a very flattering audit report for us, so… I think we should do exactly what we pretended to have done with Zhao."
"It's party time! Let the celebrations commence!" Ty Lee shouted, grabbing a bottle of champagne and quickly opening it, spraying both On Ji and Jin in the process. Jin immediately took it as a sign to get rid of her waitress uniform, and after a brief pause, On Ji followed her example, stripping off her clothes as well.
"Oh well," Zuko shrugged as the kitchen around him instantly became a setting to a wild and chaotic party. "I'm glad that there's at least one thing that never changes around this place. The chronic insanity of The Blue Spirit is actually kind of comforting."
Katara let out a huge yawn, setting the newspaper aside and giving up on the crossword she had been trying to solve while Azula was on the phone with Ty Lee. At the end of another long day, Katara's energy reserves were severely depleted and she was slowly falling asleep, with all of her remaining focus on Azula's phone conversation and not on the crossword. It was no wonder that she had just solved the crossword's clue of 'ironmonger' by writing down the word 'Harry', after the neighborhood's local ironmonger.
"Ugh," Azula grunted, tossing her phone away in disgust after finally ending her conversation with Ty Lee.
"Bad news?" Katara asked. From what she had overheard, Azula had tried to squeeze out as many details as she could about Zhao Sakamoto's audit at Zuko's restaurant, and the news that Ty Lee had shared clearly were not good for Azula.
"Zuko somehow blundered his way into a lucky break," Azula sighed, collapsing dramatically into the pillows. "I can't believe it, but for the first time in almost twenty years, I'm actually experiencing a real anxiety over possibly losing to Zuko. I don't like this feeling, not one bit."
Katara paused, debating on how to continue. Supporting Azula in this competition when it ultimately meant losing Azula to the Nakamura culinary empire was becoming harder and harder with each day. That said, regardless of her private thoughts, Katara didn't want to openly root for Azula to lose either because it would definitely upset Azula a great deal. So, for the past couple of weeks Katara had adopted a neutral stance on the competition, trying not to get involved. Still, this kind of passive neutrality and keeping her thoughts to herself definitely went against Katara's outspoken nature, and even someone as unobservant as Azula was starting to notice that something felt off.
"Wow, I'm really feeling the support right now," Azula sighed before Katara had managed to come up with something to say.
"I'm sorry about the bad news. You know I don't like seeing you upset," Katara spoke up calmly, refusing to react to Azula's mildly accusing statement. "But you have to understand that I'm in a difficult position here, right?"
Neither of the pair spoke up for a brief while before Azula eventually broke the silence. "Be honest, do you want me to lose?" Azula asked.
"What do you think the answer might be if that's the only way you're going to stay here in Caldera?" Katara sighed.
"I see," Azula said, sounding rather offended. "That upsets me, actually."
"Sorry, that's what I was trying to avoid," Katara spoke softly. "But… what else did you expect me to say? This entire situation is of your making, Azula. I've been very clear about what I want and what I'm offering to you."
"I don't know if you've been all that clear," Azula frowned. "Lately you've been kind of inscrutable and withdrawn."
"And why do you think that is?" Katara asked, her frustrations starting to mount. "Should I really wear my heart on the sleeve for someone who keeps repeatedly stating how they're going to leave me in a few months? I've opened my heart to you wide enough, I'm not opening it all the way when you're not playing for keeps. Besides, all this time you've been maintaining that we're just having fun while you're still in Caldera, but now you're going to act all disappointed that I'm not all in?"
Azula looked a little shocked about Katara's outburst that had been building for a long time. As seconds passed, however, Azula's shock slowly began to subside to be replaced with a guilty expression on her face. "Damn… no, you're right, I've been trying to have my cake and eat it too," Azula eventually admitted, looking downcast. "It's just that after you subtly moved in, I've been walking around with these rose-tinted glasses on, forgetting all about the position I've placed you in," Azula sighed. "I've been trying to think of ways we could… I don't know, make it work. After I've won the competition, I mean."
"I don't know," Katara frowned, feeling skeptical. "It seems like you're still trying to have your cake and eating it too." Azula looked at her, clearly needing Katara to elaborate. "Your father isn't suddenly going to change his mind and become accepting if you were to come out, right?"
"I wouldn't count on it, no," Azula said. "But I was thinking-"
"That we continue our relationship in secret?" Katara asked. "I don't want to hide, Azula. I won't be your mistress in the shadows. I think I deserve better than that."
"You do," Azula admitted forlornly. "But then… what is left for us to do?"
"I don't know, but this is as far as I can go right now, Azula," Katara sighed. "I know I'm going to get hurt in the end, but I don't want to make the pain worse if I can avoid it."
"I'm sorry…" Azula whispered, looking desperately miserable.
"Hey, I don't blame you for anything," Katara smiled sadly, reaching out to lightly touch Azula's arm. "I knew what I was getting into. I'm a grown ass woman, making my own stupid decisions. Still," Katara added, feeling convinced that she was making the right decision even if it bordered on making her physically ill. "I think it would be best if we pulled back a little. Go back to being just friends for the rest of your stay here."
"If you think that's for the best," Azula managed, somehow managing to hold back the tears.
"I don't want to do it, but I believe it is for the best," Katara sighed. "Besides, with your father arriving soon, you would have asked me to move back to my apartment, anyway. You wouldn't have risked him actually catching us in the act."
"Guilty as charged," Azula admitted, looking ashamed. "I honestly have no idea how I would have gotten around to asking that." Azula gave Katara a slightly frantic stare. "You're not going to leave right away, are you? I'll move to the sofa so that you can have the bed…"
"Calm down and breathe, silly," Katara smiled, reaching out to squeeze Azula's wrist. "I'm already in my pajamas, at the very least I'm going to stay the night. And obviously, we can still share the bed." Azula appeared at least marginally more relieved following Katara's words.
"Alright, I guess we can look at it as a sleepover," Azula said, settling in more comfortably in the pillows as Katara also took a moment to tuck herself in. "Even though it already feels like the world's saddest sleepover," Azula sighed, expressing a sentiment that Katara could not disagree with.
